The Klonopin Klub#2

[[In...]]

Esperanza,

 

As I reiterated on the LHSG, you need to wait longer than one day to feel the effects of an updose of K. This tapering business is no fun whatsoever. I’m not surprised you feel depressed because depression is a common with drawl sx of benzos. And as you said, clonazepam has affected you badly from the first time you took it.

 

I’ve heard of others say that clonazepam caused their voice to be hoarse and raspy, so I think it probably affects several people that way. When I want to know if others are feeling something like that, I google “Benzo Buddies hoarse voice,” and that brings up several different threads from BB where a particular sx like that is discussed, and you can read them.

 

If you do that, you might find a lot of people who have sx like you have.

[[es...]]

Thanks, Intend, it is absolutely amazing the number of side effects these drugs cause. It is also amazing that doctors are so unaware. I told my doctor that I either have 5-6 serious or terminal diseases or it is the one thing that all my symptoms have in common-klonopin!  He was not impressed. Nor was he interested in learning from me. If he had been m I never would have gotten to the place of tolerance. But, that is the usual scenario for most of us. I am glad a few members have found better caregivers. Maybe someday. Wishing you a good tomorrow, Esperanza

[[NJ...]]

Oh my gosh, Intend. I have had voice changes(raspy) on and off for years. Is that just one more thing it does? I am still trying to figure out how to get through this. I tried a small updose of 10% yesterday. It has not helped at all. I had planned to do long holds, but if I am totally non functional, I don’t know how I can get through several years and possibly more time after the taper. The depression and anxiety is crippling me. It came in waves when I reached tolerance, so I at least got a break. Some of you already know I am dealing with a family crisis now and I am not able to do what I need to do. I have a new taper for 5% cut of remaining dose to start when I am able. I tapered to fast in the beginning and am unsure if that is why I have no windows or if I am not going to get any because I was already withdrawing during tolerance(I would not increase the dose as I was advised). My family needs me and I am scared.  Please weigh in, anyone who wishes. Uni, what do u think? Esperanza(is losing it fast)

 

Esperanza,

 

I would not continue to taper if you are in a bad place. See a few more days if the updose helps. You can always go up more. Again, it is hard to give advice without a signature; it would be great if you could create one.

[[Un...]]

Esperanza,

 

I agree with NJ.  I would also hold for a while to see if the updose helps.  It took me a month to hold my updose.  Things may be revved up because of your family crisis right now, too.  Maybe once you can get through that and you hold your updose, you will feel more stable and can think about starting to taper. 

 

I’m also in a rough patch and holding right now.  Wishing you strength and sending lots of love.

 

Uni

[[es...]]

Love to all of you, Esperanza

[[In...]]

Esperanza,

 

I said this same thing yesterday. You should give yourself longer than a day or so to feel the effects of an updose.

 

Having said that, I know you’ve never felt good on this drug, and only had several times over the long time you’ve taken it where you felt barely normal if I’ve understood correctly. Not everybody will feel fine on any psychiatric drug, and the same is true of benzos.

 

But just to get to a place where you had that barely normal feeling again, you do need to give yourself more time. Stability doesn’t necessarily mean you feel wonderful; it can mean your sx on the drug are fairly steady. Most likely you’ve already experienced some significant withdrawl from the drug since that first big cut you mentioned. I’m not sure when that happened, but I’m guessing it was at least a month or more. So hold on that updose for awhile. And if you need another one to steady your sx, do one.

 

And yes, that hoarse voice thing has happened to others here. I just google “Benzo Buddies hoarse voice” and 5 separate threads came up. You can try that with any sx you might have.

[[ce...]]

Extreme neck pain?

[[In...]]

You are 2 months off according to signature.

 

Most likely a post withdrawl sx. Give yourself some time to fully recover.

 

[[no...]]

I actually found a local doctor who does Ashton taper switching from klonopin to valium. Not sure is actually a good idea at this point but am going to talk to him Thursday. He's pricey as out of network and individual. I'm curious if he's had patients who have had trouble tapering...

 

I'm about done with my 5 week hold. I actually had a fantastic day yesterday... best in months... not too bad today. No anxiety at all was so wonderful. A nice break.

 

I've also found a therapist a mile away who specializes in anxiety. She's not sure she can help but we had first meeting last week and am meeting this afternoon. I told her I wasn't interested in talking about my childhood. Things were fine before my medical problems started in October. I want to work on techniques.

 

 

[[In...]]

nolongeranxiousbut, if you’re doing well, and have enough of your Tevas left to get through this, then it might be a waste of money. But if you have the money for that, it never hurts to ask questions of a doctor that does this Ashton style and knows about Ashton.

 

Your ideas about therapy sound great.

[[no...]]

hi Intend,

 

I'm not sure I'll do anything. I'm very concerned about switching to a valium. I see plenty of folk have trouble with that too.. stay with the devil you know and my withdrawal symptoms aren't that bad compared to some... I haven't been nauseous the last 6 months for example.

 

But I thought it would be interesting to hear what he has to say. My sister is also pushing for me to talk to someone with 'experience' compared to my nice but clueless pdoc. She keeps letting me know that she thinks I should be off in less than 2 months from now. I actually saw her today (6 week check in) and she was fine to hear that I was going to talk to someone else. She's actually been reading up on my taper problems and also isn't sure I want to switch to valium at this point. She's willing to keep writing the compounded prescriptions as I need them and let me control the taper speed.

[[In...]]

nolongeranxiousbut,

 

You’re doing great. I can tell because you’re in the mood to explore things now. You are on your way back!

 

You have a good doctor who is also exploring. People who are doing good want to get out there again.

 

It’s true that Valium makes many people unwell while others do very well on it.

 

I’m glad that your doctor is reading up on all this, and is so open minded. Please let us know what the new guy says. I’m very curious.

[[NJ...]]

I see my pdoc tomorrow where I am going to ask her to prescribe brand name klonopin--will be $100/month, will be worth it if my symptoms don't flare. I actually really cannot have symptoms flare now with starting a new job soon. Could not find tevas anywhere. Trying to stay positive! So hard to do though ....

[[...]]

I see my pdoc tomorrow where I am going to ask her to prescribe brand name klonopin--will be $100/month, will be worth it if my symptoms don't flare. I actually really cannot have symptoms flare now with starting a new job soon. Could not find tevas anywhere. Trying to stay positive! So hard to do though ....

I have had great luck with brand name klonopin.  It also cost me more $$$ but I think well worth it.

[[no...]]

Well, I might have failed out of therapy today. First meeting since the introductory one. I apparently couldn't explain well enough that my anxiety when I get it is mostly fight or flight feeling with physical in stomach, sometimes chest, sometimes head with

possibly fuzzy head. She must have asked me a dozen times... couldn't come up with more.. and what am I thinking of when I feel anxious... that I feel anxious and it sucks and that my stomach hurts... apparently that wasn't enough either.... I've already done so much research on my own that she didn't have one new thought for the whole hour. She said she felt like she was on trial... For $175 out of pocket an hour she sort of was... we didn't schedule a next appointment... will think about it. I was really hoping she could help with the increased anxiety since I tried the micro taper last month.

[[In...]]

Well, she sounds like a “not so good” therapist to me. The things you described sound to me like you explained your anxiety well enough.

 

She probably doesn’t get benzo w/d. It’s different than anxiety w/o benzos involved. But I think you explained it well.

 

People easily get put on benzos because of the way you described your sx.

 

I’ve always heard that finding the right therapist for anyone is difficult. You may have to try out several other ones before you find one for you.

[[Un...]]

nolonger,

 

Sounds like the therapist you saw needs to do some homework on benzos, if you were to see her again.  If you don’t, I really hope you find one that is fitting for you.  The first couple of times with my therapist had me doubting she could help or understand, since she had no knowledge of benzo WD.  But, by the third time she was very helpful and continues to be.  She’s actually learning from me about this, so we focus of coping skills, triggers, acceptance and she reassured me I’m moving forward even when I feel hopeless (like lately).  It’s been helpful to have her support, for me.  So, I hope you do find someone that works well with you.  Maybe you could bring in the Ashton pages about withdrawl symptoms? 

[[In...]]

Good advice, Uni.

 

I had the same experience with a man I still call “Mr. know it all.” Found another one in same practice who knew nothing of benzos, but was willing to listen. Was eager to learn also.

 

Sometimes it’s a matter of almost an interview type situation. It’s not cheap for sure, but when you find the right one, it’s worth it.

[[Un...]]

Yes, Intend. 

 

It really is worth it when you find the right one.  I’m so glad I gave it three weeks with my therapist because I almost gave up after the second session.  Breakthroughs happen, especially if they are open and willing to learning, as you said. 

 

I’ve been quiet because I’m struggling pretty badly, but have been following.  Thinking of everyone, daily. 

[[...]]

Yes, Intend. 

 

It really is worth it when you find the right one.  I’m so glad I gave it three weeks with my therapist because I almost gave up after the second session.  Breakthroughs happen, especially if they are open and willing to learning, as you said. 

 

I’ve been quiet because I’m struggling pretty badly, but have been following.  Thinking of everyone, daily.

Sorry to hear you are struggling Uni.

Remember, the bad times do pass.  The symptoms come and go.  Hang in there.  You will feel good again.

 

[[In...]]

So true Bob and Uni.

 

These waves come and go throughout the withdrawl process. No one likes it: it happens because benzo withdrawl is not linear; I guess a “wax and wane” process is what I think of.

 

[[Un...]]

Thank you so much, Bob and Intend:hug:

 

Means so much to me, truly.  Thank you for caring and reassuring me.  The benzo lies get REAL loud when in a wave.  And I wish I were able to work or do something meaningful during this time, so as to not be consumed by all the thoughts and feelings.  Can't wait to be functioning and part of the world again.  In time...

 

Intend, that's what I say when describing symptoms and how they behave...  they wax and wane.  Gotta hold onto the belief that they do wane.  It's a good sign I'm able to post again, so that's something. 

 

So grateful for all of you.

[[Du...]]

Uni, sorry about the way you are feeling. I am feeling the same way lately, my waves have been getting longer and worse as time goes on when I was thinking it would be getting better. Hang in there Uni we got this! Gonna be stronger than ever when this is over and ready to tackle any challenge ahead of us with ease.

[[In...]]

Dub and Uni,

 

The fact that you are both posting IS a good indication of recovery. It’s a BIG “something.”

[[Un...]]

Dub,

 

I’m sorry you’re experiencing the same thing with waves.  I thought so, too...  that it would get a little better, more stable I guess.  Thank you for your encouragement - yes, I love that attitude of “we got this!”  And really needed to hear that!    It will be a magnanimous feat to get beyond this and be stronger and happier.  Hanging in with ya! 

 

Intend,

 

You’re right!  I was so quiet for a while just reading and unable to post.  Maybe Dub has been in the same spot.  We are posting, so that really is something!  Thank you for pointing this out because it’s an accomplishment in itself to be able to interact.