The Long Hold Support Group

[[...]]

Wow a lot of activity all the sudden.

 

DD have you considered a cross over to Valium? Since the Z is not working for you I would CO that as well.

 

Clearblue, I would definitely cross over. Valium has a long half life which reduces interdose withdrawal. You'll be glad when you get to low doses. It's also sedating which helps with anxiety.

[[ja...]]

Jasmine, the only people who understand what we’re going through are others who are going through it or have gone through it. Be gentle with yourself. Benzos mess with our hormones so it can take a while for our cycles to settle down.

 

Thanks kit for the kind words as always.

Can the hormones settle.down whIle on hold? I have read on this board that benzos mess with our hormones.

I can't believe that one day I can mow the lawn and the next I am bed bound with a terrible migraine.

[[De...]]

Hi jwl,

I have thought about it but the last time I tried it was a disaster.  I was done wrong and thats when my mucles got hurt. So I went back to k and was put 9n the gaba last year with a new psych. So its ro hard to ask because they don't agree or believe me. So im getting lower on my dose so I figure ill just stay with the k. But I'm doing OK. Just have flooding memories popping up and swirling in my head. Everyday is a mystery coming of this drug. 

[[va...]]

Hi jwl,

I have thought about it but the last time I tried it was a disaster.  I was done wrong and thats when my mucles got hurt. So I went back to k and was put 9n the gaba last year with a new psych. So its ro hard to ask because they don't agree or believe me. So im getting lower on my dose so I figure ill just stay with the k. But I'm doing OK. Just have flooding memories popping up and swirling in my head. Everyday is a mystery coming of this drug. 

 

Hi Suzy. I'm glad to hear from you.

 

Do you have flooding neuro memories from the Gabapentin withdrawal or the klonopin withdrawal? I guess it's the Gabapentin as you're holding the k since may unless there's something missing in your signature?

 

Sending you hugs my friend.

[[Da...]]

HI

 

I wanted to share a positive update.  I had a rough time after cutting to 0.125 K.  I had to updose to 0.125 twice daily.  I starting holding and wasn't feeling very encouraged.  However, over the last week I've had really good days with decreasing symptoms. I'm only 1 month into the hold but I will stay here for a while.  I actually have no plans to decrease and I'm not going to worry about it!

 

Thanks for all of the support.

 

D

[[De...]]

Hey v!

It must be the gabapentin,  idk? Its awful, the same story keeps going over im my head. Its driving me crazy, and I keep blaming myself for everything that went wrong at my old job, my relapse. I know 8 played a part, but im crucify myself. Plus, im thinking maybe 8m too nice or soft and that's why my life got so messed up. Sorry, this is weird. I hope you are ok. Hope your mental sx are letting up. I think I liked the pain better,  7gh love you

[[De...]]

Thats good news danko! I am so glad the hold helped you!!!

[[Ma...]]

HI

 

I wanted to share a positive update.  I had a rough time after cutting to 0.125 K.  I had to updose to 0.125 twice daily.  I starting holding and wasn't feeling very encouraged.  However, over the last week I've had really good days with decreasing symptoms. I'm only 1 month into the hold but I will stay here for a while.  I actually have no plans to decrease and I'm not going to worry about it!

 

Thanks for all of the support.

 

D

 

Good for you Danko, that's great!! 

[[De...]]

I think im over that sx. That was weird!! Ugh

[[va...]]

Hey v!

It must be the gabapentin,  idk? Its awful, the same story keeps going over im my head. Its driving me crazy, and I keep blaming myself for everything that went wrong at my old job, my relapse. I know 8 played a part, but im crucify myself. Plus, im thinking maybe 8m too nice or soft and that's why my life got so messed up. Sorry, this is weird. I hope you are ok. Hope your mental sx are letting up. I think I liked the pain better,  7gh love you

 

Suzy you're not too nice, it's the others that are too mean. Yeah, it must be the gabapentin then although it could still be waves from the K? It's so hard to tell. I guess you're holding hard until you feel much better before you cut anything again. I love you too my friend. I found this audio book called "The pursuit of God" and it really helps me to play it at night. Wishing you get better soon.

[[De...]]

Hi v,

Probably a combo of both. I will def be holding for a while. My brain sure comes up with weird things. Thanks for that audio! I'm going to look for it. Things will get better for us, its is temporary! 

[[Sc...]]

Hi LHSG, I hope this finds you well.

I used to hang around here, but was away for awhile with other health issues & have been in such bad shape just been laying low & I know this group moves fast & im moving slow. I do need support. Hello to all whom I've missed. I'm having a sorta urgent issue that I don't know if anyone can help me with. .?.

I've been having Derealization with visual distortions, since sometime after I crossed out half my k for equal amounts X. I didn't know benzos were causing my sxs.

I Havnt told my psychiatrist. I'm too scared, cog fogged, etc. He's not benzo wise, but doesn't push me to taper. Pretty much let's me figure it out within reason. But he's really not benzo wise & I think would spook easy if I told him what's going on & then I don't Know what he'd do.

I want to tell him & need support but such a scary proposition.

Here's my main question untill I either tell him or get a new pdoc & tell them..I have doctor appointments coming right up, where I really feel I need to tell these providers my sxs, & probably possible cause? Would be hard to withhold. Have appts. W/pcp, eye doc, MS nuerologist. I really need to tell. But.

I'm talking hippa & legality in the states. Does anyone know, If one of my medical providers can tell my psychiatrist things that I hAvnt told my psychiatrist, even though these sxs/things may be related to meds pdoc/he's scripting me?..Benzos?

Links to my current situation-the second one talks about what kind of docs I need to see ASAP.

TIA

SC💕

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=246858.msg3142151#msg3142151

 

[[Tr...]]

Hey LHSG'ers,

Have been in a really bad way. Wish I had support to give but I don't. Dealing with a ton of anxiety and a mysterious lump I found in my neck. Very stressed out.

Just wanted to hop on and wish you all well. Thinking of you all.

Trishy ❤️

[[Sc...]]

Hope you feel better soon Trishy.❤️

[[Gi...]]

Hey LHSG'ers,

Have been in a really bad way. Wish I had support to give but I don't. Dealing with a ton of anxiety and a mysterious lump I found in my neck. Very stressed out.

Just wanted to hop on and wish you all well. Thinking of you all.

Trishy ❤️

 

Hi Trishy,

 

I'm so sorry you are having an uptick in anxiety.  I am too.  Just overall increase in sx and it sucks.  Mine is possibly from the steroid injection in my back three weeks ago, but I'm not sure.

 

Where on your neck is the lump?  Is it painful?  Is that why the increase in anxiety? I hope everything calms down for you soon. G

 

[[Ma...]]

Hey LHSG'ers,

Have been in a really bad way. Wish I had support to give but I don't. Dealing with a ton of anxiety and a mysterious lump I found in my neck. Very stressed out.

Just wanted to hop on and wish you all well. Thinking of you all.

Trishy ❤️

 

Oh no Trishy.  Where on your neck is it?  It is probably nothing as bad as you are thinking, so get a Dr appointment as quickly as possible.  Anticipatory anxiety is the absolute worse.  You know I love you very much.  If you want to talk , always here for you.  Have you made another cut?  Tim is coming back so I have to go but will check in later.  🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😷

[[Tr...]]

Hey LHSG'ers,

Have been in a really bad way. Wish I had support to give but I don't. Dealing with a ton of anxiety and a mysterious lump I found in my neck. Very stressed out.

Just wanted to hop on and wish you all well. Thinking of you all.

Trishy ❤️

 

Oh no Trishy.  Where on your neck is it?  It is probably nothing as bad as you are thinking, so get a Dr appointment as quickly as possible.  Anticipatory anxiety is the absolute worse.  You know I love you very much.  If you want to talk , always here for you.  Have you made another cut?  Tim is coming back so I have to go but will check in later.  🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😷

Hi Mary 😞

It's where my carotid artery is on right side on neck. It's more like a swelling. My daughter and dil both felt it, daughter doesn't know and dil thinks it's a lymph node and nothing to worry about. Also a weird sensation in upper right of my throat when swallowing like a crunching or bone on bone sensation or like a clicking feeling.. So hard to describe. No obstructing feeling though and foo drinking and eating not a problem getting anything down?? I'm so very, very, very upset. I just can't cope right now at all. Have clammy hands, racing heart, just absolutely terrified beyond words. This anxiety is the worst anxiety I have had in a very, very long time. It's so bad I just want to jump in the car and go to the hospital. Truly girlfriend it's extreme, extreme. I want to cry but can't. I tear up but that's it.

Rich is great but he has no idea what to say to me. My best friend is useless when it comes to me she is very needy and can only listen when it's about her.

I don't know Mary I'm in bad shape, very bad shape. I dropped by Can'ts and that made me smile, posted quick and then logged out.

I'm lost tonight and afraid and very alone in my fear.  :'(

Love you,

TT ❤️😩

[[Ma...]]

Hey LHSG'ers,

Have been in a really bad way. Wish I had support to give but I don't. Dealing with a ton of anxiety and a mysterious lump I found in my neck. Very stressed out.

Just wanted to hop on and wish you all well. Thinking of you all.

Trishy ❤️

 

Oh no Trishy.  Where on your neck is it?  It is probably nothing as bad as you are thinking, so get a Dr appointment as quickly as possible.  Anticipatory anxiety is the absolute worse.  You know I love you very much.  If you want to talk , always here for you.  Have you made another cut?  Tim is coming back so I have to go but will check in later.  🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😷

Hi Mary 😞

It's where my carotid artery is on right side on neck. It's more like a swelling. My daughter and dil both felt it, daughter doesn't know and dil thinks it's a lymph node and nothing to worry about. Also a weird sensation in upper right of my throat when swallowing like a crunching or bone on bone sensation or like a clicking feeling.. So hard to describe. No obstructing feeling though and foo drinking and eating not a problem getting anything down?? I'm so very, very, very upset. I just can't cope right now at all. Have clammy hands, racing heart, just absolutely terrified beyond words. This anxiety is the worst anxiety I have had in a very, very long time. It's so bad I just want to jump in the car and go to the hospital. Truly girlfriend it's extreme, extreme. I want to cry but can't. I tear up but that's it.

Rich is great but he has no idea what to say to me. My best friend is useless when it comes to me she is very needy and can only listen when it's about her.

I don't know Mary I'm in bad shape, very bad shape. I dropped by Can'ts and that made me smile, posted quick and then logged out.

I'm lost tonight and afraid and very alone in my fear.  :'(

Love you,

TT ❤️😩

 

Are you going to make a Dr appointment tomorrow?  It could be nothing or next to nothing anyway.

I know your anxiety is high.  I think everyone just about loses it now when something happens, we are all so nervous.  You can go to the emergency room if you are afraid.  Rich would take you in a heartbeat.  Go curl up next to him and try to relax.  You are going to be fine.  Why don't you put a question on Withdrawal Support.  Remember you got all that information on Potts.  Just try to calm down my friend, your daughter and dil

will help you get it sorted.  Keep me posted , everyone is concerned.  Love you, Mary  :smitten:🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️

[[ki...]]

Trishy, I just want to say that I feel for you. Many of us know that awful anxiety. It will pass and you will be better. Sending you love and light.

[[va...]]

Hi LHSG, I hope this finds you well.

I used to hang around here, but was away for awhile with other health issues & have been in such bad shape just been laying low & I know this group moves fast & im moving slow. I do need support. Hello to all whom I've missed. I'm having a sorta urgent issue that I don't know if anyone can help me with. .?.

I've been having Derealization with visual distortions, since sometime after I crossed out half my k for equal amounts X. I didn't know benzos were causing my sxs.

I Havnt told my psychiatrist. I'm too scared, cog fogged, etc. He's not benzo wise, but doesn't push me to taper. Pretty much let's me figure it out within reason. But he's really not benzo wise & I think would spook easy if I told him what's going on & then I don't Know what he'd do.

I want to tell him & need support but such a scary proposition.

Here's my main question untill I either tell him or get a new pdoc & tell them..I have doctor appointments coming right up, where I really feel I need to tell these providers my sxs, & probably possible cause? Would be hard to withhold. Have appts. W/pcp, eye doc, MS nuerologist. I really need to tell. But.

I'm talking hippa & legality in the states. Does anyone know, If one of my medical providers can tell my psychiatrist things that I hAvnt told my psychiatrist, even though these sxs/things may be related to meds pdoc/he's scripting me?..Benzos?

Links to my current situation-the second one talks about what kind of docs I need to see ASAP.

TIA

SC💕

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=246858.msg3142151#msg3142151

 

Hi Scaredie. I'm sorry nobody answered your post yet. I'm sure they didn't see it.

 

I don't know how severe your visual distortions are. When my taper went wrong, I do know my eyesight was terrible but I was so sick that it didn't worry me because all my other sxs were scarier. But it's true that when I started stabilizing after an eternal hold, my eyesight also got better.  I would definitely give yourself a long, long hold until the DR has gone away, and that might take a while. I learned that there's really no point in rushing this. Plus, it's not safe to rush.

 

As for telling the doctors about your sxs: I would just mention to the eye dr and neurologist: "I happen to be tapering my benzodiazepine, and I see that this has started during the taper. I thought there might be a connection". Then, if you see the dr. accepts the correlation, you have found gold. In my experience, chances are one  in a million that they'll give you any kind of validation so don't expect it.

 

This is a very lonely path. We obsess with getting validation from drs. but the thing is we don't and we probably never will. That's why we don't leave BBs in spite of taking some distance sometimes, because at least here we see others that have the same experience and that's the evidence that we're not crazy. It's so unfair that the medical profession brushes this off, especially with a drug that has been on the market for so long. You'd think it would be time for them to know more about it. But so many things in this world are unfair, and this is one of them and we were unlucky enough to be the guinea pigs of this experiment, or the clowns in this circus.

 

I'm sure if you give yourself a long hold, these sxs of DR and visual distortions will subside. Remember when holding, in the beginning things get worse before they get better, as there are probably sxs from your last cut that haven't shown up yet.

 

I'm not posting very often now, but if you repeat your posts you'll eventually get an answer from someone.

 

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

VNM

[[De...]]

Hi scardie,

I totally agree with vali. I didn't answer yesterday because my cognitive function is off . Seems somewhat better today. I am so sorry. When I go to the drs I get scared too. I tell them and they most time they dont listen and skip over it like I never told them. They don't seem to interested and then they go on to the reason you went for the appt. It can be frustrating,  but what can we do They don't get it. Try not to let it bother you, we all go through it. In some cases maybe you might find someone who gets it, but not completely. D9nt be afraid, just go get checked, do the best you can and get it o er with. I dought they will tell your psych,  so far that hasn't happened to me. Keep holding like v says, you will do just fine.

[[Ol...]]

Hi Scaredie,

I remember you! Hello! I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I agree with everything VNM said. Also, drs cannot talk to each other without your written consent, unless they are in the same system.. like I use Providence, so all of my notes from the dermatologist are available to my gyn.. etc..

 

Trishy,

Girl, I'm so sorry you are suffering! I hope you feel better today. Are you going to be able to see a dr soon about the lump? I have had lymph nodes swell, and they go down on their own. Their job is to swell when they are fighting something. Maybe you are just fighting off a cold or something small. Love you! Let us know how you are doing.

 

[[Tr...]]

Mary, Ginger, Olive, Kit and Scardie( yes I remember you Scardie! ❤️) Thank you all for your kind words. These past few days have been hell with the anxiety. I just can't thank you all enough for the support. Big gi- normous hugs for all of you! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I ended up going to ER this morning bc my Dr's office was closed today 😡 anyway I went to a very well known hospital ER in Connecticut. I wanted smart Dr's lolol!

Dr said it is a swollen lymph node and just to watch it to see if it gets bigger. He said he was not concerned at all and to try not to worry about it. He doesn't think it's anything serious. He said if he were my PCP he wouldn't do a thing about it. So it did give me some relief. If it does get bigger then it's a trip to my Dr for further examination I guess. I'm hoping he's right and it will just resolve. Honestly ladies I have not had anxiety like this in ages! 🤦‍♀️ Just sooooo bad 😞

I'm better now and I'm having a cup of decaf green tea! I'm relaxing and not watching news!!

I hope you all are doing ok today, just wanted to pop in to thank you all. I LOVE this group!

Lots of love to all of you!

Trishy 😘❤️

[[ki...]]

Trishy, I’m glad you went to the ER. Sometimes it’s the smartest thing for us to do. Health anxiety is no joke on top of all the anxiety we feel in withdrawal and everything going on in the world. It’s overwhelming. I hope you continue to feel better and better.  :smitten:

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, I’m glad you went to the ER. Sometimes it’s the smartest thing for us to do. Health anxiety is no joke on top of all the anxiety we feel in withdrawal and everything going on in the world. It’s overwhelming. I hope you continue to feel better and better.  :smitten:

Thank you so much kit. So true health anxiety is no joke especially going through wd.

Thank you for the support you're very sweet! 😘❤️

Trishy ❤️