New 12-18 Month Buddy Group

[[ml...]]

Mlmagic, Congratulations on the 1 year mark.  :clap:  Milestones are so important !  Yes, we just keep on keeping on !

 

Thank you Kb 

[[ml...]]

Hi Buddies.

 

How is everyone today?

 

Welcome kb45. Those of us who are older all struggle with that "Is it withdrawal or is it age" issue. I also have CFS so I'm not clear what's still that but since getting off the poison I'm able to be more active than I was....that's not saying much in some ways.

 

Congrats to crossing the 12 month threshold ml.

 

Geek, I've noticed that people who are able to get some sleep do well on SRT. It doesn't work on the crew of us that do so many zero nights or microsleep only nights. Let us know how it goes.

 

I look forward to when we can all feel good, sleep, think clearly, our hearts are quiet and slow, and we can suck the marrow out of life again. It will happen.

 

MT

 

Thank you MT  Onward we go...

[[...]]

good job ml.  congrats on the 1 year mark!    this is the year you heal!

 

I'm still shocked at how this crap is handed out. I just had lunch with a friend yesterday and she had  just been given an rx for ativan. I pleaded with her to do some research and think again. I believe I helped to spare another unsuspecting victim. I pray I did.

 

I know exactly what you mean.

 

I am on a soap box about this for anybody who asks about my problems and reveals to me they are on these poisons.

 

"But my doctor says I won't have any issues"

 

And then we follow it up with....

 

 

 

 

[[ml...]]

No kidding...a picture is worth a thousand words 

[[so...]]

Congrats, Lysa, on one year!

 

Onward we go.  Got slammed this morning.  Not lasting all day this time.  Hope everyone is looking through a window.

 

Love, Judy

[[Bu...]]

Hello friends,

 

I've been busy with life and work, but wanted to pop in and say hi. Sounds like we are all trudging on. I'm just so tired of this. I feel like a complete zombie at work. Luckily I don't have to interact with a lot people. Hope you all are having an okay day. Oh, I love the Benzo pics! The Lion King one is great!

 

hugs,

Bubbles

[[MT...]]

 

SRT is supposed to be crumby to go through but I feel like if I could fix my patchy sleep things could be so much better.  I know of another buddy on the forums here that did SRT at around this stage.  I'm going to contact her and see what exactly the protocol was.

 

Geek, if you're looking for an official CBT-i program, UVA has an all on-line version called shuti:

http://sites.fastspring.com/shuti/product/shuticommercial

 

I went through it 13 months ago and have known others who have and found it helpful. It was tremendously good for changing some of my attitudes and behaviors around sleep (especially reframing and decatastrophizing). The sleep restriction thing requires that you are able to at least sleep some but if that is present it is powerful. Good luck with this.

 

12-18 monthers, I feel like a mess. The past two days have been anxiety, depression and I-suckitis marinade. At work yesterday I just wanted to leave or crawl under my desk. I feel so inadequate, which leads to anxiety and snowballs into depression. I have to work again tomorrow but it looks like an easier day. Today it's hard to find courage.

[[Bu...]]

MT,

 

It is so incredibly difficult to have to work throughout this process. It's a double edged sword. Work is good because it's a distraction, and helps to pass the time during this SLOW healing process. But it's also a huge challenge for all the reasons you mention. I see all the things I could be doing better at with work. But I have the ability to do is the bare minimum. I'm irritable. When problems arise at work, I get so incredibly stressed out. I'm angry. I'm anti social. I wonder if my co-workers notice anything. I hide it pretty well. Luckily my boss knows what is going on, and he's very understanding. I've had to leave early on some days. It really does a number on self-esteem. Hang there MT. I'm off to a work meeting now!

 

Bubbles

[[so...]]

MT and Bubbles,

 

What helped me was realizing that the mental symptoms are as real as the physical ones.  It is all about our brains in repair mode and not yet working harmoniously with the rest of our endocrine systems, adrenal systems, hormones, organs, etc., all of which tie into our psychological, emotional and cognitive states.  It is purely and simply a temporary state of physical chemical imbalances in our brains not playing nicely together.  We are under construction, unfinished, in recovery. 

 

You are not a mess.  Telling yourself that you are is making it real.  Tell yourself you are healing, this is temporary, you will recover from this.  Say it over and over again, then repeat it.

 

We will all heal from this temporary condition.  Complete recovery is the inevitable outcome of the withdrawal process.

 

My arms are around your shoulders, MT and Bubbles.  We will all hold you up when you cannot do it yourselves.  We are here for you, reaching out, loving you, knowing you will heal 100%.

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

Think about how lucky we are.  We don't have a disease or a brain injury.  We will heal 100% from all this and never look back.  Yes, TIME is the only healer, and it's a real slow-as-refrigerated-molasses bitch, but TIME will eventually heal us all.

 

We are the lucky ones.  The unlucky ones are those billions of people still on psyche drugs who feel miserable and haven't figured out why they feel so sick.  Their doctors are too ignorant and greedy and arrogant to help them.  They haven't found this forum.  They are all alone with no direction and no support. 

 

We have hope.  We are off the drugs that got us into this mess.  Our brains are repairing.  We have a fighting chance to live beautiful fulfilling lives.  We are going to heal and move on into the sunlight.

 

Love, Sofa

[[ml...]]

Buddies,

 

Think about how lucky we are.  We don't have a disease or a brain injury.  We will heal 100% from all this and never look back.  Yes, TIME is the only healer, and it's a real slow-as-refrigerated-molasses bitch, but TIME will eventually heal us all.

 

We are the lucky ones.  The unlucky ones are those billions of people still on psyche drugs who feel miserable and haven't figured out why they feel so sick.  Their doctors are too ignorant and greedy and arrogant to help them.  They haven't found this forum.  They are all alone with no direction and no support. 

 

We have hope.  We are off the drugs that got us into this mess.  Our brains are repairing.  We have a fighting chance to live beautiful fulfilling lives.  We are going to heal and move on into the sunlight.

 

Love, Sofa

 

Amen sofa! 

[[MT...]]

Sofa,

 

You are an incredibly kind and wise woman. We do have much to be thankful for and this is a temporary situation. It is helpful to talk to our brains with compassion and tell them we are thankful for them and that they're doing a beautiful job of healing. We'll break through the molasses  and into the light ultimately. We all get glimpses now.

 

Looking forward to dancing in the light (without the anxiety of today).

 

MT

[[Bu...]]

Sofa,

 

Thank so much for kind and supportive words. It was really nice to read that today. I was also just thinking about how lucky we all are to be getting off of this Benzo crap. I really wonder how many people are in tolerance withdrawal and have no idea. How many people have never been told that the Ashton manual even exists? How many people don't even know about Benzo Buddies? I feel blessed that I was only on Ativan for three and a half years before I realized what it was doing to me. Some people may spend the rest of their lives in tolerance withdrawal. That's a tragedy. But it's a tragedy that we won't be a part of. We may be suffering right now, but we're on our way out of this hell hole. And for that, we are all truly lucky.

 

Thinking of you all,

Bubbles

[[Sa...]]

Sofa,

 

Thanks for the reminder to count our blessings.  You have always been so supportive and kind.

Thank you

Wish you a good day today

 

[[...]]

Hey Valgirl1

 

First of all, congratulations on making it to the 6 month mark.  So glad to hear your doing well.  That's got to feel pretty good! 

 

Just a heads up.  Your posting the the group for 12-18 monthers.  Having said that, obviously everyone is welcome to post where they like.  You've found the best group of people on the forum to chat with! (self designated) 

[[so...]]

Hey Buddies,

 

Yesterday I was thrown back into a wave of acute symptoms like the "old" days.  Pffft!  It lasted all day!  Got very scared.  Settled down in the evening as usual.  Today back to the same cortisol yucks as usual, but without the horror of yesterday.

 

Onward, buddies.  We will get to the healed door soon!

 

Love, Sofa

[[...]]

Sofa,  Hope you have a much better day today than you did yesterday.  I feel much better most afternoons.  And I have so much to do each morning !  Onward and upward, right ?  :smitten:

[[so...]]

KB,

 

Yep!  We just need to keep hobbling toward the healing door, one sluggish step at a time.  We will get there and, whoever gets to the door first, please leave it a crack open for the rest of us!

 

Love, Sofa

[[Ba...]]

Bubbles,

 

I've often wondered the same thing.

 

Sofa,

 

A wave is so scary! I hope you are doing much better.

[[so...]]

Thanks Bailey.  I just finished reading your Blog.  Wow you are strong!  Hang in there.  You will make it through the healing door.

 

Love, Sofa

[[MT...]]

Hi buddies. How is your Friday going?

 

Sofa, sorry to hear about your wave. Do they last all day for you? Cortisol really needs to leave the building. All of our buildings. Or perhaps we can leave it and stride (maybe even dance) out that door that is waiting for each and every one of us.

 

Today I had a chocolate attack and had german chocolate cake and frozen yogurt. I've been doing so well with sweets but the chocolate siren call was singing so sweetly and hypnotically. Some days I just gotta surrender to their beautiful voices.

[[...]]

I can resist a lot of foods but not chocolate when I crave it. I love 85% dark chocolate!

[[Ba...]]

Sofa,

 

Thanks for reading my blog. I am hanging in there

[[ml...]]

Hi guys...I hope you are all plugging along. I know you are, because you are all winners and vets here on this board! 

 

I had a question, because I am feeling really good most days now, but I still seem to be dealing with this darn cortisol thing.

Can you guys that deal with this, describe how it affects you nd when? Just trying to compare whats going on with it.

 

Mine is mostly at night and when I am trying to sleep and also sleeping. It will wake me up when its really a rotten night. It seems to be triggered by sleep, and waking up. What do you all think and how does it mess with you?

 

Thanks for the input and love to all my BB 

 

Lysa

[[so...]]

Lysa,

 

My 3am cortisol wake up is, by far, my worst and relentless symptom.  Have had it since I jumped CT 15 months ago.  People say it leaves eventually so I'm holding onto that hope.

 

Judy