Losing coordination and ability to use muscles

[[se...]]

Skyglider,

 

I am also close to the end of my taper and am wondering the same things.  I am currently down 70% of my original dose and I am still able to work although it can be rough.

 

I also do not get sleepy tired anymore, I long for the days I can feel completely rested.

[[Sk...]]

Seasalt52,

 

The sleep problems really disturb me. Before I started taking that poison for insomnia, I couldn’t sleep, but I was very, very tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open. But now, I never get sleepy because that poison changed neurons in the brain and everywhere else at a fundamental level. The Gaba-A receptors in the neurons down regulate due to the presence of the drug, and get absorbed into the neurons. When you take away the poison, which high enhanced sedation, you find your brain in a state where it cannot relax because the receptors for GABA are few and far between. Now our brains have to reexpress those receptors, which they may or may not do in time. That is why it is said that benzos can irrevocably alter sleep patterns. Not one of those stupid doctors ever mentioned that. I used to sleep like a baby. Now, I am lucky to sleep an hour or two in ten to fifteen minute slices. It is absolute torture.

[[Sk...]]

BTW,

 

I have tapered down to 0.030 mg from 1 mg/day, or down 97% from my original dose. That said, tapering is not getting any easier. In fact, it is getting harder with more horrific symptoms. I hope your taper goes better than mine has thus far.

[[se...]]

Skyglider,

 

That makes so much sense about the sleep pattern.  I typically sleep one to two hours and wake and fall back to sleep for another two.  Then I may get an extra hour if I am lucky.  I too slept like a baby before (as soon as my head hit the pillow).  I am mortified that this could be a problem forever moving forward..

 

I am finding the same,  more intense symptoms as I reduce in my taper.  At the moment I am experiencing some serious inflammation issues, the doctor is testing for Mass Cell and Scleroderma. I am also experiencing crazy dry skin, almost like sandpaper.  I am hoping this is all just withdrawal but it certainly worries me.  I have Hashimoto's disease and with this it is said there are typically other underlying autoimmune issues, so it would not be shocking if I do in fact have them.  If I said this has been a long excruciating journey it would be an understatement. Just hoping to get to the other side of this so I can sort it all out and try to heal my body.

 

I am envious that you have reduced so far.  What is your plan, drop to .01 and jump?

 

Famous last words...."if I had only known"...

[[Sk...]]

Seasalt52,

 

It is irresponsible of those stupid doctors to prescribe that poison for ANYTHING. It affects every aspect of your body and mind, and reeks havoc with your central nervous system. Not one of those idiots ever mentioned that when they prescribed it. Not one. I think everything you are experiencing is due to benzo withdrawal. That would be my guess. Some people were even diagnosed with MS that turned out to be benzo withdrawal. As far as my taper goes, I plan on walking it down to 0.001 mg, and then jump. I simply cannot take the chance and jump from 0.01 mg because my symptoms are already too horrific. I suggest you do the same.

[[se...]]

I completely agree!  Yes, I do plan to do the same.  It has been such a long and tortuous process.  I will never again take a medication that I have not researched completely.

 

Wishing you immediate success and relief!  Keep me posted on your progress.

[[Tr...]]

Just some information Ashtons manual. I'm so sorry you feel so bad, and I hope you feel better soon.

 

A dilemma faced by some people in the process of benzodiazepine withdrawal, or after withdrawal, is what to do if they have intolerable symptoms which do not lessen after many weeks. If they are still taking benzodiazepines, should they increase the dose? If they have already withdrawn, should they reinstate benzodiazepines and start the withdrawal process again? This is a difficult situation which, like all benzodiazepine problems, depends to some degree on the circumstances and the individual, and there are no hard and fast rules.

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal? Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

 

Updosing during withdrawal? Some people hit a "sticky patch" during the course of benzodiazepine withdrawal. In many cases, staying on the same dose for a longer period (not more than a few weeks) before resuming the withdrawal schedule allows them to overcome this obstacle. However, increasing the dose until a longed-for plateau of 'stability' arrives is not a good strategy. The truth is that one never 'stabilises' on a given dose of benzodiazepine. The dose may be stable but withdrawal symptoms are not. It is better to grit one's teeth and continue the withdrawal. True recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

 

Pharmacologically, neither reinstating nor updosing is really rational. If withdrawal symptoms are still present, it means that the GABA/benzodiazepine receptors have not fully recovered (see above). Further benzodiazepines cause further down-regulation, strengthen the dependence, prolong withdrawal, delay recovery and may lead to protracted symptoms. In general, the longer the person remains on benzodiazepines the more difficult it is to withdraw. On the whole, anyone who remained benzodiazepine-free, or has remained on the same dose, for a number of weeks or months would be ill-advised to start again or to increase dosage.

[[Aj...]]

Seasalt52,

 

It is irresponsible of those stupid doctors to prescribe that poison for ANYTHING. It affects every aspect of your body and mind, and reeks havoc with your central nervous system. Not one of those idiots ever mentioned that when they prescribed it. Not one. I think everything you are experiencing is due to benzo withdrawal. That would be my guess. Some people were even diagnosed with MS that turned out to be benzo withdrawal. As far as my taper goes, I plan on walking it down to 0.001 mg, and then jump. I simply cannot take the chance and jump from 0.01 mg because my symptoms are already too horrific. I suggest you do the same.

 

They were the only thing that helped my dystopia and spasticity following spinal injury/surgery.

My prob was stopping them.

[[se...]]

This is all good information, thank you for sharing.

[[al...]]

Seasalt52,

 

It is irresponsible of those stupid doctors to prescribe that poison for ANYTHING. It affects every aspect of your body and mind, and reeks havoc with your central nervous system. Not one of those idiots ever mentioned that when they prescribed it. Not one. I think everything you are experiencing is due to benzo withdrawal. That would be my guess. Some people were even diagnosed with MS that turned out to be benzo withdrawal. As far as my taper goes, I plan on walking it down to 0.001 mg, and then jump. I simply cannot take the chance and jump from 0.01 mg because my symptoms are already too horrific. I suggest you do the same.

 

How many years did u use 2-3mgs daily  before doing ct ? As going so low seems dangerous, since using pills to weight out even 1/th milligram chances are u could been taking filler, thus entire experience resulting in having no benzos and triggering constant WDs.

[[Sk...]]

Alwaysstuck,

 

I rapidly tapered off of 1 mg Clonazepam I was on for three months, then reinstated to 0.35 mg and tried to taper over the last going on nine months. I experienced constant, worsening m, horrific withdrawal symptoms. As far as the taper goes, you need to get a compounding pharmacy to mix up a batch at either 0.1 mg/ml, or 0.01 mg/ml, depending on how low a dose you are on. That way, you can accurately dose it with a 1 ml syringe. I have no problem dosing you the 0.001 mg level with a 0.1 mg/ml concentration. Dry cutting the pills will not work well, as you pointed out already. Hope this helps.

[[al...]]

I don't know this sounds way dragged out taper, even Ashton manual says to adjust taper on case basis, and choosing to continue for another year after 3mo I do believe u were scared after initial WD to continue taking it, thus reinforcing belief you need it constantly, as been there myself over the years as the grip is strong and everything seems to worsen easily yet pill or benzo makes u fine in minutes thus is the grip of addiction we deal with.

 

Have u considered switching to non benzo meds and dropping that tiny mg, or does your symptoms get worse if you think about it ?

 

Also do you feel any improvement now at 8 months in your day to day life being able to function more in terms of physical recovery, as know u say u take 0.03 but that's like mg a month thus getting so far on non active dosage must of allowed you to recover.

 

Since my fear for u is that u seem to be mentally addicted and can not bear thought of letting go that prevents your healing seems main cause for concern, that could backfire, as been through it myself and having some benzo around seems like a lifeline that we can't rid of simply that causes much pain to deal with is as terrible as symptoms themselves, granted I've no experience what's best for u, but Def worth a chat with doc to try alternative options.As been myself of completely nearly 2 months after 10yr constant usage,and it's impossible to not think about every situation as mentally chalenging as brains simply focus on the worst outcome, yet there could be literally no danger which gets exhausting when you simply wish it would just stop is the scariest part for me, that  drains all energy as days pass.

[[Sk...]]

Alwaysstuck,

 

Taking that dose of Clonazepam doesn’t help with my symptoms. But, if I cut too fast they all get worse, much worse. I reinstated to 0.35 mg after rapid taper because I thought doing that and slowly tapering would make the burning skin, dizziness, and insomnia go away, but it didn’t. In time, I got more horrific symptoms like skin insensitivity to light touch over entire body, loss of coordination, muscle weakness and wasting, joint pains, muscle spasms, etc. The list goes on and on. You may be right that I should have not reinstated, and let my cold turkey play out. I really don’t know what would have been best other than never taking any of that rat poison. All I can do now is continue to wean myself off of the last 0.03 mg. I really do not want to take any of it, but I am afraid to jump from this point because even dropping the dose slowly causes me more pain. I will not reinstate to a higher dose, so it’s either another cold turkey from here, or a gradual reduction. I have been dropping fairly quickly percentage wise, as I typically cut 0.02 mg every four days. I want this horrible nightmare to be over as quickly as possible, but I am afraid of long term damage to my central nervous system. Thoughts?

[[Tr...]]

You have written that you get unpleasant reactions at every dose. And that means it affects you in a negative way. So the question is, maybe this little crumb just causes more damage and prolonged recovery? Of course it's very individual, but time can be crucial and not the dose. And Ashton has written; true recovery cannot really start until the drug is out of the system.

 

Why not read "Benzo-free Celebrations." They have written; I am free, free at last, and final dose done! And they are so happy.

 

[[Sk...]]

The problem is that 0.03 mg if Clonazepam is equivalent to 0.6 mg of Valium, which is not really a small dose. Ashton recommends jumping at 0.5 mg of Valium, but acknowledges that for some people even small changes in dose cause intense suffering. I agree that true healing cannot start till one is completely off the poison, and I am headed in that direction as quickly as possible.

[[Tr...]]

I'm following your journey, and we're all in the same horrible situation. So we understand, this is tough. 

[[Sk...]]

Translator 200,

 

I read some of your thread, and am sorry you had to go through so much suffering. How would you rate your recovery at this point in time? I am amazed at all the damage benzos do to our central nervous system. It is truly horrifying.

[[al...]]

Skyglider

 

 

Best if luck to you whatever way you pick,just read all of your posts and seeing you working through this, and literally u we're gliding before didn't realize what kind of terror ur going through as its hard enough to keep the head straight nevermind to keep the job, as know symptoms and feel em myself so while it's easy to say I can live with em but yeah sometimes this shit gets to tough to go trough, anyhow wish u full recovery and definitely don't give up, as I can get a hard ass while online seeing other people but at the end of day we try to cope with this best we can,and think when we suffer it's hard to imagine what others might go trough just from their posts, as when it comes to benzos and anxiety theres no difference if one been on em years or months as seems everyone gets a taste of all of them, so aside talking here and time there's not much else we can do.

[[da...]]

The problem is that 0.03 mg if Clonazepam is equivalent to 0.6 mg of Valium, which is not really a small dose.

 

Stay strong and keep on going. You are almost at 0.05mg. At some point, you shall have to make a decision to jump. You could also decide to go down to 0.01mg. There is a strong psychological component as well i.e. if you are cutting and expecting it to hurt, then there is a very good chance that it will hurt, in a self-fulfilling kind of way.

 

In any case the 1mg or 0.5mg diazepam per day which you are taking at the end of your schedule is having little effect apart from keeping the dependence going. Do not be tempted to spin out the withdrawal to a ridiculously slow rate towards the end (such as 0.25mg each month). Take the plunge when you reach 0.5mg daily; full recovery cannot begin until you have got off your tablets completely. Some people after completing withdrawal like to carry around a few tablets with them for security "just in case", but find that they rarely if ever use them.

 

You have a very strong will and dedication. You will get through this. 

[[Tr...]]

Alwaysstuck,

 

Taking that dose of Clonazepam doesn’t help with my symptoms. But, if I cut too fast they all get worse, much worse. I reinstated to 0.35 mg after rapid taper because I thought doing that and slowly tapering would make the burning skin, dizziness, and insomnia go away, but it didn’t. In time, I got more horrific symptoms like skin insensitivity to light touch over entire body, loss of coordination, muscle weakness and wasting, joint pains, muscle spasms, etc. The list goes on and on. You may be right that I should have not reinstated, and let my cold turkey play out. I really don’t know what would have been best other than never taking any of that rat poison. All I can do now is continue to wean myself off of the last 0.03 mg. I really do not want to take any of it, but I am afraid to jump from this point because even dropping the dose slowly causes me more pain. I will not reinstate to a higher dose, so it’s either another cold turkey from here, or a gradual reduction. I have been dropping fairly quickly percentage wise, as I typically cut 0.02 mg every four days. I want this horrible nightmare to be over as quickly as possible, but I am afraid of long term damage to my central nervous system. Thoughts?

 

 

You don’t have to worry about this being a CT. This is an abrupt cessation, quit a substance all at once, rather than tapering off it. And you have tapered down for nine months. So maybe a support group can help you? Or ”Withdrawal Support” for moral support and feedback during your benzodiazepine withdrawal (taper). How much time is left? 

 

[[Sk...]]

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I very much appreciate it. I have continued my path forward despite worsening symptoms. I just took a .001 mg step down to 0.027 mg/day. Unfortunately, my dizziness, insomnia, POTS symptoms, etc., all have worsened in time. The only positive news I have to report is that my burning skin isn’t as intense as it once was, however insensitivity to light touch and numbness is still present. I also have a very annoying abdominal muscle spasm on my left side that occurs every time I breath in. It can be quite intense at times, and makes sleep very difficult. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, did it resolve? It really depresses me what this poison has done to my body and mind.

[[da...]]

Skyglider - There is less poison in your body everyday. Congrats on cutting back a bit more. Keep it going. 

[[se...]]

You got this, it can only get better right?

[[Sk...]]

I don’t know anymore. My sleep continues to deteriorate as I reduce the dose, and I am getting more and more dizzy. I am losing coordination throughout my body, and my autonomic dysfunction is getting worse. I truly fear for my future. For the moment, I am still working, but I don’t know for how much longer. Every day and night is pure torture. I feel like I am trapped in a body I no longer recognize, with a mind that no longer functions properly. These poisons should be banned, and prescribing doctors should be better educated as to their horrible dangers. Again, I fear for my future, and do appreciate all the support and encouragement you all have been giving me.

[[se...]]

I have to agree, these drugs should never be prescribed!  I was dizzy and held two weeks, it made a huge difference for me.  There is no doubt your body is reacting to the reductions.

 

Sending virtual hugs, hang in there..