It's me again! Help with Plan - 19 years on X tapering from 5 mgs

[[Lo...]]

In the withdrawal support thread she has already said she jumped

 

Yes, I talked to her via private message.  She did jump.  She's feeling okay and promised to keep us posted.  HUGS and WELL WISHES to Kristin!  She started on the journey with me when I first created this thread.  Obviously she finished far quicker than I will but I'm routing for her... and for all of us!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

xoxoxo

[[Lo...]]

Made the cut to 3.0 mgs!  Going to follow SeakingPeace's schedule from this point forward.  Sxs no worse and no better as of right now.  However, health anxiety is through the roof! On a positive note, I can't believe that I'm at 1/2 the dose that I started at and am still alive to tell!    I realize that the hardest part is still ahead of me but I'm hanging on to hope with every ounce of my being!

 

How is everyone else doing? 

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Ki...]]

I am trying to taper down from 3mg a day myself. Have made it to 2.5 by cutting back on 1 pill daily. Messed up once in a week due to being out in public. 

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

I’m so happy for you. Keep in touch. Great job.

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

How are you?

[[Lo...]]

Lori

 

How are you?

 

Hi Kristin!

 

Thanks for checking in.  I'm still hanging in there at 3.0 mgs and plan to stay here until next Monday.  Last week was crazy stressful with the wedding, family, etc.  I could really feel it. On top of this, my husband had knee surgery 2 weeks ago, and of course he can't seem to do a darn thing without me!  In the first week I kept a loose mental count of how many times he asked me to get him something.... how's a little over 500 x's sound?  RIDICULOUS!  So I put him on notice yesterday that it's time to put his big boy pants on and use the darn crutches!  He's in zero pain so I feel no guilt!  I did my part which is far more than I can say for him as far as his support or help for all that I'm going through! 

 

As of yesterday my son is back at college, things are quieting down a bit and I simply want to allow my body and mind a week relaxing! Then, as I mentioned, I'm truly going to try to follow SeakingPeace's schedule.  I'll be sure to check back in next week. 

 

How are you doing?  How are your symptoms?  I truly hope you're doing fantastic!!!!  Thanks for hanging in there with me! 

 

Many hugs!!!

 

Lori

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Made the cut to 2.75 today!  Wish me luck! 

 

Lori

[[en...]]

Made the cut to 2.75 today!  Wish me luck! 

 

Lori

 

Lori, I am so glad I came across your post. I do wish you the best of luck. I've read many posts on this forum and have come across only a few that have been on Xanax for so long.

 

It was hell for me trying to go down .25 as I tapered. So while I recover at 2.5mg, I am planning a dry cutting plan by 10%- I will try it every two weeks and see how it goes.

 

Do you space out your 2.75mg through the day? I have to space mine out. I swear I start to feel irritable after 4 hours of taking a dose. I am seeing my doc in a few weeks and hope she is on board with this dry cutting plan. I have given a lot of thought to the Ashton method with Valium- but I, like you, do not want to add another med.

 

After being on Xanax for SOOO long, I'm terrified that I have fried my brain but also excited about gaining the creativity and energy I used to have before taking it.

 

You will be in my thoughts this week! And I will follow your progress as it seems we are quite similar with the Med and taper.

 

 

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

YAY!  So excited for you. Good luck

[[Ma...]]

enginge While you wait for Lori I just wanted to add it is not unusual to feel some interdose withdrawal after 4 hours It certainly isn't for me There are times now that I actually have some poor reactions when first taking my dose , such as slightly increased pulse of heart It used  to be that I felt best after taking a dose  , but I have less of that feeling now I also have some other strange effects like I will get sleepy near the end of interdose windows even though I can be feeling kind of anxious at the same time

 

Congratulations on how far you have come. Are you pretty sure you are pretty stable at 2.5? Congratulations for coming that far

[[en...]]

enginge While you wait for Lori I just wanted to add it is not unusual to feel some interdose withdrawal after 4 hours It certainly isn't for me There are times now that I actually have some poor reactions when first taking my dose , such as slightly increased pulse of heart It used  to be that I felt best after taking a dose  , but I have less of that feeling now I also have some other strange effects like I will get sleepy near the end of interdose windows even though I can be feeling kind of anxious at the same time

 

Congratulations on how far you have come. Are you pretty sure you are pretty stable at 2.5? Congratulations for coming that far

 

It has only been a few days since holding at 2.5mg. I am going to stay there until I talk to my doc. Last night was the first night in a LONG time I actually slept a full 7 hours. I did wake with increased heart rate. I know it is going to be tricky because I usually feel withdrawal after 4 hours of taking a dose. So I'm still wrapping my mind around how I will taper down 5-10%, whether it is the entire day, taking 5-10% off 2.5, or taking some a % off a certain dose. I'm guessing I will do best with just 5-10% off total day.

I'm sure once I talk with my doc she will be on board. That appointment is still about 3 weeks away.

Thanks for your response. Again, it is nice to see someone else who has been on it so long...

[[Ma...]]

Hi enginge I assume you know those on Xanaax, especially those suffering with interdose withdrawal, often crossover to either Valium or Klonopin since those drugs have longer half lives and duration of action. This thread has of course been a bit of a hub for those who have gone the straight Xanax withdrawal route. The general scenario seems to be a lot of people are able to get off more quickly by staying on Xanax, but for some, even though it takes longer, it is a lot more comfortable to comment off the longer lasting drugs

 

You probably know that, but maybe you could add to your take on the issue?

[[Lo...]]

Made the cut to 2.75 today!  Wish me luck! 

 

Lori

 

Lori, I am so glad I came across your post. I do wish you the best of luck. I've read many posts on this forum and have come across only a few that have been on Xanax for so long.

 

It was hell for me trying to go down .25 as I tapered. So while I recover at 2.5mg, I am planning a dry cutting plan by 10%- I will try it every two weeks and see how it goes.

 

Do you space out your 2.75mg through the day? I have to space mine out. I swear I start to feel irritable after 4 hours of taking a dose. I am seeing my doc in a few weeks and hope she is on board with this dry cutting plan. I have given a lot of thought to the Ashton method with Valium- but I, like you, do not want to add another med.

 

After being on Xanax for SOOO long, I'm terrified that I have fried my brain but also excited about gaining the creativity and energy I used to have before taking it.

 

You will be in my thoughts this week! And I will follow your progress as it seems we are quite similar with the Med and taper.

 

Hi Engine!

 

So sorry I haven't responded.  Been a rough few days!  UGH!  First of all, welcome to the forum... not that anyone truly wants to be here!    I'm glad to hear that you're moving alone nicely in your taper. 

 

To answer a few questions, I am spacing my doses throughout the day.  With such a short acting benzo like Xanax, I don't know how anyone couldn't.  Currently I take .5 mgs when I wake, .5 at noon, .25 around 4-5:00, .25 mgs @ 7:00 pm, .25 mgs at 10:00 and then 1 mg at 11:30 before bed.  Total 2.75  This has NOT been easy as I feel as though I've NEVER been stable on any dose due to years of interdose withdrawal and tolerance of which I had no idea as I simply thought my anxiety was getting out of control! 

 

The last few days have been terrible.  I'm not going to lie.  However, I'm not sure if it's the actual cut, or my crazy health anxiety and seeing far too many stories of hell.  For so long I tried to stay away from those, but I have horrible health anxiety so I tend to google every symptom I'm having at any given moment.  To make matters worse, I'm having a heck of a time gaining weight.  I'm only 93 pounds and it's got me so upset! Keep in mind that I'm only 5'1" and I've been thin my entire life.  I think the most I've ever weighed (other than when I was pregnant) was 101-104 lbs and being 98-100 most of the time. My doctor is sending me for blood work and I don't even want to have it done because I don't think I could handle finding out that there is truly something physically wrong with me.  I know a lot of people lose weight during this process and then you have those who tend to gain it.  It's a crap shoot I suppose but it still has me concerned since I'm eating! 

 

Right about now I feel as though every day is groudhog day!  I wake up, feel good for about 10 minutes, until I get out of bed and start moving around, and then it begins!  The constant fear, racing heart, dreaded thoughts that something is wrong, heavy limbs, dizziness, short of breath, etc.  Keep in mind I've been a couch potato for 2 years because of either fear of starting the taper or what it would bring!  Some background.... I attempted to start a taper 2 years ago and I had a paradoxical reaction to Valium on the FIRST DOSE!  I didn't sleep for 4 days and I hadn't even eliminated my Xanax dose!  I tried it again the following week and the same thing happened!  After that, I just put the taper on hold because I didn't think doing a direct taper from Xanax was even possible... at that time all I had heard of was The Ashton Method, had gotten my doctor onboard, and then all hell broke loose when I couldn't tolerate Valium! - at that point, my Doctor wanted me to be in a less stressed out position before I started a true taper Sidebar:  My only son/child was leaving to go away to college, marital troubles, etc.  I was a royal mess!

 

So here I am!  I started a slow taper on my own from 6 mgs to 4 and then I brought my doctor onboard again.  He's been very helpful and is willing to do anything within the law to help me get off of these things!  He remembers me well from 4 years ago as bubbly, tenacious, just having completed a Masters Degree in Clinical and Counseling Psychology (of all things, right?), and his heart breaks to see me now!  HE did prescribe Klonipin (I didn't take and won't), and a few other things that I never took as well.  I'm determined to get off of this without adding another medication and prolonging the agony any further.  Additionally, after the Valium fiasco, I'm literally afraid to take anything else! 

 

Although I don't feel well most of the time, I keep telling myself that I haven't for a VERY long time!  And at least I "know" why I'm not feeling well now!  Hey, that's me on a good day! LOL!  Other days, I'm wallowing in "what is wrong with me?" .... "Will I ever feel normal again?"  It's so hard!  Then I see others who have come out of this doing fine.  I can only PRAY that after having been on this crap (uninformed consent), that I'll someday have a normal life!  I just wish I had known about this in my early 40's when I felt good and healthy!  I just turned 51 and I feel like my best years are behind me.  I know that's all in my head but most days it truly is the way I feel.  Par for the course I suppose!

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!  I'm about as transparent as they come! 

 

Wishing you the best!  Keep in touch!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

enginge While you wait for Lori I just wanted to add it is not unusual to feel some interdose withdrawal after 4 hours It certainly isn't for me There are times now that I actually have some poor reactions when first taking my dose , such as slightly increased pulse of heart It used  to be that I felt best after taking a dose  , but I have less of that feeling now I also have some other strange effects like I will get sleepy near the end of interdose windows even though I can be feeling kind of anxious at the same time

 

Congratulations on how far you have come. Are you pretty sure you are pretty stable at 2.5? Congratulations for coming that far

 

It has only been a few days since holding at 2.5mg. I am going to stay there until I talk to my doc. Last night was the first night in a LONG time I actually slept a full 7 hours. I did wake with increased heart rate. I know it is going to be tricky because I usually feel withdrawal after 4 hours of taking a dose. So I'm still wrapping my mind around how I will taper down 5-10%, whether it is the entire day, taking 5-10% off 2.5, or taking some a % off a certain dose. I'm guessing I will do best with just 5-10% off total day.

I'm sure once I talk with my doc she will be on board. That appointment is still about 3 weeks away.

Thanks for your response. Again, it is nice to see someone else who has been on it so long...

 

Hi Enginge3!

 

I'm just checking in to see how you're doing.  Unfortunately it seems as though a lot of people have dropped off this thread as it was once pretty active.  Are you still holding at 2.5?  I'm struggling with the 2.75 but hanging in there!

 

Keep me posted!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Missing SeakingPeace1 and Kristin!  Had a rough 2 weeks but still holding on at 2.75 and planning to plow through and make another cut next Monday! 

 

Where'd everyone go?  :'(

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

2.5 but feeling it.  Two hours of sleep last night.  UGH!

 

Lori

[[Bn...]]

It gets better. Thinking of you.

[[Bn...]]

Hey Lori

 

It’s ok if you need to slow it down. I know everyone is different. I’m so happy for you that you are as low as you are. Keep plugging along I’m around.

 

Take care

 

[[te...]]

Hope everyone on this thread is holding on too hope, we all are in the same boat. Just trying to stay afloat and get our lives back. How important it is to just have your old self back , once you can just have one good day and see that maybe there is a light at the end of this horrible long tunnel then there is hope. Keep heading toward the light dont give up . When my  brother passed last year i started taking ativan perscribed by my own doctor who said dont worry its a low dose well now what?  My poor dear brother who also was on ativan at the end of his life had a brain injury and thru hospice they stopped all of his medication .. I was his caregiver imagine his withdrawl that he could not tell about just the horrible pain he was in. Now he is free of that. He passed of cancer; But we have a second chance

go forward lets stop and hold when we have too and look forward only. We can all do it together.

[[Lo...]]

Tech21,

So incredibly sorry to hear about your brother! That is beyond sad. Hang in there! You can do this! I actually had 4 really good days even after cutting to 2.5 mgs. Today? Ugh, got slammed a bit but I’m not letting it get to me! Just knowing that good days are possible is motivating!

 

Thinking of you!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Update:

 

Another day; another cut.

 

I definitely have symptoms. The tingling and cramping in my legs is the worst! However, I had another full day of zero symptoms! Talk about giving me hope!

 

And then there’s the fact that it’s 1:55 am and I’m wide awake! Ugh!  However I think it may be due to taking a 1.5 hour nap today which I haven’t been able to do for many months now. Hence, I’m probably paying the price!

 

On a positive note, 2.25 today!! I doubt it has anything to do with my insomnia as it simply wouldn’t hit this fast. But I’m going to just lay here awake and hope for the best .

 

Hope all are doing well!! Please stay in touch!

 

Fondly,

Lori

[[Ma...]]

Following of course Very glad you are having progress

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

Really 2.25. Awesome. I’m sure your sleep has suffered. Take hot baths with Epsom salts. Write letters. Find something to do. Sleep comes back. Also we don’t find our old selves after 20 years on this. We find new thankful selves. That are so happy to be free of medication.

 

I can’t wait for you to experience this. It’s fantastic. I’m so happy being off.

 

Keep plugging along. You are doing great.

 

Kristin

 

Hey Matt how are you?  Almost done huh.

[[Lo...]]

Lori

 

Really 2.25. Awesome. I’m sure your sleep has suffered. Take hot baths with Epsom salts. Write letters. Find something to do. Sleep comes back. Also we don’t find our old selves after 20 years on this. We find new thankful selves. That are so happy to be free of medication.

 

I can’t wait for you to experience this. It’s fantastic. I’m so happy being off.

 

Keep plugging along. You are doing great.

 

Kristin

 

Hey Matt how are you?  Almost done huh.

 

Hi Kristin!!

 

Thanks so much for your unwavering support!

I’m plugging along. I wrote more on the thread that you started.

 

Still so incredibly proud of you and soooo happy that you’re doing so well!

 

Talk soon!

 

Lori

 

[[Ma...]]

Lori

 

Really 2.25. Awesome. I’m sure your sleep has suffered. Take hot baths with Epsom salts. Write letters. Find something to do. Sleep comes back. Also we don’t find our old selves after 20 years on this. We find new thankful selves. That are so happy to be free of medication.

 

I can’t wait for you to experience this. It’s fantastic. I’m so happy being off.

 

Keep plugging along. You are doing great.

 

Kristin

 

Hey Matt how are you?  Almost done huh.

 

 

Hi Kristin Thanks for asking I am going pretty slow really I could be trying to go faster but am a little afraid of tinnitus jumping up It is already up a bit and am hoping to keep it from going higher Who knows ifIam right about it or not I hope to cut again this week. Still can't make up my mind on a crossover Kind of waiting to get through at least December without rocking the boat Also have a full time job now plus extra side jobs so I have some money to try some alternative therapy stuff

 

Very glad you are well

 

Best to you

                        Matt