Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[Sv...]]

It could be a tolerance dependence thing Pacific Ocean. I know I get intense cravings around the time that I would normally take my clonazapam. It's like a memory of the med and your brain could be expecting "something" dependent on time of day.

[[ni...]]

i am actually in one of the most burning amazing horrible waves that just won't leave. i had my first window on April 11th and it hasn't stopped since and seems to be getting worse. i am 1 year out and tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of a trip to the ER and rescue benzo dose. i can't believe how i am feeling right now. i am still bed ridden during the day too.

 

but don't let this scare you to the new people as i have been dealing with benzo's pretty much my whole life. and i did so much yo-yo-ing up and down and just couldn't taper properly so i had to cold turkey these little demons. and although i didn't expect to actually blow out my brains (as that is truly what it feels like) i did think that it could possibly take a longer time for me. i am much better than i was, that is for sure. but it sure is slow for me. i am hoping in the next few weeks i will either have another window or turn a corner. i really would like to turn that "13 month" corner that some peeps talk about.

 

pretty

          pretty

            your getting closer each day. its  the hardest thing ever i know. but it will happen

                                    nikki

[[pa...]]

It could be a tolerance dependence thing Pacific Ocean. I know I get intense cravings around the time that I would normally take my clonazapam. It's like a memory of the med and your brain could be expecting "something" dependent on time of day.

 

hi svenhoak,

you might be right on this. if so, any suggestion at all to break this cycle?

btw, how are you doing?

have you finished the taper yet?

[[Sv...]]

Hey Pacific Ocean. I'm done my taper as of march 17, 2013. I'm still struggling with the cravings myself, as I also quit drinking at the same time as I quit benzos, and the two work together. Best not to fight the tough times or cravings. Just float with it and use CBT and distract yourself as much as possible. Now that you know your pattern over what time of day is difficult you can plan your activities around it. I get hit in the morning and at dinner time, which was when I took my meds. Now I workout in the morning. Still avent figured out an evening distraction, as I miss my glass of wine with dinner.

 

Recovery is truly nonlinear. I was at rock bottom yesterday, and am doing quite well today. Still have a long way to go though. I think exercise is key.

 

I spoke to a shrink last week and his recommendation was simply to accept these bizarre feelings that arrive like clockwork rather than drive myself nuts trying to figure out what they are, why they are happening, how long will they last and so on. Easier said than done!

 

Hang in there pacific!  We all need each other on the tough days

[[pr...]]

i am actually in one of the most burning amazing horrible waves that just won't leave. i had my first window on April 11th and it hasn't stopped since and seems to be getting worse. i am 1 year out and tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of a trip to the ER and rescue benzo dose. i can't believe how i am feeling right now. i am still bed ridden during the day too.

 

but don't let this scare you to the new people as i have been dealing with benzo's pretty much my whole life. and i did so much yo-yo-ing up and down and just couldn't taper properly so i had to cold turkey these little demons. and although i didn't expect to actually blow out my brains (as that is truly what it feels like) i did think that it could possibly take a longer time for me. i am much better than i was, that is for sure. but it sure is slow for me. i am hoping in the next few weeks i will either have another window or turn a corner. i really would like to turn that "13 month" corner that some peeps talk about.

 

pretty

          pretty

            your getting closer each day. its  the hardest thing ever i know. but it will happen

                                    nikki

 

i'm in the strangest hell lately. i can't even type on the computer anymore. it's like i am totally brain dead. it seems to be one of the worst waves ever. today i couldn't even get up to eat. and my mother is being a little bratty Bithj sister and i don't need a bratty sister. it's just hell. i don't understand this wave but it's happening.

 

how are you doing?

[[ni...]]

i am actually in one of the most burning amazing horrible waves that just won't leave. i had my first window on April 11th and it hasn't stopped since and seems to be getting worse. i am 1 year out and tomorrow will be the 1 year anniversary of a trip to the ER and rescue benzo dose. i can't believe how i am feeling right now. i am still bed ridden during the day too.

 

but don't let this scare you to the new people as i have been dealing with benzo's pretty much my whole life. and i did so much yo-yo-ing up and down and just couldn't taper properly so i had to cold turkey these little demons. and although i didn't expect to actually blow out my brains (as that is truly what it feels like) i did think that it could possibly take a longer time for me. i am much better than i was, that is for sure. but it sure is slow for me. i am hoping in the next few weeks i will either have another window or turn a corner. i really would like to turn that "13 month" corner that some peeps talk about.

 

pretty

          pretty

            your getting closer each day. its  the hardest thing ever i know. but it will happen

                                    nikki

 

i'm in the strangest hell lately. i can't even type on the computer anymore. it's like i am totally brain dead. it seems to be one of the worst waves ever. today i couldn't even get up to eat. and my mother is being a little bratty Bithj sister and i don't need a bratty sister. it's just hell. i don't understand this wave but it's happening.

 

how are you doing?   

 

  pretty

  i continue to improve.  getting there slowly. each day it seems lately.  this is difficult to sit here....knowing you and other buddies still suffering so.

  its so odd but i feel really awkward about it.  ? ?  im sorry your still in this hell, ive had my fingers crossed for you....waiting to log in and see

  a post from you saying how you have turned that corner. i know it seems like it will never end...its so hard. 

thoughts and prayers being sent your way.        hugs  for you              nikki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ve...]]

Hey Pacific Ocean. I'm done my taper as of march 17, 2013. I'm still struggling with the cravings myself, as I also quit drinking at the same time as I quit benzos, and the two work together. Best not to fight the tough times or cravings. Just float with it and use CBT and distract yourself as much as possible. Now that you know your pattern over what time of day is difficult you can plan your activities around it. I get hit in the morning and at dinner time, which was when I took my meds. Now I workout in the morning. Still avent figured out an evening distraction, as I miss my glass of wine with dinner.

 

Recovery is truly nonlinear. I was at rock bottom yesterday, and am doing quite well today. Still have a long way to go though. I think exercise is key.

 

I spoke to a shrink last week and his recommendation was simply to accept these bizarre feelings that arrive like clockwork rather than drive myself nuts trying to figure out what they are, why they are happening, how long will they last and so on. Easier said than done!

 

Hang in there pacific!  We all need each other on the tough days

 

Hang in there Sven.  You've got a lot on your plate with benzo withdrawal and quitting alcohol.  No doubt it's gonna be tough for a few months but you'll get there.  I like the advice your therapist gave you, that sometimes it's more stressful to try to analyze and figure out what the feelings and sensations are and why, often can be best to observe them with curiosity, let them flow by like leaves on a stream.  Overanalysis can be paralysis. 

 

Take care,

 

V

[[Sv...]]

Thanks Vertigo!  This has been a wild ride for sure. I thought I had things fairly under control by gradually reducing both alcohol and benzos. Then withdrawal from benzos hit about one week after my ast dose, and it really freaked me out so I totally stopping drinking too. Sad, as I never predicted this outcome. Quite frankly I'm not too sure wat I was expecting. Be that as it ay, I'm just holding on for dear life as Toto and I go on that whirlwind ride to Kansas  together!

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo!  This has been a wild ride for sure. I thought I had things fairly under control by gradually reducing both alcohol and benzos. Then withdrawal from benzos hit about one week after my ast dose, and it really freaked me out so I totally stopping drinking too. Sad, as I never predicted this outcome. Quite frankly I'm not too sure wat I was expecting. Be that as it ay, I'm just holding on for dear life as Toto and I go on that whirlwind ride to Kansas  together!

 

Well, sometimes it can be a better strategy to go with the ride rather than trying to make the ride stop, if that makes sense.  Resistance can make things tougher whereas going with the flow and not freaking out can help get through.  Curious where you are Svenhoak?  Are you in the midwest with Dorothy or Int'l?  Your name sounds Swedish or N. European?  Happy Mother's Day to all the post benzo moms out there.

 

Cheers,

 

Vertigo

[[Sv...]]

Hey Vertigo!  Thanks again for the encouragement. I need all the help I can get!

 

Well as per the forums guidelines I'm not using my real name. If you google the name I've chosen you will find the evil brother of one of my favorite cartoon characters. I had to be original!

 

FYI, I live in the city sporting the NHL 's newest hockey franchise. Sadly we are out of the race for lord Stanley's mug!

 

I'm still trying to figure out going with the flow. I'm likely doing it but not realizing it!

 

Take care

 

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

Hey Vertigo!  Thanks again for the encouragement. I need all the help I can get!

 

Well as per the forums guidelines I'm not using my real name. If you google the name I've chosen you will find the evil brother of one of my favorite cartoon characters. I had to be original!

 

FYI, I live in the city sporting the NHL 's newest hockey franchise. Sadly we are out of the race for lord Stanley's mug!

 

I'm still trying to figure out going with the flow. I'm likely doing it but not realizing it!

 

Take care

 

You got me there.  I don't follow hockey so I have no idea who has the newest franchise.  No doubt you are going with the flow without even knowing it

 

V

[[ve...]]

bump

[[Sv...]]

Winterpeg lad....

[[ve...]]

Winterpeg lad....

 

I couldn't handle that level of cold. You're a better man than I!

 

V

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

Have a great weekend post benzo buddies.  If anyone has become benzo free in the last few days, weeks, or months, let us know how you're doing.

 

Vertigo

[[Sv...]]

Two month anniversary today Vertigo. Still have pretty significant DR, depression and a crazy pressure in my head. Going to increase my remeron a bit today to see if that helps. If I could just get rid of the DR life would be good......

[[ve...]]

Two month anniversary today Vertigo. Still have pretty significant DR, depression and a crazy pressure in my head. Going to increase my remeron a bit today to see if that helps. If I could just get rid of the DR life would be good......

 

Congrats on the two month milestone, Svenhoak.  It took me about 4 to really turn the corner.  You might get more lucky.  In any case, you're well on your way .

 

V

[[Bm...]]

Four months today for me!! I am having more windows and very grateful for that. I force myself to get out and do things. I feel that this helps stimulate my brain.

Hope everyone has a good and healing weekend!  Try to think in positive ways. This has helped me

[[ve...]]

Four months today for me!! I am having more windows and very grateful for that. I force myself to get out and do things. I feel that this helps stimulate my brain.

Hope everyone has a good and healing weekend!  Try to think in positive ways. This has helped me

 

Congrats on 4 months Bmw432 .  Glad you're having more windows and getting out to do more things.  I remember at 4 months, I had a wedding to go to in another state.  I debated whether to go or not and ultimately did.  I was glad that I made that extra effort.  Positive thinking can be helpful, but I also believe in the ACT approach which is a more mindful approach that is accepting of negative thoughts too.  One of the things that helped me the most is the notion that I don't have to get rid of anxiety, negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts... can just let them float by. Mindfulness based cognitive therapy or ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) both used this.

 

Best,

 

V

[[ve...]]

Hope the post benzo buddies have had a good weekend.

[[In...]]

Two months for me a few days back. Had my first real "window" last Tuesday for about 3 hours. From Wednesday to today so far it slammed back shut. All symptoms have come back over the week, some coming and going, some sticking around. DP/DR heavy, then moderate. Digestive system feels like it was scratched with sandpaper. Anxiety here and there. Tinnitus up and down. Overall crummy feeling. Interested to see how long this wave will last, how long until the intensity starts to decrease and when the next window might open! It still is really bad but I guess not as bad as the first month. Hoping for gradual progress now entering 3rd month klonopoin and all psych med free  Take care!

[[pa...]]

Hope the post benzo buddies have had a good weekend.

 

hi vertigo,

everyday is a weekend for me. (still homebounded.)

 

really appreciate for what you are doing vertigo. 

 

[[ve...]]

Two months for me a few days back. Had my first real "window" last Tuesday for about 3 hours. From Wednesday to today so far it slammed back shut. All symptoms have come back over the week, some coming and going, some sticking around. DP/DR heavy, then moderate. Digestive system feels like it was scratched with sandpaper. Anxiety here and there. Tinnitus up and down. Overall crummy feeling. Interested to see how long this wave will last, how long until the intensity starts to decrease and when the next window might open! It still is really bad but I guess not as bad as the first month. Hoping for gradual progress now entering 3rd month klonopoin and all psych med free  Take care!

 

Hope things continue to improve for you Innadaze.  Two month mark can still be rough with klonopin and sounds like you've also become med free of other things too, which can make it rough at times.  At least you've noticed some improvements compared to the first month off .  Sometimes it will zig zag, wax and wane a bit even through months 3 and 4.  In my case, by four months, I was definitely in a much better place, although it was a while before I declared victory over all symptoms.

 

V