Short term benzo users

[[su...]]

Aww, thank you as well flutternutter.  Sincerely the gratitude I have for the kindness and support of Buddies here is immeasurable.  Not sure what I would have done without the information here and the supportive morale.  Agreed, the windows need to match up, but will get through this together.

 

Well my shortie compatriots this wave is carrying on but it hasn’t gone back up in severity. It’s about where I left off last night when things began to go down a notch, especially the anxiety.  My back is still very tight with shifting spots of discomfort and pain so it’s been tricky getting comfortable today.  The heating pad and ice packs are my besties again.  Going to turn in now and hoping for a restful evening. 

 

Wishing you all a healing night, my friends!

 

 

[[...]]

Today wasn’t terrible.  Just some shortness of breathe and anxiety after eating.  Nothing too bad. 

 

How is everyone doing?

[[su...]]

JBen, so glad to hear someone is doing okay.  Me, not so much.  Had my worst night of this wave, the worst wave I have had since off the benzo and harkening back to when I was wholly unstable during rapid withdrawal.  How is this stinking possible?  I'm licking my wounds today.  This wave needs to exit stat because I can't handle this. 

[[...]]

Gosh sunshine I am so sorry.  I was there just a week ago when I wrote in my journal that I was completely broken.  It is so weird how this thing progresses.  I am sending you lots of positive healing energy today. 

 

Stay strong.  Your window is right around the corner!

[Guest [fl...]]

sunshine75, I so feel your pain! This was me last week. This week is steady persistence of symptoms that slowly decrease. The persistent anxiety is hard, but I am finding a way to distract. Had a lot of middle of night anxiety, ugh.

 

JBen021, I am glad you are doing well!

 

Hugs everyone!

[[su...]]

This wave is carrying on.  I did get sleep last night (THANK GOODNESS) and praying hard tonight it comes as well. Things only eased at some points today, but no signs of lifting.  I'm feeling panicked again and hypochondriac mentality is in full force.  THIS IS SO FREAKIN HARD. 

[Guest [fl...]]

sunshine, hang in there. I had a wave like this recently and didn't know how I'd make it through. It passed, though, and yours will too. Unfortunately, I was improving now not so much. Sigh, this is so hard. Hoping for better days ahead for us both.

[[su...]]

This is so damn hard, flutternutter.  I haven’t felt this panicky in so long.  I have experienced heavy handed anxiety and small moments of that impending doom/panic, but this is just like acute and I feel like I want to scale the walls and yet hide under a blanket in a corner.  I miss my old waves.  How sad is that?!

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Hey sunshine.  Hope you heal soon!!!!!

[[su...]]

Hey sunshine.  Hope you heal soon!!!!!

 

Me too, JBen, me too.  Current situation is laying on the floor with an ice pack on my neck and back as it’s the only thing working to confuse and soothe my nervous right now.  Saltines, apple slices and my three year old on an iPad laying beside me.  It’s pitiful and makes me feel so despondent.  But I’m gonna beat this f#@$&* one way or another.

[[...]]

Please keep us posted.  We want to take this journey with you!

[Guest [fl...]]

sunshine, I am so sorry for this awful wave. I pray it passes for you soon.

[[su...]]

Thank you so much my shortie compatriots.  I’m having not really a window but a dulling down of the intensity this evening, and I really needed it.  Hoping this breaks soon.  A decent night of sleep would also be most welcomed. 

 

 

[Guest [fl...]]

Yay, sunshine! That is the beginning of the end of this wave I hope!

[[da...]]

Hello. I am tapering down on Xanax. Sleeping very well, and functional through the day. The only real symptom is the occasional head zap, which seems to be going down in frequency.

 

My dosage was 0.078mg on Apr-29-2021, and I am reducing by 0.005mg consistently every day.

 

I plan to taper down to 0.01mg and then will take the tiny jump.

[Guest [fl...]]

darkarchon, amazing! I so wish I had tapered like this :-( Maybe I wouldn't be suffering so much at 7 months.

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Darkarchon.  Welcome to the group and yes that is GREAT!  Keep going and go slow.  Like really slow.

 

Fluffer, sunshine - how are you doing?

 

I havent seen warrior in a while . . .

[[su...]]

Welcome Darkarchon.  It sounds like you are doing very well and glad to hear you are going low and slow.  If I could go back in time and change anything (other than never taking the benzo in the first place) it would be tapering slow, but I was taken off too fast by a Dr. and by the time I figured out what really needed to happen, I was too horribly unstable and too scared to updose.  You are doing things the right way and it should pay dividends for you. 

 

JBen & fluffernutter, I am not out of this wave yet, but the lifting of severity that happened yesterday has stayed.  I managed sleep again last night with only two wakes.  The nausea was only around for a little this morning, so that is one thing I am happy to see gone today.  What is interesting is I'm having a revisit of some mild DR/DP which I am not a fan of at all.  It's not the worst symptom but it's just so disconcerting.  The back tightness and anxiety has been intermittent all day long along with A LOT of paresthesia and muscle twitching that keeps shifting locations.  It's weird to me how this wave has been different, and I wish I knew if was a good sign. 

 

Hoping Warrior has been in a lovely window.  Healing vibes to all my shorties! 

[Guest [fl...]]

sunshine75, I think that every wave brings with it healing. As the symptoms come up, the brain is working hard to repair. Your brain wants to be healthy - I remind myself of this everyday. When things go wrong, it wants to repair itself. So, as awful as they are, I think symptoms are a stimulus for repair. Hang in there - it's time for us to stop this dance. I swear, my waves are your windows and vice versa. So let's make a date - we are both going to have windows soon. And as for waves, not setting any date for that, I think it's time to quit those!!!

 

I hope you shorties are doing well - XOXO!

[[su...]]

sunshine75, I think that every wave brings with it healing. As the symptoms come up, the brain is working hard to repair. Your brain wants to be healthy - I remind myself of this everyday. When things go wrong, it wants to repair itself. So, as awful as they are, I think symptoms are a stimulus for repair. Hang in there - it's time for us to stop this dance. I swear, my waves are your windows and vice versa. So let's make a date - we are both going to have windows soon. And as for waves, not setting any date for that, I think it's time to quit those!!!

 

I hope you shorties are doing well - XOXO!

 

flutternutter I am feeling desperate this morning.  So longing for the old waves (but really no waves and a date for permanent window would be absolute perfection—please make this so).  Rough night sleeping as the back squeezing sensation and pressure was quite unbearable.  Nothing was working.  Now my anxiety is in high gear and I feel panicky again.  Numbness and tingling in hands feeling, like I smacked my elbows and tremor has snuck back in along with the nausea.  I just don’t understand this at all.  My progress for 8 months seemed steady and the waves hard but doable.  My 15 year old is trying to help me as much as she can and had to hold me this morning while I cried.  I’m scared, having that overwhelming feeling to go to ER but terrified at same time of that happening. 

 

I wish I could be positive today. 

[[...]]

Hang in there sunshine.  It is really really hard.  It know it is.  I’ll be sending you positive vibes today.

[[Wa...]]

I'm alive but barely.

 

Stopped caring about what I what happens to me a few days ago. Been hiding in my office playing video games cause it's the only thing that doesn't make me think about my pathetic life.

 

I'm sorry for your suffering sunshine. Sending you hugs.

[[...]]

Andie!  Missed you.  I am sorry you are feeling so bad.  It will get better though.  Video games can be a really good distraction.    I’ve worn out my ipad screen during these last 5 months!

 

Months 3 & 4 were really bad for me but month 5 is better.  Well better enough.  Hoping you have a speedy recovery

[Guest [fl...]]

Warrior2021, I am so sorry that you are feeling bad. I started feeling a lot better at about 3.5 months and progressively got better from there, with ups and downs of course. Hang in there - the worst is behind you, even if it doesn't feel that way.

 

[[Ka...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Here is my 4-month update. I am now 4 months off Ativan 🙂 short term use and the following has occurred:

 

Month 1: approx 18 days of windows 🙂 and 13 days of waves 😔

Month 2: approx 20 days of windows 🙂 and 8 days of waves 😔

Month 3: approx 21 days of windows 🙂 and 10 days of waves 😔

Month 4: approx 24 days of windows 🙂 and 6 days of waves 😔

 

The windows: slight tinnitus, slight lightheaded, slight chemical brain, able to function normally (work, exercise, drive, socialize), broken sleep 7-8 hrs/night, feeling 80-95% well.

 

The waves: EXTREME tinnitus, EXTREME ears hissing/pressure, dizziness, vibrations, inner tremors, feeling anxious, broken sleep approx 4 hrs/night, feeling 50-60% well.

 

Overall feeling for month 4: generally, the waves were less brutal than previous months. Feeling more healed, less scared of the waves. Also, I am way more busy with distractions and that helps immensely.

 

What has changed: the sleep is overall better, waking up on average twice per night, able to fall back asleep though.

 

I am hopeful that things will continue to get better, and wishing all benzo buddies a fast and healthy recovery.

 

If anyone has any specific questions regarding symptoms and timeline, please reply and I will gladly describe.

 

Karla