Losing coordination and ability to use muscles

[[Aj...]]

I was fine on the diazepam. It helped. I had no problems on the same dose for 20 years.

[[Sk...]]

Yes, the problem becomes visible when you try to come off those drugs. Your nervous system rewires itself due to the presence of the drug in order to try to achieve homeostasis. It was the same for me. I took it for insomnia, but it didn’t help much with that for me. So, I decided to get off of it and did a rapid taper. The night that i went to zero, I didn’t get any sleep and when I got up, I was dizzy and my skin was burning. I was taking 1 mg, but then reinstated at 0.35 mg. My symptoms never got better and only got worse in time. That was ten months ago, and I am still not off of it. Sometimes I think I would have been better off if I didn’t reinstate because my life has become a living hell. No doctor warned me about the dangers of these horrible drugs. If one did, zi never would have taken a single pill.

[[Aj...]]

Yes. The only thing you can do once sensitised is get off and give it some time I think.

[[Be...]]

Ajusta, do you think all of this is caused by benzo damage?

[[Aj...]]

It is impossible to know that.

I know what I did and didn’t have before withdrawal.

I know other ppl who have similar stuff in withdrawal who had no previous illnesses.

I know ppl who have been diagnosed with new illness like small fibre neuropathy etc that they didn’t have before WD. I know ppl who have lots of odd blood and other tests during WD that later revert to normal.

 

[[Aj...]]

Love it that you have to have a go even when I say most p will not have it.

Are you still thinking all your stuff is WD even though have ire-existing ME/CFS and spinal probs?

[[Sk...]]

As I continue to cut my dose, which is now at 0.014 mg/day, I get more and more horrific symptoms. My hands feel like bags of broken glass and pins and needles all the time now. In addition, I am losing coordination throughout my body, especially in my hands. My dizziness is off the charts and I get very little sleep. My skin is numb to light touch, and now even pain sensitivity is greatly diminished. It also has pins and needles sensations and burns a lot of the time. My left abdominal muscle is always tense and spasms when I inhale. At night I get severe abdominal spasms in addition to constant random muscle spasms throughout my body. My muscles are wasting and I can’t exercise because I developed POTS where my heart rate sometimes doubles when I stand up. I have about twenty other horrible withdrawal symptoms as well. Has anyone else experienced this nightmare and recovered from it? I am really depressed and feel that my life is already over. My autonomic nervous system, sensory nervous system, and motor nervous system have all been damaged by Clonazepam. How can I recover from the damage?

[[se...]]

Skyglider,

 

I am so sorry to hear of this!  The symptoms you have described sound very much like B22 deficiency.  It would not hurt to get some blood work to rule it out.  In the middle of my taper I had similar symptoms, after reading the causes I asked my doctor to check.  My b12 was so low they wanted me to have injections.  I began taking b22 500 mcg and within a few weeks all of it resolved.

 

Sending big hugs, hang in there!!!

[[Sk...]]

At 0.013 mg/day, and new symptoms are appearing. Yesterday while I was standing, my whole body started shaking uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. Started bad, but eventually stopped. Truly frightening. This morning, my upper lip started to quiver. I really can’t take the nightmare anymore. I am trapped in hell. Has anyone experienced these symptoms? Did you recover? I have no life.

[[Tr...]]

Skyglider. I'm so sorry you feel so bad. Maybe you can search for a member who is basically the same situation? 

[[pr...]]

At 0.013 mg/day, and new symptoms are appearing. Yesterday while I was standing, my whole body started shaking uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. Started bad, but eventually stopped. Truly frightening. This morning, my upper lip started to quiver. I really can’t take the nightmare anymore. I am trapped in hell. Has anyone experienced these symptoms? Did you recover? I have no life.

 

Did you have your B12 tested like Seasalt suggested? I also have that problem with my heart rate sometimes doubling when I stand up. I C/T clonazepam in 2018. The heart rate is much better now and I only have this problem 4 or 5 times a month and sometimes less. I have the most problems because of my adrenal fatigue which I am working on now. When I over do it the fatigue and high heart rate shows up a few days later. I did a little bit of weed eating on Monday and a few other things and it all came crashing down yesterday afternoon. I can till when it is about to happen because my sleep is affected and the internal buzzing and a little head pressure starts up.

 

It will improve over time. Make sure you stay hydrated and not push yourself too hard.

 

PG

[[Sk...]]

A while back I had my blood tested, and was only low in Vitamin D. B12 was fine. I have started taking B12 supplements a couple times a week to see if it helps. Thus far, it hasn’t. I only got an hour of sleep last night. I can’t continue like this much longer.

[[al...]]

How are you doing in general ? How's your social life, diet , physical activity ?

 

I find myself with double pulse, anxiety and panic nowadays often, my teeth feel as they're strength of crisps.

 

Even thou I'm more then 4 months fully off, I've noticed some weeks I'm going down hill, but I've literally no close friends, only outings to store, crap diet, and sleep is choppy as I spend most nights watching telly, then beat tired during days, I mean I still get 8hrs sleep, which drives me to think above is a greater contributor to why I'm so out of whack, but even then I've very little motivation, so feels if I'm trapped sometimes, not saying these exact things could be the cause but in my case I see nothing else.

[[Tr...]]

Skyglider. Bob7 did a very slow dose reduction. Maybe you can read about his journey? Sometimes it can be good to read about someone else if you are trapped by your own thoughts. 

[[Sk...]]

Hi, thanks to both of you for supporting me. I have not been doing well lately. Down to 0.012 mg/day, and symptoms are terrible. I still go to work, but it is difficult with only an hour of sleep. That said, I never get sleepy tired anymore. I just feel terrible day and night. I have friends who do stuff with me, but I don’t enjoy anything anymore. Last Friday at work, my whole body started to shake for 30 minutes. I have nerve pain in my hands, and I am losing ability to use my muscles. The broken, short sleep is killing me. I can’t believe doctors are so f’n stupid and prescribe this poison. It has destroyed my mind and body. I really don’t know if I can continue doing this without losing everything. I am very depressed.

[[da...]]

Skyglider, you are on a very low dosage. How do you feel about jumping?

[[Sk...]]

I am afraid to jump at this point. Every time I make a small 0.001 mg cut, I get hit by more horrible symptoms. Also, my sleep had deteriorated badly to the point where I only get an hour or two per night. I am losing muscle and my ability to use my muscles. I am afraid I will soon lose my ability to walk. I can’t feel light touch on my skin over my entire body, and many parts are numb. My hands feel like bags of pins and needles, and I have a lot of nerve pain. These are but a few of my horrific symptoms. I am afraid of what is to come. I am very afraid. Thoughts? When you jumped, did things get better or worse? Are you getting better?

[[se...]]

You are experiencing the lack of drug in your system, you are healing!  I know it is miserable (I am on my last week of taper at .006).  I am having the worst symptoms ever.  The good news, it will only get better as time goes on.

 

You are probably getting nothing from this small dose and are feeling the effects of not having a dose high enough to make a difference.  Do what feels best, I opted to keep my night dose for an extra week and will be done on Sunday.

 

You’ve got this, you are healing!!!

[[Tr...]]

Skyglider. I have read that it is time, and not the dose, that is crucial. So maybe this little crumb just prolongs the recovery? But of course you should do what feels best for you, and you feel safe. 

[[da...]]

I am afraid to jump at this point. Every time I make a small 0.001 mg cut,

 

Just curious, if you could take the psychological element out of it by making 2 doses and randomizing them? For e.g. one without a cut and one with a cut, and then shuffling them up so even you don't know.

 

My point: if you don't know that you are cutting dosage, does it still hurt worse or the same?

[[Sk...]]

That is hard to do, because I use a syringe with a liquid titration. I just want the horror to stop! Monday, I started having problems with my balance. I can’t believe the damage these drugs did to me. Do you feel better after jumping in May?

[[Sk...]]

I went for a 2.5 mile walk this afternoon. Half way thru it, the area above my left hip started buzzing like a vibrator. On for a second, off for a second. It is very disturbing. Has anyone else experienced these internal vibrations? Every day it is something new and horrifying. Please advise!

[[da...]]

I went for a 2.5 mile walk this afternoon. Half way thru it, the area above my left hip started buzzing like a vibrator. On for a second, off for a second. It is very disturbing. Has anyone else experienced these internal vibrations? Every day it is something new and horrifying. Please advise!

 

I have had some internal vibrations, fasciculations, and paresthesia during a cold-turkey attempt as well during the withdrawal phase. These can come and go for me, and I view them to be a psychosomatic expression of anxiety (as they move around to different body parts). As one doctor told me: "if it is moving around every other day, then is it real?"

 

I still get them occasionally, but since all body parts work, I just ignore them and keep on with life. I met with a spine specialist (on the concern of foot buzzing on-off), and he basically told me that since everything was working (walking, jumping, hopping, balance, etc), that there was nothing to do.

 

In short, they have really eased up and I did not even notice them for several days until you brought it up here.

 

Also, please do not google "internal vibrations". It will lead you straight to ALS, and I have been there. It is a rabbit hole of hell, but there is way out. Please see: http://www.aboutbfs.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=200

[[da...]]

That is hard to do, because I use a syringe with a liquid titration. I just want the horror to stop! Monday, I started having problems with my balance. I can’t believe the damage these drugs did to me. Do you feel better after jumping in May?

 

Can you prepare two syringes with different strengths and randomize them? Or ask a friend/family to do it?

 

I feel much better after jumping. The underlying anxiety is still there, but I am dealing with it much better (exercise, deep breathing, family, distractions, life, etc).

[[Ps...]]

I also developed POTS and heart rate sometimes doubles when I stand.

 

I've battled with Dysautonomia/POTS for 2 years. I was on beta blockers and benzos (Xanax) for the first 6 months.

Luckily my doctor told me the dangers of Xanax, so I only took it for emergency. So I can't help you with the withdrawal part.

Xanax provided great relief from DYS symptoms. But it ain't gonna heal you. 

 

DYS/POTS by itself is horrendous enough, I can't imagine you're going through withdrawal with POTS.

I was bedridden by DYS/POTS for 6 months. It was pretty bad.

 

But I did eventually ditch the medications and healed myself of POTS all naturally.

 

I did a lot of earthing (3-5 hours per day). Put your barefoot of grass. I really recommend this, try it for a week. I'm very confident you'll see some improvements.

 

I also did a lot of mindfulness meditation (it helped me massively, but I also know it's not for everyone).

I got a lot of natural sunshine (without sunscreen). Never sun burn.

 

Exercising is also really important for POTS recovery.

 

And a positive attitude is vital for your recovery. I can tell by your words you're struggling maintaining a positive attitude.

My first year of POTS, my language was similar to yours. It's hard to be positive when you're suffering, but that is really important to your recovery.

 

Once again, I can't imagine what you're going through. POTS was the most difficult thing I had

gone through in my life, and you have that while going through benzo hell.