Under the Rug (Trigger Warning)

[[ea...]]

I think you might be right, Arizona. How is my favorite state? I drove there twice in my 20's. LONG time ago. Fell in love Arizona and New Mexico. Wish I could afford to move there!

east

[[Ta...]]

This thread has slowed down quite a bit and I think I know why...we're all basically RECOVERED !    [i hope I'm right!!]

 

Lol, wishful thinking! Hanging in there, though. Arizona, how are you handling the summer heat? Have you developed lizard skin or sprouted cactus spines yet from loving out here? I think they are poking through my skin as we speak! 

 

east, I wish I could pack you up and move you out here myself! I think you'd love the clear desert skies and lack of humidity!

 

All the best to the beautiful ladies here! Hope you are doing better!

[[We...]]

Yes, I hope everyone here is healing. 

 

I am growing increasingly worried and concerned about the lack of anxiety in my life.... 

 

 

[[ci...]]

Yes, I hope everyone here is healing. 

 

I am growing increasingly worried and concerned about the lack of anxiety in my life.... 

 

That is so great to hear!!  When did things break for you?

[[We...]]

Hey circle!

 

Honestly...I think it's because I did a parasite cleanse with Humaworm.  Not for the faint of heart.  Slammed me around for a couple or few weeks then...bam!  not just windows....bay windows with panoramic views!

 

How's things with you?  Noticing progress?  Still kerplinking around with some art?

[[Do...]]

Good Monday to you all.  I have been reading this thread since beginning of journey.  Ya guys saved me many times but wouldn't know it because I Lurk' and Stalk positive posts!  Whenever I saw Welchies post, I knew it was probably safe to click and read.  This thread got in a little hot water months ago...you rebels!

Anyway, Finished 8 month of a c/t and I am feeling alright!  Thanks for all the laughs.  Today I read back a little and can see all the healing going on!..Good shit...and thanks!

I am no artist but do what I can to ignite right side of whats left of my brain.  Don't laugh, but I rock hunt and roll.  I have saws and tumblers and other polishers.  I am working with them again...Finally, I can handle the noise and chaos.  Thanks to you crazy ladies.  Ya kept me going at times!!! 

[[We...]]

Huge applause to you Dove for your c/t with that high of a dose with Klon.  I'm truly inspired!  You're about a month ahead of me?  Amazing.  Truly.  So glad to hear you're feeling alright.  Alright is ok.  Better than the early days of c/t. eh?  I know what I went through getting off of 1mg with something close to a taper.

 

Thanks for what you said about the Wild Bunch here helping you along a little!  It totally made my day!  LOL about being a lurker.  A few other people 'fessed up' to that    Guess we are officially the entertainment committee.

 

Rock and roll sounds like a lot of fun.  The art world abounds with so many possibilities!  I may be repeating myself...I can never remember what I said on a post or in a PM...but my hubs swears he has zero art talent.  However, he is an amazingly creative problem solver.  Just wish I could teach him how to cook.

 

That's fantastic you're messing around with polishing again and can handle the noise.  My noise sensitivity is just about gone.  And it feels good, doesn't it, to do something other than be lost in pain?  The promise of healing is starting to be fulfilled!!!

 

:smitten: :smitten:

[[We...]]

Quote by Mark Twain

 

'It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog'

[[Do...]]

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. Mark Twain

 

 

Have a Great Day Everybody!

[[We...]]

ARE WE THERE YET!!!!

 

Love Mark Twain.  He was such a rascal.  I suspect he would have gotten thrown into Off Topic too.

 

Month 8 now...trudging along.  Been able to go for walks most days now, amazed I can do that.  Morning creepies remind me I'm not out of the woods yet.

 

Here's another Mark Twain quote:  If it's your job to eat a frog, best to do it first thing in the morning.  If it's your job to eat two frogs, best to eat the biggest one first.

 

Guess benzos = big frogs 

 

How's everyone doing these days? 

[[ci...]]

Hi Welchie!

 

...the morning creepies...I know exactly what you’re talking about!

I would have loved to know they were fading away by month 8.

 

Have you tried or do you take any supplements?  I seem to remember that you mentioned “The Mood Cure”.  Did you ever try it?

 

 

[[We...]]

Hey circle!!

 

Those morning creepies suck, don't they     They freak me right the F out.  I'm glad to hear someone knows what I'm talking about and it's one of my most stubborn sx.  But I get more and more mornings where they're totally GONE!  Especially the last month or so. Guess that's progress.  Sorry I can't tell you they're 100% gone yet.  Guess the brain is still healing on deeper levels. 

 

You know...I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off!

 

Sleep is improving too, but I still have those nights...

ME:  Please let me sleep!

BRAIN:  Nope.  We have to stay up and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.  In great detail.

 

Aargh!

 

How's things with you?  You're finishing up month 3 now?  Forgot to check your sig.  Are you noticing some good improvements?  I hope!!! 

 

Yes, still supplementing.  Now able to take full doses of magnesium.  Finished up the parasite cleanse and a lot of things improved noticeably.  Now I'm following up with oodles of probiotics and prebiotics.  Maybe that's what's triggering some stuff.  I'm far enough out now to notice some sort of pattern, even within the non-linear of it all.  Most important is...some sx, what's left of them, ramp up just before a big window.  So guess I will suck it up and hope for the best.  What else is there to do. 

 

But about those morning creepies...I now want my tombstone to say "Well, at least I don't have to wake up anymore."

 

Hopefully I don't become one of those people who wear pajamas in public.  Then again, maybe they have the right idea.

 

HUGS to everyone.  Hope everyone is seeing healing happening!!

 

 

 

 

 

[[We...]]

It's been awhile since anyone has posted here, this meandering ragtag thread, myself included.  So I'm just stopping by to say hello and hope that whoever is reading this is further along with their healing, wherever, whatever that may be.  My fellow warriors.

 

Maybe at this point I'm just talking to myself!!!    Most of the people here I've stayed in close contact with through PM.  The bonds and friendships that can develop on this forum are great.  Don't know how I would have gotten through all this if it weren't for that, or for the tears, fears and laughter shared here.

 

I'm in the middle of month nine now.  There was a time I never thought I would have made it this far or experience this much healing.  Sx are dropping off left and right lately.  Finally.  Waves are milder and shorter.  Windows much better.  It's all better and still heading in the right direction.

 

I hope everyone else here is seeing the same thing.

 

For what seemed like forever, life was a jumbled mess.  It felt like...the chains on my mood swing just snapped...RUN!!!  Only I couldn't run from myself LOL!!

 

So many days trying to type on this thread where every word I spelled was wrong and auto-correct was like..."I've got nothing man".

 

Didn't know how to act my age cuz I'd never been that old before...like, how DOES someone 127 years old act anyway???

 

At the same time going through life trying to deal with the normies and feeling like I didn't have the energy or the crayons to explain myself to anyone outside the forum.

 

Feeling mostly retired...tired yesterday, tired the day before that.

 

My biggest goal in life was to move just enough so people wouldn't think I was dead.  Feeling super lazy and unmotivated, like normal lazy, only wearing the cape.

 

Going out of my mind, but I couldn't find the exit.  Not just missing a screw...the whole tool box went missing.

 

Yeah.  It's been a trip.

 

I've met so many amazing, beautiful and strong people on this forum.  Unfortunately have met a few predators too.  I've learned something from both.  Perhaps even more from the predators.  Much of my healing has been what was 'under the rug' too, in regards to exactly that.  Learning to discern which is which and not let them destroy me.  It was the predators that preceded the benzos.  I have learned much on many levels...lessons that will stand for the rest of my life.  And the predators just made me stronger, much to their dismay, I'm sure.

 

I'm still here, still healing, but so much stronger.  And hopefully wiser.

 

Wishing everyone a manageable day with lots of healing.  Wishing everyone the strength to find their way home.  I'd take a bullet for all of you.

 

Ok.  Maybe a nerf bullet, but still....

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Welchie,  I'm usually not on this thread but I'm so glad to hear your update. 

 

Really glad your symtoms are dropping off and you are feeling better and better.  Very inspirational to hear as I struggle through my taper.

 

Wishing you the best as you continue to thrive. 

 

Final healing

[[co...]]

Good for you, Welchie.

 

Glad to hear of your progress.

[[mo...]]

I like that analogy, a nerf bullet.

[[Ta...]]

OMG, Welchie, you are so brilliant. What a way with words! Have you done stand-up comedy?

I am so glad to hear of your improvement.

I have slowly been improving, too.

My cognition is still funky, but improving. It seems to be going in the right direction and that is all I can hope for (except complete and total healing!) Or to wake up one day and be smarter than a fifth grader!

Hope all the ladies are keeping their chins up (double chins for me) and plugging forward.

Love to everyone!

 

❤️🤩❤️

[[ea...]]

This is really odd. I wrote a post here maybe 20 minutes ago and now it just does not exist.

Phooey on the Internet.

Welchie, I miss you.

Annie

[[no...]]

ME:  Please let me sleep!

BRAIN:  Nope.  We have to stay up and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.  In great detail.

 

 

omg this THIS!!

[[no...]]

OMG, Welchie, you are so brilliant. What a way with words! Have you done stand-up comedy?

 

i was just thinking that reading one of Welchie's posts on another thread!

 

good to see you're doing better, too Tater Tot 

[[Ta...]]

OMG, Welchie, you are so brilliant. What a way with words! Have you done stand-up comedy?

 

i was just thinking that reading one of Welchie's posts on another thread!

 

good to see you're doing better, too Tater Tot 

 

Thanks! I have honestly seen improvement just in the last 2 weeks. I started kundalini yoga and sound healing. I think they are gonging my cells into realignment. LOL. Just hope it keeps getting better.

[[no...]]

OMG, Welchie, you are so brilliant. What a way with words! Have you done stand-up comedy?

 

i was just thinking that reading one of Welchie's posts on another thread!

 

good to see you're doing better, too Tater Tot 

 

Thanks! I have honestly seen improvement just in the last 2 weeks. I started kundalini yoga and sound healing. I think they are gonging my cells into realignment. LOL. Just hope it keeps getting better.

 

heh just imagined you with a giant gong and the stick thingee that you hit it with

[[We...]]

Good morning everyone!  It's great to see some old Benzo Buds here and some new ones too.

 

Final - my greatest wish is that some day soon you will be here telling us how your sx are dropping off left and right, that YOU will be another voice in this painful wilderness shouting 'healing happens!', beating that drum loud and clear (or banging that gong!!!)  I wish that for all of us.  I posted on your thread when you first arrived here in the winter and I was a newbie myself in miserable acute, and I can see all your progress, though I know you're still in the thick of it.  Congrats on the 5.4mg!  Slow but SURE!  Every step, every day.

 

nomore!!!!  So happy to see you!!!  Thanks for stopping by!!!  Watch any good movies lately    I guess you, me and Tater will help Final bang the gong with the stick thingee.  Hope today finds you well.  Just between us...I set myself a highly achievable goal today...don't eat okra.  So far so good.  It's been a true pleasure getting to know you, despite the okra, which could have been a serious deal breaker.

 

Tater - dearest Tater - SUPER glad to hear you're seeing improvement in the last two weeks    'Aw shucks' about being brilliant.  Far from it.  Actually, I finally figured out what's wrong with my brain...on the left side there is nothing right, and on the right side there is nothing left.  As far as stand-up comedy goes...I'm still too tired but may be able to pull off some sit-down comedy.  It sounds like you may have some leanings toward comedy yourself    About the double chin...wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?  On a more serious note...I've been checking out binaural beats and that 741 hertz thingee.  (Another thingee.  They're everywhere.)  You think the sound stuff is helping for real???

 

cookienose...thanks for the    and back at you.  All I really need is a hug and someone to say 'I know it's hard, but you'll be ok.  Here's a coffee and a million bucks.'  Yeah, I think that would do it for me.  Especially if the coffee was so strong it could wake up the neighbors.

 

But so ends another week without getting rich unexpectedly.

[[Ta...]]

OMG, Welchie, you are so brilliant. What a way with words! Have you done stand-up comedy?

 

i was just thinking that reading one of Welchie's posts on another thread!

 

good to see you're doing better, too Tater Tot 

 

Thanks! I have honestly seen improvement just in the last 2 weeks. I started kundalini yoga and sound healing. I think they are gonging my cells into realignment. LOL. Just hope it keeps getting better.

 

heh just imagined you with a giant gong and the stick thingee that you hit it with

 

Here's link to a Gong Bath meditation healing music to test it out. I don't know how to embed without the dang commercial. Put on your feather headdress, sit in front of a Buddha statue and burn your favorite incense and give it a try!

 

Only if your CNS can hack it, of course. This and the breathing techniques I am learning in kundalini yoga sessions have really helped me to calm my CNS down. (I hated binaural beats, personally, they made my symptoms worse. But Tibetan singing bowls, crystal bowls and gong baths are more soothing).

 

 

To be honest, I have no idea if the sound baths legitimately work. It could all be in my head. But I have felt better since starting going to these sessions, and that might be all the proof I need right now. It seems ancient Egyptians believed in the power of sound healing. Maybe they were onto something?

 

Here's a link explaining a bit about that:

https://www.soulveda.com/across-cultures/sound-healing-in-ancient-egypt/

 

Sending so much love to everyone. We will get through this somehow, one day at a time & one moment at a time. Take time to love and nurture yourselves today.

 

HUGS!!!!

[[We...]]

Thanks Tater for the link, lovely and relaxing.  Reminds me a little of my singing bowl.  Ever use one of those?

 

I'm ready for that nerf fight, mon.  Bring it on!