No Longer Believe in Full Healing

[[Wi...]]

Marigold, Patriot -- fantastic posts! Thanks much, I'm bookmarking. This is really helping me get through.

 

(Marigold, if you'd ever consider supplementing your income one day by counselling people in withdrawal, I think you'd be very good at it. And lord knows, it's needed....)

[[Bw...]]

Yes you can. I’ve seen in it group plenty of times. I’ve spent a ton of time in out patient groups. I’ve seen people make huge improvements with therapy especially exposure therapy in this situations

Like anything involving the brain it needs to be retrained. If you isolate yourself, stay indoors, consistently read the internet especially peoples horror stories, you aren’t gonna to find enjoyment in activities.

Why is any post here that isn’t “keep going, it will all get better, maybe 8 years but it will” considered bad?

[[bo...]]

Yes you can. I’ve seen in it group plenty of times. I’ve spent a ton of time in out patient groups. I’ve seen people make huge improvements with therapy especially exposure therapy in this situations

Like anything involving the brain it needs to be retrained. If you isolate yourself, stay indoors, consistently read the internet especially peoples horror stories, you aren’t gonna to find enjoyment in activities.

Why is any post here that isn’t “keep going, it will all get better, maybe 8 years but it will” considered bad?

 

You don't know squat about my situation. That's the issue here. Exposure therapy? I'm not scared of anything. I don't isolate myself nor do I stay indoors. I work, even during this pandemic, I'm still working half days. I write music and released an album during this. I try my hardest not to spend time sitting in these groups all day. I play the distraction game all day, every day. The fact that I still feel completely crazy all day, every day, even when distracting myself is the issue. So have a doctor throw some more pills at it? I just don't know if that's the answer here.

 

I want to point out that during the past two years, I've worked with five therapists. I've found no value in it so far. I like the guy I'm working with now, but when I leave a session, I feel completely empty almost immediately. All it is is a distraction for an hour, and a highly priced one.

[[Te...]]

Boom,

 

        Dr. Ashton studied and documented at least 50 people who were long term users of Benzo's and suffered protracted withdraw symptoms from 10 months to 3 1/2 years.  I have to constantly go back and study and look at these folks and her results to see that benzo's really do cause protracted injury to our mental and physical bodies, that it does take up to 3 1/2 years to begin to feel good and/or really good (living a normal life, feeling well etc.... whatever normal is), and that you can feel all sorts of symptoms up to and until 3 1/2 years and possibly even a little longer and that includes anger.  I get the anger/rage in so much as I have begun to experience some of it.  It sometimes begins as restlessness and quickly turns into anger/rage.  For me I believe it's a combination of my body still adjusting to not having 2mg of K a day that I gave it for 10 years, learning to cope with life without numbing out and thus developing new coping strategies, and dealing with feelings (which I've never really dealt with).  The therapy helps a little, a supplement (magnesium helps with muscle twitches) helps a little, BB helps, walks & exercise help a little, faking my mood during a wave helps a little etc...... all to say that nothing helps that much but all together it does make a small dent in the day.  If I look at healing in increments of 2 months then I do see small improvement but as an impatient man not nearly fast enough.  I have to remind myself that it took me 10 years to get to this point and it's going to take whatever it takes to get me as close to where I was before.  Obviously not exactly where I was due to being in different life circumstances, being 10 years older, now having 3 children, and many other differences.  I think from what you've described, you are getting better but just very slowly and most of those things your doing do help but not as much as we want.  I understand the way you feel and normally am not able to do this, but I'm having a few good days and when I'm amongst good days I see a lot clearer and often have some hope and thus am able to write like this.  So based on BB testimonies, Dr. Ashton's studies of protracted injuries, and general science in regards to what we know about our brains and how Benzo's affect them, I'd say your right where your supposed to be and don't expect to feel decent until 3 1/2 years.  Until that point, know that your God is allowing you to be alive and experience these feelings and symptoms all while enabling you to write and play music and work (not too bad even if we are angry and often feel shitty).  By the way your music is pretty damn good.

[[Sk...]]

My godness Boom, don't you have a blog here to vent ?

You can't post a new topic with the same anger problem again and again and again, it's not helping anyone and adds a lot of negativity here 

 

At first I saw the title and was really scared about reading it, but opened it anyway. Then I saw you were the poster and I thought "ah nevermind, it's Boom... again...". I'm not saying this to make you upset, but I don't feel at ease reading the TONS of messages you posted each time something happened in your life 

 

Of course I can just stop reading these, just wanted to say that it doesn't sound fair to all of us to occupy this place with so much negativity... Moreover resulting in you brushing under the carpet advises by saying "you don't know my situation".

 

Trust us, you post so much we know your situation. We are all compassionate with you but you don't listen and you act like a child who wants answers HERE and NOW that we can't even give you, except reassurance you already had multiple times. Think about other people here please...

 

BTW the texts you posted about PSSD throw me into an anxiety attack. Some consideration toward other BB sensitivity would be really welcomed, as far as I'm concerned...

[[Wi...]]

Boom,

 

        Dr. Ashton studied and documented at least 50 people who were long term users of Benzo's and suffered protracted withdraw symptoms from 10 months to 3 1/2 years.  I have to constantly go back and study and look at these folks and her results to see that benzo's really do cause protracted injury to our mental and physical bodies, that it does take up to 3 1/2 years to begin to feel good and/or really good (living a normal life, feeling well etc.... whatever normal is), and that you can feel all sorts of symptoms up to and until 3 1/2 years and possibly even a little longer and that includes anger.  I get the anger/rage in so much as I have begun to experience some of it.  It sometimes begins as restlessness and quickly turns into anger/rage.  For me I believe it's a combination of my body still adjusting to not having 2mg of K a day that I gave it for 10 years, learning to cope with life without numbing out and thus developing new coping strategies, and dealing with feelings (which I've never really dealt with).  The therapy helps a little, a supplement (magnesium helps with muscle twitches) helps a little, BB helps, walks & exercise help a little, faking my mood during a wave helps a little etc...... all to say that nothing helps that much but all together it does make a small dent in the day.  If I look at healing in increments of 2 months then I do see small improvement but as an impatient man not nearly fast enough.  I have to remind myself that it took me 10 years to get to this point and it's going to take whatever it takes to get me as close to where I was before.  Obviously not exactly where I was due to being in different life circumstances, being 10 years older, now having 3 children, and many other differences.  I think from what you've described, you are getting better but just very slowly and most of those things your doing do help but not as much as we want.  I understand the way you feel and normally am not able to do this, but I'm having a few good days and when I'm amongst good days I see a lot clearer and often have some hope and thus am able to write like this.  So based on BB testimonies, Dr. Ashton's studies of protracted injuries, and general science in regards to what we know about our brains and how Benzo's affect them, I'd say your right where your supposed to be and don't expect to feel decent until 3 1/2 years.  Until that point, know that your God is allowing you to be alive and experience these feelings and symptoms all while enabling you to write and play music and work (not too bad even if we are angry and often feel shitty).  By the way your music is pretty damn good.

 

Excellent post. Thank you!

[[Bw...]]

Please lock this thread and delete it!  This is abusive and unfortunately not helping anyone!  This is not a suffering contest!

 

What part is abuse? People who read this thread need to know there is stuff out there that can help.

I have never once told the OP what there exact problem was. It was a discussion on the topic not directed at anyone or their situation. People just aren’t reading or understanding.

As I’ve mentioned, I listened to this board and was a huge mistake for me personally. Everyone’s situation is different but people should know not everything is benzo related. That’s not abuse nor directed at anyone it’s just reality. I found what my underlying problem was thanks to DNA testing and a bad incident with medication. Through that, therapy and research I’ve learned a ton and sharing that information can be helpful.

 

[[Ch...]]

There’s no need to lock the thread.

 

People are entitled to vent and express their opinions as long as the tone is relatively civil.  Discussions get heated...that’s okay, too, as long as name-calling and insults aren’t thrown around. 

 

If the thread bothers you...don’t click on it. 

[[Il...]]

Not every symptom is a benzo symptom.  Not every struggle is related to benzo use.  People do heal.  Some rather quickly.  Some take longer.  Remember that we have no idea what other circumstances are happening in a person’s life.  There are so many health issues and allergies and ways people cope.  It’s impossible to say no one can heal.  We all need hope.  Hope is a choice.  Mind set  is the key to recovery.  I feel for everyone here who expresses no hope.  I know you’re saying your struggle is painful.  We can’t compare pain.  I ask you to look for ways you feel better, however small.  Every day.  And share that, too.  This is my 3rd taper.  I’m feeling good at a very low dose.  I’m well on my way to full recovery.

 

This x100000

 

One thing people need to understand is what anxiety is. People have anxiety and panic issues with out ever taking a benzo. For someone two years off and struggling with anxiety symptoms needs to treat that. Even if the receptors needed time to heal they very well likely have and some people don’t know because they are so locked in on not feel 100% they think they still aren’t healed. They replay a bunch of negative things in their minds, the mind ends up on a negative feedback loop and they remain this way until it’s recognized. If you don’t want meds that is totally fine but get a therapist, neurofeedback, yoga, meditation, diet. Get out of the house, keep your mind busy, etc.

if you aren’t doing these things then your never gonna feel like your healed. You don’t wake up and feel 16 again. That’s not how it works.

 

Very good posts. Very wise and important message for those silently

reading. Thank you.

Certainly, 4-5mg taken over a couple of mths surely warrants some thoughtful reflection.

I wish everyone well and good health during these troubled times.

[[Wi...]]

I felt the exact same way at 3 years and thought this damage was permanent. Ive had a significant break through this past week where depression has lifted and joy has returned. I know nothing I can say will convince you though. This is a journey meant only for you to experience and time is the only healer. I am convinced you will experience joy again and return back to the person you were before but even better having gone thru this tortureFest. Good luck and keep getting days behind you and hold on to as much hope as you can.

[Guest [Pa...]]

Willow. I'll say it once more. The anhedonia we experience/have experienced from benzo withdrawal isnt a condition created by behavior. It's chemical. Not being able to feel emotions isnt something you have control of. Not being able to cry isn't something that you can fix with therapy. There have been changes that took place in the brain as a result of benzo use. Not everyone experiences this. Be greatful

 

[[Ma...]]

boomboomboxy,

 

has it helped to use your punching bag? (do I remember correctly, I thought you wanted to buy one... )

 

Hasn't helped at all. Nothing helps when in a wave or feeling bad.

 

I think its difficult to find relief when you are in a wave. In a wave all you can do is hold on and do things no matter what. People cope differently as they experience withdrawal differently. The only thing I can say to make it easier for you, is that I could not believe it would become better .. for a very long time. December last year was a game changer for me, it was like a knot has disappeared suddenly and the door opened much wider. But that was in my 4th year off, so it just takes time. I know a lot of so called protracted members who needed more time to get a foot back on the ground, but it did happen.

Sometimes it has to be a wish we hold on to, and nothing more can be done..

Marigold, good for you! did that change just occur over night? You just woke up and suddenly felt completely different? Did you feel it coming at all prior to it taking place? I keep hoping for this miracle to just wake up one day and here it is, oh would be so wonderful)

 

Are you kidding? I kind of feel offended, really. Yeah, just happened, I  just lay around on the couch for about 10 years and then bam! healed.

NOT.

 

I have worked my ass off the last 10 years to feel better. I did so much research, tried and re-tried tons of strategies, fell on my nose 1002 times, had setbacks, tried again, I adjusted my diet, my supplements regime, I changed my life style several times, I practiced acceptance, I exercised, then I had a setback, I... EVERYTHING.  The only thing I know for sure which has NEVER failed was the attitude I developed, like every kind of life is worth to live it and its up to me to make the best out of it. I could easily have become a long term victim because of the things I had experienced in my hole life, even before benzos. It always had to hurt and threat my existence - and then I could find something out which was essential for me to hold on and I could work with it. Like "I am totally alone". Okey, then. Then I can put all of my energy in myself. Or "I am disabled, bed ridden" okey, lots of time to use my mind and think about a future life, no matter if I get it or not. Don't get me wrong I am not at all enlightened I think I had to learn the hard way each time it made that "klick" in my mind. I just found out that all statements I made when I suffered the most, were true. And then it was up to me, if I wanted to suffer or work with it. And I had to work very hard, I still do. Making baby steps means training, and as everyone knows babies fall on the nose quite often. They have to find out how to find balance, listen to the body and try again and again. Thats what I did.

[[Aj...]]

Pariot88 and Marigold.

 

Can I ask if you had severe muscle problems that meant you were not able to find d a bearable position to lie or sit in etc?

 

If so how did you cope and find a way to improve that.

 

I am trying everything but it all just gets worse and worse as get lower again.

[[Ma...]]

The chemical aspect is just one point. I believe that withdrawal shows us our weak spot and plays with it.

And at the beginning we dont know better and fight against it because we just do not want to deal with our weak spot and we do not want to surrender.

 

In order not so sound like a saint, I will share my own embarrassing and lovely story about my triggers:

 

For me it was my fear of having no one to help me. To be helpless, without any protection.

My first reaction was to yell: "Help me! Help me! why does no one help me!" And then even louder: "I neeeeeeed heeeeeeeeeelp!!!" and if people did not react the way I wanted them: "How can you NOT help me? How can you dare to not help me" and in the end: "I will die! I will die for sure"....

this was MY spiral. It was horrible because I really felt like my PTSD, my panic and the depression would make me spring from the next bridge. The result was clear: As a result of my behavior I managed to send people far far away from me - which for me, was the proof that I was totally helpful. Cycle completed.

 

After having been at that point for a million times, I realized I was totally right and no one could help me actually. The first moment of truth.

I also found out that I wanted to be helped MORE than to be dead. This was interesting.

But I still was not able to take responsibility, and I am writing "not able" instead of "not willing" on purpose..

So my next reaction was to think: If no one helps you, no one loves you ... and so the next horrible cycle was created, and I was blaming people who did not react the way I liked it that they did not truly love me.

 

So finally... I reached the point when I had to think that  "no one loved me" and "no one would help me".

The lowest point.

THIS was the point I decided out of pure stubbornity to fucking love myself because I thought I was great. Of course I did not love myself, because I felt miserable and no one loved me (I thought) and I would die anyway because of withdrawal (I thought) and the world was a place of hell (I thought).

 

And thats how my journey to healing started. Because I had to find out, if I want to love myself truly, I HAVE to find something about me I actually love. So I practiced, took notes, and started a relationship with myself and somehow my heart became more soft instead of harsh and I could change the way I looked on my body and my self.

 

Took me years, of course. But everyone who truly loves someone knows, its not only the feeling, you have to DO something for the one, you love. Imagine you love yourself in withdrawal. What can you do right now?

 

NOW I can see, that I needed all these horrible cycles, to find myself and to make true decisions for my life. Today I love myself more than others without being an egoist.. - and I am able to stabilize myself and help and care for myself. Because of that I did not need any medication or therapy or helpline any more. And overall I feel happy each day. (And I still have symptoms, by the way). Even in times of fear, surgery, financial struggles, death..

 

 

[[Bw...]]

Willow. I'll say it once more. The anhedonia we experience/have experienced from benzo withdrawal isnt a condition created by behavior. It's chemical. Not being able to feel emotions isnt something you have control of. Not being able to cry isn't something that you can fix with therapy. There have been changes that took place in the brain as a result of benzo use. Not everyone experiences this. Be greatful

 

Choosing to only believe this is incredibly dangerous for most here. I’ve experienced it plenty and well before ever taking a pill.

I see it plenty in others that have never taken a benzo. It’s common among first responders as well. There are plenty of causes behind it and substance abuse is one. Lack of emotion, feeling numb, etc are not unique to those that have taken a benzo. Drug induced, trauma, underlying issues all have similar make up in chemistry behind it.  The most important thing is that regardless of the cause treatment can help many. Treatments aren’t overnight but healing the brain, quality of life can be better along the way to finding whatever peace of mind someone is striving for.

I mentioned exposure therapy because I’ve seen it work. That takes a good therapist and a willing hard working patient to get results. Exposure therapy isn’t about leaving your house, it’s putting yourself in certain situations that you use to enjoy and using tools provided by a therapist to retrain the brain.

People with head trauma heal can heal but it takes time and therapy like speech therapy. They do this because studies have shown retaining the brain works.

Hypnotherapy has shown great results in many areas from major universities not just some reading cards on the street.

Read success stories or post of numerous others that mentioned they felt so much better when they stopped getting on the internet or they stopped laying around and constantly thinking about benzo damage. That’s no coincidence.

 

I have to say this because I always get the same reply. I am not directing that at any one person or saying all people all the same. It needs to be said because people will get on here and see a thread about not believing in healing and so forth and people treating everything has benzo related and this can be dangerous to many. People should be alerted that there other options that may greatly help and that not everyone or everything is effected by benzos or at least still benzo related. No I don’t know anyone’s situation here but no one does and that is important to remember because believe everything you read on the internet probably not the best idea. If I help one person here with my experience then it’s worth having a honest discussion.

 

 

[[Pt...]]

Yes you can. I’ve seen in it group plenty of times. I’ve spent a ton of time in out patient groups. I’ve seen people make huge improvements with therapy especially exposure therapy in this situations

Like anything involving the brain it needs to be retrained. If you isolate yourself, stay indoors, consistently read the internet especially peoples horror stories, you aren’t gonna to find enjoyment in activities.

Why is any post here that isn’t “keep going, it will all get better, maybe 8 years but it will” considered bad?

 

You don't know squat about my situation. That's the issue here. Exposure therapy? I'm not scared of anything. I don't isolate myself nor do I stay indoors. I work, even during this pandemic, I'm still working half days. I write music and released an album during this. I try my hardest not to spend time sitting in these groups all day. I play the distraction game all day, every day. The fact that I still feel completely crazy all day, every day, even when distracting myself is the issue. So have a doctor throw some more pills at it? I just don't know if that's the answer here.

 

I want to point out that during the past two years, I've worked with five therapists. I've found no value in it so far. I like the guy I'm working with now, but when I leave a session, I feel completely empty almost immediately. All it is is a distraction for an hour, and a highly priced one.

 

I completely feel the same way about my therapy sessions. It’s only distraction for an hour. They don’t help with physical brain symptoms.

[Guest [Pa...]]

With all due respect Willow, you dont know what you're talking about. You're exceptionally stubborn

 

 

[Guest [be...]]

I am just about healed from 15 years use , but I am nowhere near where I used to be as far as lust for life , I feel like a zombie just going through the motions , although this is better than anxiety and panic , I am optimistic that my zest for life will eventually come back . I know 100 % this is chemical and nothing anyone could talk me out of.

[[Ka...]]

boomboomboxy,

 

has it helped to use your punching bag? (do I remember correctly, I thought you wanted to buy one... )

 

Hasn't helped at all. Nothing helps when in a wave or feeling bad.

 

I think its difficult to find relief when you are in a wave. In a wave all you can do is hold on and do things no matter what. People cope differently as they experience withdrawal differently. The only thing I can say to make it easier for you, is that I could not believe it would become better .. for a very long time. December last year was a game changer for me, it was like a knot has disappeared suddenly and the door opened much wider. But that was in my 4th year off, so it just takes time. I know a lot of so called protracted members who needed more time to get a foot back on the ground, but it did happen.

Sometimes it has to be a wish we hold on to, and nothing more can be done..

Marigold, good for you! did that change just occur over night? You just woke up and suddenly felt completely different? Did you feel it coming at all prior to it taking place? I keep hoping for this miracle to just wake up one day and here it is, oh would be so wonderful)

 

Are you kidding? I kind of feel offended, really. Yeah, just happened, I  just lay around on the couch for about 10 years and then bam! healed.

NOT.

 

I have worked my ass off the last 10 years to feel better. I did so much research, tried and re-tried tons of strategies, fell on my nose 1002 times, had setbacks, tried again, I adjusted my diet, my supplements regime, I changed my life style several times, I practiced acceptance, I exercised, then I had a setback, I... EVERYTHING.  The only thing I know for sure which has NEVER failed was the attitude I developed, like every kind of life is worth to live it and its up to me to make the best out of it. I could easily have become a long term victim because of the things I had experienced in my hole life, even before benzos. It always had to hurt and threat my existence - and then I could find something out which was essential for me to hold on and I could work with it. Like "I am totally alone". Okey, then. Then I can put all of my energy in myself. Or "I am disabled, bed ridden" okey, lots of time to use my mind and think about a future life, no matter if I get it or not. Don't get me wrong I am not at all enlightened I think I had to learn the hard way each time it made that "klick" in my mind. I just found out that all statements I made when I suffered the most, were true. And then it was up to me, if I wanted to suffer or work with it. And I had to work very hard, I still do. Making baby steps means training, and as everyone knows babies fall on the nose quite often. They have to find out how to find balance, listen to the body and try again and again. Thats what I did.

Marigold, i was just trying to be happy for you and to ask whether the change occured suddenly, or the improvements happened in baby steps, I know from what your posts how hard you've worked to get where you are. Somehow you completely misread what I was asking. English is not my first language, and maybe I don't always word things right, but somebody who's almost completely healed surely could be a little bit more understanding and compassionate towards somebody who's still in the midst of things. I've been looking for an answer all across the board so far about the changes and whether they can happen over night, because that's my only hope right now as i've been getting progressively worse over the last two months.. Anyways, never mind, sorry I asked..

[[Bw...]]

With all due respect Willow, you dont know what you're talking about. You're exceptionally stubborn

 

Studies after studies, real life experiences, seeing it work with others in person and learning as much as possible is not being stubborn. You don’t have to agree with me, I’m not here to anger anyone or win everyone over, I’m trying to help others with things that have helped many.

What you have been talking about is chemical as I’ve stated but the reason behind it doesn’t mean there isn’t things that help people. When your brain circuitry is off, staying in a loop of negative feedback isn’t going to help. Those in and off itself cause the circuitry to go haywire or remain off in a chronic state. . This is demonstrated time and time again.

I don’t really understand name calling someone offering suggestions and hope to people.

 

[Guest [Pa...]]

Stubborn is an objective term. I'm not using it in a derogatory manner. You're being stubborn, objectively.

[[Ca...]]

Cathy, I have seen some pretty good partial changes with this stuff, that happened fairly quickly during the good parts of my various tapers.. Changes that put me into a position that I could actually start working more actively on them.. It was also a good source of hope and strength for the bad times..

Sorry, its all still a bit muddy to be too specific, but lets just say that for ME it was 50/50.. Half just happened, and half needed to be actively worked on.. (roughly)

-Then there is this final taper... -lets not go there..!! Lol

 

Just my story, for what its worth..

 

 

[[Ma...]]

boomboomboxy,

 

has it helped to use your punching bag? (do I remember correctly, I thought you wanted to buy one... )

 

Hasn't helped at all. Nothing helps when in a wave or feeling bad.

 

I think its difficult to find relief when you are in a wave. In a wave all you can do is hold on and do things no matter what. People cope differently as they experience withdrawal differently. The only thing I can say to make it easier for you, is that I could not believe it would become better .. for a very long time. December last year was a game changer for me, it was like a knot has disappeared suddenly and the door opened much wider. But that was in my 4th year off, so it just takes time. I know a lot of so called protracted members who needed more time to get a foot back on the ground, but it did happen.

Sometimes it has to be a wish we hold on to, and nothing more can be done..

Marigold, good for you! did that change just occur over night? You just woke up and suddenly felt completely different? Did you feel it coming at all prior to it taking place? I keep hoping for this miracle to just wake up one day and here it is, oh would be so wonderful)

 

Are you kidding? I kind of feel offended, really. Yeah, just happened, I  just lay around on the couch for about 10 years and then bam! healed.

NOT.

 

I have worked my ass off the last 10 years to feel better. I did so much research, tried and re-tried tons of strategies, fell on my nose 1002 times, had setbacks, tried again, I adjusted my diet, my supplements regime, I changed my life style several times, I practiced acceptance, I exercised, then I had a setback, I... EVERYTHING.  The only thing I know for sure which has NEVER failed was the attitude I developed, like every kind of life is worth to live it and its up to me to make the best out of it. I could easily have become a long term victim because of the things I had experienced in my hole life, even before benzos. It always had to hurt and threat my existence - and then I could find something out which was essential for me to hold on and I could work with it. Like "I am totally alone". Okey, then. Then I can put all of my energy in myself. Or "I am disabled, bed ridden" okey, lots of time to use my mind and think about a future life, no matter if I get it or not. Don't get me wrong I am not at all enlightened I think I had to learn the hard way each time it made that "klick" in my mind. I just found out that all statements I made when I suffered the most, were true. And then it was up to me, if I wanted to suffer or work with it. And I had to work very hard, I still do. Making baby steps means training, and as everyone knows babies fall on the nose quite often. They have to find out how to find balance, listen to the body and try again and again. Thats what I did.

Marigold, i was just trying to be happy for you and to ask whether the change occured suddenly, or the improvements happened in baby steps, I know from what your posts how hard you've worked to get where you are. Somehow you completely misread what I was asking. English is not my first language, and maybe I don't always word things right, but somebody who's almost completely healed surely could be a little bit more understanding and compassionate towards somebody who's still in the midst of things. I've been looking for an answer all across the board so far about the changes and whether they can happen over night, because that's my only hope right now as i've been getting progressively worse over the last two months.. Anyways, never mind, sorry I asked..

 

Sorry, I am at the edge at the moment because of the family with Covid19. I might have overreacted. I have to admit that at the moment one bad news follows the next and I do not recognize myself any more :'(

[[Bw...]]

Since this is just going in circles, which is fine that is how it goes on the internet but no point continuing on here.. If anyone wants to communicate about therapies info/options feel free to PM me. Thanks to those that have reached out already.

 

Btw, I’m well aware off the problems medications can cause. Remeron made me manic, gave me acute liver problems and still dealing with other issues from it but it’s also been the best thing to happen to me.

 

Best wishes to everyone.

[Guest [Pa...]]

Hell is paved with good intentions. Don't invalidate people's experiences.