Short term benzo users

[[En...]]

Hello guys my first post here. For 5 months and a half I used 0.25 Xanax a day with the occasional 0.5, 2 weeks ago I went cold turkey because my doctor told me I could do it but I felt sooo bad I tried to push it through one week but things didn’t get any better so I talked to my doctor and she told me to take half pill of the 0.25. Things were good the first day but I started to feel bad again so we decided to switch to the drops and now I take the equivalent of 0.2 dividing the dose in 3 or 4 small doses. The thing is I feel like on a boat constantly, I’m so dizzy I have to stay in bed all day long and I also have tinnitus.. the plan was to taper every 10/14 days but until I can’t go take a walk it’s better to hold I guess? I can’t even sit on a the passenger seat because I feel nausea after 1 minute.

[[su...]]

Hello guys my first post here. For 5 months and a half I used 0.25 Xanax a day with the occasional 0.5, 2 weeks ago I went cold turkey because my doctor told me I could do it but I felt sooo bad I tried to push it through one week but things didn’t get any better so I talked to my doctor and she told me to take half pill of the 0.25. Things were good the first day but I started to feel bad again so we decided to switch to the drops and now I take the equivalent of 0.2 dividing the dose in 3 or 4 small doses. The thing is I feel like on a boat constantly, I’m so dizzy I have to stay in bed all day long and I also have tinnitus.. the plan was to taper every 10/14 days but until I can’t go take a walk it’s better to hold I guess? I can’t even sit on a the passenger seat because I feel nausea after 1 minute.

 

So sorry to hear you are suffering and another victim to these terrible drugs, EnzoIt.  It is good though that you have figured things out and are tapering down slowly now.  I do not recommend a rapid taper unless it is urgently necessary.  What you are experiencing sounds pretty par for the course, unfortunately.  Sometimes stabilizing means somewhat functioning, not wholly better.  I know during my very pell-mell, rapid taper that I was never fully stabilized, just barely functioning. 

 

This is so difficult to determine.  Some people will updose to stabilize but there is no guarantee that updosing will work. I believe the Ashton protocol says to never updose, and many here will voice the same advice.  Others will hold longer, but again there is no guarantee of fully stabilizing. I’ve heard of buddies holding for months, some getting reprieve, others not.  Have you posted in the withdrawing thread yet?  I know there are some experienced Buddies around who can perhaps offer better advice on the holding aspect. 

 

Wishing you well and a fast recovery! 

[[su...]]

Shorties,

 

I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT!  This is freaking amazing.  No broken sleep at all and 7 WHOLE hours. 7!!! Granted, my back muscles are still screaming at me this morning and my spine is vibrating today, but I slept.  I actually slept. 

 

I had to share this news because it is huge for me. I may be feeling physically miserable but I am ecstatic this morning. 

 

Hugs to all. 

 

 

 

[[Wa...]]

Shorties,

 

I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT!  This is freaking amazing.  No broken sleep at all and 7 WHOLE hours. 7!!! Granted, my back muscles are still screaming at me this morning and my spine is vibrating today, but I slept.  I actually slept. 

 

I had to share this news because it is huge for me. I may be feeling physically miserable but I am ecstatic this morning. 

 

Hugs to all. 

 

That is so great sunshine!!!! I'm super happy for you!!

[Guest [fl...]]

I just wanted to check in with you guys and say hi. I have had a really hard two weeks after a nice 3 day break. They weren't full windows, but much better and I was able to play games with my kids, clean, make breakfast - it was nice. Then a wave came and got worse and worse. I was vomiting in the mornings, jelly legs and shaking, horrid anxiety. It was almost unbearable.

 

I'm coming out of it now I think, but shaken by it. As my anxiety decreases, I feel like a zombie. It's really odd. But I'll take it. I'll take zombie over anxiety any day of the week!

 

sunshine75, congrats on your sleep! That is amazing! The most I've made it to without waking is 6 hours, and it was lovely! I'm back at 4-5, but it's still good too. I hope your pain lifts soon.

 

Warrior2021 I hope you are hanging in there. Better times are coming.

 

Bess55 - I hope that your wave is lessening for you?

 

trendy - good you get sleep - that is so healing!

 

EnzoIt - hi! We haven't talked yet, but glad to see you are tapering and doing it right! I wish I did that! Sigh...my poor brain.

 

JBen - are you about ready to write your success story? It sounds like you are doing amazing!

 

I'm sorry if I missed someone. Hugs to you all! 

[[Be...]]

Shorties,

 

I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT!  This is freaking amazing.  No broken sleep at all and 7 WHOLE hours. 7!!! Granted, my back muscles are still screaming at me this morning and my spine is vibrating today, but I slept.  I actually slept. 

 

I had to share this news because it is huge for me. I may be feeling physically miserable but I am ecstatic this morning. 

 

Hugs to all. 

 

Yipeeeee this is awesome - so happy for you )

[[Be...]]

I just wanted to check in with you guys and say hi. I have had a really hard two weeks after a nice 3 day break. They weren't full windows, but much better and I was able to play games with my kids, clean, make breakfast - it was nice. Then a wave came and got worse and worse. I was vomiting in the mornings, jelly legs and shaking, horrid anxiety. It was almost unbearable.

 

I'm coming out of it now I think, but shaken by it. As my anxiety decreases, I feel like a zombie. It's really odd. But I'll take it. I'll take zombie over anxiety any day of the week!

 

sunshine75, congrats on your sleep! That is amazing! The most I've made it to without waking is 6 hours, and it was lovely! I'm back at 4-5, but it's still good too. I hope your pain lifts soon.

 

Warrior2021 I hope you are hanging in there. Better times are coming.

 

Bess55 - I hope that your wave is lessening for you?

 

trendy - good you get sleep - that is so healing!

 

EnzoIt - hi! We haven't talked yet, but glad to see you are tapering and doing it right! I wish I did that! Sigh...my poor brain.

 

JBen - are you about ready to write your success story? It sounds like you are doing amazing!

 

I'm sorry if I missed someone. Hugs to you all! 

 

Hi,

 

Thanks so much - I had my first 24 hour window - yipeeeee. I went to bed Wednesday night & felt normal-ish - still some symptoms but nothing like what it’s been. Woke up Thursday & had all day of feeling normal-ish & then this morning I woke up & whimsy I felt dizzy at night I wasn’t as bad anxiety wise.  So yipeeeee! I’m hoping I’m at the tail end of all of this,  16 months sobs jumping is a long enough sentence I say. 

 

How are you doing? I hope your day has been ok.  )

[[Be...]]

Just wanted to say hi to you guys. Still in a wave - my longest yet (2 weeks). Praying for a break soon. In month 9 and really thought things might get easier mentally. Physically fine. Hugs.

 

Hold on tight fluff! Month 9 was hell for me. Pure hell.  You are doing amazingly.  Keep going. Xx

[Guest [fl...]]

Bess that is amazing!!! Fingers crossed for you. I hope I’m coming out of this wave myself. I’d be happy if I could have half day windows even.

[[Be...]]

Bess that is amazing!!! Fingers crossed for you. I hope I’m coming out of this wave myself. I’d be happy if I could have half day windows even.

 

Thanks lovely! I’m hopeful. Cautiously so.  You will come out of this wave.  Month 9 was gruesome fir me but I survived - & so will you. You will thrive.  Xxx

[[En...]]

Hi fluffer I actually went cold turkey 18 days ago and since then I feel very bad even now that’s one week I’m taking 80% of my dose. I don’t have any improvement, I still feel very dizzy, confused and tired, the only thing that makes me feel better is lying down

[Guest [fl...]]

EnzoIt, I’m so sorry. If I had to do it over again, I’d try baclofen and / or pregabalin early on to reduce glutamate and minimize damage. Most just wait it out, but now miserable at 8 months, I wish I hadn’t. Just a thought. I was on Xanax too.

[[...]]

Just wanted to say hi to you guys. Still in a wave - my longest yet (2 weeks). Praying for a break soon. In month 9 and really thought things might get easier mentally. Physically fine. Hugs.

 

Gosh I am so sorry fluffer.  It is so weird how this works.  You have mental but not physical symptoms.  I have all physical and no mental symptoms.  Why is that I wonder!?

[[...]]

Shorties,

 

I SLEPT 7 HOURS STRAIGHT!  This is freaking amazing.  No broken sleep at all and 7 WHOLE hours. 7!!! Granted, my back muscles are still screaming at me this morning and my spine is vibrating today, but I slept.  I actually slept. 

 

I had to share this news because it is huge for me. I may be feeling physically miserable but I am ecstatic this morning. 

 

Hugs to all. 

 

Wow. This is great news!!

[[tr...]]

Hello everyone!

I see some of you are doing better and some still stuck. I want to send you all the strength you're missing and lift your spirits up

As for me, I'm not doing so great. Yesterday I got a racing heart for the first time ever since last January when I went to the ER. Knowing that it's only a result of my nervous system being all messed up I tried to ignore it and it did go away within a few minutes. It was a scary thing nonetheless I also get scared when I notice my body shaking internally like I am a flag being moved by the wind and I can't do anything to cope with that :// When I lay down on my bed I noticed my legs feel like water as if I had waves of energy going up and down along them (it almost feels like i'm on drugs still). Also my head feels like I have random sparks happening.

I still manage to get good sleep and I have cleaned my diet from all innecesary sugar and processed foods, so I consider that progress. What makes me upset is that my family is still unaware that this is a problem due to the pills and they always tell me to just make the shakes go away or to stop thinking about it (which is impossible as you all know). So all you guys are the only reassurance and hope I have left.

A part of me is still reluctant to accept that this is due to the xanax and I try to tell myself that I'm healthy, gosh I got my period this week so that's a sign my body is still rolling and functional.

 

I hope next week is better and I can manage to exercise a bit because I miss moving my body.

Lots of love <3

[[En...]]

I was thinking one thing, before going cold turkey i was taking my pill before sleeping and I was feeling very well, no WD symptoms at all. Is it possible that now taking it also during the day makes me feel lethargic and so tired? Should I go back to take it only at night like I used to do? Today I forced myself to go take a walk, I was feeling better but then as soon as I started to see cars moving my head started to spin and I felt so nauseous, is that something someone else have?

[[...]]

And here comes another wave.  Wow!  Intense. 

[Guest [fl...]]

EnzoIt, did you ever have interdose withdrawal taking it once a day? You might be a slow metabolized like me, in which case one dose at night might be just right for you. I only got interdose withdrawal because I was taking it twice a week. I’d say give it a try.

 

JBen, I’m so sorry about your wave. I’m finally emerging from my longest ever wave - over two weeks! But I am hoping I’m heading toward a better baseline. I hope your will go the same but instead of two weeks, much shorter!

 

Hugs shorties.

[[En...]]

No before when I was taking once a day I didn’t have any symptoms, but now when I take the night dose when I wake up in the morning I kinda feel interdose WD more? Or maybe it’s just the all process.. I’m now at the hospital because they’re going to check my vestibular system because they don’t believe my motion sickness feeling and my dizziness is due to Xanax WD but I don’t know.. the psychiatrist that visited me yesterday  even said below 1g a day it’s almost an homeopathic thing..

[[su...]]

No before when I was taking once a day I didn’t have any symptoms, but now when I take the night dose when I wake up in the morning I kinda feel interdose WD more? Or maybe it’s just the all process.. I’m now at the hospital because they’re going to check my vestibular system because they don’t believe my motion sickness feeling and my dizziness is due to Xanax WD but I don’t know.. the psychiatrist that visited me yesterday  even said below 1g a day it’s almost an homeopathic thing..

 

EnzoIt,

 

That sounds quite frustrating indeed and I am so sorry you are in the hospital with symptoms.  I know what this is like to go to the hospital and they can’t figure it out AND they don’t listen to you or are flippant about the benzo being the culprit.  If I were a betting woman, I’d put my house and entire savings on the line and say it’s benzo related—particularly if these symptoms didn’t show up until the benzo entered your life.   

 

I agree with fluffernutter that you may be now experiencing interdose withdrawal.  You went from taking Xanax to stopping it cold turkey and began experiencing withdrawal, that’s the first issue.  Then you went back on but ended up on a lower dose (another factor), then this dose was spread out throughout the day (yet another variable).  All of these things are likely contributing to how you are feeling.  There are options here and I would consult the planning your taper board along with the withdrawal thread as there are Buddies who can help figure things out for you if you want to change how you are dosing—or at least give some more insights. 

 

Also, to the psychiatrist who visited you, .25 mg Xanax is equivalent to 5 mg of Valium. Would hardly consider that homeopathic.  Sounds more like he/she is not benzo aware. 

 

Let us know how you are doing and if you want to change your approach.  Healing thoughts your way!

 

 

[Guest [fl...]]

This is very likely benzo injury, EnzoIt. A lot of people have the symptoms you talk about, and they go away with time. I’m sorry you have to go through this. These drugs are inhumane.

[[En...]]

Hi guys thanks for your answers. Fortunately my vestibular system is ok, now my doctor prescribed me a blood test to see if there is something wrong. She also prescribed me Dramamine to help me with nausea. One thing for sure off is my blood pressure, usually it’s good but lately has been very low and I think it’s what makes me feel dizzy, tired and nauseous. From today I’ll try to go back to take it only at nighttime like I used to when I was feeling good, oddly enough I took my last dose and not even the full one 18 hours ago and if anything today I feel better

[[su...]]

Shorties,

 

Just checking in as I've been loath to do so when things have been so up and down--I really don't know where I stand. `I think I am emerging from this wave?  I had that night of 7 hours straight (it was glorious) and then the next day had my second Covid vaccine.  My broken sleep unfortunately returned and I had a small uptick of some DR and brain stuff along with the pretty standard sore arm, headache, some muscle and joint pain (all vaccine related) that added to my already rollercoaster ride of back muscle issues.  I'm back to the new baseline now and fully vaccinated. 

 

The past two nights my sleep has come back with only maybe one wake but I go right back to sleep.  It's been around 7 hours again as well these past couple nights--which I am again absolutely THRILLED about.  I can tell that getting the longer stretches has improved my mood and ability to handle the physical stuff.  I've started walking again, but it feels like baby steps again.  I long to exercise like I was before because that felt like real progress to me. 

 

I can tell things are "loosening" up some, hence why I think I am finally really emerging from the hit of this new baseline.  Crossing my fingers.  Everything feels low grade now the past couple days, like my back/muscular stuff, the feeling of dyspnea, the cog fog/mild DR, the paresthesia and burning sensations.  It's here all the time now, but it feels in the background for the most part, sometimes coming forward enough to put me on edge, then easing back again where it's manageable or just a faint presence.  A couple symptoms have revisited again too, namely ear pressure with some sharp pains and an ache in my jaw along with some other "weird" pains or sensations that will pop in quick, but these don't bother me much.  Mentally I feel pretty solid, just the still trying to accept all this and feeling angry that I'm still in the marathon. 

 

Another very short-time user posted his 3 year milestone (RKO) and his story resonated so much.  Unfortunately he is not fully healed and his big hurdle is the exercise intolerance.  Boy did that hit home right now.  I know not to compare, but I empathize with his experience, particularly of being blindsided so quickly. 

 

Anyways, I hope you are all well, feeling comparatively better or seeing improvements, no matter how small.  I'm going to try and enjoy the moments I can and do my best to tamp down the benzo lies in my head and body.  That voice is the worst, you know the one. 

 

Sending on my love and hugs. 

[Guest [fl...]]

Hi shorties, I am having a crisis of my own. It's a weird one, and I just don't know who to turn to for advice.

 

I started Lyrica out of desperation. The mental symptoms were too much, and I couldn't function. It has helped me so much, but now I am terrified of another withdrawal and PAWs. I kept the dose as low as I could (12.5mg three times a day) and will try to stabilize over 2-4 weeks then do a microtaper. It's hard because the longer I'm on it, the more concerning, but the faster I taper, the more brain trauma.

 

I am so grateful, yet so scared. I just wanted my brain to heal on its own, but I wasn't getting anywhere. Now I am, but it feels like it's on a high interest loan.

 

If anyone has thoughts or knows someone I could ask, let me know!

 

I'm glad you are improving sunshine!

[[Be...]]

Hi shorties, I am having a crisis of my own. It's a weird one, and I just don't know who to turn to for advice.

 

I started Lyrica out of desperation. The mental symptoms were too much, and I couldn't function. It has helped me so much, but now I am terrified of another withdrawal and PAWs. I kept the dose as low as I could (12.5mg three times a day) and will try to stabilize over 2-4 weeks then do a microtaper. It's hard because the longer I'm on it, the more concerning, but the faster I taper, the more brain trauma.

 

I am so grateful, yet so scared. I just wanted my brain to heal on its own, but I wasn't getting anywhere. Now I am, but it feels like it's on a high interest loan.

 

If anyone has thoughts or knows someone I could ask, let me know!

 

I'm glad you are improving sunshine!

 

Fluff,

 

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice on this other to say go with your gut feeling. I’m sorry you are in this space. I understand the mental symptoms being too much.  & I understand the want to get of these wretched symptoms pronto. 

 

I hope you are being kind to yourself,  remember you are healing & you will heal & be 100% healed one day.  In the meantime just be kind to yourself .k know you are healing & will heal. It’s going to be ok. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other xxx