Over 60 help and support.

[[Ba...]]

Juliana,

 

I guess some folks just stay on at low levels.  But the problem is if drs. stop prescribing... but guess there is not much we can do about this.  I doubt they will ever stop rxing completely...  but I think most of us have lost confidence in drs.  In an ideal world we'd all get off this stuff.  Then again, in an ideal world we would never have been put ON the stuff!

 

I have same concerns as you.

[[Ba...]]

Barbara, you are definitely struggling with this. Please don't give up. If you have not already, read Flip's story. If you can't find it, let me know. Going back on clonazepam/benzo's might at best be a temporary fix or not at all, but do what you must to get through this and succeed, because you eventually will. Maybe not in the time frame we all hoped for, but one day this will all be behind you.

 

Hi.  Thx for the kind words.  No, I can't seem to find that story...?

 

Thx again.

[[jo...]]

I'm new to Benzo Buddies, it sure is reassuring to know there are so many out there, that are over 60 struggling to get off Benzo's.  My question is "what do you all do when close family members show no support for this hell you're going through?"  Namely my children, I don't think they think that withdrawal could last this long, or have these horrific symptoms.  It has been so disheartening to me to have lack of support from my children, down right depressing.  I wrote them all a vulnerable email about my situation about a month ago and have had very little response. I realize they have their own children and lives, but the lack of empathy has been painful.  Any thoughts from you all,  I find myself really disliking them all for their lack of empathy and understanding.  Their not cruel to me, just really no response.

[[bo...]]

Joy ... try to remember that other people really don't understand the benzo madness and why would they ? I feel at times they see it as attention seeking or similar. How could they understand the consuming nature of what we are going through .. try not to dwell on it. Really .. its disappointing I know , but we don't have control over how others think an feel about us. Even family. I love the fact that you wrote the email to them , but maybe they just don't know what to say ? Maybe they don't know how to respond to you ? I do understand it's hurtful ,  but do try and set up your own support system , like being here ...

we are consumed by this madness .. it's confusing to others .. just an idea .. I had a friend on here a few years back and she got her doctor to talk to her children about what she was going through. It made all the difference. If that's not practical how about sending them some literature on what benzo withdrawal is like ? I don't think they are ignoring you , possibly just don't know what to say or do..and when people feel like that they don't do anything.. call a family conferance?

Anyway just some ideas. You'll get lots of support here .. take care BB

[[Ca...]]

Joy -- I feel your pain.  My daughter is 31 and does not offer much in the way of support or interest.  I wonder whether it scares her to see me vulnerable and also, she is as self absorbed as I was at 31!! Try not to draw any conclusions regarding their behavior because most thoughts we have in withdrawal are very negative.  It's the nature of the beast.  My guess is that as time passes and you heal more, they will circle back.

 

Carol

[[bo...]]

Carol jean .. did you get the intrusive thoughts in your taper ?  I hate this fear around death and dying , and if im going to wake up or not in the morning ! I'm hoping it will pass !

[[Jo...]]

Magnesium  (Calm) sure helping.

[[tr...]]

Joy! I am so sad, that your family does not understand. Not even healthcare, knows what we're going through. But, we are here for each other, everyone understands. Together, we will do this!

[[Ca...]]

BB -- I did not taper for more than nine months and then I went to a rehab...I could not taper.  So I cold turkey'd.  yes, I have had those feelings you describe not as much during my taper but definitely since coming off.  They are normal I believe for anyone having a tough taper or doing a cold turkey.  Try not to pay them much attention.  they will lessen over time as your nervous system heals.

 

Carol

[[Ju...]]

I'm so sorry about children not being supportive.  My best guess is that they don't know what to say, don't understand what they can do to help, and so just don't respond.  Not unloving, just mystified.

 

I read benzo buddies a lot, even when I don't know the buddies well.  There are so many words of support here that I can appropriate to myself.  Maybe you, Joy, could do the same.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm new to Benzo Buddies, it sure is reassuring to know there are so many out there, that are over 60 struggling to get off Benzo's.  My question is "what do you all do when close family members show no support for this hell you're going through?"  Namely my children, I don't think they think that withdrawal could last this long, or have these horrific symptoms.  It has been so disheartening to me to have lack of support from my children, down right depressing.  I wrote them all a vulnerable email about my situation about a month ago and have had very little response. I realize they have their own children and lives, but the lack of empathy has been painful.  Any thoughts from you all,  I find myself really disliking them all for their lack of empathy and understanding.  Their not cruel to me, just really no response.

 

Joy I can very much relate to this.  My daughter is 30 and she was just awful when I was at my worst in withdrawal - in fact I would go so far as to say she neglected and abandoned me when I was bedridden and hardly able to look after myself.  Our relationship has been very badly affected by the whole thing and I’m not sure it will ever get back on an even keel to be honest - I really try not to be affected by it but find it hard to ignore.  We were always pretty close before so the difference is quite significant.  I’ve developed a hard shell around myself to be able to deal with her behaviour nowadays and although she’s been slightly better as I’ve improved there’s still no acknowledgement that I’m far from well - she expects me to do exactly as I used to before all this madness and has absolutely zero interest in how I’m doing or in any of my ongoing achievements. 

 

I don’t know what the answer is but I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone and that this problem seems, sadly, to be very common :'( 

[[za...]]

I just moved to a new smaller place and I am not able to do anything. i hate this new place that is noisy, have minimal furniture but cannot make it to the store to buy or think at least what is needed.

 

Please, if someone went through this, reply to me....I am so nervous and need help.

 

Many thanks,

Mary

[[Ju...]]

I haven't just moved, but I did want to say a word to you because it is obvious that you are hurting very badly.  I did downsize four years ago, and although I miss the space and many of my books, it was a good decision and I am glad I did it.  You may come to feel better about your new place when a little more time has gone by.  I have been into simplifying my life, and the smaller place seemed to say that I meant it.  It is easy to keep a smaller place neat and clean (this will come when you feel better).  I have very little furniture also, wish I had more comfortable furniture.  There are trade-offs.

 

Downsizing makes sense at a certain age.  I hope that by now you are feeling a little better.  Please reply to this thread.

 

I care.

[[tr...]]

Everything is so weird. I really have no symptoms left, but I'm so weak. Now I have slept 16 hours. Nausea, and everything is so unpleasant. Is that something you recognize? I am 63.

 

[[Su...]]

Everything is so weird. I really have no symptoms left, but I'm so weak. Now I have slept 16 hours. Nausea, and everything is so unpleasant. Is that something you recognize? I am 63.

Well I think fatigue and nausea are sxs, or the fatigue is one that has troubled me in the past....

I see you did a CT? You’ve done super well with it all considering... life events and heartbreak.

❤️

Ss

[[Ju...]]

Translator --

 

You have done remarkably well.  I read your signature and was impressed that you are doing so very well from C/T.

 

By "weak" do you mean fatigued?  Fatigue is virtually my only symptom on a day-to-day basis.  I have had some nausea when I am out on the town, which is scary, but I haven't had anything embarrassing happen.

 

I just feel tired out sometimes, and that is what I would call "weak."  Is this what you mean?  Our age might have something to do with the symptoms that present themselves.

[[tr...]]

Julianna and Suffering: Thank you for your reply, you are absolutely amazing! I did CT x 2, and it may make it worse. I'm extremely weak, can only sit on the couch. Can not do any work here at home, and it makes me stressed, because I live alone. Now, I have been lying on the bed for 27 months, and 3 months on the couch. So, my fitness is not the best. Trying easier training, but getting worse. Thank you again!

 

 

 

 

[[Ju...]]

If you have moved from the bed to the couch, you are over the worst of it, I think.  Do you feel yourself improving at all?

 

Do you have windows of time when you feel better, yet?

[[Ju...]]

I'm going to bump this thread back up.  I have been on Valium all of my adult life, and I am just hoping that my life will stabilize when I am off it.  Are any others long-term users of a benzo?  I am doing holds, thinking that that is the only way to have a good life and still get off.

[[Su...]]

I'm going to bump this thread back up.  I have been on Valium all of my adult life, and I am just hoping that my life will stabilize when I am off it.  Are any others long-term users of a benzo?  I am doing holds, thinking that that is the only way to have a good life and still get off.

Well I used Xanax continuously for 18 years, and had been on and off scripts of benzos since my first one month script of valium at age 20.

When I look back at some things i think that I was in benzo w/d without knowing it, and using a daily glass of wine to deal with the mind bending anxiety that would strike around 5:00pm.  And then that affected sleep As did the benzos w/d!  Wild when I think of it, as the insomnia led to more benzo use etc etc...

 

I'm a big believer in long holds. I'm on day 26 of this one and am feeling pretty good!  Actually really good, with some minor blips.

 

I have this theory that those of us who went into some kind of CNS overload that led to some interdose w/d while still on benozs need to get to a place where the CNS can rest.... I think that coming off so much Xanax so quickly simply kept my CNS simmering (boiling over at points!)

I intend to hold until my CNS really settles down.  i hope it does.  Like it did for the first 17 years of my Xanax use -- before all hell broke lose..

 

I wish all of us long-term users -- and everyone else too -- the best, easiest symptoms based tapers.....

:smitten:

SS

 

[[Su...]]

68 here. Didn't know the word taper existed. I detoxed back in 1979 from benzos and barbiturates after using them for approximately 12 years for anxiety. The withdrawal at that time lasted for around 6 months or so, although can't be sure. I do remember that I had a very full and wonderful life! No idea how, but I did and I took benzos for a very long time. This time I knew nothing about tapering, and really wanted to stop using these horrible pills, primarily because they weren't working anymore. I still felt anxiety between the times I took Ativan. I didn't want to up the dose. So March 15th, here in NY, I went into Mt Sinai St Lukes Hospital, where I was detoxed. I also stayed for rehab which was a saving grace. The initial w/d would have been more comfortable, I believe with tapering, but this w/d after the w/d, or as I like to call to call it, PAWS, post acute withdrawal syndrome, would basically have been the same. I keep beating myself up over this, thinking you should have known better, but I also met someone resently who wasnt a long time user, very young, slow taperer, and having an excruciatingly hard time. From all the posts I've read, and I need to be very careful because I freak out and think I'm going to get all these new horror stories, pick and choose which ones I read. As awful as my symptoms are, they're below in my profile, I have moments of laughter. Thank goodness for my dark humor. Can't get any darker then withdrawal.

[[Ju...]]

Sue --

 

You did it the hard way with a detox, but you are past that now, and I hope that you will soon turn the corner to something grand.

 

[[Ba...]]

Hi there.  I'm 66...

 

really need some input. I'm all alone and the one person who sometimes helped me make drs. appts and such won't be here much longer; he is neighbor. There is uber but have been so anxious/fearful going with someone I knew made the difference. Also knowing I could phone and chat-- even though he is not always most pleasant person to talk to, made me feel more 'connected.'.My 'best' friend, who is an hour and a half away, thinks I should move to assisted living, although with my sleep schedule/noise prob (PRIOR to benzos), I can't imagine this. My house too small for a roommate, i700 square feet one tiny bathroom. Any ideas? Thx.  Oh-- and my 'best' friend has not visited me once in 2 1/2 years....

[[Ma...]]

Hi there.  I'm 66...

 

really need some input. I'm all alone and the one person who sometimes helped me make drs. appts and such won't be here much longer; he is neighbor. There is uber but have been so anxious/fearful going with someone I knew made the difference. Also knowing I could phone and chat-- even though he is not always most pleasant person to talk to, made me feel more 'connected.'.My 'best' friend, who is an hour and a half away, thinks I should move to assisted living, although with my sleep schedule/noise prob (PRIOR to benzos), I can't imagine this. My house too small for a roommate, i700 square feet one tiny bathroom. Any ideas? Thx.  Oh-- and my 'best' friend has not visited me once in 2 1/2 years....

 

I'm sorry this is happening.  The only thing I can think of is maybe trying to make a connection with an uber driver and maybe get to use the same one most of the time.  Uber is better than a bus.  Also , if you have Medicaid, maybe they will pay to have someone pick you up .  I feel bad, I wish I had more ideas.

[[bo...]]

Hi there.  I'm 66...

 

really need some input. I'm all alone and the one person who sometimes helped me make drs. appts and such won't be here much longer; he is neighbor. There is uber but have been so anxious/fearful going with someone I knew made the difference. Also knowing I could phone and chat-- even though he is not always most pleasant person to talk to, made me feel more 'connected.'.My 'best' friend, who is an hour and a half away, thinks I should move to assisted living, although with my sleep schedule/noise prob (PRIOR to benzos), I can't imagine this. My house too small for a roommate, i700 square feet one tiny bathroom. Any ideas? Thx.  Oh-- and my 'best' friend has not visited me once in 2 1/2 years....

 

 

 

Actually BarbaraAnn .. my idea would be yes! Move to some other style  of living . I understand about sleep issues / and other such issues only too well which make living alone seem more preferable , but it doesn't seem it is for you ? You are in the third act of your life , like us all , and you want it to be the best it can be .. you are certainly not happy with where you are in your life. I've read your posts carefully and with empathy and it seems like you have very few options where you are living.

With much compassion I feel like it time to suggest you take as much control of your life as is possible .  Your 'best' friend has not visited for over two years? You are communicating with a neighbour who is sometimes unpleasant ? You deserve and are better than that.. 

You are doing the best you can for yourself , so keep doing that ..

Where I live there are places that have 'independant / assisted living' meaning that you get help with all the things you need ie doctor's appointments etc but yet you still live independently ... is that some sort of an option?

I write this with compassion and a genuine attempt to suggest ideas. I can hear your unhappiness in your posts . Try to turn that energy into sorting the situation you are in to a better lifestyle .obviously none of us here know each others circumstances completely , but if your friend who knows you is suggesting assisted living facilities then perhaps that is possible ? I would just like you to look forwRd to something better rather than focusing on what you haven't got right now ..

take care BB