Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ho...]]

Hi all

 

Just wanted to post in the section , as im now 13 days today benzo free from clonazopam!!! ugh.. what a terrible ride/journey its been for me, for over a year...

 

was on atavin for 3 months for anxiety due to breast cancer scare, then put on clonazopam, oh if i only knew at the time what this drug would do to me, would never ever taking that first pill!!! 

 

I currently am suffering chronic fatigue, very very lethargic, tired all day long, first thing the worst, by bout 1-4pm again is at its worst, and im exhausted done by 9/10 pm........anyone else the same with this?? ive been like this ever since i started clonazopam basically, which was march 09..

 

Also, currently, hard to focus my eyes typing this....and it hurts my eyes the brightness of the screen, what the heck, light sensitivity!!!!!!!!! out the roof, whole time on benzos!! hate it.. sunglasses are my bestfriend!

 

I still have the tremors, tingling, shaky, buzzing feeling under my skin mostly in my arms, and feet.. in waves.. nighttime is the worst for me.. especially if i get up during the night to go the bathroom, Almost like my central NS is waking up, and goes into a spasm??!!! weird...............anyone else??

 

In my taper i had out 30 w/d symptoms.. was horrible.. from burning backpain, burning skin, arms, menstrual problems, bad chest pain, stomach pain, burning, felt bruised really bad, breathlessness, numbness, dizzyness, major off balance problems, weird head sensations, weird body sensations, toothpain, gum pain, sore roof of my mouth, gums bleeding a bit, zombie like feeling, memory problems and much more.. to list a few...

 

Currently, im having real tough time w the tiredness...it eats me inside.. thinking when will i get my energy back! ?and feel hopeless that it will not come back!  im wanting to get tests done checking vit b, vit d etc.. in my system see where im lacking , if any, cuz it feels like im fading away....by the day.......

Have any of you found diet change helped you w energy?? if so, please share with me.. cuz im reading to see a nutritionish or something... bout this! i feel so lost, how to deal with this tiredness!

 

HELP INPUT PLEASE.. THANKS...

[[...]]

hope,

I'm off benzos for about the same time as yourself, and I am having a tough time with fatigue as well.

I had a similar problem back in the fall 2009 when making a cut.

The only thing I have been able to do, is get up and move around. 

At times, even light exercise can create more fatigue later, but I feel like you just have to push thru

it so some degree.

 

Nothing in my diet specifically seems to help so far.  I do seem to feel a bit better just by eating though. 

 

I thought a multi-vit was helping with my energy levels to some degree, but it seems to ramp up other symptoms,

like tinnitus, or anxious feelings, so it's a trade off.

I wish I could give everyone the magic bullet, but all I have right now to give is hope, understanding, and a shoulder to lean on.

I agree with Legend that time is where we need to place our faith.

-David

[[Ph...]]

This is a really good idea, sorry Ididn't get to read it sooner. I hope to add to it one day when I am benzo free. I see so many people pass me by so quickly. That's ok, it gets frustrating but I have learned to accept even the worst of circumstances. If there's one thing this hellish situation taught me it was patience. My day will come.

On a more tpic-related note I noticed people seem to have a more "real world" vibe in their posts after being benzo free for a few weeks or months. I'm really hypersensitive to the way people express themselves and I almost always notice a different (better) tone when people become benzo free. Almost like a clarity.

 

L'andy

[[gi...]]

Throwing my hat into the ring here...

 

My story is in my blog; since it's rather long I'll just leave it there if anyone's interested in reading it. In a nutshell I was prescribed K for anxiety & panic attacks. After 1 day I was perfectly fine but my doc never considered taking me off, and I didn't know any better.

 

14 months ago today I took the leap off .25 K.  These are the symptoms I have daily:

Burning/twitching/"drumming" between my shoulder blades (driving me crazy)

Screaming tinnitus (has only gotten worse over time)

Burning mouth (not as bad as it was - usually)

Shooting sparks across my back & down my arms when I get the slightest bit stressed or anxious

Blurry R eye (has only gotten worse over time)

Daily headache usually only lasts a couple of hours (in the last week it's been 24/7 like it was for 9 months. Ugh.)

Physiological anxiety, especially across upper back

Intermittent depressive episodes & anxiety attacks that I'm successfully fighting, thanks to CBT

 

Physical changes that I'm having a really hard time coping with:

Extreme loss of muscle mass

Stinging muscles when I pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds (I used to curl 20 lbs)

Hard tongue curled into a ball pressing against the roof of my mouth

Skin turned "crepe" within a month of my first reduction

 

I rate my days on a scale of 1-10, 10 being best.  Ignoring the mouth, tinnitus and burning back, I can say I've been averaging 8.75 for the last 6 weeks. I've had a lot of 9 and 9.5's since December!  I've had 3-4 windows, the last one in early Feb (late Jan?). I hadn't had one since April/May. However, I consider these days windows but I still had the tinnitus during those times, too.

 

I averaged 14 symptoms March-April-May, and for about 2 weeks in April I had 21. With that in mind, I consider myself to be doing great!

 

 

Comisado, my BFF and counselor both continually comment that they find me more clear now than I've been in 3 years. I feel more clarity, too; like a veil has been lifted. I say that my "reality checker" has been turned back on.

 

God helps us all -

ginger

 

[[ve...]]

You guys are all posting so much good stuff, helps to see its a journey, not a destination once off benzos.  I forgot to mention that a month ago, I went to my internist and found (2 months off) that my blood pressure was up to 135/95.  This is the highest its ever been and I was frankly very surprised.  He wanted to put me on all sorts of meds from beta blockers to raising my pravastatin to possibly other things.  I said I thought it was benzo withdrawal related and he poo poo'd it.  I said I wanted to wait another few weeks.  Went to the pharmacy and measured it three times this week, all normal.  I know that sometimes it can get higher when in the doctor's office too but that same week a month ago, it was also higher in the pharmacy.  Just one case where three months off, the BP is normal but was not a month ago.  Wondering if anyone else has had BP changes?  I still get this weird lightheaded feeling sometimes, not cog fog, sometimes its a subtle perceptual "offness" but it passes.  I am concerned because my mother who was also on benzos died of a stroke in her sixties.   If this site had been around then, maybe she would still be alive. I am looking forward to a better Spring and maybe get some hikes and walks in and build toward a healthy future.

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[...]]

I too am having a fight against high blood pressure.  I did have raised BP before I went onto benzos but it was controlled by a medication.  But in w/d and post benzos everytime I see the cardiologist it is rather high and of course he wants to add more meds to my system.  I try and tell him that it's probably through all the anxiety that withdrawing from benzos has caused me and he gives me that look of disbelief that I'm learning to understand from the medical professionals.  He also admits that he knows nothing about benzos!!!!  EEEEEK!  I tried to suggest that maybe he should do some research on how they affect the body, but again I got THAT look.  You know the one - I've been to medical school for a hundred years and I know more than you do - that look!

 

So right now I'm putting it down to "white coat syndrome" - yes, I've developed a fear of going to the doctor!  Gotta love those benzos.  So I now monitor my BP at home on my more relaxed days and whilst it is still raised a little, it is certainly a lot lower than when I see my cardio or GP.

 

I note that BP fluctuations are normal in w/d, so am trying not to stress about it.  Unfortunately I have cardio issues in my father's side of the family, so for that reason I exercise for 45 mins daily and am trying to eat as healthily as possible.

[[mi...]]

On the topic of blood pressure. ...

 

I have generally had low-ish BP my whole life. The hell week back in 2008 when I was having panic attacks and went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack, my BP spiked to almost 150/95. (I was 29 at the time, and in otherwise good health.) Once on benzos it stayed around 130/90, which is high for me.

 

But I, too, started to get nervous at at the doctor's office when the nurse would take my BP, a first for me. I don't recall ever thinking twice about getting my BP taken in my pre-benzo days. My doctor said nervousness/anxiety can definitely affect readings and recommended I buy a home monitor and keep track of my readings and report back to him, which I did. So when I take my BP at home, I find that if I relax and take deep breaths and close my eyes, my BP is normal or even lower than normal.

 

For example, my last home reading a week or so ago was 113/74. Full disclosure: I quit smoking on Jan. 31, 2010. (Go me!) However, I had never had high BP before anxiety/benzos.

 

In short, my BP was definitely affected by all of this, first by anxiety/panic and then by the benzos.

[[le...]]

Hi everyone!  I was just getting ready to sit down and report on my lab work...then saw all the reports on blood pressure and decided I needed to go and check mine before I gave my report Turns out the blood pressure is okay...but my pulse rate???  The first test it was 102...the second it was 97!  Should I be worried about this?

 

Today was my visit to my chiropractor to get the results of my blood and saliva tests.  I had these tests done just to see if there might be something else going on besides withdrawal from klonopin.  The tests were quite thorough.  The bottom line is that almost everything is in "normal" range in my blood work (for which I am very thankful!)  Even my vitamin D level was in normal range...I am sure because I have been supplementing for several months!  However, the two things that came back out-of-range were my c-reactive protein and my sed-rate.  Both of these are indicators of inflammation SOMEWHERE in the body.

 

My hormone testing came out a little out of whack...higher than normal testosterone (?)  and low progesterone and estrogen.  I need to find someone who can read this better than my chiropractor...and tell me what to do.

 

SO...now I have to figure out how (if) these fit together with my withdrawal symptoms.  The chiropractor wants me to do a "cleanse".  I brought home some info to read about it so that I can make a decision.  I may start a thread in "alternative treatments" to talk about this...but if any of you have had experience and want to pass it on I would really appreciate it. 

 

I took the Wikipedia page about benzo withdrawal to him, as well another article that was shorter.  Even though he is an alternative-type doctor, even HE seems to want to address everything from his own angle.  I told him I really needed him to read the info I gave him, that it defines "me" right now.  I also told him about my benzobuddies...about how they say time is the best healer...and that I could only be cautiously optimistic about any treatment that HE thinks will be the thing that gets me well.  I am not a very bold person when it comes to confronting doctors...but I felt good that I tried to stand my "benzo" ground.  He said he was going to take my file home to read...

 

I have LOVED reading all of your posts...I wish we could all have a "group hug" :hug:   I started trying to do a little demographic chart on the ones who have responded on this thread  (why?...because I can't SEE you all and I wanted to know as much as I could about all of you who are helping me so much!) But since I started my little chart, more and more bb's started responding and I sort of gave up.  Just know how very much I appreciate each and every one of you!

Go Benzobuddies! 

 

After a couple of awful days of that burning/nerve/skin/muscle pain...today was better.  Any time I get a break from that particular pain, I am SO thankful.  That is the pain that keeps me almost paralyzed...and in the tub in epsom salts or oatmeal.

 

OK...I am going back to my diversion with American Idol.  (Did anyone see Danny Gokey sing?  He sang a song that should be the BenzoBuddie theme song, "My Best Days are Ahead of Me".)  I am going to try to find a link to post...

 

Love you guys!

~Leena

 

 

[[el...]]

Great thread Vert! Thanks for starting it. 

[[Ph...]]

You guys are all posting so much good stuff, helps to see its a journey, not a destination once off benzos.  I forgot to mention that a month ago, I went to my internist and found (2 months off) that my blood pressure was up to 135/95.  This is the highest its ever been and I was frankly very surprised.  He wanted to put me on all sorts of meds from beta blockers to raising my pravastatin to possibly other things.  I said I thought it was benzo withdrawal related and he poo poo'd it.  I said I wanted to wait another few weeks.  Went to the pharmacy and measured it three times this week, all normal.  I know that sometimes it can get higher when in the doctor's office too but that same week a month ago, it was also higher in the pharmacy.  Just one case where three months off, the BP is normal but was not a month ago.  Wondering if anyone else has had BP changes?  I still get this weird lightheaded feeling sometimes, not cog fog, sometimes its a subtle perceptual "offness" but it passes.  I am concerned because my mother who was also on benzos died of a stroke in her sixties.   If this site had been around then, maybe she would still be alive. I am looking forward to a better Spring and maybe get some hikes and walks in and build toward a healthy future.

 

Vertigo (no more)

 

Hi V

 

I was always under the impression that a number such as 135/95 was very very mild hypertension, almost consistent with a spike in bp one would have when they are tense or nervous. Of course I am no doctor; for all I know, a normal number for you might be significantly lower.

Something else that must be factored into bp before going on medication is your cholesterol and such. In my personal opinion sounds like white coat hypertension, perhaps you can research that and bring it in to your doctor and tell him your "at home" bp monitor reads normal levels.

My bp and hr was always very low before benzos. After benzos and in withdrawal my bp has gone as high as 180/120 at times, it is usually not sustained like that or I'd be very worried even tho I am young and thinnish. My usual bp is around 130/90 and that's a good number *for me,* considering how high it has been capable of going during this. Also my hr was never above 80 pre-benzo, and when I was in Xanax tolerance it went as high as 188 bpm. I was hospitalized. Potassium, cardizem, and Ativan couldn't bring it down. I ended up at a Cardiac Electrophysiologist who has been keeping an eye on it and told me I have an "overactive adrenergic system" and that benzo wd is probably making it all whacked up. In short - benzo withdrawal. Fortunately my hr has been around 95 - 100 bpm and hasn't gone that high in quite sometime. It is all very individual so hopefully your doc is aware of your *personal* track record of bp/hr and takes that into consideration before adding new meds. I mean, if your bp/hr was always sustained at numbers like 90/60, with a hr of say 65, then yeah 135/95 is probably high for you and perhaps that is why your doc is concerned. My docs really want to avoid putting me on beta blockers bc I have reactive airway disease, limited to springtime allergy season. But sometimes I wonder if I really need it. I just hate the idea of being on something that needs to be tapered. And this is something that would theoretically be life sustaining. Perhaps you should see a Cardiologist - they will put your mind at ease. A few cardiac nurses, and my friend who is an RN and had three heart transplants (she is 24) told me that there are patients with hypertension, on meds, who have sustained high bp, higher than mine, and they just send them home like that. I was like jeez. So I stayed away from high sodium content food, drank lots of water and attempted exercise. Keyword, attempted, lol. This is especially important in my luteal phase of my menstrual cycle (PMS). I think you will be fine, just make sure to bring up some of those points to your doctor, I bet that would be helpful!

 

L'andy

[[ve...]]

Thanks Comisado/L'andy, LB, Leena, MidSum and guys for the info on BP.  My cholesterol has always been slightly elevated the last ten years (I do need to lose about fifteen lbs ).  I've been taking pravastatin (20mg) on the $4 a month Kroger plan for a year.  My cholesterol numbers are much improved.  After my vertigo/ER scare in 2008, I had a stress treadmill and heart scan and was found I was in pretty good shape, very low calcium deposits, but some.   My doc wanted me to go on pravastatin since my father has a history of heart problems (two bipass surgeries).  The prav has worked and I do get some exercise though not enough .

 

Back to BP.  My BP was 120/80 the three previous physicals (3 years in a row).  True that I've had a fair amount of family stress with my father being very sick and in the hospital three times in the last four months and I ended up with Shingles from the stress last month.  Not the best timing to have gone off benzos right in the middle of it last Nov...  You're right L'andy about "normal BP" varying on factors.  I'm in my mid forties and found a chart on the internet that says 130/90 would be in normal range "for my age and gender".  I think I'm ok at 125/85 now.  I don't have a home machine yet.  I was told they can be inconsistent.  I get it done at the pharmacy around the corner.  I would buy one if I had panic attacks at home like some of you might.  Well, thanks for the input.  I'm sure from hearing from many of y'all that BP will likely fluctuate and possibly rise with stress and maybe just lowering and getting off benzos, but it can come back to normal.  I'm proof of that!

 

 

V (no more)

[[...]]

Hey Friends,

Just off for a short time, and I am concerned that this fatigue thing is kicking my tail. 

3 days straight this week with no relief.  Pain and fatigue in my lower legs and some arms-wrist-finger issues.

I am trying to stay off my feet as much as possible.

 

On a positive note, in some ways I am thinking more clearly and feeling less medicated. 

Also, I think my tinnitus is down a notch or two (off and on). 

And generally my anxiety issues subside when I get home from work when I can feel more relaxed.

My GI issues haven't reared their ugly head as yet, so that is also good.

 

Many of the supplements I have been using for a while now seem to either rev me up or make me

even more tired, (which I really can't handle).  Maybe they aren't needed anyway, but you know how we

keep looking for relief in any form.  I am trying to eat healthy.

 

I am sure my CNS is very, very sensitive right now.

My hearing and sense of smell has become even more acute, so loud noises or any odors are more

irritating than previously. 

 

I have had some weird pains that come and go.  Very interesting. 

I feel like a lab rat being poked and prodded with an invisible pin.

 

It kind of reminds me of an old movie I saw once, where the Greek gods were looking down from the heavens

at the people below, and talking about what was going to happen to them next.

I have about decided that you shouldn't complain too much about your problems, or the Greek gods

will add some more woe on you.

Holy Zeus, I hope not!

-David

 

 

[[ve...]]

Sorry to hear of the fatigue and leg pain David.  Do you have to stand a lot at work? Glad you are seeing some windows now re GI issues.  Know what you mean about supplements.  I'm a few months ahead of you and had to drop the supplements recently.   Yes, we all do feel a bit like lab rats but we're gonna make our way out of this maze and find the cheese . Hook em horns!

 

Onward!

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[Ma...]]

Hi, V, and everyone else. I'm having a very hard time at almost 7 months. While in a good mood (those have been coming at  days okay, 3 day in hell intervals) I decided to try to apply for an Masters of Social Work program, the application deadline for which is 9 days from today. I've been able to pull a lot of it together, but my sick mind has been telling me I'm making a horrible mistake. My mind does that whenever I try to improve my life. It tells me that I won't like like whatever it is I'm trying to do, and that I will fail. I'm walking through the fear not knowing what is what. It's terrifying, actually. I went to an A.A. meeting this a.m (7.5. years sober, I am) and tears were just rolling down my cheeks with a voice in my head saying, "even A.A. can't save you . . . . you're doomed!). Sorry to be so dark, but I'm just trying to be honest and get this out. I feel so insane right now.

 

 

Matteo   

[[Re...]]

Hey Matteo,

 

    I'm 7 months benzo free as well.  I just wanted to send you words of encouragement at 7 months out.  We have gone the distance with our healing, and at 7 months out, new symptoms come and go, and existing symptoms wax and wane (emotionally and physically). 

 

    For the past two weeks I've been dealing with heart flutters/palpitations, an increase in blurry vision, and muscle tension. I also had this paranoia that something was wrong with me physically and that I needed to see my doctor - I couldn't shake the feeling. 

 

    But today is a great day for me.  The obsession that I have some type of disease is gone.  Once I accepted that what was happening was benzo related, the symptoms just ceased.  Yes, I still have this concern for my health, but the obsession has lifted.   

 

    Believe me, I understand that you are tired of all of this, because I am tired as well, but Matteo, hold on because a better life awaits us.  You have conquered the benzo demon, and whatever you set your hands to do, you will prosper it is.  With every tooth and nail, continue to fight, regardless of what you mind tries to dictate.

 

    Continue to look for that light at the end of the tunnel.  Stay the course!

[[Ma...]]

Oh, thank you sooo much, R!!! I feel so much better after having read your post!! I've been having heart "flutters" too, and I thought surely I was having some heart problem, but I do such heavy aerobic exercise I couldn't understand it. I asked my mom (an M.D. - psychiatrist, but very knowledgeable about medical stuff, in general) about it and we checked my pulse, and I described the "fluttery" feeling. My pulse was good and regular, and she asked about shortness of breath, chest pains, arm pains, sweating and my answers were no, no, and no to all those. She said that if I had some of those, I might have more reason to worry, but I don't. Still, those fluttery heart feelings are troublesome. I'm not glad you're suffering from those, too, but I'm glad we're both having the same mystery symptoms, as I don't feel so alone, and hence, less worried. I also have very blurry vision sometimes, too, a drag because I finally am getting to the need for reading glasses age (relatively late at 48) and that combo is kind of a drag. But I'll tell you, the physical stuff is nothing compared to the mental. I can see how this confusing mess can lead people to injure themselves, sometimes permanently. Thank God I would never try to physically injure myself, but it's terrifying to go through these mental downturns every couple of days, especially when I'm trying to take steps to get my life back on track.

 

I can't thank you enough, R, for your help today!!!!!  :thumbsup: :smitten:

 

Matteo

[[gi...]]

Hi Retire and Matt,

 

I really turned the corner at 9 months out; I even started getting my confidence back. I know someone else who had the same "schedule" as me. Hopefully that will be the case for you two, too.

 

Take care,

 

ginger

[[...]]

Thanks Ginger - at five months out and with a return of some w/d symptoms I needed to know that and hope that will be similar for me.  In the support group I go to most have said that after 6-9 months off, a lot of their physical symptoms have all but gone - so I continue to hope for the best.  There has definitely been some improvement over the last week so I'm hoping for another long window.

 

Retire and Matteo - I have been troubled (probably an understatement - more like terrified) at times with heart palpitations and flutters.  I'm almost too scared to say anything for fear they will return, but they seem to have abated.  My vision too has been affected over the last week or two - again.  I had trouble with my eyes early in my taper.

 

Just proves this thread is such a great one for those of us who occasionally have those negative thoughts that there really is something wrong with us - other than benzo w/d.  I can understand the mental downturns Matteo, stay strong and believe, that's all we can do.  I'm now at a stage where I desperately want to get my old life back but being hampered by the physical symptoms which then lead on to emotional meltdown.

 

Hang in there everyone - we must believe it can only get better.  Day by day my friends - all with one aim in mind - to get ourselves well again!

[[De...]]

:)Today was a totally happy day for me as I celebrated the one year mark of being off of benzos!

 

Just wanted to share that as it feels so good to say "one year" for that means I am closer to my healing!!! 

[[...]]

Congratulations on your one year anniversary, Denikita.  Bring on the total healing.

[[...]]

Good Morning to All....I won't try and name everyone as there are quite a few of us now.... :)

 

Ginger - thank you so much for giving us those encouraging words...I really needed to here that today....

 

I had a meltdown last night....I had to go out to dinner with some friends and they know nothing of my situation for the past year....I had the worst anxiety all day yesterday thinking about it...saturday night in a busy small restaurant, everyone drinking etc...had no appetite at all....and trying to make conversation when I am in a complete mental benzo fog....

 

Well, I got through it somehow, but it was very very painful, and made me realise I am a long long way from being healed which has really thrown me for a loop again wondering if I will always panic about going out of the house etc, is this the way I will always be?  What happened to me?  Does anyone else have these mental struggles???

 

I am just over 3 months free now and feel like I will never get well, so Matteo I completely relate to what you say about making decisions to move your life forward and then being knocked back by the benzo talk in your head making you believe that life will never be the same again...

 

Some days I can fight that benzo voice, and others I can't....

 

LB it is good to hear that you have a support group, and that they say that 6-9 months is a turning point, that seems to tie in with what Ginger has said too and that is what I am praying for for all of us...

 

Sorry to not be in a  more positive frame of mind today, but last night knocked my confidence big time...

 

I am thinking of all my BB's today and wishing us a happy sunday....

 

Take Good Care.

 

Mxxxxxx

[[ve...]]

Know what you mean MAA.  It is very frustrating when going out with friends becomes a benzo burden.  A buddy of mine was asking me for weeks to have lunch with him and finally I agreed last month.  It wasn't all that bad but I found myself monitoring myself, asking myself if my post benzo fog was noticeable at all?  A week later (last week) I asked my wife to invite some friends over, just to try and get back to some social life, after having been ill for a while.   These are close friends, they even know about my valium use in the past, although they are of the type that don't necessarily believe one could still be symptomatic.  Nevetheless, they all polished off a bottle and a half of wine with my wife while I sipped my aqua freea .  Nothing was too "horrible" but I did feel a bit of that self monitoring and a sort of a struggle to keep up with all the overstimulating random and sometimes quite trivial chatter, what some would call "pleasant conversation".   I have a wedding and several parties to go to next month.  Have no choice but to keep forging ahead a step at a time.  I like the way you referred to "moving life forward".  Sometimes we tend to want to go back to some mythical period before benzos and wish for "life to be the same again" when in fact it never can be. We can only work on a better future in which we have beaten the benzo beast and can somehow try to come out stronger. Time will hopefully heal MAA and if it doesn't right away, might as well try to have a good time while we're miserable if that makes any sense.

 

Onward,

 

V (no more)

[[fa...]]

self-monitoring.. you've got the right name for it..  that's what I do all the time! that's what keep me at home.. that's what keep me afraid.. that's what keep me unhappy..

 

anybody have a solution for that? Can't help it.. self~monitoring!! hate it!!

[[Re...]]

Matteo,

 

    Just continue going through those doors...no hurdle is too high, and no fence is too wide.  As I encourage you I encourage myself.  I hope and pray that today is a good day for you.

 

    LB, I heard that things seem to turn around for folks at the 6-9 month mark as well.  I know at the 6 month mark the horrible insomnia that I suffered with throughout my taper and post benzo has lifted; I've been sleeping pretty good for the past 4 weeks.  Even the tinnitus is so quiet I have to actually listen for it to hear it. Now, that was a heck of a benzo recovery journey...insomnia and tinnitus so loud sleep was almost impossible. 

 

    When the flutters and palpitations started I ran to the internet to research heart disease (there is no history of it in my family).  Being 54 I was terrified as well.  But like Matteo said, I did not have any of the other symptoms; but after about a week of thinking the worse, the feeling that I was going to die from a heart attack ended.  Matteo is right, this emotional stuff can more crippling (IMO) than the physical, and it does feel like a setback, but we have to elevate our minds above these negative thoughts and know that all of this will be a bleep in our memories one day.

 

    I truly look forward to coming to this thread every day...Today is a good day for me, and I pray that God's favor smiles upon my BB family.

 

    Stay the course. 

[[...]]

Matteo,

I wanted to let you know that I believe that palpitations are pretty common, even for people who haven't been

on benzos.  I have them from time to time, and so last year my doctor got me to take a sonagram-type

test (in the office) because they were occurring pretty regularly, but it showed no problems.

Obviously they do scare you, so get it checked out if you need to, as it will make you feel better.

 

In addition, I have noticed that my blurry vision can be caused by meds other than benzos, like B/P meds or even some

supplements.  Are you taking anything that might cause it?

 

I have seen that you have given some strong support to others in the past, and I want to send that support right back

out to you as well. 

In your heart you know that depression and uncertainty are nothing more than a state of mind.  Sometimes it may be aggravated

by meds, (see warnings labels on many drugs) but sometimes it's just something we go thru as part of being human.

I want to encourage you to work on a positive attitude to overcome it... keep sharing your thoughts... and know that you can achieve anything

you really want to do.

I have faith that you can do this, so please have faith in yourself as well.

-David