The Long Hold Support Group

[[Un...]]

Vali,

 

Thank you, too!  Yes I have found my brand through my insurance company’s online pharmacy and really hope they will keep supplying it, as I have no idea how long this will take now.  I’m still stuck on .4mg of Roche brand because if I remove it, all hell breaks loose.  What a mess brand changes are when already so destabilized. 

 

I’m so sorry for what happened.  And that you have an issue other than wd on top.  Being in a rough spot in life makes this extra tricky.  I’m in one, as well, and just need to get some basic functioning back to ensure I’ll be ok in life, not even just wd.  I totally get what you’re saying about not being able to see a trailer for a horror film, even thought it’s something you love.  That glutamate damage did the same to me.  I can’t watch hardly anything and can’t even hear music at all, still, and my whole life was pretty much music.  Forget seeing anything David Lynch, whose films I used to adore.  All the cool stuff I used to be into is off the table completely for now.  I so relate,  Rawrrr!  I’m hoping it will keep improving for you with these things and more, and I sure hope I’m following along behind you with improvements.  I saw somewhere you said it took you 7 months or so of holding to even feel human again, so I’m holding onto that.  We shall see.

I know everyone is different. 

 

Your daughter is sure lucky to have you!  You sound like an awesome mom. 

[[va...]]

Vali,

 

Thank you, too!  Yes I have found my brand through my insurance company’s online pharmacy and really hope they will keep supplying it, as I have no idea how long this will take now.  I’m still stuck on .4mg of Roche brand because if I remove it, all hell breaks loose.  What a mess brand changes are when already so destabilized. 

 

I’m so sorry for what happened.  And that you have an issue other than wd on top.  Being in a rough spot in life makes this extra tricky.  I’m in one, as well, and just need to get some basic functioning back to ensure I’ll be ok in life, not even just wd.  I totally get what you’re saying about not being able to see a trailer for a horror film, even thought it’s something you love.  That glutamate damage did the same to me.  I can’t watch hardly anything and can’t even hear music at all, still, and my whole life was pretty much music.  Forget seeing anything David Lynch, whose films I used to adore.  All the cool stuff I used to be into is off the table completely for now.  I so relate,  Rawrrr!  I’m hoping it will keep improving for you with these things and more, and I sure hope I’m following along behind you with improvements.  I saw somewhere you said it took you 7 months or so of holding to even feel human again, so I’m holding onto that.  We shall see.

I know everyone is different. 

 

Your daughter is sure lucky to have you!  You sound like an awesome mom.

 

You will improve  I hope you keep getting your brand. I hate music too. It's just too much for me. Although lately it bother me a bit less. Gossip TV and political debates I can do all day though. It keeps me company.

[[Un...]]

Vali,

 

Thank you, too!  Yes I have found my brand through my insurance company’s online pharmacy and really hope they will keep supplying it, as I have no idea how long this will take now.  I’m still stuck on .4mg of Roche brand because if I remove it, all hell breaks loose.  What a mess brand changes are when already so destabilized. 

 

I’m so sorry for what happened.  And that you have an issue other than wd on top.  Being in a rough spot in life makes this extra tricky.  I’m in one, as well, and just need to get some basic functioning back to ensure I’ll be ok in life, not even just wd.  I totally get what you’re saying about not being able to see a trailer for a horror film, even thought it’s something you love.  That glutamate damage did the same to me.  I can’t watch hardly anything and can’t even hear music at all, still, and my whole life was pretty much music.  Forget seeing anything David Lynch, whose films I used to adore.  All the cool stuff I used to be into is off the table completely for now.  I so relate,  Rawrrr!  I’m hoping it will keep improving for you with these things and more, and I sure hope I’m following along behind you with improvements.  I saw somewhere you said it took you 7 months or so of holding to even feel human again, so I’m holding onto that.  We shall see.

I know everyone is different. 

 

Your daughter is sure lucky to have you!  You sound like an awesome mom.

 

You will improve  I hope you keep getting your brand. I hate music too. It's just too much for me. Although lately it bother me a bit less. Gossip TV and political debates I can do all day though. It keeps me company.

 

Thank you so much for reassuring me 🙏🏻  And relating!  Such a bummer about music.  In time for both of us.  Oh to be able to get to some Gossip TV.  I’ve only been able to have slow moving 70’s or 80’s movies on the TV in the background at volume 5 or lower haha.  Though I can’t watch or follow, just filling the silence.  Hugs! 

[[va...]]

Unicorn, every person's brain is so different. When I was in very severe wd, all I watched was gossip TV. It made me feel like I was with people. I had monophobia which is fear of being alone. I hate music because it makes me feel too much. Lately I can tolerate the music from the 80s. You know what really calms me down? The show "my life with 600 pounds".

[[Tr...]]

 

My 600 pound life!  :laugh:

[[se...]]

Trochsetter,  ME TOO I like my big fat fabulous life!

[[Me...]]

hi all, just wanted to pop in and say hi.  read just some of the last few posts. great to see some of you have walked off.  That is so encouraging and inspiring.  I am currently not holding but going at a snail's pace.  0.001 micro taper.  Sometimes I will do a small hold if sxs flare up.  I know I am not unique but my failed cold turkey and way too fast *for me* taper of 1 mg a month from 10-5 really threw my body into a tailspin.  Then I did my 6 month hold at 5 mg and got stable.  I am back tapering very slow but being hit with these weird burning sensations and pain in my muscles in my arms.  I try not to freak out and just accept that these are just withdrawal sensations.  today I have weird burning in my left ankle and very mild numbness. And just normal. I guess.

 

so anyways, HI TO ALL! 

LOVE AND HEALING!

Meems 

 

Meems have you checked your neck and lower back to see if the burning and numbness in extremities could be caused by a herniated disc? I'm saying this because I have cervical and lumbar stenosis and they case these sxs in arms and legs.

 

Hi Val,

No I haven’t checked my neck or lower back.  I don’t have any pain but n my neck or lower back.  Did you have pain? 

[[Be...]]

Well, looks like I may be hanging around here again. Hit a wall and am holding for I don't know how long. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

 

Congrats to those of you who recently walked off, or are soon going too. Someday I'll get there. 

 

 

Haven't see howmanytimes posting, her profile lists 5/22 as her last log-in date. She hit a wall at 10 mg and held for 2 months. She got down to 8.5 mg diazepam days before her last post. Hope she is doing okay.

[[Au...]]

Hi all,

I was hoping someone had heard from howmanytimes. I messaged her but yet to hear back, I hope she’s doing well.

 

I hope everyone is having success with their holds.

 

🤗

 

 

[[va...]]

hi all, just wanted to pop in and say hi.  read just some of the last few posts. great to see some of you have walked off.  That is so encouraging and inspiring.  I am currently not holding but going at a snail's pace.  0.001 micro taper.  Sometimes I will do a small hold if sxs flare up.  I know I am not unique but my failed cold turkey and way too fast *for me* taper of 1 mg a month from 10-5 really threw my body into a tailspin.  Then I did my 6 month hold at 5 mg and got stable.  I am back tapering very slow but being hit with these weird burning sensations and pain in my muscles in my arms.  I try not to freak out and just accept that these are just withdrawal sensations.  today I have weird burning in my left ankle and very mild numbness. And just normal. I guess.

 

so anyways, HI TO ALL! 

LOVE AND HEALING!

Meems 

 

Meems have you checked your neck and lower back to see if the burning and numbness in extremities could be caused by a herniated disc? I'm saying this because I have cervical and lumbar stenosis and they case these sxs in arms and legs.

 

Hi Val,

No I haven’t checked my neck or lower back.  I don’t have any pain but n my neck or lower back.  Did you have pain?

 

Yes meems, usually if the culprit is the neck or back there would be pain there first. Maybe it's just withdrawal.

 

Benzolottie welcome to the group.

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone remember me? 👱‍♀️👋

Just wanted to jump on and give a shout out to all my old friend's here. I hope you're all doing well and congrats to those who have finally kicked the benzo devil to the curb! Good on you!!

I'm still plugging along in my very long taper. I have been at .75 since mother's day of this year. I am finding that my heart palps have gotten worse and intrusive, unwanted thoughts have gone into high gear especially at night when I lay my head down on the pillow. The excessive worry and looping crazy thoughts have really done a number on my sleep. I watch my grandson who will be 1 yr old on July 6th everyday and it's so difficult to do even when I'm well rested. It's extremely challenging to try to do sleep deprived. I am going on a family vacation to Disney world in October and I had planned to make two tiny cuts before that trip, one this month and one in August and then hold again until after my trip. I'm not sure now if I'm going to meet that goal bc of the intrusive thoughts and the heart palps. I'm so tired of doing this taper I just want to be be free of it. 😞

Anywho, just wanted to hop in and say hey to my old friend's and the new ones who have found the LHSG. Lots of love to all of you. Keep up the good fight my people there's hope to the finish line and we have to cling to that.

Trishy♥️

 

Hey 🙋‍♀️ Mary, Stut, Ginger, memes, GP, final, vnm, Troch, Can't🕵️‍♂️, NJ, olive kitty, English.... My brain is short circuiting so if I forgot your name I'm sure you know it's not intentional it's just the nature of the beast( benzo brain) 🥴

 

Miss you all!! 😘♥️♥️♥️

[[Tr...]]

Hi Trishy, sooooo glad to see you back! 

 

I've been worried about you. It's been so long since you were on here.

 

Sorry you're having those issues at the moment. I hope things will improve for you very soon.

 

When tapering so slow, it often feels as if you're never going to make it off. But you will make it! Keep believing that!

 

Stay strong!  X

 

Trochsetter

 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Trishy, sooooo glad to see you back! 

 

I've been worried about you. It's been so long since you were on here.

 

Sorry you're having those issues at the moment. I hope things will improve for you very soon.

 

When tapering so slow, it often feels as if you're never going to make it off. But you will make it! Keep believing that!

 

Stay strong!  X

 

Trochsetter

 

Trochsetter

Hey Troch thank you so much for the encouragement! I'll keep turtling along until hopefully one day this will all just be a memory.

It's gotten very quiet around here. I hope our old buddies are doing ok. I rarely get to check in anymore bc of the babysitting. I have had 4 days off which have been wonderful but back to it tomorrow. Well you stay well my friend and I'm so happy for you!! You did it, you made it off!! You're an inspiration now to the rest of us.😊

Trishy♥️

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi,

 

Where is everybody?  All gone into hibernation? Or stopped holding?

 

Hope you're all fine.

 

Trochsetter

 

 

[[Be...]]

I'm holding but going through a rough time, so I'm not posting much.

[[Tr...]]

 

Hi BenzoLottie,

 

So sorry to hear that! I hope you feel better soon!

 

The best of luck to you❣

 

Stay strong!  X

 

Trochsetter

[[ki...]]

Troch, how are you feeling? You’re creeping up on 1 month benzo free!

[[Gi...]]

I'm still here but going through a rough time the past three weeks.  I thought at 7 months off I would be doing better but this is the worst ever.  Nothing to do but endure.

Saw my Dr yesterday.  He said he could give me a bit of benzo for the high anxiety.  I said "I'll go to my grave first before I ever take another benzo."  Trying to carry on, fake it til you make it.

 

Benzo Lottie,

So sorry it's  rough for you too.  Ginger

 

[[Un...]]

Hi LHSG,

 

Holding here, too.  Rough, rough.  Mostly just reading here and trying to find a way to get some bit of functioning back.  Or at least out of the severe stuff.  Wish I would’ve listened to the advice when I first met the long holder way back in 2018.  Kicking myself.

 

Hope you are all doing well, and if you’re not that better times are coming soon.

 

Uni

[[va...]]

I'm still here but going through a rough time the past three weeks.  I thought at 7 months off I would be doing better but this is the worst ever.  Nothing to do but endure.

Saw my Dr yesterday.  He said he could give me a bit of benzo for the high anxiety.  I said "I'll go to my grave first before I ever take another benzo."  Trying to carry on, fake it til you make it.

 

Benzo Lottie,

So sorry it's  rough for you too.  Ginger

 

Ginger mint hang in there. It should get better eventually. I'm sorry it's gotten so rough. The doctor is nuts imo. If you're desperate research hydroxycine. It's an antihistamine and does help a bit with anxiety and isn't addictive that I know of. I took it a couple months. Better if you managed to take nothing though. 🤞

[[Un...]]

Ginger that’s exciting you are off.  Sorry it’s so bad this past few weeks.    I hope you start feeling much better soon. 

 

Hugs

[[Be...]]

 

Hi BenzoLottie,

 

So sorry to hear that! I hope you feel better soon!

 

The best of luck to you❣

 

Stay strong!  X

 

Trochsetter

 

 

Thanks. It's not just the benzo taper; it's real life stuff adding stress. Sister's heart condition, SIL's dementia, contractor I'm suing for failure to complete the work, Pdoc giving me grief making a mountain over a molehill involving a simple disability update form (My Endo and my Psych NP are on my side), so I'm not sure I'm keeping Pdoc. It's just more stress and it's making tapering right now impossible.

 

I need to hold until all this settles down. Appreciate the support.

 

[[Be...]]

 

 

Benzo Lottie,

So sorry it's  rough for you too.  Ginger

 

 

Thanks. Hope things get better for you.

[[Di...]]

Hi BenzoLottie,

I am so very sorry you are having so much stress my heart hurts for you... I understand.  Our tapers would be so much easier to endure if we just didn't have the stress to deal with.  Always praying for my benzo buddies.

 

Hugs❤

[[Be...]]

Hi BenzoLottie,

I am so very sorry you are having so much stress my heart hurts for you... I understand.  Our tapers would be so much easier to endure if we just didn't have the stress to deal with.  Always praying for my benzo buddies.

 

Hugs❤

 

Thank you for your kind post. I pray for all here on BB as well.