Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Congrats cagr on six months off the benzo.  I was feeling about 80% at that point and felt like there was much hope that I would fully heal.  Don't beat yourself up Bluebell if you're not ready for full time work.  Six weeks off is still early. You'll know when you're ready to take the next steps.

 

Best wishes for continued healing,

 

Vertigo

[[ca...]]

Congrats cagr on six months off the benzo.  I was feeling about 80% at that point and felt like there was much hope that I would fully heal.  Don't beat yourself up Bluebell if you're not ready for full time work.  Six weeks off is still early. You'll know when you're ready to take the next steps.

 

Best wishes for continued healing,

 

Vertigo

 

hi vertigo - six months off and i'm am having panic attacks now...i need to learn to meditate i think that will help...it's crazy all these new symptoms i am having. hoping they will pass soon - it's really messing with my sleep. i feel like i don't have any control anymore, thought i would be having another window but doesn't seem like that...

[[ve...]]

Congrats cagr on six months off the benzo.  I was feeling about 80% at that point and felt like there was much hope that I would fully heal.  Don't beat yourself up Bluebell if you're not ready for full time work.  Six weeks off is still early. You'll know when you're ready to take the next steps.

 

Best wishes for continued healing,

 

Vertigo

hi vertigo - six months off and i'm am having panic attacks now...i need to learn to meditate i think that will help...it's crazy all these new symptoms i am having. hoping they will pass soon - it's really messing with my sleep. i feel like i don't have any control anymore, thought i would be having another window but doesn't seem like that...

 

Did you have panic attacks before?  I had never had one and at 5 or 6 months, I think it was a combination of rebound anxiety and maybe elevated blood pressure, had a mini panic, only happened for a minute or so, recovered and never had one again.  Things greatly improved after that.  Hope you will have similar luck.

 

Best,

 

V

[[ca...]]

Congrats cagr on six months off the benzo.  I was feeling about 80% at that point and felt like there was much hope that I would fully heal.  Don't beat yourself up Bluebell if you're not ready for full time work.  Six weeks off is still early. You'll know when you're ready to take the next steps.

 

Best wishes for continued healing,

 

Vertigo

hi vertigo - six months off and i'm am having panic attacks now...i need to learn to meditate i think that will help...it's crazy all these new symptoms i am having. hoping they will pass soon - it's really messing with my sleep. i feel like i don't have any control anymore, thought i would be having another window but doesn't seem like that...

 

Did you have panic attacks before?  I had never had one and at 5 or 6 months, I think it was a combination of rebound anxiety and maybe elevated blood pressure, had a mini panic, only happened for a minute or so, recovered and never had one again.  Things greatly improved after that.  Hope you will have similar luck.

 

Best,

 

V

 

Hi V - no never - I never even thought about it - I just had a major sleep disorder and some depression - but this is new for me..and it's kind of freaking me out..I've always been pretty calm - I suppose it has to do the w/d, but I'm thinking everybody is different.

 

Thanks for writing - what about you? Panic attacks? I swear until yesterday or the day before I was always pretty calm...I hope they go away I need to get some sleep...

 

 

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

Never had panic attacks before benzos and not really after, just the mini panic when I thought I was going to faint after going up the stairs at six months off, felt a bit of DR like I wasn't fully in my body, was probably a reaction to elevated blood pressure.  I had one other mini panic at a few months off, similar circumstances, mild dizziness and feeling light headed after pulliing out some clothes out of the dryer which was a lot of bending and turning my head.  I think the CNS just wasn't quite healed at that point, had been through shingles and was taking lots of motrin for the pain which I later read could cause elevated BP... time does heal along with putting in some effort to learn to deal with stress in better ways, mindfulness, getting some exercise...

 

Hope you feel better cagr1 and hope all the post benzo buddies have a good weekend,

 

Vertigo

[[pr...]]

Vertigo,

 

what does the 'c' mean?

[[ve...]]

Vertigo,

 

what does the 'c' mean?

 

dk

[[Ma...]]

What does dk mean?  :laugh:

 

[[ve...]]

What does dk mean?  :laugh:

 

[[ve...]]

Hope all post benzo buddies have had a good weekend.  Anyone recently off the benzo and feeling symptomatic?

 

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ih...]]

Somewhat disappointed to suspect that I am going to be an average healer & take the 14 months or thereabouts to be fully healed.

 

Causation in bz wdwl is largely within the margin of error, (IMO), it amuses me when OPs make definitive statements about things that have "caused" waves.

 

Whichever the chicken or egg, have had a bad sinus infection, codeine wdwls after the salmonella poisoning & my classic benzo flu complete with POTS.

 

The codeine is probably at least partially responsible as its a glutamate antagonist so taking it away has revved up the GLU.

 

Am plunging back to FT study next month in the belief that I will truly be over it in another 4 months. Sometimes wonder I i should have done a slow taper but thats completely illogiccal given that I am probably healing at the average rate regardless.

 

Waiting to hear how a dear friend has gone with her short film at the Palm Springs Fest. Gorgeous sunny day today so wont be wishing the next 4 months away so I can be well again.

 

Best to al my fellow bz free BBs.

 

[[al...]]

 

I actually was wondering the same thing....what does dk meand...what does bump mean, what does c mean, what does dr and dp mean....having a hard time deciphering them......this is a great thread.....I am still tapring but it is giving me an idea of what is to come! the first time I tapered I was only on lorazepam for 6 months at varying doses and then more regularily in the last few months. I was smoking pot a lot during my taper and  my taper went fast and it was a hard but I did it in a month or so and I felt fantastic the next day after I stopped. like I was no longer sedated or depressed which is what benzo's do to me. I had so much energy and felt amazing! then I was put back on it 6 months later for a stomach problem  and here I am 3 years later, tapering multiple meds for 16 months.....I really hope that I feel the same way this time when I stop I am crossing my fingers. however maybe the pot was masking the problem and w.d. and keeping my nervous system calm post w.d...something i have considered....i haven't smoked in years....obviously this taper has been harder and more challenging. but the depression is lifted now that I am closer to the end of the taper...the fatigue and sedation are still there. I am wondering if anyone here had experience tapering twice and if the experience was similar both times........thank you to anyone who takes the time to respond ! kindly , Alabama. xo

[[pr...]]

What does dk mean?  :laugh:

 

 

so this means that you're not going to tell us what the "c" means or the "dk"  can you tell us why you don't want to tell us what these things mean Vertigo?

[[pr...]]

alabama,

 

are you asking what those thing mean or do you know? if you're asking, i think bump means when someone wants to 'bump' up a thread because they want an answer. dp=depersonalization dr=derealisation and not sure what "c" or "dk" means still> and still not sure what  means?

 

 

[[ve...]]

alabama,

 

are you asking what those thing mean or do you know? if you're asking, i think bump means when someone wants to 'bump' up a thread because they want an answer. dp=depersonalization dr=derealisation and not sure what "c" or "dk" means still> and still not sure what  means?

 

dk means "don't know".

 

means "that's funny"

 

"c" means "a random letter I use to bump up the thread".

 

HAAW means "hope all are well"

 

HAAW!

 

V (for vertigo )

[[al...]]

thank you, I really didn't know what any of those things meant! Alabama xo

[[Ma...]]

14 months, 18.... it takes a long time to completely heal from this, it does, no matter what "they" say. I've never known anyone, not anyone to be completely over it after even 2 years. Everyone I know has had lingering business for 4 years or more and I don't think this is just perception. Are they able to get on with their lives? Absolutely. Long before the  4 years are up? Yes yes. But still, they comment with amazement that the fog continues to lift for so long afterwards. For those of us, like me, who develop sensitivities, the wait for total healing can be very long indeed, but it does come, it does. I always go back to what my original withdrawal guy said which was a minimum of 2 years for the brain to heal. The first year tended to be mostly physical stuff, the second year mostly emotional. Then I talked to his assistant who watched her aunt go through it and she was it takes 5 years, period, 5 years and for some it can be just a devastating time and I believe her. To tell you the truth, I'm expecting 5 years for myself but I'll be thrilled if it's less. It is crucial not to beat up on yourself. Not to compare yourself with anyone else, going through it or not. No one can know the demands of another's journey, and we can't anticipate or even fully get the demands of our own while we're going through it so why even bother? Nice idea, but say, I'm insanely ambitious, always have been and that doesn't go away. Not being able to pursue my life makes me feel like a tiger in a cage..... so now that I can, I walk a lot, yes I pace, like the tiger in the cage, and I will continue to do so till I can run again, and I will.

xm

[[ve...]]

It's all relative Marina. If one is functioning and working towards one's goals, pursuing one's values and making progress in various areas of one's life, time is just a number.  Also, I think it can be helpful to look at how one is doing in comparison to how one was doing before the benzo and also whether one is still addicted to or dependent on other medications or even alcohol, to better gauge healing.  If one is off the benzo but having to consume moderate amounts of alcohol to sleep or to keep GABA receptors stimulated, then it's probably likely to take two or more years to heal.  Everyone is different though and depending on many factors including age, time on benzo, dose, general health, family or relationship support, good medical care, diet, exercise, other meds... it may or may not take so long to heal.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ih...]]

I'm with M on the pacing tiger. I will be much happier when the physical sx have resolved as they are what stop me from getting on with my goals.

 

I have had plenty of stressors to deal with in.ife, (in terms of things that psychologists rate as commonly most stressful in the general populace), so am stronger mentally than physically but mental strength has not enabled me to get the physical sx to stop. (just to not get too demoralised when noone acknowledges my posts  .)

[[Fl...]]

Aww, Ihope, I know that feeling and I've been guilty of not acknowledging people's posts. You contribute a great deal here and we appreciate you!

 

Have you ever read about the ACE study? The acronym stands for Adverse Childhood Events. It was done in Californa a few years back and is worth a google search. The short version is that a number of types of childhood events can create physical symptoms. I have been reading about it and it is fascinating to me. When I did the neuropsych eval last fall, I scores off the charts on psychosomatic symptoms. Some of that was benzos, of course, but I'm taking a hard look at whether all of it is. It's interesting. Of course, it may have nothing at all to do with what you are going through and I certainly don't mean to imply anything. To my way of thinking, knowledge is power, though, you know?

 

Hope you are doing OK, my friend. Hang tough.

Flip

[[ih...]]

Thanks Flip, you put in a lot more here than me & I am generally better at the practical advice side than the comfort giving side, (a bit blokey in that respect but apparently my female side wants the warm fuzzies too).

 

I don't dismiss the mind body connection at all. I was hospitalised with bacterial meningitis at age 4 in the days when they would isolate you, so no contact with the rest of my family for what seemed a long time, then caught whooping cough in hospital so the isolation period was extended. Studies have found that meningitis patients may have deficits into adulthood, ( could have been a nuclear physicist but for,  ). No doubt the separation was traumatic for me & impacted the development of my personality.

 

I can believe that the physical stuff is an alternate manifestation of anxiety, (compounded by undersize plumbing, (the ENT said my nasal passages were the smallest he had seen).

 

I can do a lot more to quiet my mind, so thanks for reminding me not to dismiss the physical as just physical. Extra thanks for thinking of me when you are going through so much yourself.

 

I was thinking just how strong you are when waiting in the eye hospital for my husband to be treated after he put his ear drops in his eye. What a fuss he made & managed to make the drama extend out a week. If men had to give birth, it would be a very small planet.

[[pr...]]

14 months, 18.... it takes a long time to completely heal from this, it does, no matter what "they" say. I've never known anyone, not anyone to be completely over it after even 2 years. Everyone I know has had lingering business for 4 years or more and I don't think this is just perception. Are they able to get on with their lives? Absolutely. Long before the  4 years are up? Yes yes. But still, they comment with amazement that the fog continues to lift for so long afterwards. For those of us, like me, who develop sensitivities, the wait for total healing can be very long indeed, but it does come, it does. I always go back to what my original withdrawal guy said which was a minimum of 2 years for the brain to heal. The first year tended to be mostly physical stuff, the second year mostly emotional. Then I talked to his assistant who watched her aunt go through it and she was it takes 5 years, period, 5 years and for some it can be just a devastating time and I believe her. To tell you the truth, I'm expecting 5 years for myself but I'll be thrilled if it's less. It is crucial not to beat up on yourself. Not to compare yourself with anyone else, going through it or not. No one can know the demands of another's journey, and we can't anticipate or even fully get the demands of our own while we're going through it so why even bother? Nice idea, but say, I'm insanely ambitious, always have been and that doesn't go away. Not being able to pursue my life makes me feel like a tiger in a cage..... so now that I can, I walk a lot, yes I pace, like the tiger in the cage, and I will continue to do so till I can run again, and I will.

xm

 

everytime i read a post like this or any post for that matter pertaining to the time it can take for the benzo healing (i like to call it now)--i can't help but refer back to what i was possibly going through the first time i got off benzo's. when i was clean, sober and going to AA for those 7 years. i just didn't really understand what was happening to me. why i was all of sudden becoming sensitive to one chemical after another. why i was so fatigued all the time. i was working and started my own business. i recorded a record and started a second one but i just couldn't keep things up and if i had known i was most likely only having protracted wd sxs from benzo's and also being opiates as well, i would have done things differently. i surely wouldn't have started up on the benzo's again. i am now wondering if starting to use benzo's again was a protracted wd sxs?

 

i too feel like a caged Tiger and i am starting to go really crazy here. not only has it been 14 months for me as well but over 9 years of tolerance wd and trying every single January to get off benzo's was so tiring. people who heal within the 2 years are indeed very lucky. but there still are a minority that take a few years more. every single person i've spoken to about this about who is not on this forum has taken way over 5 years. like you m, i am expecting about 5 years for myself but if it's a shorter time i will be very thrilled indeed.

[[ve...]]

I'm with M on the pacing tiger. I will be much happier when the physical sx have resolved as they are what stop me from getting on with my goals.

 

I have had plenty of stressors to deal with in.ife, (in terms of things that psychologists rate as commonly most stressful in the general populace), so am stronger mentally than physically but mental strength has not enabled me to get the physical sx to stop. (just to not get too demoralised when noone acknowledges my posts  .)

 

Ihope, only you can stop you from getting on with your goals.  I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but people can be in pain AND still pursue goals.  I realized that myself last year and have managed to do so, albeit no longer benzo pain, but still have lots of stress (parent with terminal cancer among other stress...).  I recommend two books by Joanne Dahl.  One is called Living Beyond your Pain and the other is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Chronic Pain.  They use the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) approach.  By the way, I've never given birth but I do know that there are many physical tasks I do for my family that my wife could not do.

 

Best wishes,

 

Vertigo

[[ih...]]

Didn't think the men would let me off that one.

 

Vertigo, it's not the pain that stops me but the POTs which causes blood pressure plummets & falling & the benzo flu which comes complete with fever & the energy level of a snail. I had trigeminal neuralgia for a long time, (google that if you want to see people discussing pain) & worked in a high paid 80 hour a week job all through it. Pain is a party compared with bz wdwl, IMO.

 

I do use mindfulness meditation which I think is similar to the ACT in philosophy.