Severe mental symptoms, intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety support group

[[le...]]

Think it's because I was never given the chance to discuss things with my Mum, and the deception. You are right about it being perpetuated. My gran always favoured my Mum's younger brother, and my Mum perpetuated the cycle. Did you see the documentary about Ian Wright the footballer, his was physical and emotional abuse, so much of it resonated with me even though mine wasn't physical. A psychiatrist on there said the worst betrayal you can have is from your Mother as her love should be unconditional.

I don't totally blame her due to the meds, just having really bad day today. May not be healthy but I will never forgive my sister as long as I live, I can see  how your Dad's upbringing affected his behaviour but she has no excuse. You are lucky you've been given chance to repair things.

[[le...]]

How is everyone doing? I'm not doing too bad, still consumed with overwhelming hate for how my evil family screwed me over, but a better emotion than feeling hurt and crying all the time. Just get very frustrated nothing I can do as can't afford a lengthy lawsuit. Do feel I'm gradually improving bit but the stress certainly hasn't helped. Have tried counselling in past only helped temporarily until my Mum did something else to hurt me.

[[di...]]

I'm alright leann. It's good that even with the negative emotions, at least you can tell it's better than before. Intense feelings of anger is certainly part of the withdrawal experience for many. It was for me. I had phases, then I would snap out of it. It might be true that you can never forgive your sister but I believe you can get to a point where you can shrug things off more and she won't have any power over your emotions. That seems realistic. It's important that you heal yourself, not all relationships are salvageable. As you point out, I can consider myself lucky that I have a relationship with my dad, even if sometimes he moans about things his father does to him that he doesn't seem to realise he's done the same to me. He's an old dog who's not up for learning new tricks. I've just about come to terms with that. You'll come to terms with how things are, in time.

[[le...]]

Glad you are doing OK. Seem be having rapid cycling of symptoms, emotions at moment. Do feel bit better, as issued a caveat to temporarily stop probate, sent sister e mail providing lit exampLes how my Mum been unduly influenced by her, plus the overmedication etc. Clearly rattled her as for first time had response from her, saying she's sought legal advice will legal etc, ignoring my e mail.. I can't afford to take it to court but hopefully will cause her stress. Was sort of coping with what happened but it's suddenly really affecting me again. Think it's fact my sister & her friend who are executors deliberately excluding me from everything. Maybe it's just withdrawal as literally changes from one day to the next.

[[le...]]

Given up on recovery, the mental symptoms just never go😰😢😪

[[Ha...]]

Don't say that leann, I'm in a bad way too. Can't take much more

[[Be...]]

Given up on recovery, the mental symptoms just never go😰😢😪

 

Me too. But keAnn you have things to hold onto.. you have a husband.  You have a son. It’s going to be ok. You will get through this. I’m in a really brutal wave & can’t see my way out of this:  I think I have Giuardia again which means another course of antibiotics that will set me back. But you have to believe that you will heal. Don’t give up.  You have things to hold onto. You will get through this.

[[le...]]

Just had another spat with sister hasn't helped. She Ordered a DVD and usb sticks of my mothers funeral insisting takes it out of the joint estate costing £200. She's getting £1000 month rent from my mum's house plus house when probate goes through.  I might get £5k  at most. Can't  see me ever improving at this rate. Sorry you two aren't doing well either.

[[le...]]

What's giuardia?

[[Be...]]

What's giuardia?

 

Arghhhhh. Don’t get it. It’s an intestinal parasite. I need strong antibiotics fit it.

[[Be...]]

Just had another spat with sister hasn't helped. She Ordered a DVD and usb sticks of my mothers funeral insisting takes it out of the joint estate costing £200. She's getting £1000 month rent from my mum's house plus house when probate goes through.  I might get £5k  at most. Can't  see me ever improving at this rate. Sorry you two aren't doing well either.

 

LeAnn, can you get someone else to deal with the probate stuff? Can you take this off your plate? Honestly it’s just money.  I know this is a lot fot you. It please look at what you have.  A husband, a son, a home.  Don’t let this drag you down.  Sometimes it’s best to let go & not let it all weigh you down.  With the $5,000 you get - treat yourself to massages, to getting things for yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.  Please don’t let this drag you under. Let go of it. Otherwise it will eat you up..  I have family stuff.  It’s hard & the rejection & non approval I feel is incredibly difficult but at the end of the day it’s how you feel about yourself that counts.. if you accept yourself, if you love yourself.  Then it hurts less.  Do kind things for others, then it hurts less.  You are going to be ok.  But you gotta let go of the family stuff - yes this is easier said than done. But forgiveness is truely the only thing that works.  You can do this.

[[le...]]

It's still so raw as only been 2 months, I know have to eventually let it go, but I've been treated for years like I don't count by my Mother, so not recent thing, builds up over time. Think years on zopiclone probably numbed all the hurt. Not about the money it's lies and secrets. Just too much on top of withdrawal. My friend suffered similar , she said never goes away, just learn to live with it. Rapid cycling of symptoms really hard to deal with. How are things with you anyway?

[[Be...]]

It's still so raw as only been 2 months, I know have to eventually let it go, but I've been treated for years like I don't count by my Mother, so not recent thing, builds up over time. Think years on zopiclone probably numbed all the hurt. Not about the money it's lies and secrets. Just too much on top of withdrawal. My friend suffered similar , she said never goes away, just learn to live with it. Rapid cycling of symptoms really hard to deal with. How are things with you anyway?

 

I totally identify With the mother stuff - trust me I do. My mother can be a wonderful loving & kind person to others but to me there’s just not much there.  I’ve had to let go - otherwise it just eats me up.  Can you shut the mother stuff away until you are more healed? There is no easy answer to mother stuff - especially in WD.

 

I’m literally in hell. I bought a house that hasn’t worked out & im now selling. Now worried about financial stuff & worried I’m not going to be able to work to support myself. I’m literally in hell. But gotta keep going. One foot In front of the other. Keep going LeAnn & focus on what you have.  Your husband, your son, your home. You will be ok, you will heal.

[[le...]]

Sorry about your house any extra stress certainly doesn't help. I know have try get past stuff, my husband devastated by what my Mother has done, he's been in bits as well, so we're not really helping each other as both going through it. But I do appreciate I have him, if I was on my own not sure I would of come through everything. I really love my son but he can't see why I'm upset over it so not lot support.

I see a docu that said worst betrayed is when it's done by a mother as they should love you unconditionally.

Just when I get good day I push myself, then end up paying for it. Just after over 2 years of this really had enough, just want some sort normal life.

Enough moaning I hope you sort things with the house and get some support from friends . Sobbing out with TV now

[[Be...]]

Sorry about your house any extra stress certainly doesn't help. I know have try get past stuff, my husband devastated by what my Mother has done, he's been in bits as well, so we're not really helping each other as both going through it. But I do appreciate I have him, if I was on my own not sure I would of come through everything. I really love my son but he can't see why I'm upset over it so not lot support.

I see a docu that said worst betrayed is when it's done by a mother as they should love you unconditionally.

Just when I get good day I push myself, then end up paying for it. Just after over 2 years of this really had enough, just want some sort normal life.

Enough moaning I hope you sort things with the house and get some support from friends . Sobbing out with TV now

 

I totally get the mother stuff - I do - but you have to forgive - otherwise it’s just going to eat you up & it’s not worth it at all,  it will just eat you up.  You have to let it go.  You have your son - you have your husband.  You have your house.  Focus on that,  you will get back to being healed. You will, xx

[[le...]]

Pretty much given up on recovering anymore than this. Not even depression anymore , more case resigning myself to having restricted life. Think if I was going to recover after 29 months would happened by now. Just never get a window of normality for 1 day.

[[He...]]

leann,

 

I am sorry you're struggling. I know you can't know for certain and what's done is done but do you think being forced to go CT instead of being allowed to taper has contributed to your long wave? I hope that you're wrong about it staying this way and I wish you the many windows in the future to come. I am struggling too. Just with different symptoms. Here's to both of us feeling better soon.

 

HM

[[le...]]

Yes, don't think I would have had all these symptoms if I'd been allowed to taper. Never had any problems when I was on zopiclone. Hope you soon improve.

[[Ba...]]

Do you know if you're damaged by SSRI's  or the benzo?  Imagine hard to know.

I know mirtazapine threw me off a cliff taking it, and then stopping it.  Worst thing ever. 

[[le...]]

Symptoms were milder coming off zop even though I CT. I felt really good on it. Seemed have adverse reaction to the SSRI's and felt ghastly on them, maybe that's why withdrawal felt worse, bit like you with the Mirtzapine. I do wonder would I be better by now if I hadn't taken them will never know. Think if I could tapered zop would been different story. When did you take Mirtzapine?

[[Ba...]]

4.5 years ago.  Been not ok since.

[[le...]]

Not sleeping well at moment here either, weather unbearably hot, as our houses built to conserve heat like an oven, seems rack up symptoms. Never quite understood why gp's seem think throwing more meds at you is always the answer?

[[Ha...]]

I had it again just yesterday. Had to have an assessment with a shrink. Said he could heal me in 4 months with another AD.... Really?

[[Ha...]]

Intrusive thoughts are bad.... Don't know how much more I can take

[[le...]]

I'm with you on that one, it's the rapid cycling I'm finding hard. Least weather cooler here so I did sleep last night. I think mental symptoms are the worst, I could cope with the physical symptoms. Hope you soon improve.