Forced To Fight...And Win! 15 months Healed Yes....

[[ja...]]

Hi Ddd..

 

I can completely understand how you feel about not wanting to look at yourself. I didn't even look like me I look older tired my eyes are sunken in. I wouldn't suggest using any of the creams that have any kind of firming tightening anything like that because you're so sensitive during benzo withdrawal to any other kind of chemicals. but I do know if you keep your face moisturizing hydrated that will help with all that wrinkles and sunken in mind coconut oil is good as well. But Donna as you start to feel better and get a little bit more sleep you start seeing your skin look better the color the texture everything will start looking more like you hang in there. I know you're 8th month was terrible!  mine was too I'm hoping this month you'll start feeling relieved and then you'll start seeing a progression of getting well you're getting there little by little but you are getting there hanging try and get as much sleep as you can and when you can't don't feel frustrated just try and stay as calm as you can.

I think you're very strong. Oh by the way also make sure that you drink enough water and that will help your skin and your face as well

Xo

[[al...]]

Thinking of you Jaso and wondering how you have been .. Hope all is well

[[Sa...]]

I just joined this site today. I am struggling so hard dealing with this panic disorder and then taking these benzos. I am not sure which is which. When I stop taking the benzos, I am good for a few days and then yhe panic comes back. I am not sure if it is withdrawal or re emergence of symptoms. At any rate, your story is very inspiring. I cried when I read it because I want to stop taking the meds. I want to get better so bad. I just don't see the light at the end of this. Feels like I will be suffering from either the disorder or the withdrawal for the rest of my life. But you made me think otherwise. I am so lost right now. I just want to feel like my normal self again before thus panic disorder started.

 

Needtogetbetter,

I am sorry you are going through this bend.  I assure you it will pass and you will get better.

I just dropped in to tell you to try if you like the Klonopin support group here on benzobuddies.

They are experts in tapering klonopin and they are all going through it and can help you immensley

Don't loose hope.  You will be come out of this like everyone else.  Try to keep your spirits up by distraction and belly breathing.

And go to Klonopin suport.  It will make a big difference having their support

I am praying for you and know you will be alright.

Love

Saraa

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I  thought I post an update JennY.  one week into my ninth month my muscles are really hurt me bad I now have added pain where have tight muscles in between my shoulder blade and lower back besides the sciatic pain.  week today  have days where my husband has to dry me off from taking a shower cuz I can't do it myself still pacing and walking as much as I can.  I just wish I could stand straight up in the pain would just let Up more.  I keep reading your old Jason post and what you went through and trying to keep positive going but it's really tough at this point I know I will heal but I don't know how long I have to go through this.  I'm in a support group on Facebook and one of the members killed themselves last week walk into a train she was trying to get off the medication this is horrific with this stuff does to people.  still has trouble moving my left on like I want to my left side still affected worse than my right.  sleep is improving finally was sleeping and then it stopped finally got at least six and a half hours broken up sleep.  I'm so hoping that by my month 10 I'm feeling so much better brain fog is Less  legs don't hurt as much when I walk but my hips are aching so badly nerve pain in my butt has pretty much gone away but then it comes back every now and then so I know I'm seeing some improvement but I'm nowhere near feeling like I can function.  I think yesterday I completed one shower and I couldn't even fold my laundry because I couldn't get my hands to do what they were supposed to do.  just wanted to let you know where I'm at and 9 months and 1 week off just feels like its never ending but I know that my brain is healing each and every day I just wish it was stronger than it is and it would just get things right.  I will continue to update you as I go I'm so glad that you're enjoying life again it makes me smile that maybe one day that'll be me.

Donna

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Jenny  Inner vibrations and weakness are really hard to deal with right now.  I hate the shaking in the weakness I'm hoping that this subsides as it went away in my seven and a half months but is now back with a vengeance I'm wondering if you went to the same thing around 9 month.

Donna

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Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving Jenny

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Jenny one week away from 10 month this is so hard to battle this the pain seems to come in and out pretty hard still very weak still trying to walk in pace but spending more time in bed then I want to sucks on my laying on my stomach.  trying to imagine this gone living my life again but depression seems to be another battle that I'm dealing with and some of the anxiety that comes with it this is such a long hard road I pray soon then I'm where you are living my life again struggling everyday to keep going and struggling everyday to keep getting up out of bed god bless you and thank you for reading my post

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2 days away from 10 months.  last night nerve pain was through the roof I would say about a 1 to 10 it was a 19 shaking all over really bad weakness wondering if this is normal at 10 months out haven't heard from you lately Jenny I know you're busy with your life hope to hear from you soon and get your feedback god bless you

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I am a few days before 10 and a half months. Jenny the day after Christmas I will be10 and a half month.  pain is getting more bearable but it comes in through the day pretty hard brain fog still stays with me but its lighter Inner vibrationIn some shaking.  body jerks when i am in a e lite sleep.  still don't feel normal like myself some days wake up totally fatigued other days totally weak.  wanted to take the time to update you and wish you and your family a very very Merry Christmas. God bless you

[[pa...]]

Dearest Jenny,

 

Stopping by to say hello and to wish you a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.  You are the very best!

 

Love to you, Pattylu

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One week away from 11 months in the last couple of weeks extreme weakness is set in with shaking.  just walking and standing up as a struggle trying to do the simplest things as hard pain will subside to manageable one day and then be extremely hard the next wondering how much longer till I can endure such torture before things start to relax and allow me to function

[[ja...]]

Dearest Jenny,

 

Stopping by to say hello and to wish you a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.  You are the very best!

 

Love to you, Pattylu

Pattylu 

 

Thank you so much!  Merry Christmas and happy new year to you and your family.  What a beautiful surprise seeing you here on my blog.  Geez we've known each other for some time now and I think your amazing. ... xoxo

[[ja...]]

One week away from 11 months in the last couple of weeks extreme weakness is set in with shaking.  just walking and standing up as a struggle trying to do the simplest things as hard pain will subside to manageable one day and then be extremely hard the next wondering how much longer till I can endure such torture before things start to relax and allow me to function

Donna my friend hang in there I know this is hard and I know its so painful!

I feel so bad for you I know after 11 months of fighting this it's only so hard to get the strength to continue. But you can do this when I had my eleventh month I had such an extreme increase in symptoms such a wave that was so devastating!

 

If you look back on my blog I used to have a blog or even in this one you might see what I said at 11 months. But after that wave I saw all my Symptoms start to ease little by little and then slowly go away one by one I was healed of 15 months!!! Please stay strong you're doing so good you're almost there course nobody knows exact time frame when this is going to end but I do know one thing it will END!!!!

 

Have such a happy new year I hope your Christmas went well I'm sorry it took me so long to get on here but I'm always praying for you xoxo

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One week away from 11 months in the last couple of weeks extreme weakness is set in with shaking.  just walking and standing up as a struggle trying to do the simplest things as hard pain will subside to manageable one day and then be extremely hard the next wondering how much longer till I can endure such torture before things start to relax and allow me to function

Donna my friend hang in there I know this is hard and I know its so painful!

I feel so bad for you I know after 11 months of fighting this it's only so hard to get the strength to continue. But you can do this when I had my eleventh month I had such an extreme increase in symptoms such a wave that was so devastating!

 

If you look back on my blog I used to have a blog or even in this one you might see what I said at 11 months. But after that wave I saw all my Symptoms start to ease little by little and then slowly go away one by one I was healed of 15 months!!! Please stay strong you're doing so good you're almost there course nobody knows exact time frame when this is going to end but I do know one thing it will END!!!!

 

Have such a happy new year I hope your Christmas went well I'm sorry it took me so long to get on here but I'm always praying for you xoxo

 

Jenny I actually had a day with a pain in the nerve pain went away for most of the day then came back. Thank you for your encouraging words and I do go back and read your post many many times and I find that a lot of the symptoms on I'm going through you had as well. I have a couple that I don't think you have with my hand shake my left side is weak. Right now he's at the symptoms I do have, sore scalp so not as bad as it used to be seems this more dry than anything still have falling hair but not as much hair is like straw. nerve pain has gone down considerably the now I get really tight muscle pain in the upper shoulder blades in middle back that just seemed excruciating and unrelenting. Inter shaking weakness left arm always sore and stiff left leg nerve pain that seems to start from the hip down to the foot still feel heavy when I walk like my legs are heavy. Still have found issues so not as bad still cannot stand up straight kind of stand up leaning forward. Going into 11 and a half months next week and right at my menstrual cycle I'm praying that the symptoms aren't as bad as the waves aren't as bad as I have been around this time still have the brain fog heavy headedness going on can't wait for my head to totally clear. Thank you for reminding me that this will end because at this point when we're in this we just believe it's never ending you're always going to be this way. Fighting the fatigue today in the tight muscles in my back happy to report the nerve pain in my buttocks seems to be like only a level 1 or 2 which is real improvement so far. Thank you so much for responding to my post I look forward to hearing from you as I know you are an extreme cold turkey as i am . Get bits and pieces of what you went through around this time frame and I'm sure after years being done with this it's hard to remember exactly what you were feeling at the time but God bless you for answering me and keep giving me hope to carry on and get through this. Thank you for praying for me as this is the most and best medicine that I can receive right now it's from God the Almighty helping me get through this and healing me through this. Can't wait to get on the other side of this and start to live head of waking up everyday wishing it was over. I pray all is well in your life right now you certainly deserve a wonderful life.

 

Donna

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Hey there honey bunny just stopping by to sprinkle some sunshine over ur sweet face. I can finally visit here again without all the bad memories attached to the site. You sure were a life saver nearly four years since my 4mg cold turkey to think I thought that was a low dose.  Love ur still helping People.  Hope u and the family are as great as me and mine💗🌸😍🌸💗

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Jenny, 2 days away from one year and all symptoms are back in high gear such bad nerve pain and back pain at the same time. Still hard to stand up straight as this drug gave me dystonia where I lean forward. Left side is still really weak and now my hand shake enner vibrations our everyday now feels like my ears are blocked weakness. I feel like I'm never going to get better out of this this is the worst and that I've ever gone through in my whole life. Push myself out of bed every day and paste in my backyard for hours to try to deal with the pain unable to do even the most common chores right now. Extreme fatigue I just feel so hopeless and helpless at this point. I'm praying to God that the next month I start to see some real improvement. I've read that your 12th and 13th month was really hard and it pushes me to move on I pray that I feel so much better by the 15th month. I look forward to hearing back from you trying to stay out of a deep depression to this feel like I have no life at all.

 

Donna

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Jenny I am 12 and a half months right now I feel like I'm in the beginning of this all over again. This is the post I copied from you

 

Yes Hugest wave ever At  month 10 I went rt back into what felt like acute w/d

I was in a steady progress at month 7 to 10 then hit.I was in the worst w/d all over again,

It lasted me 3 months then backed down and then serious recovery took place.

I had twitching muscles ,Burning skin and muscle weakness with severe pain deep in the muscle like acid. I had insomnia again terrible. Lump in my throut so bad. My head had pressure and caused it to go numb,had a bit of doom and gloom again,my back was so painful and hurt alot.my feet and hands hat awful circulation were frozen like frost bite.heart palps, Breating was difficult.my legs felt heavy really heavy almost felt detatched.It was hard to think how could I be getting worse I was getting better. I truly believe its the Grand Finally of this Beast.Then its Outta Here..Hang In I know ur hurting.

 

~Jenny

 

 

This is how I feel right now pretty much to the T pain is so bad were you extremely weak and did you have to spend a lot of time in and out of bed.  The weakness is so bad right now and I'm shaking and terrible doom and gloom  back so stiff and painful, nerve pain my butt extreme acid feeling legs super weak hard to walk on. Jenny how did you get through the last 3 months I wake up in ball every day so much pain so much I cannot do that I was doing a little bit before. I hope to hear back from you soon I hang on to your words and what you went through and hang on to the fact that this may be the way that I get through this because I'm feeling pretty badly right now trying to stay positive but don't know how.

 

Donna

[[ja...]]

Donna poor sweetie .

 

I am so  sad to hear how much pain you are in I remember all so well how hard it is! I just want you to keep as strong as you can doing this hopefully last wave before all that healing start showing up keep yourself as calm as you can and remember how far you have come because of things that will keep you strong when you need it the most!

 

I can remember very well myself in your position but I can promise you when you get better you will be so good again I'm so sorry I haven't been here in a long time I just haven't been logging on much because I've been working full time job three children and just really busy with my mom has been very sick. but I have not forgotten about you and everything that you've been going through I just want you to know this and you just have to keep repeating that to yourself this will end I can do this I am strong and I will get through this 100%! I'm praying for you my friend stay strong. Just stay strong xoxoxo

[[ja...]]

Hey there honey bunny just stopping by to sprinkle some sunshine over ur sweet face. I can finally visit here again without all the bad memories attached to the site. You sure were a life saver nearly four years since my 4mg cold turkey to think I thought that was a low dose.  Love ur still helping People.  Hope u and the family are as great as me and mine💗🌸😍🌸💗

sweetheart what a wonderful surprise!!! How are you honey how have you been I'm so happy to hear you're doing so much better you have been through so much I can't believe it. Time is flying like four years ago when we first met! I hope life is treating you very well because you deserve it so much honey thank you so much for stopping by to say hello we had so much fun right I mean not really fun in such a horrible time but we made the best of it that way lol come back and let me know how everything goes I don't log on as much because I've been very busy I work a full time job and just don't have much time but let me know how you are

Xoxo💕💕💕💕💕😙

[[no...]]

Donna poor sweetie .

 

I am so  sad to hear how much pain you are in I remember all so well how hard it is! I just want you to keep as strong as you can doing this hopefully last wave before all that healing start showing up keep yourself as calm as you can and remember how far you have come because of things that will keep you strong when you need it the most!

 

I can remember very well myself in your position but I can promise you when you get better you will be so good again I'm so sorry I haven't been here in a long time I just haven't been logging on much because I've been working full time job three children and just really busy with my mom has been very sick. but I have not forgotten about you and everything that you've been going through I just want you to know this and you just have to keep repeating that to yourself this will end I can do this I am strong and I will get through this 100%! I'm praying for you my friend stay strong. Just stay strong xoxoxo

 

 

Hi Jenny  sorry to hear about your Mum I hope things improve for her  You certainly got your hands full right now, so how are you doing yourself? its wonderful that you still come here to help others, but how is your health these days and are you coping okay with all the additional stress sweetie  I really hope so, I know your a fighter and have great strength but even the strong need to rest once in a while too

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[Re...]]

Man,I'm really surprised this thread is still ticking ov4r. I guess atheists (like me) are well represtented in BB's.

[[ja...]]

RedOrBlue  I'm so confused by your message what does that mean? I hope it wasn't something mean. I think this thread has been alive for 4 years because a lot of people have been suffering with not really many answers and being that I've healed I try to help them with a lot of their symptoms and letting them know how much better it does get :-)

[[ja...]]

[sxsuote author=nova 1 link=topic=35453.msg2039913#msg2039913 date=1456985369]

Donna poor sweetie .

 

I am so  sad to hear how much pain you are in I remember all so well how hard it is! I just want you to keep as strong as you can doing this hopefully last wave before all that healing start showing up keep yourself as calm as you can and remember how far you have come because of things that will keep you strong when you need it the most!

 

I can remember very well myself in your position but I can promise you when you get better you will be so good again I'm so sorry I haven't been here in a long time I just haven't been logging on much because I've been working full time job three children and just really busy with my mom has been very sick. but I have not forgotten about you and everything that you've been going through I just want you to know this and you just have to keep repeating that to yourself this will end I can do this I am strong and I will get through this 100%! I'm praying for you my friend stay strong. Just stay strong xoxoxo

 

 

Hi Jenny  sorry to hear about your Mum I hope things improve for her  You certainly got your hands full right now, so how are you doing yourself? its wonderful that you still come here to help others, but how is your health these days and are you coping okay with all the additional stress sweetie  I really hope so, I know your a fighter and have great strength but even the strong need to rest once in a while too

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

Nova 💕

Thank you so much for thinking of me that is so sweet.  I am doing very well and even with my mom being sick  and working a full-time job it has not affected me in a negative way at all thank God.Sxs have not returned   How are you sweetheart? 

[[mp...]]

Hi dear Jenny  Here I am; at the precipice of my 5 year anniversary! Can you believe it?? I am doing so well too!! Thank you for sticking around after your healing process to help all of us... you were so important to my own process, I'll never be able to thank you enough.

 

I was so weak and destroyed when we were getting to know each other!! Now I am very nearly my own true self once again; strong and solid! Not paranoid or afraid to stick up for myself or others; online or in the real world.

 

I will be back soon to post my final goodbye, but I had to say a special so long to you on your own thread. You are wonderful!

 

Love,

 

M.

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Still fighting this battle 13 and a half months still hard to walk on my left leg still pain nerve pain insomnia has come back still having a hard time moving my left arm still having a hard time with life in general trying to fight through this and have hope that it will leave. Mental symptoms are horrible still unable to really take good care of myself I pray this is over soon