Long-Term Users group - w/d and recovery after longterm use

[[ca...]]

Just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf! WR, a Shaman would be great as i follow alot of Native American ways and we are also into Reiki here but a bit much for me right now as my Shakra`s need to be left alone ? Elle before i even started my taper i asked My Lady if She was game She said yes now i wonder Huggs ~CD

[[NY...]]

Just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf! WR, a Shaman would be great as i follow alot of Native American ways and we are also into Reiki here but a bit much for me right now as my Shakra`s need to be left alone ? Elle before i even started my taper i asked My Lady if She was game She said yes now i wonder Huggs ~CD

 

Ah. Reiki is great CD.  I may have issues with someone touching me now though. In beginning of taper I had massage and full blown panic attack came on during the session,lol.  Thankfully I was certified in reiki back in the day, level II, so something I can do on myself.

[[pr...]]

Prettydaisys: I so hear you about thinking of trying hallucinogens. I thought of doing magic mushrooms myself but I doubt it would help much. The thing about ayahuasca, it seems that with the right kind of a shaman you can really cleanse your brain. I was fascinated about it when I spoke to an Argentinean guy who had a big benzo problem-he was hooked on Kpin for years and also taking lots of different antidepressants; it got so bad that it was actually his doc in Buenos Aires who recommended ayahuasca. So the guy went to the Peruvian Amazon,found hinself a shaman,and voila-benzos or any other drugs no more.He's been clean for 2 years when I talked to him. He said he got to a little jungle retreat and he spoke to the shaman about what exactly he hoped to achieve, and had to fast for 4 days,and then when the ayahuasca ceremony began it was horrible at first-the shaman 'took him' on a journey deep down and he said he was 'throwing up ugliest spiders and snakes and worms' for what felt like a whole day-I mean he physically felt he ws throwing up and saw what it was-he was battling pumas and mountain lions with his bare hands the next; on the third day there was nothing more to be violently sick about or fight and he just 'sort of floated to the surface', and then on the last day he saw clear blue skies and watched ripples on the water and walked among strong ancient trees and so on,and then when he finally woke up he was healed.Never touched benzos or any other drugs since, found his future wife, resumed working as a chef and now lives happily in Patagonia.I've heard quite a few stories like that.

 

 

can do,

 

sorry you lost your post, i hate that so much.

 

i follow a lot of Native American ways too. i would love to find a good shaman to work with at some point. i would love to try the ayahuasca st some point. i feel those sleep paralysis/out of body experience are akin to throwing up violently and being sick as far as releasing stuff within my mind that is terror filled. i sometimes come across extremely terrifying situations and beings/halluciantions that i have to deal with. i hope i am not the only one having these experiences. i think it's from the injury to my brain and the withdrawal although i always was able to have out of body experience even when i was younger.

 

but these are a bit different because i don't feel myself lifting out of my body -- i am just in the hypnagogic state and these beings appear. i like it much better when i can lift out of my body and take flight.

[[El...]]

Exactly,it's terrifying because you have no control over it. I feel like I am being haunted or something. Never ever had that before.

And I think you're quite right, throwing up spiders and snakes is probably a way of release. That's what makes me rather convinced ayahuasca would work. I also remember the shaman telling me why we'd have to go to somewhere deep in the jungle: according to him there are lots of negative energy, or 'bad spirits' in cities and crowded places, so when you go into the ayahuasca trance those 'bad spirits' will have easy access and screw the whole thing up. In some remote and rarely visited place, he'd still have to do a 'cleansing' to make sure 'bad spirits' won't mess with me while I'm in a vulnerable state but there would be much less of them.

 

Now as I said I'm not very spiritual and I'm not sure I believe in 'bad spirits' but when they are translated as 'negative energy' it kind of makes sense.

[[ca...]]

Just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf! WR, a Shaman would be great as i follow alot of Native American ways and we are also into Reiki here but a bit much for me right now as my Shakra`s need to be left alone ? Elle before i even started my taper i asked My Lady if She was game She said yes now i wonder Huggs ~CD

 

Ah. Reiki is great CD.  I may have issues with someone touching me now though. In beginning of taper I had massage and full blown panic attack came on during the session,lol.  Thankfully I was certified in reiki back in the day, level II, so something I can do on myself.

WR, I kinda backed off the Reiki for a couple of yera as it got a bit much and i it is very powerfull i am a 2  my Lady is a Reiki Mater and could pass the Master title to me but for now i am just staying with the Lakota spirituality as in Reiki when giving it you can pick up bad enery the last thing i need right now. We are pretty serious in our Reiki we have old Singing Bowls From the Napal area for every Shakra i even built a room for our Reiki here we never go in the room exept for Reiki! If any of you ever need and input on Shaman`s ask me have been with a few Native Americans and have done some out of body things in the form of meditation can be great or totally mess you up.Not sure if anyone here Smudges with Sage but something i found a few years ago from a Native    American Shaman was when using Sage to clear the bad energy after your done you need to also  Smudge with Sweet Grass after your done to seal the bad energy out. Ok enough for now getting to deep here Huggs ~CD

[[NY...]]

Just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf! WR, a Shaman would be great as i follow alot of Native American ways and we are also into Reiki here but a bit much for me right now as my Shakra`s need to be left alone ? Elle before i even started my taper i asked My Lady if She was game She said yes now i wonder Huggs ~CD

 

Ah. Reiki is great CD.  I may have issues with someone touching me now though. In beginning of taper I had massage and full blown panic attack came on during the session,lol.  Thankfully I was certified in reiki back in the day, level II, so something I can do on myself.

WR, I kinda backed off the Reiki for a couple of yera as it got a bit much and i it is very powerfull i am a 2  my Lady is a Reiki Mater and could pass the Master title to me but for now i am just staying with the Lakota spirituality as in Reiki when giving it you can pick up bad enery the last thing i need right now. We are pretty serious in our Reiki we have old Singing Bowls From the Napal area for every Shakra i even built a room for our Reiki here we never go in the room exept for Reiki! If any of you ever need and input on Shaman`s ask me have been with a few Native Americans and have done some out of body things in the form of meditation can be great or totally mess you up.Not sure if anyone here Smudges with Sage but something i found a few years ago from a Native    American Shaman was when using Sage to clear the bad energy after your done you need to also  Smudge with Sweet Grass after your done to seal the bad energy out. Ok enough for now getting to deep here Huggs ~CD

 

Neat CD, I traveled to another thread and found out interesting things about you I didn't know we had in common, like a secret from the klub, lol.   

 

A friend wanted to do shakra work on me during taper, in the beginning when everything was intense, and I ran for hills screaming  .  After I will deep cleanse body and soul, but do think this taper is doing that on some level, a spiritual and bio level.  I feel cleansing happening in body and mind, because i do feel clearer, healthier, softer in spirit, and stronger in will.

[[NY...]]

Just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf! WR, a Shaman would be great as i follow alot of Native American ways and we are also into Reiki here but a bit much for me right now as my Shakra`s need to be left alone ? Elle before i even started my taper i asked My Lady if She was game She said yes now i wonder Huggs ~CD

 

Ah. Reiki is great CD.  I may have issues with someone touching me now though. In beginning of taper I had massage and full blown panic attack came on during the session,lol.  Thankfully I was certified in reiki back in the day, level II, so something I can do on myself.

WR, I kinda backed off the Reiki for a couple of yera as it got a bit much and i it is very powerfull i am a 2  my Lady is a Reiki Mater and could pass the Master title to me but for now i am just staying with the Lakota spirituality as in Reiki when giving it you can pick up bad enery the last thing i need right now. We are pretty serious in our Reiki we have old Singing Bowls From the Napal area for every Shakra i even built a room for our Reiki here we never go in the room exept for Reiki! If any of you ever need and input on Shaman`s ask me have been with a few Native Americans and have done some out of body things in the form of meditation can be great or totally mess you up.Not sure if anyone here Smudges with Sage but something i found a few years ago from a Native    American Shaman was when using Sage to clear the bad energy after your done you need to also  Smudge with Sweet Grass after your done to seal the bad energy out. Ok enough for now getting to deep here Huggs ~CD

 

Are you saying Lakota tradition feels anyone performing reiki can pick up bad energy, or just Master?  My Master told me that bc it was " universal life force" energy, there was no danger of transference.  Keep in mind she was also my boss at the time, the director of a syringe exchange program, so we were getting trained to perform reiki on clients who were very ill or had great suffering..drug use, homelessness, HIV, survival sex, trauma, so much.  Oh and yes lots of Xanax!  I remember that being the "addendum" drug of choice for many, and the desperation they felt when their supplies ran put, bc buying off the street, but I can't even fathom their degree of suffering, as most on high doses, scrambling to find money by hustling, sleeping under fruit stands, having seizures.  This is much too sad to think of as I start my day.  But the tears just showed me something.. I either feel heavy heart from being compassionate or I have some  transferred trauma from working with people in such severe emotional and physical and psychic pain for the past seventeen years.  When i was younger I got so entrenched I tried to sabotage my own life by literally taking on the rituals, and almost got swept up, but that was long ago.  Oh I digress here, sorry.  Good morning!  Hugs.

[[ca...]]

WR, When doing Reiki on a person one must wash there hands and such as you receive the bad you took from them! I just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf. You do know Native American Shamans do not seek the healing like in Reiki for the Native Shamans it was something the were givin and never asked to have it it was almost a curse but it was to be their path in life ! The Lakota had many powerful Shaman who have seen many visions come true i have spent times with a couple and must say it was a trip they put me in trances and some were not pleasant but told me what i saw and they were 100% right on So ya found some dirt on me from some where ut oh lol. Yes my spirituality is coming back and wrote about it but the thread vanished humm? So i can feel alot of energy writing this morning so i better go get myself grounded as we need to stay grounded so very important ~Namaste ~CD

[[no...]]

WR, When doing Reiki on a person one must wash there hands and such as you receive the bad you took from them! I just wrote a long post and it vanished wtf. You do know Native American Shamans do not seek the healing like in Reiki for the Native Shamans it was something the were givin and never asked to have it it was almost a curse but it was to be their path in life ! The Lakota had many powerful Shaman who have seen many visions come true i have spent times with a couple and must say it was a trip they put me in trances and some were not pleasant but told me what i saw and they were 100% right on So ya found some dirt on me from some where ut oh lol. Yes my spirituality is coming back and wrote about it but the thread vanished humm? So i can feel alot of energy writing this morning so i better go get myself grounded as we need to stay grounded so very important ~Namaste ~CD

 

This is also done with many forms of healing I used to do healing before I became Benzo sick,  I won't go into it but I never actually touched the person just held my hands above them and swept around them until I cold factually feel where and what the problem was even if they told me it was somewhere or something else. But what people call 'Faith healers'' which is funny as people with no faith get healed by healers, that do the laying on of hands also wash them after.

 

''Sacred herbs ''per the discussion about them on this thread

 

Before I knew it was definitely Benzos the cause of the myriad of symptoms I have due to the hell pain I thought after year's of being poly drugged and opiated out of my brains on opiate pain killers for the pain the Benzos were the cause of. I thought I had Opioid induced hyperalgesia.... http://bja.oxfordjournals.org/content/104/2/125.long.

 

But is actually a form of Allodynia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allodynia caused by the Benzo CT off 30 2mg Ativan a day, CT off 20 to 40mg a night Temazepam, 10year's of Tolorence WD and fooking kindling I've been been through but as far  I'm concerned its ALL withdrawal no matter what category people try to place it in . ANYWAY.......

 

When I thought it was Hyperalgesia, I was desperate as I am now to make this hell go away after suffering it day and night for over 10 year's. I knew I had to get off the drugs and so got off all the opiates first then a gang of other drugs as I was poly drugged by every drug family you can think of and their bloody neighbors!!

 

So I went looking for  'Natural'' relief or cure and herbs where my first preference, and after much research on all the herbs already mentioned on this thread I decided on the one no one has yet mentioned. Ibogaine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibogaine It had had great success in curing Opiate addicts, and although I wasn't 'addicted'' what I had read about this herb seemed like the answer to my prayers regarding the hyperalgesia  so although illegal here I paid a few hundred pounds bought some grown in Africa from a trusted source.

 

BUT....like ALL the herbs mentioned on here it had also killed more than enough people too, so it sat in my bedroom drawer and ll my instincts/inner voice said 'Don't do it!!  I then felt there was something else herbal that wouldn't kill me then found Kratom which is legal here and had also saved opiate addicts without killing everyone. That helped..........it helped to make me a freaking Kratom addict!!!!!!!!!! :tickedoff: Man it was EVIL!!! First of all I thought I found Shangrila,https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shangri-La what I had found was Tartarus!!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartarus

 

 

I am also part Rain forest Indian plus the so called 'Mystical races' and my brother does 'Shamanic healing'' but is not going around calling his self  'A Shaman' But he believes I am but I do NOT, its all just a 'Generalization'' like calling a bloke that makes things from wood a Carpenter. He might just be a bloke that likes to make things fro wood. Other wise Pinocchio's ''father' was a Carpenter NOT a toy maker!!

 

And now I know what I know about the 'human brain, the gut brain and more Human biology than I really need to know and am probably a ''Neurologist'' with out a degree paper, an MD, ND,PHD, CD, VD :laugh: I would NOT touch any of it period while going through benzo WD, I don't believe it has any value in helping recovery AT ALL, and may kill you before it cures you. 

 

I can't even use fresh Rosemary now and I love that because it effects certain receptors plus other 'cupboard herbs'' . The only plant on the earth'' that is  helpful to us all now is to ''Plant'' your bare feat on the ground and earth yourself you can sit down and do this.  We're meant  be bare foot as well as bare naked to  remove negative off us and recharge our selves from the earths/ Universal energy source  So its bare foot and bare w3ith it as long as it takes to heal there is no other way, our bodies will heal in their time not ours as long as we don't put more trouble in their way by ingesting things that aren't in good whole some food , I also won't take supplements as there's crap in them that doesn't have to be declared by law and MSG is only one of the thousands  :D

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[ca...]]

Thought i would share this - i just read an article that people who are more spiritual tend to suffer more anxiety associated problems compared to stuffed shirt typed people . It does make alot of sense being we are more in tuned with our inner feelings and pick up on others feelings and Lord knows this word is full of negativity and evil so we are more likely to pick it up and get bad vibes i wish i had know this years ago that a damn Doctor was not the answer so i guess the pills we were taking was just a way of dulling the negativity we were picking up? Can not copy and paste the article  but i guess we went about things the wrong way the answer to a lot of what got us seeking help was not us but what we                  unknowing had picked up from the outside !Makes alot of sense to me errr! ~ CD

[[El...]]

Interesting take Nova!I'd love to feel the grass under my bare feet. Unfortunately that requires a looong drive out of town before I get out of this cement jungle...

Wonder what's in our food actually.If even supplements have all sorts of crap in them, then what about food?.. As much as I'd live to go 100% organic it's simply not possible right now.

 

Can do, it does make a lot of sense. And to think that instead of trying to break free we all at some point just fell under the spell of some silly poison pills!

[[Ma...]]

Thanks guys.Your support means the world to me!!

 

Maya: yeah I find it extremely difficult not to look back and get furious.I do try-what's done is done-but I get really mad sometines,who in their right mind would prescribe this poison to a teenager??What makes me even more angry is that this evil drug is STILL being prescribed so lightly.It's disgusting.I honestly can't comprehend it.

 

As for boyfriend issues,I'm really at a loss here. Did your bf read upon the subject, or did you tell him yourself? I really love my bf dearly but I don't know how to explain all this to him. He did some reading but I'm not sure it's enough. Wish there was some sort of a manual for the significant others-what to expect and how to deal with your so going through benzo withdrawal hell?.. I love Marc so much but I'm not sure how all this is going to go if I continue to be a vegetable for a long time.I mean he comes from a very lovely family with no mental health issues whatsoever, whereas my dad's schizophrenic and my mum is long lost in the benzo haze,and I myself have been in and out of psych wards in the past and seen family and friends succumb to mental illnesses.So I'm just not sure I'm not scaring the *beep* out of Marc,him being used to complete 'normalcy'?..

 

Prettydaisys: I so hear you about thinking of trying hallucinogens. I thought of doing magic mushrooms myself but I doubt it would help much. The thing about ayahuasca, it seems that with the right kind of a shaman you can really cleanse your brain. I was fascinated about it when I spoke to an Argentinean guy who had a big benzo problem-he was hooked on Kpin for years and also taking lots of different antidepressants; it got so bad that it was actually his doc in Buenos Aires who recommended ayahuasca. So the guy went to the Peruvian Amazon,found hinself a shaman,and voila-benzos or any other drugs no more.He's been clean for 2 years when I talked to him. He said he got to a little jungle retreat and he spoke to the shaman about what exactly he hoped to achieve, and had to fast for 4 days,and then when the ayahuasca ceremony began it was horrible at first-the shaman 'took him' on a journey deep down and he said he was 'throwing up ugliest spiders and snakes and worms' for what felt like a whole day-I mean he physically felt he ws throwing up and saw what it was-he was battling pumas and mountain lions with his bare hands the next; on the third day there was nothing more to be violently sick about or fight and he just 'sort of floated to the surface', and then on the last day he saw clear blue skies and watched ripples on the water and walked among strong ancient trees and so on,and then when he finally woke up he was healed.Never touched benzos or any other drugs since, found his future wife, resumed working as a chef and now lives happily in Patagonia.I've heard quite a few stories like that.

 

While I understand that ayahuasca is simply a strong psychedelic/hallucinogen, I'm guessing there is something to the shaman- and how he prepares you-you fast,you're only allowed to drink certain juices that the shaman makes there and then,and then when you actually drink ayahuasca the shaman is always there to 'take you on the journey'. Add being in the heart of the Amazon, drums and prayers and dancing...I guess all that has an effect. Plus as ayahuasca and san pedro are perfectly legal over there,there's no telling how strong it really is as the shaman always prepares the drink himself so it can be as potent as he prefers.

 

Anywho,just trying to understand why so many alcohol and drug addicts claim to be healed after participating in an ayahuasca ceremony?..

 

I actually found a shaman who I thought was awesome when I was in Peru...and then I bailed the last minute.Idiot!!!

 

I'm seriously considering going to the Amazon again if my withdrawal symptoms get unbearable. Then again,it's a sneaky game-you think you can't take any more,and then you get more and you still push on...because the alternative is a lifelong sentence.

 

We humans are curious creatures,eh??

 

Taunting beings/hallucinations:I so hear you. Reality is totally distorted these days; I remember it took me about 40 minutes to go to the bathroom because when I was about to open the door I noticed the doorknob looked funny so I froze and was staring at it for what I thought was 5 minutes. And beings-it's weird because they are usually myself,only in grotesque shapes and forms and bared teeth. I keep hoping they are dreams but I know they aren't because I don't think I sleep much.

 

Sorry for such a long post.It just feels SO good to talk to people who actually understand!!

 

It is hard, but I try not to. t doesn't change anything and it just makes you feel worse. I try to focus on that I am moving forward and getting off the poison. It is crazy that someone would prescribe that to anyone, especially teenagers. I can't comprehend how it is prescribe so lightly still. It has gotten a little better. My therapist told me in the last 6 months she has a lot more people coming to her who are getting off them.

 

My boyfriend I don't believe has done any research. That I don't think is a good idea. That would be very upsetting to him. There is some scary stuff. I told him about it myself. We have talked a lot about it. He understands this will really help me. Also occasionally we go to a psychologist who is a friend of the family. He helps him understand. I have a book called Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa Frederick. The book was written by a counselor in the UK who went through klonopin withdrawal. The book is scary because she had protracted withdrawal. There is a section in the book for loved ones. I am sure you can find something like that.

 

My boyfriend also lived a very "normal life". He doesn't experience anxiety etc. He will never fully understand. He does to the best of his ability. He knows what he is in for. He supports me in this. We have been together almost 9 years. We have been through a lot. I am not sure what your situation with your bf is like. I would just talk to him about it and tell him your concerns. Maybe you should go see a therapist together. I wish the best of luck and I hope it works out! It is challenging being in a relationship while dealing with all this.

 

I actually found out my father has done ayahuasca several times with a shaman. My stepmother has done it once. They both describe it has healing and spiritual. I personally am too afraid to do any hallucinogenic again. When I was a teenager I had a bad experience. It sounds very powerful and amazing. I think I will always be too scared. My father saw himself as a little boy and he found answers to questions he had about life. I know that they did it in Ecuador. I am not sure where else my father has done it. He travels all over the world for work.

 

 

[[Ma...]]

WR and CD,

I have done reiki before and found it healing. My father somewhat knows how to practice reiki. I have never let him to it on me before. I love finding out all these interesting things about both of you! I am actually looking into a detox diet for stress and anxiety. My therapist told me about it she was shocked by how many people it's helped. The woman hypnotizes you which scares me. There is also a long wait to see her. I am a spiritual person and I actually went to Cuba had did some things others might find crazy, but I found healing. I took special sacred herbs among other things.

 

I am sorry if I missed some things from the posts. I am kinda tired and I have cog fog.

 

Pretty,

I hope you are doing better!

 

XO Maya

 

 

[[ca...]]

WR and CD,

I have done reiki before and found it healing. My father somewhat knows how to practice reiki. I have never let him to it on me before. I love finding out all these interesting things about both of you! I am actually looking into a detox diet for stress and anxiety. My therapist told me about it she was shocked by how many people it's helped. The woman hypnotizes you which scares me. There is also a long wait to see her. I am a spiritual person and I actually went to Cuba had did some things others might find crazy, but I found healing. I took special sacred herbs among other things.

 

I am sorry if I missed some things from the posts. I am kinda tired and I have cog fog.

 

Pretty,

I hope you are doing better!

 

XO Maya

Maya, humm you saying we are interesting a good way or  :crazy:only teasing well i am off to go get needles in my mouth and smell teeth getting drilled  Keep me in your thoughts  Huggs ~ CD

[[NY...]]

WR and CD,

I have done reiki before and found it healing. My father somewhat knows how to practice reiki. I have never let him to it on me before. I love finding out all these interesting things about both of you! I am actually looking into a detox diet for stress and anxiety. My therapist told me about it she was shocked by how many people it's helped. The woman hypnotizes you which scares me. There is also a long wait to see her. I am a spiritual person and I actually went to Cuba had did some things others might find crazy, but I found healing. I took special sacred herbs among other things.

 

I am sorry if I missed some things from the posts. I am kinda tired and I have cog fog.

 

Pretty,

I hope you are doing better!

 

XO Maya

Maya, humm you saying we are interesting a good way or  :crazy:only teasing well i am off to go get needles in my mouth and smell teeth getting drilled  Keep me in your thoughts  Huggs ~ CD

 

Thinking of you, CD.  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

[[ca...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

[[Ma...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

[[pr...]]

i just read an article that people who are more spiritual tend to suffer more anxiety associated problems compared to stuffed shirt typed people.

 

i think those stuffed shirt type people are majorly blocked up and shut down so kudo's for them for that.    i'd rather be spiritual, open and easy to wound. 

 

i came across this website -- a very interesitng lady named Jennifer Sherpard from someone else on this forum and i actually bought her book. she has interesting things to say about a lot of stuff and yoga and reiki. i don't really know how i feel about it yet. it's hard to view these things as energetically bad for us. but here is something she did say about reiki, keeping in mind that we must always check these things out for ourselves and if it works for us, than great: but here it is:

 

 

the entire lineage of what the founder of Reiki origianlly put in place has been hijacked and distorted beyond belief. so with Reiki you're still invoking those negative albino/Nordics and their main pals, the negative "grays" and the negative reptilians. Most Reiki practitioners have had their psychic sight taken out so they're psychically blind and can't see what's going on. Stick to love, or the color of electric violet, or creation energy. this is much safer. think like a mother who is lovingly touching her child in a tender way; that's the real way to engage in any type of healing touch. there's no need to invoke anything except healing kindness. work simply with this basic, primordial intent to heal and spread love, and bypass any intermediary. avoid the "middle men" (deceptive entities) who lurk in the lower astral planes. it's a lot safer.

 

anyway, like i said, even i don't really know how i feel about all of this yet? she talks about yoga invoking the same entities but i love doing yoga. if anyone is interested reading more about what she has to say here is her website, it's pretty interesting and i did like her book.

 

http://www.lipstickmystic.com/category/news/

[[ca...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

Maya, yes why take chnces get the shot without EPI all Dentists use them regularly it is just a smart idea and numbs you out just as well and dang it my face is pretty sore today to much trauma in the last couple of weeks with all my Dental visits so be well and after the Dentist go get them Shoes  I got lots to get done today some work on the truck some wood to cutt then cutt pills  I hate cutting pills ~ Huggs ~CD

[[no...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

Maya, yes why take chnces get the shot without EPI all Dentists use them regularly it is just a smart idea and numbs you out just as well and dang it my face is pretty sore today to much trauma in the last couple of weeks with all my Dental visits so be well and after the Dentist go get them Shoes  I got lots to get done today some work on the truck some wood to cutt then cutt pills  I hate cutting pills ~ Huggs ~CD

 

Its international ''Go to the Dentist week'' on here!!!    I'm off to see mine shortly to pick up a denture  where the benzos have played havoc with my once perfect teeth  I am fed up with it, excuse me but I am having a SUPER crap day today and have to walk there in pouring down rain. The weather doesn't usually bother me I go hiking in the rain but today is a bad day sxs wise psychologically and physically , hopefully things will turn around later fk chemical induce mood swings from hell ( Sticks to fingers up smilie which doesn't exist  ) catch up with you all later

 

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[ca...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

Maya, yes why take chnces get the shot without EPI all Dentists use them regularly it is just a smart idea and numbs you out just as well and dang it my face is pretty sore today to much trauma in the last couple of weeks with all my Dental visits so be well and after the Dentist go get them Shoes  I got lots to get done today some work on the truck some wood to cutt then cutt pills  I hate cutting pills ~ Huggs ~CD

 

Its international ''Go to the Dentist week'' on here!!!    I'm off to see mine shortly to pick up a denture  where the benzos have played havoc with my once perfect teeth  I am fed up with it, excuse me but I am having a SUPER crap day today and have to walk there in pouring down rain. The weather doesn't usually bother me I go hiking in the rain but today is a bad day sxs wise psychologically and physically , hopefully things will turn around later fk chemical induce mood swings from hell ( Sticks to fingers up smilie which doesn't exist  ) catch up with you all later

 

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, Dental health week  i went 3 time this week errr! I do believe benzo`s do mess up teeth but then again what do they not mess up right? Good luck at the Dentist and stay dry and feel better and @ WR, Ya never told me what ya found on me from another thread the suspense is killing me ~ Huggs ~CD

[[pr...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

Maya, yes why take chnces get the shot without EPI all Dentists use them regularly it is just a smart idea and numbs you out just as well and dang it my face is pretty sore today to much trauma in the last couple of weeks with all my Dental visits so be well and after the Dentist go get them Shoes  I got lots to get done today some work on the truck some wood to cutt then cutt pills  I hate cutting pills ~ Huggs ~CD

 

Its international ''Go to the Dentist week'' on here!!!    I'm off to see mine shortly to pick up a denture  where the benzos have played havoc with my once perfect teeth  I am fed up with it, excuse me but I am having a SUPER crap day today and have to walk there in pouring down rain. The weather doesn't usually bother me I go hiking in the rain but today is a bad day sxs wise psychologically and physically , hopefully things will turn around later fk chemical induce mood swings from hell ( Sticks to fingers up smilie which doesn't exist  ) catch up with you all later

 

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, Dental health week  i went 3 time this week errr! I do believe benzo`s do mess up teeth but then again what do they not mess up right? Good luck at the Dentist and stay dry and feel better and @ WR, Ya never told me what ya found on me from another thread the suspense is killing me ~ Huggs ~CD

 

 

yeah, they sure do. if anyone is interested in venting about tooth and jaw pain:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=125022.0

[[NY...]]

i just read an article that people who are more spiritual tend to suffer more anxiety associated problems compared to stuffed shirt typed people.

 

i think those stuffed shirt type people are majorly blocked up and shut down so kudo's for them for that.    i'd rather be spiritual, open and easy to wound. 

 

i came across this website -- a very interesitng lady named Jennifer Sherpard from someone else on this forum and i actually bought her book. she has interesting things to say about a lot of stuff and yoga and reiki. i don't really know how i feel about it yet. it's hard to view these things as energetically bad for us. but here is something she did say about reiki, keeping in mind that we must always check these things out for ourselves and if it works for us, than great: but here it is:

 

 

the entire lineage of what the founder of Reiki origianlly put in place has been hijacked and distorted beyond belief. so with Reiki you're still invoking those negative albino/Nordics and their main pals, the negative "grays" and the negative reptilians. Most Reiki practitioners have had their psychic sight taken out so they're psychically blind and can't see what's going on. Stick to love, or the color of electric violet, or creation energy. this is much safer. think like a mother who is lovingly touching her child in a tender way; that's the real way to engage in any type of healing touch. there's no need to invoke anything except healing kindness. work simply with this basic, primordial intent to heal and spread love, and bypass any intermediary. avoid the "middle men" (deceptive entities) who lurk in the lower astral planes. it's a lot safer.

 

anyway, like i said, even i don't really know how i feel about all of this yet? she talks about yoga invoking the same entities but i love doing yoga. if anyone is interested reading more about what she has to say here is her website, it's pretty interesting and i did like her book.

 

http://www.lipstickmystic.com/category/news/

 

Ha, I would rather be  'spiritual' and easy to wound as well!  One of my traits I cherish, and what drives me in life..feeling pain of others and not turning blind eye, not fearing it.  Why I am in my profession, why can tolerate pain like tolerance withdrawal, the impact of eliminating poison from my body, the belief that somehow this whole experience has a purpose for me, revealing itself little by little.  When I was in college I was in a city, from suburb, for first time.  I rode the city bus to and from school, work, etc. It was a car city, so people who took the bus were poor.  This is when I met my calling, as I typically would seat myself next to the person everyone avoided..the "crazy person, homeless, smelly, etc".  I felt bad they were left sitting alone, and we would talk.  Sometimes about real shit, sometimes nonsensically. I always left feeling touched by these interactions, and not because I had done a good deed, but because these folks talked, shared, if I opened my eyes and ears to them, so the conversations weren't mindless bullshit.  Then I worked at hippy store selling incense and buddhas and long flowing skirts in a funny part of the city.  We had homeless folks come in and we would let them cool off in the air conditioning, or warm up in winter, give them tea, listen to music with us, talk, share food.  When I left to NYC ready to start my career I thought " I want to work with those people on the bus, be with them everyday ".  And so I found out how to, and that is what I have done since 1998, and owe them a great deal....for helping me tolerate symptoms, for inspiring me to be brave and take this leap, to never give up, to look fear straight in the eye until it dissolves. 

 

And this story does tie into reiki.  I accepted the offer to be trained and practice, as an addendum to my full time role, not because I felt a strong pull to the history, like CD does.  I was told once you are certified, you will always be able to practice, etc.  I thought that was good, couldn't hurt, lol.  But I really did it for one of the reasons you describe.. I wanted to lay my hands on people who were never touched, who were  outcasts, who seemed untouchable.  Homeless men and women would enter the reiki room with socks they had on for weeks, and I would toss them, set aside a new pair.  Get out a basin of soap and water and wash their feet.  Then I would practice reiki, laying my hands on their body for an hour.  Head, eyes, arms, hands, feet, legs, abdomen.  I would sense places it felt especially calming to them and stay there, on their eyes, holding their feet, etc.  Then I'd give them clean docks and bring them to the clothing pantry to find new clothes, clean underwear and hygeine kits with toothbrush, razors, soap, etc.  They would go into the washroom and change, clean up, then back into the drop in area.  I saw they seemed calm, lighter, maybe smiling, emotions less intense.  I don't know how much reiki played a part or simply being treated as a human being, remembering how healing it was to be touched by another person with kind intent.

 

I love my work.  And yes that was tangential!  Feeling happy today, and feels good to remember these moments in my life.  Back then I had just started klonopin, was on .5 mg.  About one year later I walked into my psychs office, then at 1mg per day.  I was anxious about my trip to visit family, unusual, so some wd had already set in I suppose, bc was in a tizzy.  He said " well, what do you want me to do?", and I said "give me buckets of klonopin".  He wrote an Rx for 3mg, thirty day supply, which I took, and returned month after month and received same Rx.  Then slowely but surely, for the next dozen years, that Rx crept up to 7.  By the year after starting 3mg I was in my first major spell of depression, first introduced to one of many SSRIs, SNRIs, sleep aids counter  side effects, stimulats bc attention was poor (wd NOT ADD).  Then the snowball... I am sick, i have depression, GAD, ADD, Rx, Rx Rx.  I wanted to die.  It was the drugs, not me.  It never was.  I got klonopin presctibed due to a misdiagnosis..a panic attack from low blood sugar.  And here I am now, closing that chapter, feeling those good feelings again, like I did in the hippy store free of psych meds, or washing homeless men's feet and practicing reiki, before klonopin took its hold on my brain, my spirit, that I fought hard to keep in tact, but not knowing what I was up against.  It is good to know the enemy, and know the way out, how to defeat it!  The end. 

[[MT...]]

NYC, thank you for sharing your inspiring story. You've led a remarkable life. I agree that anxious folks often are more easily spiritual, not that it's an easy life. I've always felt a intense connection to God and to many other people. Part of what's been challenging during wd is having all of that become distant and muffled. It's starting to come back which gives me more hope. I'm thankful we have this place to connect and get and share courage.