New 12-18 Month Buddy Group

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It's hard to fathom that maybe that's true.

 

 

I wish my heart sx would go away and my sleep would return.  Those are the 2 lasting, persistent sx I need to fuck off.  hahahaha

[[ml...]]

Hi guys...yes me too geek, the heart stuff and weird vibration's have hung on to some extent. Head pressure too at random times.

I also still have some mild tinnitus and face burning. I try to just ignore all of it now the best I can. There is nothing you can do, so going on with our day and life as we are able is what we have to do.

 

Its as you said Judy, wd saying...I'm STILL here!  :ticked off:

 

We really are getting there, every single day, just keep going, one day at time 

Lysa

[[so...]]

Thanks Lysa.  Today I was hit pretty hard.  Onward we go.

 

Love, Judy

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Thanks Lysa.  Today I was hit pretty hard.  Onward we go.

 

Love, Judy

 

[[so...]]

Haha, Geek.  Ain't it the truth?

 

 

[[MT...]]

Great pics Geek.

 

I'm sorry to hear Sofa that you're getting hit hard right now and the vibes, heart-farts, insomnia and paresthesias are playing with others.

 

I've been away from BB mostly hanging with a friend who was visiting. While I was nervous about being able to interact with this very dear friend for 3.5 half days, it went great. I'm tired but it feels like my head is on more straight. I only had one day while she was here and it was mostly the morning. So perhaps this is some normal life trying to squeeze in. Someday I want to feel up to traveling again, or not dreading it when I absolutely have to.

[[ml...]]

Lol on the pics geek and aint THAT the truth!

 

MT, so good to hear your visit went well. I can understand. I too get so incredibly nervous in certain social situations. Im so afraid my brain wont work when I need to speak!! Its getting better and better, but some days I feel like a total dingbat...STILL... :'(

[[so...]]

MT,

 

You are climbing your way to freedom!  So happy to hear you had such a nice visit with your dear friend.  We will all heal from this.  God is pulling us all out of this pain.  He has said ENOUGH.  No longer will His innocent children suffer.  We are recovering.  Hold on everyone!  It will be over soon.

 

Love, Sofa

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Good Morning,  I will be off my last smidgen of Xanax for 17 months the 4th of February.  I am a senior in my 70's.  I am TONS better than I was a year ago.  I have days when all is great and days when all is not so great.  I was actually doing better at a year off than I am now.  I cannot decide if my discomfort is age related (arthritis) or still withdrawal related.  It sort of seems like that if I am having arthritis pain and take ibuprofen, I feel better for a day or two but then have electric shocks again at night in my spine and legs.  The electric shocks seem to cause cramping in my legs and ankles.  Just not sure what is going on.

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MT,

 

You are climbing your way to freedom!  So happy to hear you had such a nice visit with your dear friend.  We will all heal from this.  God is pulling us all out of this pain.  He has said ENOUGH.  No longer will His innocent children suffer.  We are recovering.  Hold on everyone!  It will be over soon.

 

Love, Sofa

 

You know.  I'm not a religious man.  More of a heathen.  My wife is Catholic. The religious speak doesn't offend me though. I feel it can have a very positive effect on some peoples lives.  Maybe if I had faith it would  be something to hold onto during this process.  The wife heads off to church on Sundays with the boy sometimes while I take an hour of quiet time.  Sometimes I go with her and watch.

 

The list just goes on and on for us.  Work problems,  dog died, health problems, money problems, house problems, relationship problems, family problems, toddler problems. 

 

Every time something new comes up we just shake our head now.  We don't have the energy to care.    "Just keep getting kicked when we are down" as we say.  2 years ago things were so different.  Easy. Lots of energy.

 

Now.  So tired - of everything.

 

If there is a god, he sure is testing us. 

 

Things will get better, by my own hand - if no one elses.

 

I'm a firm believer in 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. 

 

 

[[so...]]

Geek,

 

I understand completely.  EVERYTHING.  I just need to believe in something that can pull me out of this.  I sure haven't been able to.  We will all heal regardless.

 

How are you doing these days?  Symptoms getting easier?

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Welcome KB!

 

It's good to have you here.  I'm a senior too.  Not easy to manage this WD at any age, but you sound like you're making great progress.  We will help each other through this last leg.  Anything you want to post, good or bad, is welcome and, hopefully, we can support you on the crummy days and celebrate with you on your better days.

 

Love and healing wishes to you,

 

Sofa

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Thank you Sofa,  I read your 2nd post here and so enjoyed your sense of humor about this withdrawal process.  So glad you have your Opie to keep you company.  My various pets have kept me going even when I did not think I could take another step.  How do we seniors figure out what is from being older from what is withdrawal ?  Or does it even matter...... Hugs..........

[[so...]]

Kb,

 

Well, I've had knee surgery and a spinal fusion, so I can pretty much tell which is normal aches and pains from out of this world withdrawal stuff.  My symptoms are:  3am cortisol surges, heart racing, heart palps, heartbeat head whooshing, looping intrusive thoughts (mostly that I'll never heal), bouts of depression (who wouldn't be depressed over this?) and high anxiety.  Never had any of this intl the day after I jumped CT.  I have to assume, since I was never like this before, it's WD.  The upside is, if you didn't have it before WD, you won't have it after WD.  Or so they say.

 

How about you?

 

Sofa

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Sofa,  I lived a very active life until the fall of 2013.  I hiked four miles each weekday morning with my aussie Rocky.  One day I went up and my legs started hurting so badly that I have never been able to hike again.  I do have arthritis but it never bothered me enough to keep me from hiking.  I was taking my Xanax erratically at this time and had never heard of tolerance withdrawal.  I thought there was no way I could become addicted to this drug when I never increased my tiny 0.25 dose.  My worst withdrawal came after I jumped in Sept of 2014.  My feet hurt so badly I cut the tongues out of my tennis shoes and could not tolerate shoe laces.  It was so difficult to walk, I thought I would end up in a wheel chair.  I could not carry a bag of groceries or trash.  I had to take items to the washing machine a few pieces of clothing at a time.  I am an avid gardener but hired help for the first time in my life.  I had unbelievable bouts of anger thankfully directed at objects.  I just about killed a brand new vacuum.  The anger frightened me.  I was so fatigued day and night.  But oddly even though I had suffered from insomnia for years, I started sleeping better at night than I had since shortly after starting the Xanax.  I have leg and ankle pain that my Dr. tells me is from arthritis.  Well, maybe it is but it did not bother me like this before.  If I take ibuprofen for the pain, I start having zaps and cramps in my spine and legs.  I have come a long way but still have a ways to go.  I understand how badly you want this nightmare to end.  I want it to also.  I guess we just keep on keeping on. It is so helpful to have people to share with that understand.  Thank you Sofa

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Geek,

 

How are you doing these days?  Symptoms getting easier?

 

Love, Sofa

 

not horrible.  sleep still sucks, heart is doing its thing.  fatigued. 

 

I think I'm going to start sleep restriction therapy in an attempt to restore my sleep cycle.

[[so...]]

Good idea, Geek.  Is your sleep non-existent? not enough? intermittent?  early am wake ups? difficult to fall asleep?

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Kb,

 

This pain definitely sounds like WD, not age or arthritis.  You were an avid hiker before all this WD nonsense and you will be again.  Pain is a symptom for many people in WD and it's much more intense and debilitating than normal pain.  Having to take the tongues and laces out of your shoes means you are in a high level of pain, which means it's WD IMO.  You'll get back to your normal self in no time.  Hang in there.

 

Love, Sifa

[[ml...]]

Hi guys...catching up on the last couple days. ONE YEAR OFFICIALLY today! I snuck in here a couple weeks early, cause I could taste it, well now its official, I have that year from hell behind me, instead of in front of me. 

 

There really are now words to describe...I put a post over on the benzo free celebration board, that explains it all.

 

Popping in to say hi and send my encouragement and prayers to you all. Welcome Kb too 

 

You all just keep on keeping on...just for today and pretty soon, lots more "today's" will be behind you.

 

Lysa

 

 

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good job ml.  congrats on the 1 year mark!    this is the year you heal!

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Good idea, Geek.  Is your sleep non-existent? not enough? intermittent?  early am wake ups? difficult to fall asleep?

 

Sofa

 

Well, generally speaking I don't have a huge issue falling asleep although there are occasions where that happens.  There are the occasional night where I just won't sleep at all but they are getting fewer and far between.

 

Everything else you said rings true for me.  My sleep is patchy.  I wake after frequently after 4:30. Then I'm usually up around 7 because that's around the time the kid wakes up.

 

 

SRT is supposed to be crumby to go through but I feel like if I could fix my patchy sleep things could be so much better.  I know of another buddy on the forums here that did SRT at around this stage.  I'm going to contact her and see what exactly the protocol was.

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Mlmagic, Congratulations on the 1 year mark.  :clap:  Milestones are so important !  Yes, we just keep on keeping on !

 

[[MT...]]

Hi Buddies.

 

How is everyone today?

 

Welcome kb45. Those of us who are older all struggle with that "Is it withdrawal or is it age" issue. I also have CFS so I'm not clear what's still that but since getting off the poison I'm able to be more active than I was....that's not saying much in some ways.

 

Congrats to crossing the 12 month threshold ml.

 

Geek, I've noticed that people who are able to get some sleep do well on SRT. It doesn't work on the crew of us that do so many zero nights or microsleep only nights. Let us know how it goes.

 

I look forward to when we can all feel good, sleep, think clearly, our hearts are quiet and slow, and we can suck the marrow out of life again. It will happen.

 

MT

[Guest [IB...]]

Sorry to hear about the wave Geek. Sofa's right. It's hard to know when we're getting an arbitrary wave and when something we did set it off. It's too easy to blame ourselves here. Now, if you'd knocked back a  12 pack of beer, energy drinks, lived on chocolate bars and tried to run a marathon in your skivvies, you'd have some reason to very closely examine your actions Hang in there until you get some clear skies again. It will happen.

 

MT

 

hahahaha.  I used to do that kind of crap to myself.  With the exception of running marathons in skivvies.  I always preferred naked.  hahahahaha

 

http://www.holistichelp.net/blog/how-to-increase-gaba-and-balance-glutamate/         

 

This article actually specifically mentions bone-broth as having really HIGH concentrations of Glutamate.    I think there's something to it. 

 

 

 

 

 

Anywho

 

 

 

Glad your feeling better today Sofa.  My cortisol rushing has stopped again.  It did come back breifly when I dipped under baseline. Again, I'm attributing that to the bone broth now.

 

I know exactly what it's going to take for me to turn the health corner.  When my sleep becomes fully restful, is when it's going to get better.  I wake up too much still in the early am.    Sleep is still broken.  When my sleep sorts itself out, is when my heart rhythm/palps symptoms will correct I'm sure of it.

 

I'm shooting for 14 months but I'm not going to get all bent out of shape if it ends up being 16.

 

Hi. I'm normally on on this thread as I'm a protracted WD member but I did s quick search on this site in bone broth. I sure wish I knew this before I sucked down a cup of homemade bone broth for 5 days in a row last week. I've been slammed with a massive wave and am basically dibilitated on the couch from being fully functional. I couldn't figure out what did this to me until I thought long and hard and realized the bone broth is new to me. I'd stay away from it  not all healthy things are good for those of us in WD.

[[ml...]]

good job ml.  congrats on the 1 year mark!    this is the year you heal!

 

Thank you G and I agree! Its like the first year is just surviving it all and finally catching your breath after so much trauma and sickness that it takes the first year just to grasp it all. Good LORD, who could possibly have known what we signed up for when our Doc said, "Here is an RX, takes this, it will help." 

 

I'm still shocked at how this crap is handed out. I just had lunch with a friend yesterday and she had  just been given an rx for ativan. I pleaded with her to do some research and think again. I believe I helped to spare another unsuspecting victim. I pray I did.