It's me again! Help with Plan - 19 years on X tapering from 5 mgs

[[Tr...]]

Oh wow that’s wonderful. My stomach stuff has been fairly consistent since January. I told my doc. He said it will go away with Xanax. It’s awful.  I am thinking of you. It’s WAY COOL to get the intellect back. Most exciting thing.

 

Keep in touch.

Kristin

Kristen,

How are you cutting so quickly? Do you have any withdrawal symptoms. I cut my dosage twice by.25 and suffered like I never have before in my entire life. Most horrific withdrawal..I wouldn't wish that kind of sickness on my worst enemy.

Any advice or tips??

Trish

[[Ma...]]

Yes Kristin it looks like you are the all time Xanax taperer We are about at the same level at the moment, so hopefully we  can compare notes from 1 down My main symptoms are pins and needles in the feet and some tingly skin elsewhere. I have stomach issues but I am kind of used to it. I also have mild to moderate tinnitus but I have it for a long time Occasionally I am still trying to push into the uncomfortable zone at the end of a dosage window. Not sure if it is really a good idea, but i guess i am trying to train myself a bit when things get tough I have little trouble with breathing in a relaxed fashion when that comes on. I have done a little practice with diaphragmatic breathing in the past, which has worked for me to some degree, but is a different ballgame when the rush hits At the moment I am not even telling my GP i am tapering since you hear so many stories of them just stopping your prescription for whatever crazy reason So at the moment I going without doctors help. From what I have seen I am not sure that is such a problem.

 

Sorry your having troubles Trishy

[[Tr...]]

Yes Kristin it looks like you are the all time Xanax taperer We are about at the same level at the moment, so hopefully we  can compare notes from 1 down My main symptoms are pins and needles in the feet and some tingly skin elsewhere. I have stomach issues but I am kind of used to it. I also have mild to moderate tinnitus but I have it for a long time Occasionally I am still trying to push into the uncomfortable zone at the end of a dosage window. Not sure if it is really a good idea, but i guess i am trying to train myself a bit when things get tough I have little trouble with breathing in a relaxed fashion when that comes on. I have done a little practice with diaphragmatic breathing in the past, which has worked for me to some degree, but is a different ballgame when the rush hits At the moment I am not even telling my GP i am tapering since you hear so many stories of them just stopping your prescription for whatever crazy reason So at the moment I going without doctors help. From what I have seen I am not sure that is such a problem.

 

Sorry your having troubles Trishy

Thank you mattnapa,

This isn't easy.. At least not for me   it may be a very, very long time before I'm completely off.

[[Bn...]]

Hi Matt and Trishy

 

I DO have symptoms. I HATE acknowledging them. But I will. Here goes.

 

1 Tinnitus. Like crazy. Worse when I cut like Loud three tones high pitch to low

2 Crazy stomach issues. Not one regular poop this year hit tolerance and interdose long time ago (diarrhea)

3 Muscle aches  This is in varying degrees. My neck gets wicked locked. My jaw. My legs jump sometimes it’s bad. Worse closer to the cut day. My cuts hit me same day now

4 dizziness

5 nausea

6 headache

7 insomnia I sleep sometimes. Getting less though

8 feel like I have to much energy. Wired maybe

9 am also very tired

10 more things. Stomach aches

11 nerve pain  Could be puns and needles. Could be old shingles pain

12 old injury pain. I swear my ovaries hurt. Lost one in 2009 the other in 2012.

 

I have more. You get the gist of it. Most important is that I was wrecking my own life and body by taking Xanax. I have hated it for a while. I didn’t know. I was just recently told by the therapist I am seeing that I came to her saying I wanted off Xanax. I didn’t remember that. I’ve searched my journals. I wanted off. I wrote that. I was afraid. I worked for a whole year on fear and me getting my head straight. THATS how. It hurts but I need this to be ok.

 

I recover every time I cut.

 

I will keep in touch. Kristin

8

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Kristin- I was hoping it was easier for you. I am uncomfortable giving any advice to someone who has accomplished what you have, but you might consider slowing it down for this final .75 I know it is not what you want to hear. Maybe I am wrong and if you do not notice a jump in symptoms you can go straight through Good luck either way.

 

Trishy can I ask whether you have considered a switch to Valium I have been here awhile and am not really sure if you have a better chance of a better outcome or not I get it that it is supposed to steady inter dose interval symptoms but sometimes I think I almost prefer to suffer during the day so I can have more of my dose at night for sleep. Sorry to hear you have had a bump. 

[[Ma...]]

I got an email from the Psychiatrist that I mentioned earlier in the thread saying she cannot see me unless I go to rehab I know I am a kind of medium risk benzo history, but wow I am beginning to wonder if anyone will treat me

[[Tr...]]

Thanks Kristin- I was hoping it was easier for you. I am uncomfortable giving any advice to someone who has accomplished what you have, but you might consider slowing it down for this final .75 I know it is not what you want to hear. Maybe I am wrong and if you do not notice a jump in symptoms you can go straight through Good luck either way.

 

Trishy can I ask whether you have considered a switch to Valium I have been here awhile and am not really sure if you have a better chance of a better outcome or not I get it that it is supposed to steady inter dose interval symptoms but sometimes I think I almost prefer to suffer during the day so I can have more of my dose at night for sleep. Sorry to hear you have had a bump.

Hi Matt,

I did consider valium crossover, but it's difficult to find a Dr in the U.S. Who agrees with that. I'm currently on 1.5 of Xanax. I take .25 in the morning and.5 in the afternoon and .75 at night before bed. I have my Dr prescribe .25 pills so there's no cutting them.

 

The first reduction I made was .25  and another  .25  20 days later.. Too much too fast for my body. I had involuntary jerking, muscle twitching, severe depression, weepy, sleepy and insomnia, nausea, heart palpitations.

Thankfully I feel good right now, my body has adjusted to the lower dose. My fear is reducing again..I can't suffer like that again.. I'm holding at this current dose. When I'm ready to cut again it's got to be by less than.25, probably half of that and stay there for awhile to see how that goes.

 

Thanks for answering Kristen! Good luck!! I wish I could do it as fast as you are, that's awesome!!

Best of luck,

Trish

[[Ma...]]

Trish Glad to hear you have a handle on it and have overcome your bump It is hard for me to not want to charge forward as well, it is certainly in some our's blood

 

I am having trouble not ranting a bit about my experience with the Psychiatrist On the one hand they want to claim that Xanax withdrawal is no big deal, but then they cannot touch a relatively low dose Xanax user I am missing something or isn't there a contradiction there. Imagine the money made if everyone with my level of use and above is forced into a rehab

 

Again on my current regime, I am going between 12 and 14 hours from my last nighttime, and next dose usually around 3 It is not especially pleasant but not horrible I fantasize that pushing your brain/body kind of hard for awhile might be good for it The theory of hormesis if you will

[[Lo...]]

Hello all!

 

I thought I'd jump in.  For those having wicked sx, you're not alone!  I think that each of us respond differently.  I made the cut to 3.5 several days ago and got totally slammed yesterday and today!  Ears clogged and ringing, shortness of breath (and holding my breath at the same time - figure that one out), tingling in feet and legs... the GI issues, memory impairment, - the list goes on.  But what's especially bad for me is the health anxiety! Every symptom has me thinking it's cancer, lung disease (smoker), cardiomyopathy, stroke, heart attack, circulation problems, .... the list is exhausting and it's exhausting me and certainly taxing on my family!

 

I have the spot on my stomach that I thought was a skin tag that I found around Memorial Day weekend.  Long story short, it went away and is back.  I'm now convinced that I have melanoma!  I frantically called a dermatologist this morning and they are seeing me tomorrow afternoon.  THIS is what this drug has reduced me to!  I'm beside myself!  The interdose w/d is ridiculous!  I honestly can't believe that I haven't updosed but let me tell you that I'm terrified of the next cut. 

 

On a positive note, I'm almost at half the dose I was on.  I have to keep telling myself that progress is progress!!!  Hang in there, everyone! 

 

Kristin, keep rocking it!  xo

 

Will keep you all posted!

 

Hugs to all!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Hopefully I can tag along a bit since I am an Xer also I have not yet posted my signature because I go not yet have a doc ,and I have been struggling to see if I can so called stabilize at 1 mg X. It  I have asked Kristin previously why she did not use a substitute taper with Valium, and I kind of get it from Lori that a high dose maybe makes substitutions difficult to imagine You certainly are brave Lori and of course wish you and everyone else here the best.

 

 

Thanks, Matt!

 

As I said, Valium made me horribly depressed and at only one 5 mg dose (didn't even skip my Xanax), I didn't sleep for 4 nights!  It was crazy! There's no way on earth I did that to myself!  It was definitely the drug as I can honestly say that I've never suffered from depression.  Especially not suicidal ideation!  And up until now, I've never had a problem sleeping. 

 

In a way I'm actually glad though because I honestly can't imaging tapering off of two benzo's.  Maybe it would have helped with the I/D w/d but it would also have prolonged the agony of a long taper.  Although I'm having some pretty crappy days, I keep saying to myself that I've been having crappy days for years since I had developed tolerance but didn't know it.  At least now I know why! 

 

Hang in there!!

 

Lori

[[Lo...]]

Yes Kristin it looks like you are the all time Xanax taperer We are about at the same level at the moment, so hopefully we  can compare notes from 1 down My main symptoms are pins and needles in the feet and some tingly skin elsewhere. I have stomach issues but I am kind of used to it. I also have mild to moderate tinnitus but I have it for a long time Occasionally I am still trying to push into the uncomfortable zone at the end of a dosage window. Not sure if it is really a good idea, but i guess i am trying to train myself a bit when things get tough I have little trouble with breathing in a relaxed fashion when that comes on. I have done a little practice with diaphragmatic breathing in the past, which has worked for me to some degree, but is a different ballgame when the rush hits At the moment I am not even telling my GP i am tapering since you hear so many stories of them just stopping your prescription for whatever crazy reason So at the moment I going without doctors help. From what I have seen I am not sure that is such a problem.

 

Sorry your having troubles Trishy

 

Trishy, Hang in there!

 

I'm in the same boat and I'm well aware that I can't follow Kristin's schedule.  But don't despair!  The goal is to get off of these... it took a long time to build up tolerance... it's going to take some time for our brains to heal!  Trust me, I wish I was on Kristin's schedule as well but as even she said, we're all different.  Listen to your body and adjust accordingly.  WE WILL DO THIS! 

 

xoxo

 

Lori

Thank you mattnapa,

This isn't easy.. At least not for me   it may be a very, very long time before I'm completely off.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Lori Good to hear from you. in the past I habe been one who often worries about worse case scenario when symptoms get tough, and then with a a malfunctioning brain it makes us all the more susceptible I am betting you are OK with your skin issue, and the others Obviously it is hard to hear one more person struggling, but I guess it adds to the comradery in some ways

 

. Two of my old physical problems seem to be coming back to haunt me. LPR is a kind of reflux disease that gives you a tightness in your throat which is often described as feeling like a lump in your throat along with sinus problems tinnitus, lung issues etc.. When I originally got it I had a really hard time, and a year or so later it would result in my first prescription for Xanax Shortly after this I got a disorder called Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome which gives one urinary urgency pain in urethrae, prostate and other parts in the region. It had been gone for 7 years from a relatively minor first go round, but two days ago it returned It hasn't been as bad as it could be. but the pilling on effect is kind of discouraging. It seems like any history of problems that  one has come in with, especially those with an anxiety component, will be resurrected by the devil Xanax and be added to your gauntlet of misery

 

Best wishes in your latest chapter

[[Bn...]]

Lori

 

So glad to hear from you. Yay 3.5 mgs. Awesome. Brutal but so worth it. I can truly tell you some of my cuts weren’t as bad as others. Keep doing this at the speed you feel comfortable with. That is what will work. I’m excited for you. When you get to 3 your gonna be excited. Halfway!!!

 

Kristin

[[Li...]]

Hello Lori.

    First I want to say many posts are outdated meaning from 2008.  It's 2018.  I am not an expert on getting off of benzodiazepines.    Went into this without any advice or medical help.  My little drug is a short acting one.  "Lorazepam" given to at 20 yrs. old.  I had panic attacks.  I had a fear of driving, working, flying, basically living.  I've been on this drug for 27plus years.  Getting back to your question about cutting.  Just by reading posts on and off this site I feel there is no easy way.  "Ashton" seems all good but I just don't get getting off one drug only to be addicted to another. I know of people that are even having the same rough time as I am doing it.  It may work for some but I'm not going down that road.  I also don't have a doctor that will prescribe medication in doses like that.  My way may be difficult but is so far working.  I started at between 4mg-6mg daily.  Went cold turkey.  It was bad real bad.  I took a 2mg during a attack and breathed.  I was ok.  Prayed too. After that I read you made it this far don't go back I didn't.  Held at 1mg morning 1mg night.  Held here. It was real bad at fast but it got better in about 2 weeks. I'm glad I did that.  Cut last week, 1mg daily morning.  I would have gone to ,05 at night and 1mg in the morning but just have 2mg tablets.  Holding here.  Side effects, horrid taste, sleep off, headache, bowels really off.    Bottom Line cut to what your body feels it can tolerant.  No your not going feel good.  Go to war with a game plan for when your really sick.  I know I'm going to feel bad at whatever I cut.  I try to cut as much as I can tolerant.  It gets better regardless.  I got down to 1mg from 6mg. That's a lot. I know I'm going to fast but it's seems I am doing ok.  Everyone is different.  I don't recommend cold turkey btw.  Good Luck Lori. 

[[Lo...]]

Hi Lilly!

 

Thanks for the encouraging words! I’m at my sisters beach house for 10 days so I haven’t had a chance to log on (doing it from my phone right now).

 

Update: Cut to 3.25 mgs. I’m hanging in there! Will write more when I get home next week.

 

Kristin: how are you doing? Where are you at right now? Also, have you heard from SeakingPeace? I’m curious as to how she’s doing after her jump a month ago.

 

Hope all are doing well!!

 

Fondly,

Lori

 

[[Bn...]]

Hey. She’s doing great. I’m good. I’m cutting hard and fast. Doing ok.

 

Kristin

[[Lo...]]

Hey. She’s doing great. I’m good. I’m cutting hard and fast. Doing ok.

 

Kristin

 

Kristin, just curious. I don't think I've ever asked you. How many years were you actually on 6 mgs per day?

 

BTW: You're rocking it!!

 

Will catch up soon.

 

Lori

[[Bn...]]

I’ve taken Xanax for 20 years at 6 mgs for 12. I got copies of medical files prior to starting my taper.

 

Are you ok?  I’m rooting for you. I know this sucks. I’m sitting here preparing for my next cut today. My husband decided today was good to yell at me. Then say he wanted s divorce and leave. I’m exhausted from him. It SUCKS.

[[NJ...]]

I was just telling my husband the other day how much I missed the old me.  I figured I got pretty bad about 3-4 years ago.  Prior to that, even on the X for so long, functional, finished grad school in my mid 40's.  Was functioning.  Had some bad days but was basically functioning and fun!  Now?  I'm simply miserable!  My son is not in his Sophmore year in college and my goal is to be off of these and hopefully healed by the time he graduates!  Lord how I would love to attend his graduation benzo free and quasi normal!  I just want my life back!  So sad how this drug has robbed me of my life... and the knowledge that it's only going to get worse before it gets better is depressing!  Trying so hard to stay away from the horror stories!  I honestly think that's why I put off my taper for so long.  Those horror stories put me over the edge two years ago!  I wish I had never read so many of the posts! 

 

I can't go back now.  I just turned 50 and if I don't do this now, Lord only knows how bad my health will become.  I hope we get through this and come out on the other side functioning, happy, and enjoying life again!  Best to you!!!!

 

Lori

 

I am tapering klonopin but I could identify with this--my oldest is a sophomore in college and I too want to be done and somewhat (mostly?) healed by the time he graduates. I have been a long term user, since he was 1 years old, many years on and off, last I am not sure how many years maybe 7 daily user. I think hormonal changes with menopause is making this tough but it is what it is. My period has been very irregular since December. I have really made very little progress in past year and a half which is disappointing. I need to get this over with!

 

I know this is hard. I wish you the best of luck.

[[Bn...]]

Hey Lori

 

Last cut was TERRIBLE. Husband was serious about the divorce but we are talking again I’m not even clear headed. This is criminal but I move on. I am planning to be off by August 26th. I want this so bad. We shall see. Yesterday was my most terrible day. I’m a bit better this morning. But worn out. I’m useless. It’s frustrating.

Keep in touch.

Kristin

[[Su...]]

Hey Lori

 

Last cut was TERRIBLE. Husband was serious about the divorce but we are talking again I’m not even clear headed. This is criminal but I move on. I am planning to be off by August 26th. I want this so bad. We shall see. Yesterday was my most terrible day. I’m a bit better this morning. But worn out. I’m useless. It’s frustrating.

Keep in touch.

Kristin

 

Hey Kristin,

not that you asked me but that last cut was 50%..... a mighty aggressive cut by anyone's standards....

just saying, I think that those kinds of cuts can catch up with you -- or they do with me.  I tried that kind of thing in the beginning...

it might take a bit longer if you whereat  slow down but perhaps you could heal some as you went?

like I said not that you asked me.....

I usually feel cuts about day 3-5, you?

wishing you the best

SS

[[Ma...]]

Kristin Really sorry to hear you are going through this at such a crucial time. I have already given you my thoughts previously so I will not add to them I am of course concerned. Good luck and please hang with us

[[Lo...]]

Hey Lori

 

Last cut was TERRIBLE. Husband was serious about the divorce but we are talking again I’m not even clear headed. This is criminal but I move on. I am planning to be off by August 26th. I want this so bad. We shall see. Yesterday was my most terrible day. I’m a bit better this morning. But worn out. I’m useless. It’s frustrating.

Keep in touch.

Kristin

 

Kristin, I am so sorry to hear? How are you today? I agree with others that you might need to slow down. I know you don’t want to hear that but go back and look over SeakingPeace’s taper. It was far less aggressive than yours. You have to listen to your body. I’m worried about you!!

 

I’m still holding at 3.25 and will for 3 more weeks due to having to take my son back to college, my nieces wedding, etc. A lot going on

 

Hang in there and let me know if you’re okay. Hugs to you!!

 

Lori

[[Ji...]]

Hi Kristin

 

I'm really sorry that after all the efforts you've made all these months you arrived to this point!

 

As I analyzed your history

 

 

I do think your taper has been WAY TOO FAST. In red is when you exceed the recommended 5-10%/10-14 days. (See same reply in http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=208681.0 )

 

Slow down and hang in! All this will settle.

 

[[Ma...]]

In the withdrawal support thread she has already said she jumped