Extreme fatigue support page

[[...]]

Hello Buddies!

 

I don't get waves nor windows with fatigue, I have been "chronically exhausted" way before I started tapering and hope that one day I will get some relief, be able to do the things I like(d) - as opposed to ensuring my survival needs are met  :'( I feel quite distressed at the moment, the Holidays have been particularly exhausting on top of whatever is making me feel that way in my early thirties...

 

Brookevale, as you'll read in my signature I have been through anorexia and although my relationship with food & body image have improved a lot, I still feel more energetic every day before "breaking the fast". It is a tricky situation and I, like you, know that we need nutrients to heal and live... take care of yourself.

 

Hugs to all,

Julz xxx 

[[Mi...]]

Julz, I've always been chronically exhausted too. I just was able to work at my full-time job and, with my husband's help, raise a child. So I have few friends, hobbies or interests to fall back on now that I'm unemployed and practically bedridden with benzo withdrawal. I'd sure like to trade in my body for one with energy.

 

I hope you get through this okay and find some energy at the end.

 

MirandaJane

[[MT...]]

Julz, way to go beating the eating disorder. Those are tough to shake and so often leave some lingering issues. I've had them in my past two and have noticed the body image stuff creeping up more frequently in wd. It's like my psychological defense system is down.

 

MJ, I haven't been able to work FT since my early 20s but managed some periods of FT grad school in there. Sometimes I've felt like a loser for only being able to work 2 or 3 days per week my entire adult life. When my kids were still at home I had a bit of a cover story. CFS explains some but it still feels embarrassing to me. I hope one day I can function more. I'm with you that trading in this body for one with energy, one that could sleep too, would be great. How's the nausea and eating going?

 

MT

[[Mi...]]

MT fan - thanks for your support. My nausea comes and goes, but I keep eating and gaining about a pound a month, I'm up to 108 from 100 lbs a year ago. But the diet is monotonous and hard to force myself to eat sometimes. But the alternative is to starve to death. Who knew life could be so hard? My husband seems to sail through life. I guess some of us are just cursed. At least I have him. And my buddies.

 

Thanks again for your concern,

MirandaJane

[[MT...]]

MJ, now is a very challenging time for you. I hope it gives you comfort that this shouldn't be how the rest of your life will be. It's a long road but not endless. Getting off benzos will hopefully perk your gut up in time. Good job getting some weight back on under these circumstances

[[Lo...]]

Hi buddies , congratulations on getting your weight issues under control . I can imagine not eating right would substantially contribute to fatigue. I wish i could give you some of my weight as im on the other end of the spectrum and gained 10kg over this process. Amazing how WD affects some people in completely opposite ways.

 

Well its been a good week for me ,  twinges of anxiety during the day but enough energy to be on my feet most of the day too. Yesterday i loaded up the car trailer drove 1 hour across town loaded up a car and towed it all the way back across town to my house and unloaded it. Its mid summer in Australia and to be able to do that in the heat is an amazing step forward! Last month i was still pretty much bedridden.

 

Keep strong buddies, hope you all are keeping well 

 

 

[[ml...]]

Yeah Lockie! 

 

So good to hear you have had even a small reprieve! Summer there, winter here on the Pacific Coast. But I must say, I am enjoying the cooler temps, we had a HOT summer and WD and heat, not a good match, so be careful 

Keep going buddy, your doing it

 

Magic

[[Lo...]]

Thanks ML , fatigued today but thats to be expected after really pushing yesterday. Seems lately if i push i get half to a full day of fatigue the next day then perk up again.

 

Good things are happening 

 

 

[[ml...]]

Thanks ML , fatigued today but thats to be expected after really pushing yesterday. Seems lately if i push i get half to a full day of fatigue the next day then perk up again.

 

Good things are happening 

 

Oh hallelujah! This was also my first sign at about where you are, that things were turning the corner. Go when you can, but be aware not to go too hard, just read your body. Your getting there, 2016 is our year!!!

 

I can hardly believe Feb 1st is one year since this hell on earth started...I thought I'd never get here!

 

peace

ml

[[Lo...]]

So glad your doing so well ML you deserve it buddie!

[[ml...]]

So glad your doing so well ML you deserve it buddie!

 

Thanks lock...Geez, its the weirdest thing. I am at a loss continually to explain the confusion this whole thing causes. I realize, I am so, so much better, but Its like peeling the layers of an onion off, theres always more! All the CRAZY and scary physical sx have for the most part disappeared. Now I am peeling off the emotional sx. I am needing to push myself a bit here. I can see where depression and not finding a lot of joy, pushing myself thru things and feeling that feeling to be glad when even a simple coffee date is over. Yet when I'm there, I enjoy it. I know its depression and a bit more healing to go.

 

Just when you think your done, another layer. Its ok...every layer we peel off, we are that much closer to us!

 

 

ml

[[Lo...]]

 

So glad your doing so well ML you deserve it buddie!

 

Thanks lock...Geez, its the weirdest thing. I am at a loss continually to explain the confusion this whole thing causes. I realize, I am so, so much better, but Its like peeling the layers of an onion off, theres always more! All the CRAZY and scary physical sx have for the most part disappeared. Now I am peeling off the emotional sx. I am needing to push myself a bit here. I can see where depression and not finding a lot of joy, pushing myself thru things and feeling that feeling to be glad when even a simple coffee date is over. Yet when I'm there, I enjoy it. I know its depression and a bit more healing to go.

 

Just when you think your done, another layer. Its ok...every layer we peel off, we are that much closer to us!

 

 

ml

 

Yeah i know exactly what your talking about with the layers and its the same with me. The Crazy and terrifying SX have pretty much gone yet im still so messed up. I try tell my mates im doing heaps better but still struggling and just see their eyes glaze over. Lol! I dont expect them to understand because i wouldnt if i hadn't been here infact id probably be the people i hate right now saying " you will be fine " or " harden up mate " ignorance is bliss i guess 

 

Are you excersing ML ? I know that helps depression but many of us are excersise intolerant. I had a real bad panic attack last night because i pushed too hard the day before

[[ml...]]

 

So glad your doing so well ML you deserve it buddie!

 

Thanks lock...Geez, its the weirdest thing. I am at a loss continually to explain the confusion this whole thing causes. I realize, I am so, so much better, but Its like peeling the layers of an onion off, theres always more! All the CRAZY and scary physical sx have for the most part disappeared. Now I am peeling off the emotional sx. I am needing to push myself a bit here. I can see where depression and not finding a lot of joy, pushing myself thru things and feeling that feeling to be glad when even a simple coffee date is over. Yet when I'm there, I enjoy it. I know its depression and a bit more healing to go.

 

Just when you think your done, another layer. Its ok...every layer we peel off, we are that much closer to us!

 

 

ml

 

Yeah i know exactly what your talking about with the layers and its the same with me. The Crazy and terrifying SX have pretty much gone yet im still so messed up. I try tell my mates im doing heaps better but still struggling and just see their eyes glaze over. Lol! I dont expect them to understand because i wouldnt if i hadn't been here infact id probably be the people i hate right now saying " you will be fine " or " harden up mate " ignorance is bliss i guess 

 

Are you excersing ML ? I know that helps depression but many of us are excersise intolerant. I had a real bad panic attack last night because i pushed too hard the day before

 

Yes I agree about the mates...They don't really get it, but how can we expect them too, would we if the situation were reversed?  Its too bizarre for even us to understand, but we are living it and have to push on!

 

Today I got back to my exercise routine. Im committed to getting it in everyday. I feel so much better after I do it for a few days...weeks. I had gotten down to no exercise over the last few months, with winter here, rain, grey skies and the holidays. I have to move my bod and get my heart rate up, if I'm gonna beat this blah depression!

 

Thanks Lockie!

 

ml

[[MT...]]

This peculiar feeling we have around friends/mates and family, I wonder if this is what it feels like to folks with cancer and other serious illnesses? That others can sometimes be understanding but they just don't get it. I heard someone with cancer talking about that the other day. Of course their illnesses are at least familiar to the public and there isn't any stigma but it still must be isolating. I suspect we'll come out of this waaaay more compassionate and hesitant to judge others.

[[ml...]]

This peculiar feeling we have around friends/mates and family, I wonder if this is what it feels like to folks with cancer and other serious illnesses? That others can sometimes be understanding but they just don't get it. I heard someone with cancer talking about that the other day. Of course their illnesses are at least familiar to the public and there isn't any stigma but it still must be isolating. I suspect we'll come out of this waaaay more compassionate and hesitant to judge others.

 

I agree Katie.. I already feel that way on many aspects 

[[Lo...]]

Ohh boy , im so over this WD bullshit! Been spending the last 3 hours trying to convince myself im not going to die and fighting a constant panic attack. All because i did 20 minutes excersise yesterday and within 3 hours straight back into a wave. Im so overweight now i hate what i see when i look in the mirror and so ashamed of my body. I know i overdid it yesterday and this wave will pass by tomorrow but FFS this WD is relentless.

 

Sorry about the rant but im raging at the moment. So pissed off and jaded that even though ive made such good progress im still so fragile and messed up. Ive heard plenty of times people saying you have to excersise and its good for anxiety but its bullshit. Everytime it do it throws me in an acute wave of hell for 24 hours. Sorry about the rant but seriously need to vent right now.

[[ml...]]

Ahhh buddy... don't apologie for the rant, thats what we are all here for. Only we truly understand. It sucks something fierce and yes, it is a total shitstorm to deal with! Stinky and foul in every direction it seems.

 

I wish I had a lightbulb thought I could give you that would help, but I don't. I get it about the weight too. In the beginning I lost so much, now I have this ravenous appetite for carbs all the time, like my brain is trying to get seratonon or some chemical in order by eating carbs. YUCK and my pants are getting too tight! I'll rant with you...I want my body and mind back too!

 

Have you tried walking? Thats still moving, but a bit more therapeutic and maybe won't rev stuff so much.

 

Tmro will be a better day 

ml

[[ml...]]

Just do this and at least laugh for a spell...

 

 

[[MT...]]

Lockie, I'm sorry you're in such a dark place. There are times during wd where it feels absolutely unbearable. We feel frantic to get the heck out of this body/mind but we can't. There's a line from a Pink Floyd song, "There's someone in my head but it's not me." This doesn't feel like us but we can't get away from it...just yet. Try to accept your anger, resentment as part of this process. There used to be a thread on BB f#$% this s&*% that reflected these feelings.

 

Not everyone can exercise during wd and many of us can't do it all of the time. I've not been able to do it for almost a week and it's easy to feel bad about myself. I've got the carb/sweet cravings too and my weight keeps creeping up.

 

Come here and vent all you need to. Better times are ahead for all of us even when it doesn't feel that way.

[[bc...]]

So sorry Lockie....that you are going thru this crappy wave.....You just never know when withdrawal will reel its ugly head.  Just when you think you are one step ahead it throws you back 2 steps.  Hang in there....you have seen some good days and they will be  back...you will get thru this.

 

I also had a horrendous day...not sure what triggered it....I was thinking that my symptoms were a bit less severe and then SLAM....it knocked me flat out.  Today is not that much better....but I had to go out for an appt. so I managed to get thru it but ever so glad to be home.    I also started exercising a couple of weeks ago...but taking it very slow...just 5 - 8 min. on the treadmill.....I try to do it every day...but if I am too symptomatic, forget it because it's not happening.  So far so good....I get tired but that is about all.  We used to walk during the summer time but with the winter...it is too cold and slippery. 

 

I hope you are feeling better real soon and having more of your better days.    Stay strong.....healing hugs....

[[MT...]]

I'm trying to think of some of the potential uses I could have when I'm this fatigued and useless. Feel free to add your ideas to the mix:

--sofa cushion

--blanket holder

--performance art (using the word "performance" loosely as I'm not moving much)

--wasteproducts maker

--laundry and dishes generator

--stunt double for stuffed animals

--wax museum model (only seated or lying poses available)

--gentle TV critic. If it's distracting and not too disturbing, a thumbs up

 

 

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Thanks for the support everyone, is amazing how online support helps more than anything. Woke up today still feeling like a bus hit me but the anxiety and panic have died down a bit. When im like this i could nearly be healed if i wasnt dragging a dead corpse around. Thanks for the link ML that made me laugh and MT im going to double up as a TV critic/couch cushion today. At least ill be multitasking 

 

Becalm so sorry your getting hit again . At that far out i was still getting slammed for no rhyme or reason randomly. Hopefully you pick up again soon just hang in there buddy.

 

Healing hugs buddies  and thanks again for your support. Id be lost without you all

 

 

 

 

[[bc...]]

Oh my.....magic.....I love the video.....I feel like doing that every day....in fact I did yesterday......because the day was brutal....just brutal. 

 

and MT....thanks for the list.....today I would probably be the stuffed double in a wax museum....and most days I could be any of them...other than the last one becasue I still have a lot of problem watching TV....it is too stimulating or something....with all this brain fog and anxiety....just can't handle it right now.

 

So on a bad day I think I will come here and vent....if that's ok.  (which could be everyday)....everyone is so understanding....I still have a long way to go to catch up to some of you....you have logged more time than me in this withdrawal frenzy....

 

Sending lots of healing hugs and thoughts to all of you.......

 

 

[[Lo...]]

Vent away becalm 

[[bl...]]

Hello my fellow BB'S! 

I hope that everyone is getting some relief! I am still in a wave and I am sooo over this already!

 

Lockie, I too have been dealing with the horrid panic attacks, (The intensity definitely upped when I hit 5 months) it's sooo exhausting to say the least. However, I am 6 months out today..

 

Stay strong BB'S!! We gonna make it!