New 12-18 Month Buddy Group

[[ml...]]

Lysa,

 

My 3am cortisol wake up is, by far, my worst and relentless symptom.  Have had it since I jumped CT 15 months ago.  People say it leaves eventually so I'm holding onto that hope.

 

Judy

 

The cortisol thing seems to be my one remaining thing too. I have heard this from many others as well. Is it like a rushing up into your chest?

[[so...]]

Mine is racing heartbeat and head whooshing out of a dead sleep.

[[...]]

The cortisol thing will leave rest assured.

 

Mine has gone from being an everyday regular thing, to being an occasional things saved for the worst days.  I can probably count the number of times I've had it on 1 hand since it suddenly left in late december.

 

 

[[Ar...]]

Wonderful to hear that it will go away.  Been struggling with the anxious feeling it manifests in me.  Thank you.

[[ml...]]

Good to know G...since we are all a year out, some of us more, it helps to know this will go away. Its not everyday by any means, but it still creeps up and I HATE it!! Yes, I too Judy get the heart pounding/racing, rushing in head, chest area and a general ill at ease feeling in the center of my chest. YUCK!!!

 

I guess this is the last of the messed up chemicals that want to hang around 

 

Lets keep going troops!

 

 

[[co...]]

Boy I never thought I'd be here. I took xanax for panic attacks .25 mg 3-4 times a day for 3-4 months. I quit cold turkey because no one told me not to and I didn't like the side effects. I was bedridden for nearly six months in a living hell. I slowly started to get better and by a year had 80% of my life back. Then at Christmas, on Christmas day(!) I got hit with a bad wave that I am just now coming out of. 15 months I have suffered, 15 months!!! And I'm not healed yet. I am so hoping that was my last wave. I know others have had it worse, some had it better but we all have suffered. It is very hard to keep hope alive and I constantly wonder if I'll ever heal. I hate xanax like I've never hated anything in my life. Sorry to rant and thanks to all my buddies that have helped me through my darkest days. Here's to hoping we're all healed soon!

[[ml...]]

Boy I never thought I'd be here. I took xanax for panic attacks .25 mg 3-4 times a day for 3-4 months. I quit cold turkey because no one told me not to and I didn't like the side effects. I was bedridden for nearly six months in a living hell. I slowly started to get better and by a year had 80% of my life back. Then at Christmas, on Christmas day(!) I got hit with a bad wave that I am just now coming out of. 15 months I have suffered, 15 months!!! And I'm not healed yet. I am so hoping that was my last wave. I know others have had it worse, some had it better but we all have suffered. It is very hard to keep hope alive and I constantly wonder if I'll ever heal. I hate xanax like I've never hated anything in my life. Sorry to rant and thanks to all my buddies that have helped me through my darkest days. Here's to hoping we're all healed soon!

 

Hi confused. Your words could have been my own. We all know how hard this healing is and how horribly long it takes. We are one day, all going to look at this as a distant bad memory!

[[Sa...]]

Hello,

 

Just found this group. I am in my 14th months and i started to feel worse on friday and don t feel good now. I am emotional totally down...just can t believe i will ever heal

Just can t imagine that the pain, (nerve pain in my right leg) can t sleep because of this and keep walking at night.

Have a sharp pain in my stomach...is this normal?

Interstinal problems....often have the desire to start again to stop all this

[[so...]]

Welcome Confused,

 

Yeah this thing is soooooo tough, but we'll make it.  Not long to go now.  Hang on.  The waves will he less intense and fewer at this point. 

 

Thanks Geek for the reassurance.  I need it as we all do!

[[so...]]

Welcome Sandra,

 

Pull up a chair.  We are all here for you.  Our last leg of this buddies.  Hang on.

 

Love, Sofa

[[co...]]

You've come so far Sandra! Please don't give up and go back on these miserable drugs.

[[co...]]

So most of my physical symptoms are gone but I have insane tinnitus, head pressure like a band around my head, and like a whooshing sensation. Is that typical at this stage? I was starting to think something else was wrong.

[[ml...]]

So most of my physical symptoms are gone but I have insane tinnitus, head pressure like a band around my head, and like a whooshing sensation. Is that typical at this stage? I was starting to think something else was wrong.

 

I still have mild tinnitus and it actually started up in month 10! WEIRD...Just when you think its over 

It is getting milder and milder, I try to ignore it. I also had HORRIBLE head pressure, ear pressure, band etc. Thats all gone now with just a very seldom reminder of there is is again, only way less intense. More of an irritation. 

 

Look at it this way, if any sx resurface that were hallmark WD stuff, its still WD healing and likely nothing more. Especially if it comes and goes and lessens with intensity. Serious issues do not do that (IMO)

 

Everything you describe sounds just like classic WD stuff, its just not over yet in that particular area. Hang in there! As Judy said, this is about over now, we are all past a year now! Hallelujah!

 

Lysa

[[Ar...]]

Does anyone suffer from depersonalization from day to day?  Sometimes it seems like I am experiencing it and then not have it for a few days when it comes back.  Scary feeling, but I have read it will go away.  Very uncomfortable feeling.  I am 10 months benzo free.  Any suggestions would sure help me.  Thank you. 

[[co...]]

Thanks mlmagic! I really think the only lingering anxiety I have is from these issues. When I feel good there's no anxiety. I feel bad then get anxious, not the other way around.  I can't wait until we write our success stories but I'm not doing it unless I'm 100%. Arkansas1122 I had that in the middle of w/d around 6 months and then it faded and thankfully hasn't returned. I know how you feel, it was very disturbing and hard to explain, even to my wife, without getting that "Are you crazy?" stare. I can only tell you mine went away and I hope yours does soon.

[[MT...]]

This nightmarish healing journey, and the way BB support each other (like on this thread) reminds me of the Isaac Newton quote of "If I've seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." All of us here stand on the shoulders of the giants who have walked before us. They too felt like incapable dwarves. We don't have to be giants, able to think or be strong. We just know to get some clear vision and borrow strength from our fellow BB and we can make it. Then one day we'll be helping others climb on our shoulders.

[[so...]]

MT,

 

Your post was so inspiring.  Thank you.  I so needed it today.  My family was over for Super Bowl and I had to leave the house every half hour to walk down the street and smoke and pace.  High state of anxiety all day.  I hope this goes away and leaves me in peace someday.

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Confused,

 

The head whooshing has been with me since I jumped 15 months ago.  So has the 3am cortisol alarm.  Anxiety through the roof all day.  I just want peace.

 

Those who have healed says calm and peace come back eventually, so I suppose we just have to wait this out until it's over.  I've had worse days than today, but it's definitely not healed yet.  We will get there eventually, like all our predecessors.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Sa...]]

So most of my physical symptoms are gone but I have insane tinnitus, head pressure like a band around my head, and like a whooshing sensation. Is that typical at this stage? I was starting to think something else was wrong.

 

Sorry to hear with your tinnitus. Mine tinnitus started after a year suddenly...maybe it is the last part of healing?

[[Sa...]]

Did anybody of u have weight problems?

 

My weight is not going away at 14th month...i hope it does not sound weird but in addition to all my other symptoms this is very very hard for me......i am not really going out of the house because of this. Feel so incredible unconfortable

 

Any advice?

[[Ar...]]

Thanks for the encouragement confused1.  I appreciate all the help from my fellow BB.  I understand all the anxiety and hopeless feelings from time to time we all feel from this journey we are on.  Hearing what others have to say and deal with give me hope and understanding for myself.  Best wishes for all of you. 

 

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

[[Ar...]]

Sandraflower -Have you tried adding chia seeds to your diet.  They are high in protein and have lots of fiber.  Both needed for a healthy diet.  Read up on it and see what you think.  I eat them every morning with my oatmeal.  They have no taste.  Best of luck.  Keep going. 

[[co...]]

Sandraflower, I have gained around 20lbs. My diet is not bad I just eat more and move less because of depression. Everyday I think maybe today is the day I get on the treadmill but then I feel like crap and push it back. I've started intermittent fasting on Mondays and Fridays. Not fun but I have lost five lbs and I'm getting used to it. Good luck! Everyone else, thanks for the encouraging words!

[[...]]

Good Morning, 

 

Arkansas,  Love the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross quote.  I saw her speak back in the 1970's.  She was a magical lady. 

 

Confused,  I gained weight by eating more and moving less.  Eating was one of the few pleasurable activities during the worst of this.  I gained 10 pounds, lost 8 last fall, gained 4 back of the holidays.  So, I will start eating less.  (fingers crossed)

 

I have a consultation tomorrow to see about joining Curves for strength training.  I also am looking for a beginning yoga class.

 

Hugs to all,  KB

[[MT...]]

More love for the Kubler-Ross quote. I think we can choose to let wd show us the beauty that is all around us, in people, in the world, and even in ourselves.

 

Goof for you Kb, signing up for Curves and looking for yoga. With all of the motivation and mood issues that come with wd having somewhere you go with others to cheer you on is helpful. I go to an exercise class twice a week because it gets me through the door to lift weights before class. I seem to be able to get myself out the door to walk some other days of the week but the weights and the social interaction are crucial. I almost have some muscles now I find the exercise support group helpful and motivating too.