Need supportive words...

[[Si...]]

Glad you made it through. Yesterday was really rough for me. Thought for sure I'd easily go to sleep. Nodding off around 10:30 so we got in bed. Totally amped up and couldn't fall asleep. Got into a fight with my wife for waking her up. Finally sorted it out and maybe fell asleep around 12:30. Wide awake at 4:30am. I guess at least I got 4 hours, but u seriously thought I'd get more after not sleeping the night before. Going back to acupuncture tonight.

 

How was your sleep last night?

Siggy,

I posted a reply to you, but it did not take. There might end up being two of them. Anyway, my sleep last night was almost exactly the same as yours. For some reason I am now having problems falling back to sleep once I wake up. It used to only be a problem getting to sleep. Can't get bored of this insomnia because it keeps changing. I admit, that for some reason I feel pretty good this morning.

 

Yep, owe the missus big time. The up and down just doesn't make any sense to me either. I'm having the same problem too. Usually I could rather easily go back to sleep if I woke up. Mainly it was just a problem of getting to sleep. That seems to have changed for me lately where I have both problems. Good grief. I've felt terrible most of the day. I just hope that one day I can at least somewhat get back to normal.

[[Si...]]

How's everyone doing?

 

This last week has been one of the worst ones in a while. Didn't sleep Sunday night. So that made me really sleepy last night. Started getting really sleepy around 9:30pm, but held off going to bed until 11:30pm. Was asleep rather quickly. Our boy cat decides to attack a bunch of stuff (mainly a plastic bag and the bottom of the bed) at 4:30am. Luckily I was able to fall back asleep rather easily. So slept until a little after 6am. I really hope tonight I can get back to at least sleeping some every night.

[[La...]]

Siggy, at least you bounced back last night and got maybe 6 hrs? I know im probably jinxing myself here but for the last 4 consecutive nights ive gotten 8 hrs solid sleep. I do wakeup everynight one time but since i have no clock i dont know when. Miraculously i fell right back asleep after the wakeups. Back to normal? Not yet, i still wakeup like a rocket early each morning and thus have to "put myself to bed" at 10pm each night in order to get at least 6 hrs every night. But this new trend is promising... .at 23 months post jump.

 

Wishing you guys the best. It will come.

 

Laser

[[Si...]]

Thanks laser. I wish I could just sleep every night. Missing full night is brutal. I don't know why my sleep pattern won't normalize more? Seems everyone else here at least sleeps some every night now. How long does it take you to fall asleep? I can't even think about getting into bed until 12pm. There's no way I'd fall asleep. I wish I was one of the ones that had an easier time falling asleep even if I had to deal with waking up after. I'm just having a hard time coping with this. Glad you've got a string of 8's though. Usually if I don't fall asleep within the first hour, I know I typically won't at all. Do you ever have a fully sleepless night?

[[La...]]

Thanks laser. I wish I could just sleep every night. Missing full night is brutal. I don't know why my sleep pattern won't normalize more? Seems everyone else here at least sleeps some every night now. How long does it take you to fall asleep? I can't even think about getting into bed until 12pm. There's no way I'd fall asleep. I wish I was one of the ones that had an easier time falling asleep even if I had to deal with waking up after. I'm just having a hard time coping with this. Glad you've got a string of 8's though. Usually if I don't fall asleep within the first hour, I know I typically won't at all. Do you ever have a fully sleepless night?

 

Yes, I actually had a 0 hr sleep as recently as 3-4 months ago. I had an early am boat to catch to Catalina Island and was worried I wouldnt fall asleep. And. I. Never. Did.that night. In the past 8 months it has happened to me only twice, I can live with that, but it will probably get better. My problem is no longer that I cant fall asleep, so much as it is the early wakeup at god awful hours.  This string of 8s for me is a first in about 2.5 years. 

[[al...]]

 

Normally I'm not aware of having fallen asleep until sometime after midnight. I try to go to bed by 10:30 pm because for some reason it seems to be a matter of having to put in the time trying to fall asleep more than the actual hour that I go to bed. I also try to get to bed fairly early because every once in a while I fall asleep fairly fast and don't want to miss out on the potential extra sleep. It is not uncommon to finally start sleeping around 3 hours after lights out, but it has been a while since I got zero sleep. Three hours is a long to spend trying to sleep, but I still think that I may be slipping in and out of light sleep even if I'm not aware of it. The only way to get anything remotely close to 8 hours is to not have to get up for work the next morning.

 

As time passes, my withdrawal insomnia changes. It used to just be a matter of initially falling asleep, but now I often have a hard time getting back to sleep once I wake up. Whatever is going on, I must be getting more sleep overall than a few months ago because I am getting through the day much better than in the past. Now if I have a bad night, I may feel tired, but the anxiety, fear and really unpleasant sensations are long gone so that is definitely progress.

[[Si...]]

Mine is so all over the place I have no idea. I can fall asleep quickly sometimes. Usually I'd I don't fall asleep within the first hour, it doesn't happen at all. Typically I couldn't fall back asleep rather easily (IF I fell asleep of course), but that's been really up and down too lately. I just hate that I had almost no sleep problems before this bs.

[[8d...]]

Aloha, I am feeling the exact same way about getting through the day.

 

Last night I went to sleep way too late, and got about 5.5 hours of sleep.

 

My wife walked in with the baby this morning, thinking I was awake, but when she saw I was sort of out of it, she tried to slip out and let me sleep (she's so sweet!).

 

But I wanted to get up and help her out, so I willed myself out of bed. I think I definitely could have slept a little more.

 

Although I was feeling really tired and out of it, there was no anxiety or depression. And I had a really really good day.

 

I remember waking up form those pills... Damn did that feel awful. I am so grateful that I had the strength to get off that junk!

[[al...]]

I have always heard that sleep is the last withdrawal issue to resolve itself. I guess that is true, but boy am I happy that the other unpleasant issues are a thing of the past. They just had a way of always putting a negative spin on my life. It always felt as if I was constantly waiting for something very bad to happen.

 

As I look back at my day today (I'm 5 hours behind the west coast so it is only 8 pm out here), I am happy to say that all went well and I feel good. This is in spite of my wife's work calling her 3 times throughout the night. She hasn't gotten a late night emergency call for months so I forgot all about that threat to my sleep. Last night's calls seemed to come just as I was finally falling asleep after long periods of trying. After the final call at 2:30 am I could not get back to sleep until sometime after 3:30 am and had to get up for work at 6:30 am. I felt a little tired all day, but fully functional and even in a good mood. Up yours Ambien withdrawal (and late night phone calls)! 

[[Si...]]

Well I'm wide awake again after trying all night to sleep. I took 400mg of magnesium hoping it would help. It sedated me some, but not enough for me to sleep. Now my head is pounding. God I wish I could just fall asleep at all. At least y'all are getting some sleep. I just don't know why I'm getting hit so hard with this. I can't fall asleep at all.

[[al...]]

Siggy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this bad spell. We all know how crappy that feels. Hopefully as you grow more tired you will have a better chance at sleep. Perhaps you are getting too upset over it and that is making your sleep more elusive. Even though Benzo Buddies is a good outlet, maybe it is time to take a break from it for a while. Too much reading and writing about sleep problems can make you dwell on it too much. Maybe too much turkey will also help. Happy Thanksgiving.

[[Si...]]

Hi aloha,

 

I actually did take a long break from the forums for a few weeks when I started sleeping most nights. I didn't come back on here until my sleep went to crap exactly a week ago today. It just came out of nowhere. I was falling to sleep pretty quickly each night, with only a few nights taking longer. Then would sleep from 4 - 6 hours most of those nights. All of a sudden took forever to fall asleep last Tuesday and then has progressively gotten worse. I went back to some of my posts from July of last year where I felt I was nearly healed. Crazy. I can't believe I actually got to a point where the s/x were very minimal and I was sleeping quit good every night then to get dropped into pure hell after getting the flu. I was even drinking alcohol again occasionally without any noticeable major setbacks. Although I guess it's possible I was fooling myself about that and it just built up over time and hit me. I still really think it was the flu that did it though. I really wish I hadn't gotten that. Nothing I can do about either situation though. At least I had the 5 months of feeling nearly 100%. So now I'm not sure when or how I'll even come out of this debacle. I'm nearing 19 months off. So that 9 months past when I got the flu.

 

P.S.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

[[al...]]

Siggy,

I read that Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome can behave exactly like that. Things start to get better for awhile then the symptoms will return. Over time the returns happen less often and gradually decrease in intensity until healing is complete. I think that most of us can expect to have or sleep leave us for periods of time, but hopefully yours return soon and stay longer.

[[Si...]]

Thanks aloha, I'm trying to get thorough every moment of this. The depression sucks too, which I never really had before either. Maybe had some boughts of melancholy, but nothing this bad nor that has lasted this long. I did end up sleeping about 8 hours last night after not sleeping the night before. Went to bed at 11:30pm and woke up around 6am. Easily fell back asleep until 8:30 or so. Hope your night went smooth. Enjoy your thanksgiving.

[[Si...]]

Another super crappy night. In and out of very light sleep all night. Burning brain and spine at an all time high. I just don't how much longer I can handle this.

[[al...]]

Siggy,

You may not like it, but you will handle it as long as you have to. Hang in there and remind yourself that another round of good sleeping is more than likely just around the corner. Experience probably has taught you that although it sucks, you can still function and get through the day while under slept. Once you truly become tired enough, sleep will return.

 

I have been experiencing pretty good sleeps lately, but I must remind myself that bad nights will most likely return. I am going to get as much rest as I can before they do.

[[Si...]]

Very true, I can't wait until I have no more 0 nights. I can handle getting 4-5 if that's what it has to be. More would be better of course. It's just the nights I don't sleep at all that crush me. Ended up falling asleep at 11:30pm last night. Woke up at 6:30am. So about 7 hours total. I'm still super tired, but I know some people on here have it even worse. I'm watching my wife sleep in as I type this. That's a lovely thing to watch. 

 

Hope you're doing ok lately.

[[8d...]]

I had a pretty good run... Although I didn't always get a lot of sleep, I always felt decent going through the day.

 

But the last couple of days have been a bit rocky. Last night, I went to bed late, and I woke up before my alarm clock which I knew meant that I did not get enough sleep.

 

Feeling a bit down now, and not really interested in much.

 

I'm not freaking out though, because I've been down this path many times, and I know it gets better.

 

How is everyone doing?

[[Si...]]

I had a pretty good run... Although I didn't always get a lot of sleep, I always felt decent going through the day.

 

But the last couple of days have been a bit rocky. Last night, I went to bed late, and I woke up before my alarm clock which I knew meant that I did not get enough sleep.

 

Feeling a bit down now, and not really interested in much.

 

I'm not freaking out though, because I've been down this path many times, and I know it gets better.

 

How is everyone doing?

 

Hey Damien, I'm about to eat dinner. Made lasagna and salad. We've been running around all day doing errands. Then we went to the park and walked for about three miles and worked out along the way with push ups etc. Just trying to get rid of this depression and see if exercise will help me sleep better. Sorry your having some crap sleep again. I haven't used my alarm in 9 months. I'd love to have the problem of having to use it again.

[[8d...]]

Same here. I used to love sleeping until my alarm went off.

 

Sometimes I would even sleep right through it.

 

Now I just hope to be able to sleep until it goes off. But that never happens unless I go to bed with only 6 hours of sleep time left.

 

I've had about three 8 hour sleeps in the last 18 months.

 

I miss it so much

[[Si...]]

I've had a few 8+ but it's usually only after not sleeping the night before. I know you don't think this, but you should be glad you do at least sleep every night. I'd love to have no more 0 nights. Even if that meant only 5 hours a night for a while. You'll get back to where you were. Could the problem be that you don't have a set bed time?

 

I started doing the dozing jerking thing on the couch last night. So we came to bed around 11:30. Of course my wife drops off to sleep in about 5 minutes. I lay there for about 30 minutes and got frustrated. So I went to our guest bedroom so I wouldn't bother her. Luckily it didn't take long to fall asleep in there. Woke up at 5am and then moved back into our main bed. Layer here for a while thinking that I'd just stay awake to try and keep myself tired for tonight. I ended up falling back asleep though. Woke back up around 7:30. So I maybe got 6 hours last night. I always feel like crap when I wake up. I always have a headache, burning, and tinnitus. The depression typically isn't far behind.

 

A woman I talk to in another thread said that she was having horrible sleep problems, very up and down like me. She just started month 20 and suddenly has been sleeping a lot better. She's sleepy a lot now and said she can sleep 9-10 hours typically. But she still has the occasional sleepless night. I'm hoping mine makes a speedy turn around like that soon.

 

I decided to be more on top of my vitamins. I was taking them sporadically this go around, but the first time I felt healed I was taking a multivitamin every day. No idea if that's what helped or not, but I'm trying everything I can to get through this.

[[al...]]

After a good run of decent sleeps, I could not sleep last night. Went to bed at 11:30 and was not aware of any sleep happening until sometime after 5:30 am when I awoke from a dream at 6:00 am. It has been a long time since I had such a night. The good news for me is that I took it very well compared to how I was in the past when this happened. I was able to stay calm and enjoy what comfort I experienced. I was also able to put my new-found yoga training into practice and keep myself in the present and not worry about the future that was going to arrive with the new day. I managed to log in a couple of hours of extra sleep before getting out of bed and so far the day feels like a fairly normal day (although it is a day off).

 

Unfortunately, last night did remind me that I am still living with a ticking time-bomb that could go off again at any time. Luckily, I had nothing important to do today, but that will not always be the case. Learning to live in the present can only go so far if you have to perform at a high level for work the next day.

[[Si...]]

Sorry you've had a rough night. The last two weeks for me have been TERRIBLE. I've been a relentless wave. I was in a relatively good mood before that as I had maybe 25 days of straight sleep days and most were in the 5-6 hour range. I've missed almost half the days the past 10 days. I haven't had this bad of a streak in 4 months. Was averaging only one fully 0 night a week for those four months. So I'm not doing well at all mentally about it. I was starting to get some hope that I was making progress. I now feel like I'm not going to get better from this. I have no idea why this decided to come back with such a vengeance. I did have one night where I was sudo asleep and have no idea how asleep I was not for how long. I just know I felt terrible that whole day. I virtually never get to sleep unless it happens earlier in the night. Just drives me crazy since I slept relatively well before taking this garbage.

 

Glad you got some sleep and don't feel too bad today. It's always on my mind now about having to function and go to work after a bad night. I hate it with a passion.

[[al...]]

Siggy,

I'm hoping that this big wave of yours turns out to be the dying gasp of your insomnia as your brain completes its final rewiring. If not, then maybe its good to get this one over with now before the holidays get going in full force. Keep working on maintaining an inner calm. This will help make things a little better for you in the meantime.

[[Si...]]

Siggy,

I'm hoping that this big wave of yours turns out to be the dying gasp of your insomnia as your brain completes its final rewiring. If not, then maybe its good to get this one over with now before the holidays get going in full force. Keep working on maintaining an inner calm. This will help make things a little better for you in the meantime.

 

Thanks Aloha!

 

Yes, I'm hoping I'm circling the very last of the main stuff. I think if I can get over the hump of just sleeping every night, even if it isn't 6+ I can cope a lot better until this recovery is fully done. I was in a depressive slump most of the last week. Luckily I did fall asleep rather easily last night. I didn't even feel sleepy (of course I almost never do anyway). Went to bed at 12 and knocked out fairly quickly. The sleep was deep though with some dreams that I remembered. Popped up wide awake at 4:30am like happens a lot now (between 4:30am and 5:30am typically). It didn't bother me though. I was just happy to get some sleep. I think I may have fallen back asleep briefly after that. The noise from my wife getting ready in the morning doesn’t help. She gets up at 5:30am.

 

I've been trying a few things to see if they may help some. Taking my mult-vitamin more regularly. I was just taking one sporadically, but now will keep to taking one every day. Trying to exercise more to wear myself out. Started taking Krill Oil for the Omega-3. Started taking Tart Cherry with Turmeric and Ginger. All these are suppose to help with depression and inflammation. So possibly help me sleep better.

 

Hope you're doing ok and that your bad night was just a fluke.