Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Will check back later after my son's game.  Hopefully the adrenalin will stay in check.

 

Vertigo

[[Li...]]

ONE YEAR OFF BENZOS TODAY!! 

 

Doing pretty well overall. Still have pain, insomnia, fatigue, cog fog, nausea- all come and go, and are getting better with time.

 

 

Libby

[[gi...]]

Congratulations, Libby!

 

My update:

3 years 5 months out:

 

Beyond imagination, screaming tinnitus

Mild burning mouth

Many cognitive issues (short term memory loss,easily confused, inability to understand new information or learn & perform new tasks, easily overwhelmed, quick to anger or cry, difficulty contributing to or coping with social situations, etc)

Stress causes symptom resurgence/wave (burning, pounding back; headaches; sweating; IBS; glowing colors)

Low-grade anxiety constant

Wasted muscles have never come back. In fact, now, my left shoulder, shoulder blade and clavicle protrude. I literally have only skin covering the bones from my torso up. My MIL is convinced I'm anorexic but I'm not.

Beyond imagination Insomnia.  I sleep 30-60 minutes, am awake for 30 or so minutes, and then sleep for another 30-60, etc.  Altogether I sleep 4-5 hours/night.  Part of my insomnia is due to the tinnitus which often is so bad it wakes me up.

 

 

Living la vida loca, baby!

 

 

 

[[ve...]]

ONE YEAR OFF BENZOS TODAY!! 

Doing pretty well overall. Still have pain, insomnia, fatigue, cog fog, nausea- all come and go, and are getting better with time.

Libby

 

Great update, Libby.  Congrats on 1 year .  Things were not all rosy for me at one year but they did keep improving, as they will for you too! 

 

Sorry things are still rough going, Ginger. The tinnitus sounds like something that would be very difficult to cope with.

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

v

[[ve...]]

Will check back later after my son's game.  Hopefully the adrenalin will stay in check.

Vertigo

 

This is a first.  I'm going to reply to my own post .  Hey, I can do that once before I leave forum, right?  Anyway, the game went pretty well this past weekend.  I tried to be more mindful of the fight/flight surge and especially after the game.  I was able to fall asleep and stayed asleep for about six hours so that's progress.  We made the playoffs but it'll be over soon.  I need to lose about 10lbs, maybe that will help get me back to a healthier lifestyle and will see if it might help sleep too.  Two years ago as I was heading towards my first benzo free summer, I was excited about all the "fun" I was going to make up for the past year of tapering and loss.  I was not as mindful as I could be about what I ate and drank.  Two years later, I need to be more careful about it as I don't want to get hit with any more post summer setbacks!  It's going to be a busy summer again, but moderation will be important.

 

Cheers,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

If you are finished with your taper, detox or c/t and would like to share your experiences, many have found some comfort in posting about remaining symptoms  in those early weeks and months off, getting feedback from others who are also off the benzo beast.  I started this thread back in 2010 when I was a few months off valium.  Some have come and gone, others have given periodic updates along the way.  Some have struggled for longer than others, and many have healed and are continuing to heal.  Others have come back or stuck around to help some fellow buddies.  I've seen new members and old members come and go over the last couple years.  It's been helpful to me and others to support one another after the benzo taper has been over.  If you have something to add, the post benzo buddies who remain are here to support you.  One of the things that I learned after starting this thread was that there were quite a few buddies who like me were not protracted, but still were having some remaining post benzo challenges.  One doesn't  become protracted until at least 18 months, yet one can be off the benzo up to the first year and a half and perhaps have some noticeable symptoms even after going off the benzo.  Feel free to post your experience here.

 

Best wishes,

 

Vertigo

[[Un...]]

Well I got my numbering all wrong last time.  I said 10 months when it was 9 months.  I am now at 10months this week!

It is getting better guys.  It really is.  Most of my symptoms are gone now.  I don't feel 100% yet, but I dare put myself at 95%.  I get a few days of down still but it is a much more pleasant wave then before.  As if there is anything pleasant in a wave! 

 

Anyway.  There isn't too much left now.  I still get occasional tinitus from day to day.  Mostly on work days and not at home.  So I think this might be in part with work stress triggering it.  I get a few dizzy spells that are very light in nature now.  I do get the down feeling and a little depression but this might just be life.  For some reason I still have to be very careful with my eating schedules and to keep them maintained.  If I do not I get a bit weak and jittery.  Maybe my body has been craving more protein?  Dunno what is up with that but I will just try to keep this up.  Maybe with age I have become hungrier?  Could also be that my benzo "disease" has caused me to be more selective with my eating.  My diet has become very healthy now with almost all fried food, sugars or bad things cut out.  Having a vegetable instead of a snickers, or a carrot juice instead of a soda is a positive in my book! 

 

Bottom line.  I see improvements.  Big ones!  Looking back at my old posts, man, it was pure HELL!  I appreciate every minute that I feel normal now.  I still do not drink caffeine nor alcohol.  I do want to try beer again though!  I have decided that I will wait till 12months before I even dare to attempt alcohol again.  I am still waiting to see how things are till then though.  Hang in there everyone, there comes an end to the suffering.  Had you told me this 3 or 4months ago I would not believe you.  But it does get better....it just takes a while and works really really slow! 

[[ve...]]

v

[[br...]]

I stuck between a rock and a hard place. I stopped Klonopin C/T almost 2 weeks ago. I thought I had it beat since I didn't feel much withdrawals. Then, Saturday I started to feel it all creeping back. I am on Remeron and was feeling so damn good and my doctor gave me Clonodine to take for 2 weeks. I took one pill and think that set me back. I don't know if what I'm feeling is the Clonodine interfering with the remeron OR if at 2 weeks my W/D are starting to gear up badly. My mind feels calm but my body is out of control. I just don't know what to do. I was on Klonopin for 2 weeks with doses of .25 to .125 before that I was on and off with Xanax and Klonopin and took a total of 43 pill in the span of a few months. Should I stick it out? Right now I feel all my fear coming back; which was GONE.

 

This is just horrible. The one good thing is that I'm sleeping through the night and only waking up once. I want to call my psychiatrist and ask him what to do but I know he is going to say that its crazy for it to still be in my system.

[[ve...]]

I stuck between a rock and a hard place. I stopped Klonopin C/T almost 2 weeks ago. I thought I had it beat since I didn't feel much withdrawals. Then, Saturday I started to feel it all creeping back. I am on Remeron and was feeling so damn good and my doctor gave me Clonodine to take for 2 weeks. I took one pill and think that set me back. I don't know if what I'm feeling is the Clonodine interfering with the remeron OR if at 2 weeks my W/D are starting to gear up badly. My mind feels calm but my body is out of control. I just don't know what to do. I was on Klonopin for 2 weeks with doses of .25 to .125 before that I was on and off with Xanax and Klonopin and took a total of 43 pill in the span of a few months. Should I stick it out? Right now I feel all my fear coming back; which was GONE.  This is just horrible. The one good thing is that I'm sleeping through the night and only waking up once. I want to call my psychiatrist and ask him what to do but I know he is going to say that its crazy for it to still be in my system.

 

Hi Brasileiaro.  It can be a difficult decision whether to reinstate or stick with a c/t.  Nobody can answer this for you but you and your doctor.  For me, reinstatement was a good option which a doctor agreed to, others did not believe my situation was related to my c/t.  I had only been on valium for about 3 weeks but after I returned from a trip, I stopped taking it (c/t) and developed increasing agitation, sleeplessness and vertigo about three weeks later.  I believe klonopin takes a little less time (maybe 1-2 weeks to fully process out of the body).  People, especially those who may be more sensitive to benzodiazapenes, can experience acute withdrawal symptoms in the early months off the benzo.  Some like me and some others may have a waxing and waning of physical and/or other symptoms for some prolonged period of months.  As you know, there is quite a bit of information and opinions on reinstatement in the Cold Turkey/Detox section of this forum.  Is your doctor willing to help you reinstate should you want to try that?  Another option might be to reinstate to some low dose of valium and slowly taper off that when you are ready. 

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

That's a great update, Unr3al.  90-95% at 10 months is awesome.  Hope it continues through the summer.  Watch the beer situation .  I was going into my first summer (2010) off valium at about 6 or 7 months and overdid the caffeine, some alcohol and junk food... I see you're smarter than I was with the carrots vs the snickers! Take it in moderation and you should do fine.  Smart to wait until a year if you can before introducing the alcohol and I would suggest going easy and on a full stomach, if you do. 

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[pa...]]

Hi V!

 

As promised I'm back with a reply to the blog. I had a major setback to deal with lately but I feel now like I've gotten through it and I'm back to business as usual.

I'm looking forward to being a chaperon on my daughter's upcoming field trip. It will be fairly local and it sounds like the 8th grade teacher has some really nice outings planned. My daughter's class was really the first one I got to know since she's the oldest. They are graduating this year. I'm glad to say that her classmates get along well.

I'll be spending most days this week with little work so I'll try to post more on the forum, V, especially since you plan to step down.

I want you to know, V, that I really have appreciated all you've done. You have been rather remarkable in your efforts to respond back to reply's and helping others here as their situations arise. I don't quite know how you keep up but it is nice that you have.

Take good care and I'll blog more tomorrow.

[[ve...]]

Hi V!  I had a major setback to deal with lately but I feel now like I've gotten through it and I'm back to business as usual.  I'm looking forward to being a chaperon on my daughter's upcoming field trip. It will be fairly local and it sounds like the 8th grade teacher has some really nice outings planned. My daughter's class was really the first one I got to know since she's the oldest. They are graduating this year. I'm glad to say that her classmates get along well.  I'll be spending most days this week with little work so I'll try to post more on the forum, V, especially since you plan to step down.  I want you to know, V, that I really have appreciated all you've done. You have been rather remarkable in your efforts to respond back to reply's and helping others here as their situations arise. I don't quite know how you keep up but it is nice that you have.

Take good care and I'll blog more tomorrow.

 

Hi Pangelingua.  Congrats on your daughter's upcoming graduation and I hope you will enjoy the chaperone outing that is planned.  Many thanks for your kind words about me.  Yes, I am not going to be around more than about another week.  I do need to spend more time with my family and attending to some important matters this summer, not that forum isn't important!  Glad to hear your setback has calmed and that you are feeling better.  Hope to see you around this week,

 

Vertigo

[[An...]]

Ohhh V. Gonna miss ya!! Shame we shall probably lose touch. But glad we are getting on with our lives.

 

Like Pangeulina I had a major setback but think I am ok now - getting there anyway.

 

Hugs and kisses

Angel

 

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

I want to add that I've begun to exercise on my recumbant bike this week and it has made a difference in my moods.  Although a stroll or walk can be helpful to get outdoors for some sunshine and vitamin D, I think it's also very helpful to break a sweat which one can do on the exercise bike.  Also, for older folks, it can build up the quads which will be useful as knees may get weaker in the sixties and seventies.  I was able to lose about 25lbs back in Fall 2010 (after my big setback at 9 months off) but sadly, have slowly regained much of that weight through 2011 and particularly since Thanksgiving .  I've started back on the bike  and can already notice a spike in mood. 

 

There may be other exercise equipment that some may prefer but both my wife and I lost over 20lbs with the recumbant bike.  My wife kept most of her weight off , maybe gained back 7-8lbs in the last 18 months.  One of the reasons I cut back on the recumbant bike was that after we got a puppy last year, I felt guilty getting on the bike and felt that walking the dog was important and would be enough.  It isn't because I don't sweat enough and I've gradually walked more slowly as the dog likes to smell the roses .  While I still thinkn there are some benefits to the sunshine and getting outdoors, I've come to realize that the bike and sweating is essential as well.

 

I'm not big on the treadmill although some like that and I used to belong to a gym but found myself making excuses to go there.  The bike has been the best.  Always start gradually, maybe only five minutes to start if you have not done much exercise lately and check with your doctor about your overall health before embarking on an exercise program.  I hope to lose some serious weight between now and Thanksgiving, but I won't be low carbing to the extent I did back in 2010 but will also be eating more healthy as well.  I'll be happy to lose 10-12lbs by Thanksgiving .

 

Good luck,

 

Vertigo

 

[[mt...]]

Hi guys

My blood tests came back and I was surprised to see that my B12 levels were very low.  Just a tad over the line into what the US defines as normal.  In researching further I found that in other countries I would be considered deficient.  I took a look over my last 3 blood work ups and see that B12 levels were not even tested.  Reading up on symptoms made me think that alot of what I have been struggling with may have been attributed to low B12.  Amazing that all my previous Docs did not order the test.  Apparently long term low levels can reap havoc on the body.

 

I am now supplementing with Jarrow Methyl B12 Oral tablets 5000mcg.  Its just been a few days so will see if my energy and digestion and outlook improves.  So glad I discovered it now and hopefully will get levels back up over the next few weeks.

 

Anyway if you have not had your levels checked in a while -you may want to take a look.

 

I am hoping this will get me back to working out every day!!

Mimi 

[[pa...]]

Hi again V!

I'm back as promised.

I also have a recumbent bike that I try to ride every day for 30 minutes. It had a digital display that would show the time and calories burned. Unfortunately, the display went dead and changing the batteries didn't help. So now, I still ride it but without seeing calories lost. This was one way that I helped to keep my weight down after being on remeron. I've always noticed a slight increase in appetite when I've been on it. Anyway, my weight currently is down to 167 lbs last I weighed myself which at 6' tall I'd say is perfect!

You are correct that bike riding (whether indoor or outdoor) can be a big mood picker upper! I highly recommend it for correcting the blues. I always put on a favorite CD with classic rock or oldies and I really get into it!

Hi Angel! I think you were one who responded to my Levis post. I was able to add a pic of my jeans to the post. You can view it sometime when you have more time to visit the forum. Glad to hear that your setback is through. My head is still pounding a bit, but I think I'm through the worst.

 

Mtmimi, I've been taking extra V-12 in a complete B complex for a long time now. I don't think I'm deficient but I think it helps me on those nights I work late or have to do alternating work/sleep schedules.

Hope everyone here is doing well this week and I'll check back later.

[[ve...]]

c

[[ve...]]

Ohhh V. Gonna miss ya!! Shame we shall probably lose touch. But glad we are getting on with our lives.Like Pangeulina I had a major setback but think I am ok now - getting there anyway.

Hugs and kisses

Angel

 

Thanks for the update, Angel.  I'm gonna miss all my buddies as well, but the time is now approaching to make that final jump, from forum.  I wrote my success story last year in May and it just feels like time to move on.  I'm sure I'll be tempted to look in to see if this thread is still active over the summer . There seem to be fewer newbies posting lately, so maybe it's run it's course.  It's had a nice run with the 3000 replies and over 300 pages now.  I recently read a post of an old buddy who tapered off a couple months after my taper ended in 2009, unfortunately read that he had just reinstated and was going to begin a new taper.  It can be rough even one or two years out.  Another buddy posted I think on this thread about reinstating after a bout of strong insomnia.  Most of us fortunately make it and heal, while some do end up reinstating.  I hope those who are still struggling and off the benzo will remain off and find joy in life off the benzo.

 

'

 

V

[[gi...]]

John,

 

I said goodbye to you before and you stayed so I'm hoping that if I say goodbye to you again you won't leave this time, either.

So...

goodbye!

g

[[ve...]]

c

[Guest [...]]

hey Verti

 

can you please go to the c/t thread and have a look at my seizure question noone has answered and I want to go to bed but am freaking out.

 

thanks for being constant I need to get info before you leave lol.

 

Lizzyx