Severe mental symptoms, intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety support group

[[Ba...]]

I was at a subject site and forgot where when I realized this never posted.  I hope it gets to who asked the question of what caused my setbacks.

 

First setback - I bounced right back into life not knowing anything about setbacks so I'm guessing stress and out to eat - not always eating pure - having a cocktail out with friends - lasted 4 1/2 months

 

Second setback - My daughter moved out of state with my 2 young grandchildren and had only lived 5 minutes and possible internal nose cream antibiotic - lasted 3 months

 

Third setback - I think because I supplemented with 5HTP and Vitamin D - lasted 7 months - WORST!!

 

Fourth setback - I started Naturethroid - lasted 11 months - HORRIBLE!!  ALL SYMPTOMS!!

 

Current Fifth setback - I think COVID stress/isolation, antibiotic nose cream and Vitamin D with K supplement - 3 1/2 months so far and this is the absolute worst EVER!!!! 

 

In between when I am healed, I don't consciously think that I am going to have a setback.  This time around I feel so differently.  I am so scared to death that I won't heal!!  And if I do heal, I am totally going to take care of myself like I am still healing.

 

Never, are you saying you took a natural thyroid product and you were worse than on the synthetic one?  My Dr. is suggesting adding t3 to my Synthroid,  or go with Armour thyroid as am so depressed and all the thyroid symptoms...  but of course they can be wd/ damage symptoms as well.  Anyhow, wondered about your naturothroid setback.

 

Thank you.

[[Ha...]]

Bit of stress travelling today. Intrusive thoughts were terrible, it's definitely true that stress is to be avoided

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

I know too well this kind of symptoms, as I have them. They appeared while I was withdrawing from mirtazapine, and those symptoms drove me to take Ativan (and sadly became hooked on it). Now that I try to taper lorazepam, they are out of control.

But, I know it is temporary.

Last year, when they appeared for the first time, I stabilize on my mirtazapine dose and after few months, they disappeared.

They came back when I tried to resume my mirtazapine taper.

If you want to have a positive testimonial about this kind of symptoms, you can go on « SurvivingAntidepressant » and read the  Success story of  « Ten0275 ». It is very encouraging.

[[Ne...]]

I was at a subject site and forgot where when I realized this never posted.  I hope it gets to who asked the question of what caused my setbacks.

 

First setback - I bounced right back into life not knowing anything about setbacks so I'm guessing stress and out to eat - not always eating pure - having a cocktail out with friends - lasted 4 1/2 months

 

Second setback - My daughter moved out of state with my 2 young grandchildren and had only lived 5 minutes and possible internal nose cream antibiotic - lasted 3 months

 

Third setback - I think because I supplemented with 5HTP and Vitamin D - lasted 7 months - WORST!!

 

Fourth setback - I started Naturethroid - lasted 11 months - HORRIBLE!!  ALL SYMPTOMS!!

 

Current Fifth setback - I think COVID stress/isolation, antibiotic nose cream and Vitamin D with K supplement - 3 1/2 months so far and this is the absolute worst EVER!!!! 

 

In between when I am healed, I don't consciously think that I am going to have a setback.  This time around I feel so differently.  I am so scared to death that I won't heal!!  And if I do heal, I am totally going to take care of myself like I am still healing.

 

Never, are you saying you took a natural thyroid product and you were worse than on the synthetic one?  My Dr. is suggesting adding t3 to my Synthroid,  or go with Armour thyroid as am so depressed and all the thyroid symptoms...  but of course they can be wd/ damage symptoms as well.  Anyhow, wondered about your naturothroid setback.

 

It was the first time ever that I was given a thyroid med.  My weakness had never gone away from the benzo damage, and I was hopeful it was a thyroid issue.  NOT!  I'm going into my 4th month of severe mental torture and 15 other debilitating symptoms setback which I believe definitely is due to the new thyroid prescription and Vitamin D + K supplement.   

 

Thank you.

[[se...]]

I find that symptoms go between physical and mental, I think this is pretty common for most.  Just when you think you cant take another moment of the joint pain it subsides and then the anxious/obsessive/depression side decides it wants in on the fun.  Roller coaster ride...I just want off already.

 

I also find that any "trigger" sets off the mental stuff.  It is best to try to avoid that as much as possible, but I am sure you are all aware of that at this point.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Never Me,

 

Could you explain how your setbacks are manifesting ? is it only mental and anxiety or do you have other withdrawal symptoms like pain, nausea...

 

 

xx

[[le...]]

My symptoms are mainly mental but I've found they can actually give you physical symptoms as a side effect as well  Constantly feel exhausted almost flu like at times, seem to wake up with a headache most mornings and sometimes nausea.. So I think anxiety and any sort of stress can give you both physical and mental symptoms.

[[Ha...]]

Yeah totally Leann, it's well documented that depression and anxiety cause physical symptoms. Oh what fun...

 

Had an awful day again yesterday, it's like my brain is trying to balance out. Really dizzy and the mental stuff that came with it was horrendous. Ended up having a beer out of desperation and it helped a little, and no major payback today which is a relief.

 

How are you getting on?

 

[[le...]]

Up and down, gradually getting over family knifing me in the back. A lot people seem to have real improvement at  2 and half years off so hoping that will be the case and this year will be a turning point. Been trying Omega 3 but think it's racked up symptoms, but was worth trying, nothing ventured nothing gained!

[[Ha...]]

Up and down, gradually getting over family knifing me in the back. A lot people seem to have real improvement at  2 and half years off so hoping that will be the case and this year will be a turning point. Been trying Omega 3 but think it's racked up symptoms, but was worth trying, nothing ventured nothing gained!

 

Was worth trying. Pretty safe supplement. Hope you see some improvements soon xx

[[le...]]

I just seem sensitive to most supplements, but as you say worth trying. Luckily I am able to take unisom to help with sleep. Hope you soon improve too!

[[le...]]

Felt quite jittery today for no apparent reason, just found out there is new super moon tonight. My friend's son has borderline personality disorder and he's just posted on fb he's having a blip at moment. Just wondered if anyone else found the new moon affected them. As there is quite a lot of evidence that it can affect your mental health?

[[Ne...]]

Hi Never Me,

 

Could you explain how your setbacks are manifesting ? is it only mental and anxiety or do you have other withdrawal symptoms like pain, nausea...

 

24/7 DEBILITATING CURRENT BENZO SETBACK SYMPTOMS

1) HORRIFIC MENTAL TORTURE – intrusive, scary, unnatural thoughts out of my control – every thought is unfiltered and intensified and haunting intrusiveness.

2) EXTREME and OVERWHELMING and PAINFUL gut-wrenching sick-to-my-stomach grieving crying jags. Not normal crying at all. No release after crying.

3) SEVERE PHYSICAL PAIN – upper & middle back feels like a diesel truck is on top of me – arms feel like they are full of cement and legs feel like they are full of cement.

4) EXTREME, PAINFUL constant weakness – I grunt and moan when doing simple tasks…emptying dishwasher, taking a shower.

5) Constant, queasy, upset, painful and churning stomach flu-like feeling…hits hard early in the morning with loose stools…I have to force eat…just the thought of food makes me nauseous

6) Constant shakiness inside my body – you physically cannot see me shaking – it is internal and NEVER goes away – feel very unrelaxed and unsettled ALWAYS.

7) Can’t watch the news or hear of anything bad happening – it triggers me like it is happening to me and makes me feel emotionally worse and unstable.

Can’t feel joy or pleasure EVER!  Anhedonia – Never knew this name until experiencing setbacks.

9) Hypersensitive to temperature – both heat and cold.

SEVERELY Hypersensitive to smells – makes me nauseous

SEVERELY Hypersensitive to sound – just people talking near me over stimulates and certain sounds/voices on TV

Hypersensitive to clothing on my body – texture or tight

*Severe, loud tinnitus

*When I frequently wake up through the night and I doze back, intrusive thoughts wake me up every ½ hour

*When I hear people laugh, it triggers me feeling worse

I’m just existing in a hollow shell of a body

 

I'm 4 months into this setback.  I don't know if this has contributed, but I just saw I had a fluoride treatment on my teeth just one week before my setback started.  Other than that I believe Vitamin D with K and a nose cream antibiotic.

 

[[le...]]

Just wondered how everyone doing? Think I'll give up trying supplements I seem too sensitive to them. Luckily I find unisom is OK if I have problems sleeping.

[[Ca...]]

Never Me , im sorry you are suffering so much after such a long time....

 

 

Leann: after having a quite a good week and 3 days without anxiety or worries, I again had an horrendous night worrying non stop. Slept 2 hours . And the next day is filled with the worst anxiety ever , I dont know how to survive this anymore . And it is only 1PM....this pattern is repeating every 10 days when something triggers my nervous system and my worries.

 

Each time I want to take a rescue dose during those days (did it only last time)

 

it's awful

 

:'( :'( :'(

[[le...]]

I had horrendous time with toxic family recently really wanted to take some zopiclone as couldn't sleep. Haven't been too bad this week. Think some of us unfortunately take while to improve. Does wax and wane not always dreadful. Lot people seem improve lot at the 2 and half year mark so hoping things will soon improve.

 

[[Ca...]]

I don't know how you survived a ct after 12 years of use.

 

Consider yourself like a survivor.

 

You will improve. You have to believe to make it a reality...I know it is not easy because im doing quite the opposite always.

 

Did you try the diet for OCD ?

[[le...]]

Didn't have much choice with CT as GP refused give me any. Was on really low dose probably helped and it gradually got worse as time went on. Not heard OCD diet, what does that involve?

[[le...]]

Bump

[[di...]]

Hey leann,

 

Hope you're OK and your pesky family aren't invading your thoughts too much today. Are you looking forward to being able to do more, in the better weather that is hopefully coming? This winter has sucked badly but at least now there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[[le...]]

I'm not too bad , been coping bit better recently. Issued a caveat to temporarily stop sister getting probate. Solicitor I contacted on line thinks was def undue influence put on my Mum.She was on 10 dif meds including mirtazapine which causes confusion in elderly. Not going as far as court as solicitor said often not what actually happened but proving it is problem.but hopefully wil stress sister out. Will take quite while to come to terms with having such evil family but getting there.

[[Aj...]]

I have constant looping compulsion to eat every waking second.

Can’t control it.

Gaining weight very fast.

[[di...]]

I'm glad you said you're getting there leann. There's a hint of optimism there which I'm not sure you would have had in the past. Family presents a big challenge to our emotional wellbeing... even nice family members do that. We're related by blood, can't help it. 

 

Awful that some circles see fit to prescribe 10 medications to an old woman. It's difficult to fathom how that could be necessary. I am sure the way she has treated you still sting but at least you can kinda see (due to your own experience) that perhaps it wasn't all her and instead the meds warped some of her thoughts.

 

I am not sure it's good for you to hope your sister is stressed out. Maybe it sounds like justice but I believe that when we wish bad on others, we hurt ourselves too. Can't prove that, it's just a belief I live by and thought I'd share. I'm not judging, just saying maybe it's not the best thing for heart and soul?

 

Hope you're alright today. The rain is absolutely belting down here!

[[le...]]

Sorry may not be the right thing but really wish something bad happens to my sister. I have softened towards my Mum, lot of her actions point towards someone not totally mentally competent, very open to being persuaded.Just feel so frustrated the law lets her get away with it because undue influence is so hard to prove. My Mum constantly said she wanted to kill herself , so think they just kept her doped up. Just feel life got it in for me like final nail in the coffin, metaphorically speaking not literally!

[[di...]]

I can understand those feelings a bit better than I wish. I used to think "I don't wish my dad harm but I don't know how I don't with everything he's done" and I couldn't help thinking life would be easier for some people if he would be out of the picture. I never wished harm but they were dark thoughts that aren't typical of me.

 

I have softened on my dad for a number of reasons, not least because his dad (my grandad) is emotionally abusive towards him and he can't handle it. Maybe I said that already to you? I feel like I may have mentioned it cos I'm getting deja vu. I learned that when my dad tried to do the right thing and make amends because he didn't want him to pass while they were not speaking and blood is thicker than water... and it's just the right thing to do... my grandad coldly told him that he doesn't think he's his biological son. Thing is, grandad never knew his mother and had a horrible father himself. Grandad's been on Zopiclone for years and that's a factor too. So it's like, I'm getting better and now my dad really can't hurt me in the same way as before. And I can see that he's hurting a lot because I've never seen him cry until recently.

 

I see all of the pain and suffering and while I can't excuse aggressive and emotionally manipulative behaviour, I feel a responsibility not to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. I choose love over hate because somehow I have the luxury of choosing. There's a lot of damage that has already happened but I'm alive and somehow happy despite the things I told you about. I don't quite understand how people can behave in a certain way but I know that trauma plays a big part in it. Some of us can handle it better than others. I won't be trampled on again but I'm not going to be part of the problem and I can't walk away. I love my family.