Long-Term Users group - w/d and recovery after longterm use

[[NY...]]

NYC, thank you for sharing your inspiring story. You've led a remarkable life. I agree that anxious folks often are more easily spiritual, not that it's an easy life. I've always felt a intense connection to God and to many other people. Part of what's been challenging during wd is having all of that become distant and muffled. It's starting to come back which gives me more hope. I'm thankful we have this place to connect and get and share courage.

 

Hi MT,

 

Yeah, I would read of "the veil lifting", but it is wonderful to experience.  Many of those blunted emotions or memories that now surface.  It shows we are healing as we taper, in mind, body, AND spirit! 

 

WR

[[...]]

The stuffed shirt analogy..how interesting. Where did you read that the spiritual people tend to have more problems? I kind of put myself in the middle between stuffed shirt and spiritual, but honestly, how did the "authorities" on this subject find a way to judge someone as being highly spiritual or not at all spiritual? Hmmm?

[[El...]]

Zion,well said!I'm also curious about that:)

[[no...]]

The stuffed shirt analogy..how interesting. Where did you read that the spiritual people tend to have more problems? I kind of put myself in the middle between stuffed shirt and spiritual, but honestly, how did the "authorities" on this subject find a way to judge someone as being highly spiritual or not at all spiritual? Hmmm?

 

Zion,well said!I'm also curious about that:)

 

 

Yeah!!! who died an made them king??? Like the ''Spiritualist association'' and The SNU ''The Spiritualists'' National Union,'' their ALL full of crap!! You have to ''train'' with them to become a healer and have an expensive piece of paper from them that say''s you've past THEIR ''exam's' ' So who gave them the Cartel then? not God!!

Tell THAT to the hand that heals for real, or the true channels of the source of all  infinite existence. Its like that  book ''Children's Letters to God''  one of the kid's wrote ''Dear God, when did you know that you were God?'' When the SNU said so NOT!

 

All organized religions are cults as far as I'm concerned an I was forced to be Catholic until I was old enough to be a refuse to be a cult member any longer.  And I was made to stand outside the door during RE classes for declaring 'God is NOT an old man stood all day long on a cloud, God is a force greater than our self!!!  It baffled me as a young child as to why a being who is EVERYWHERE needed all these ''Gods houses'' that the Alpha and the Omega couldn't fit into and being everything there is and ever will be would never need buildings when its pure love?

 

And humans proclaiming that THEY are 'Gods representative' here om earth, so where is 'Gods collage'' where they Got the certificates from for that job then? Next to one of Gods houses? And which one of them is Gods neighbor? I ask myself  Also ''Angels''  I am with  Cameron day on that one, why would God need protection or help to keep heaven safe? ''Gods  own personal security firm'' I don't think so.

 

Why I am no longer  a Light worker by Cameron Day http://www.ascensionhelp.com/blog/2013/08/23/why-i-am-no-longer-a-light-worker/

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[NY...]]

CD,

Haha I meant in a good way! Wishing you lots of luck!

 

XO Maya 

WR, & Maya all is good i survived the Dentist was kinda boring getting a cavity filled after have my tooth pulled last time  ~CD PS : Maya, your turn tomorrow i am sure you will do fine 

Yay! better boring than painful! I'm not worried about it. It's just one cavity. Last time was two. The only thing is maybe I should ask for the novocaine without epi. Last time I wasn't have sxs like now. Also my bf can't take me. I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks!

Maya, yes why take chnces get the shot without EPI all Dentists use them regularly it is just a smart idea and numbs you out just as well and dang it my face is pretty sore today to much trauma in the last couple of weeks with all my Dental visits so be well and after the Dentist go get them Shoes  I got lots to get done today some work on the truck some wood to cutt then cutt pills  I hate cutting pills ~ Huggs ~CD

 

Its international ''Go to the Dentist week'' on here!!!    I'm off to see mine shortly to pick up a denture  where the benzos have played havoc with my once perfect teeth  I am fed up with it, excuse me but I am having a SUPER crap day today and have to walk there in pouring down rain. The weather doesn't usually bother me I go hiking in the rain but today is a bad day sxs wise psychologically and physically , hopefully things will turn around later fk chemical induce mood swings from hell ( Sticks to fingers up smilie which doesn't exist  ) catch up with you all later

 

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, Dental health week  i went 3 time this week errr! I do believe benzo`s do mess up teeth but then again what do they not mess up right? Good luck at the Dentist and stay dry and feel better and @ WR, Ya never told me what ya found on me from another thread the suspense is killing me ~ Huggs ~CD

 

LOL, CD.  No, was talking about this thread... you + Reiki + etc.  That I "know" you primarily from KK!  Hugs to you and teeth! 

 

 

[[NY...]]

The stuffed shirt analogy..how interesting. Where did you read that the spiritual people tend to have more problems? I kind of put myself in the middle between stuffed shirt and spiritual, but honestly, how did the "authorities" on this subject find a way to judge someone as being highly spiritual or not at all spiritual? Hmmm?

 

I don't think it was meant to be black/white -  "stuffed shit" or "spiritual" or anything really.  Spirituality takes on many definitions to many people, as does "stuffed shirt".  All shades of grey, AND all written in the middle of benzo withdrawal! 

 

EDITED: I think I missed something - did not know it was in reference to anything specific, like a study (?).  If so, then yes - that is a strange!

 

In either case, onward with my Saturday.  Hoping everyone is doing well, shirts tucked or naked on the beach! 

 

WR

 

[[no...]]

Hi everyone I hope your all doing as well as you possibly can under the circumstance I am having a bit of a time  with sxs going up and down changing, some worsening the same as most or all of us are worst luck, but it comes  with the territory. 

 

And even passing urine has an effect on my CNS  I won't go in to detail about my BM's,  but that as well as our CNS  perceiving normal movement as a painful attack of some kind  I have also just realized (DOH!!  ) that due to the fact I'm putting a 2mg in to liquid not 1mg like most people do that what I am perceiving to be 3ml taken out of 100mls is actually 6ml as its double 1mg. And a lot of people are using 200mls of liquid per 2mg pill or higher and I don't want to be rushing off 2mg in 100 day's when the plan was 1mg in 100 day's or longer if needed.

 

So for tomorrows dose I am thinking about  doubling the water up to 200mls to see if that helps at all, but from what I've read most people get worse during taper anyway until they hit the lower doses or get off completely but again others feel better with each cut.

 

 

And also each cut can feel or actually effect you totally different than the last one and of course there's the  'time lag'' of cuts taking 7 week's to be felt after the cut an no fall out from recent cuts. I was lucky enough after a bad start with titration to hit a point when I knew exactly when to cut, hold, continue as it was easier to discern even after being in tolerance WD for 10 year's plus CT, kindling whatever you want to call the WD, its all WD and its all SUCKEY!! And it maybe just the path my WD is going to take no matter what but its worth trying a  not too technical change to see if that helps at all, also I am thinking about taking the diazepam on an empty stomach. 

 

I used to take it before food before I began tapering and all the dose by 1pam in the day but spread it out when I decided to taper and also began taking it with food after a long time taking it with out, I have noticed that others also take the first dose when they wake up.

 

But I don't want to take too many changes and too many differences on board and end up in a worse mess and also my thinking is all over the place rapid turn over in thoughts mood swings from hell and emotionally bordering form feeling bereft to wanting to murder people that have hurt me. The anger, normalcy, the full spectrum, and I'm tired as well  I have constant urination during the day, all night long and toxic sleep when I do manage to drop off, 

 

 

Ah well, I think I'll go have a toxic nap as toxic or not I'm tired and I don't want to get afraid to rest because of the toxic bit as some people do, and I've had it for a long time now before I knew what it was and I wasn't just waking up with persistent anxiety and palpitations etc for no good reason or cause unknown.

 

 

Love to everyone Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[pr...]]

my thinking is all over the place rapid turn over in thoughts mood swings from hell and emotionally bordering form feeling bereft to wanting to murder people that have hurt me.

 

this is happening to me now. my perceptions are so skewed and i had the most traumatic day yesterday over computer issues and about a computer repair man that won't return my calls leaving my computer one big giant mess for me to clean up. i just didn't know how i was going to handle all those horrible strong emotions. i thought i was already drowned. had it out with the Universe all night and morning!

[[...]]

I don't think it was meant to be black/white -  "stuffed shit" or "spiritual" or anything really.  Spirituality takes on many definitions to many people, as does "stuffed shirt".  All shades of grey, AND all written in the middle of benzo withdrawal! 

 

EDITED: I think I missed something - did not know it was in reference to anything specific, like a study (?).  If so, then yes - that is a strange!

 

In either case, onward with my Saturday.  Hoping everyone is doing well, shirts tucked or naked on the beach! 

 

WR

 

I'd just like to know if "Stuffed Shit" was a typo or intentional? !!!! That's great...gave me quite a laugh (which I needed)  :)

 

 

[[NY...]]

I don't think it was meant to be black/white -  "stuffed shit" or "spiritual" or anything really.  Spirituality takes on many definitions to many people, as does "stuffed shirt".  All shades of grey, AND all written in the middle of benzo withdrawal! 

 

EDITED: I think I missed something - did not know it was in reference to anything specific, like a study (?).  If so, then yes - that is a strange!

 

In either case, onward with my Saturday.  Hoping everyone is doing well, shirts tucked or naked on the beach! 

 

WR

 

I'd just like to know if "Stuffed Shit" was a typo or intentional? !!!! That's great...gave me quite a laugh (which I needed)  :)

 

Lol, yes let's stick with stuffed shit.  Forgot my point now anyway 

[[ca...]]

Oh boy not mentioning spirituality any more to each their own ~ Peace and Out ~CD

[[no...]]

Hi everyone  after much umming an ahhhhring about what to do due to my sxs getting worse and more intense after holding my dose for the last 3 week's and not seeing any improvement As from yesterday I have now began cutting by 00.05 again to see if that makes any difference at all to how I am doing sxs wise and now dosing half an hour before food an two hours after food.

 

The reason I am now dosing at these times rather than with food as I was previously is because of information I read on an archived thread which I now can't find  by a BB member on here who is a  who is a pharmacologist that it was better to do so regarding absorption when tapering. I also come across information regarding that women metabolize Benzodiazepines and other drugs different to men.

 

Benzodiazepines are designed to dissolve in lipids to cross from the bloodstream into the brain. Because women have more body fat, the drugs can linger in their system longer, potentially causing toxicity and side effects at lower doses. 

 

Psychotropic Drugs Affect Men and Women Differently http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psychotropic-drugs-affect-men-and-women-differently/ I am also going to post this link as a stand alone thread on the Forum as people need to know this information

 

 

 

I knew that certain drugs but not which ones are RACE specific and more dangerous or not tolerated by certain races plus certain races are unable to metabolize certain drugs well People of Asian races are know to become toxic  to psychotropic-drugs at quarter of the dose of other races. All this 'Race specific' stuff is known to the Medical fraternity so why are we all being prescribed the same doses for whatever drugs without out ethnicity being taken in to consideration?  ANYWAY...excuse my Benzo brain induced about to go on a rant off point 

 

 

I am trying my dosing per my previous explanation to see if it brings about any positive change over time at all, but I'm also aware that at this point in a taper things do  tend to get more of a trial unless your one of those rare creatures whose sxs improve as they get lower.

 

I am at this time despite rapid turn over of some nasty sxs so far still functional which can change at any second, and pushing myself everyday to do anything and everything I can to aid my healing, like I read somewhere else  in a quote from some Benzo book by yet another victim who went through hell on the route to heaven. ''Are you really doing EVERYTHING you can to help yourself to heal'', and like another Buddie said in success' post, 'Its no good just laying down waiting withdrawal out if you're able to move an do something''.

 

I have been going from 'being able'' to ''just about able to get in to bed'' to 'FLOOR!!! as I can't cope with getting in in out of bed, and this can go on for day's week's months whatever. I also know that there are times I can't do FA  and its one thing pushing when it s just a case of not wanting to do whatever to the body just can't do/take it/opps!! that came with no warning!!!  

 

And as for chancing the amount of water to more I am also keeping it at 100mls rather than go up to 200mls for now as I'm cutting by 00.05 a day which  from my 2mg pill in water which works out the same as 00.1 from 1mg of a pill so thats my 'plan'' for now. Hope everyone is okay or at least managing to cope with whatever is thrown at them unexpectedly as its all unexpected until we feel it an don't want or need it 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

[[ca...]]

Hi everyone  after much umming an ahhhhring about what to do due to my sxs getting worse and more intense after holding my dose for the last 3 week's and not seeing any improvement As from yesterday I have now began cutting by 00.05 again to see if that makes any difference at all to how I am doing sxs wise and now dosing half an hour before food an two hours after food.

 

The reason I am now dosing at these times rather than with food as I was previously is because of information I read on an archived thread which I now can't find  by a BB member on here who is a  who is a pharmacologist that it was better to do so regarding absorption when tapering. I also come across information regarding that women metabolize Benzodiazepines and other drugs different to men.

 

Benzodiazepines are designed to dissolve in lipids to cross from the bloodstream into the brain. Because women have more body fat, the drugs can linger in their system longer, potentially causing toxicity and side effects at lower doses. 

 

Psychotropic Drugs Affect Men and Women Differently http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psychotropic-drugs-affect-men-and-women-differently/ I am also going to post this link as a stand alone thread on the Forum as people need to know this information

 

 

 

I knew that certain drugs but not which ones are RACE specific and more dangerous or not tolerated by certain races plus certain races are unable to metabolize certain drugs well People of Asian races are know to become toxic  to psychotropic-drugs at quarter of the dose of other races. All this 'Race specific' stuff is known to the Medical fraternity so why are we all being prescribed the same doses for whatever drugs without out ethnicity being taken in to consideration?  ANYWAY...excuse my Benzo brain induced about to go on a rant off point 

 

 

I am trying my dosing per my previous explanation to see if it brings about any positive change over time at all, but I'm also aware that at this point in a taper things do  tend to get more of a trial unless your one of those rare creatures whose sxs improve as they get lower.

 

I am at this time despite rapid turn over of some nasty sxs so far still functional which can change at any second, and pushing myself everyday to do anything and everything I can to aid my healing, like I read somewhere else  in a quote from some Benzo book by yet another victim who went through hell on the route to heaven. ''Are you really doing EVERYTHING you can to help yourself to heal'', and like another Buddie said in success' post, 'Its no good just laying down waiting withdrawal out if you're able to move an do something''.

 

I have been going from 'being able'' to ''just about able to get in to bed'' to 'FLOOR!!! as I can't cope with getting in in out of bed, and this can go on for day's week's months whatever. I also know that there are times I can't do FA  and its one thing pushing when it s just a case of not wanting to do whatever to the body just can't do/take it/opps!! that came with no warning!!!  

 

And as for chancing the amount of water to more I am also keeping it at 100mls rather than go up to 200mls for now as I'm cutting by 00.05 a day which  from my 2mg pill in water which works out the same as 00.1 from 1mg of a pill so thats my 'plan'' for now. Hope everyone is okay or at least managing to cope with whatever is thrown at them unexpectedly as its all unexpected until we feel it an don't want or need it 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, i do hope you find a way to continue to drop your dosage , as from my experiance sometimes holding myself has not helped so i just continue to cut slow!Again remember nothing is linear and am hoping you symptoms ease up ~CD

[[no...]]

Hi everyone  after much umming an ahhhhring about what to do due to my sxs getting worse and more intense after holding my dose for the last 3 week's and not seeing any improvement As from yesterday I have now began cutting by 00.05 again to see if that makes any difference at all to how I am doing sxs wise and now dosing half an hour before food an two hours after food.

 

The reason I am now dosing at these times rather than with food as I was previously is because of information I read on an archived thread which I now can't find  by a BB member on here who is a  who is a pharmacologist that it was better to do so regarding absorption when tapering. I also come across information regarding that women metabolize Benzodiazepines and other drugs different to men.

 

Benzodiazepines are designed to dissolve in lipids to cross from the bloodstream into the brain. Because women have more body fat, the drugs can linger in their system longer, potentially causing toxicity and side effects at lower doses. 

 

Psychotropic Drugs Affect Men and Women Differently http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psychotropic-drugs-affect-men-and-women-differently/ I am also going to post this link as a stand alone thread on the Forum as people need to know this information

 

 

 

I knew that certain drugs but not which ones are RACE specific and more dangerous or not tolerated by certain races plus certain races are unable to metabolize certain drugs well People of Asian races are know to become toxic  to psychotropic-drugs at quarter of the dose of other races. All this 'Race specific' stuff is known to the Medical fraternity so why are we all being prescribed the same doses for whatever drugs without out ethnicity being taken in to consideration?  ANYWAY...excuse my Benzo brain induced about to go on a rant off point 

 

 

I am trying my dosing per my previous explanation to see if it brings about any positive change over time at all, but I'm also aware that at this point in a taper things do  tend to get more of a trial unless your one of those rare creatures whose sxs improve as they get lower.

 

I am at this time despite rapid turn over of some nasty sxs so far still functional which can change at any second, and pushing myself everyday to do anything and everything I can to aid my healing, like I read somewhere else  in a quote from some Benzo book by yet another victim who went through hell on the route to heaven. ''Are you really doing EVERYTHING you can to help yourself to heal'', and like another Buddie said in success' post, 'Its no good just laying down waiting withdrawal out if you're able to move an do something''.

 

I have been going from 'being able'' to ''just about able to get in to bed'' to 'FLOOR!!! as I can't cope with getting in in out of bed, and this can go on for day's week's months whatever. I also know that there are times I can't do FA  and its one thing pushing when it s just a case of not wanting to do whatever to the body just can't do/take it/opps!! that came with no warning!!!  

 

And as for chancing the amount of water to more I am also keeping it at 100mls rather than go up to 200mls for now as I'm cutting by 00.05 a day which  from my 2mg pill in water which works out the same as 00.1 from 1mg of a pill so thats my 'plan'' for now. Hope everyone is okay or at least managing to cope with whatever is thrown at them unexpectedly as its all unexpected until we feel it an don't want or need it 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

Nova, i do hope you find a way to continue to drop your dosage , as from my experiance sometimes holding myself has not helped so i just continue to cut slow!Again remember nothing is linear and am hoping you symptoms ease up ~CD

 

Thanks CD  YEP!! Being '' Non linear'' is only useful if your a ''star Trek'' character'' I Want to be a 'Non linear'' human right now, with 'Linear'' withdrawal ending!!!! 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[MT...]]

I miss this support group. I find it helpful to hear from others who've taken benzos for a long time and are in this recovery process. It seems to take a very long time to recover. I'm seeing progress with some things but not much with sleep, fatigue and cog fog. How are others of you?

[[Ma...]]

I miss this support group. I find it helpful to hear from others who've taken benzos for a long time and are in this recovery process. It seems to take a very long time to recover. I'm seeing progress with some things but not much with sleep, fatigue and cog fog. How are others of you?

I also find it helpful to hear from others who took benzos for a long time. I should post here more often. I'm seeing progress with some things and also newer sxs. I believe I am healing. It will take me awhile to taper. I also took a high dose. I am hoping to do a slow micro taper and heal on the way down. You will continue to heal and get better!

 

XO Maya

[[MT...]]

I'm so glad you can see progress. Looking for even the smallest improvement helps us feel stronger for the fight to become completely healed. It takes a long time for folks like us but we'll get there.

[[Ma...]]

Thanks! We will get there!

[[MT...]]

How's everyone doing in the long-term group? I've been stuck at the same point for a while. Insomnia is the symptom that seems to drive my other symptoms like cog fog and paresthesias. I'll be so relieved when I can sleep more normally.

[[MT...]]

Wondering what other long-termers have to say and how your recovery is going. I kept thinking I'd be getting better some time soon but it didn't happen. I'll be at 11 months off tomorrow and from looking at my trajectory, not much improvement in this time, it's looking like I have a long way to go. Still, today wasn't as bad as some times recently, once I made it through the morning. Every night I go to bed thinking this could be the night I see real progress with my sleep. So I'm trying to be realistic but optimistic.

[[pr...]]

the beginning of this month November i had a 5 day partial window that made me very hopeful and now just back to same ole feeling bad again and neuropathy symptoms that bother me the most among a host of other symptoms. i am 39 months. maybe some more improvements are on their way to me soon again.

[[At...]]

Hello all!

Just introducing myself.

Another group that is perfect for me.

27 yrs taking 3 mgs Klonopin,  Started Aston c/o taper about 8 wks ago. so far, so good.

Rich

[[lo...]]

Hi folks

 

I haven't posted here for a while.  I am at 32 months now and still in bed mostly.  A few months ago I was managing to walk outside most days but that ability has gone again and I feel really quite ill.  However, my cognition has improved a lot recently. I am thinking that my brain isn't ready to cope with physical and cognitive functioning - it is too much.  So I am quite upset about how things are with me but I try to look at the positives.  Emotionally and psychologically fine, cognitively pretty good, physically rubbish.  Hopefully the physical side will improve too.

 

Good luck Atro.  Just take it easy with the taper.  I used Ashton as well and wonder if it was too fast after 40 years on the drugs.  Who knows?  I don't think anyone really knows.

 

Hugs

 

Fiona 

[[sn...]]

Hi all, was on benzos for 15 years, Ativan, Xanax, and finally Klonopin.  Took it daily most of those years.  Been off 8 months plus.  Feeling better most of the time.  Feel like I may possibly be turning a corner, but not sure yet because it's so up and down.  Anyway, hope everybody is feeling at least a little bit better today.

[[At...]]

Hi folks

 

I haven't posted here for a while.  I am at 32 months now and still in bed mostly.  A few months ago I was managing to walk outside most days but that ability has gone again and I feel really quite ill.  However, my cognition has improved a lot recently. I am thinking that my brain isn't ready to cope with physical and cognitive functioning - it is too much.  So I am quite upset about how things are with me but I try to look at the positives.  Emotionally and psychologically fine, cognitively pretty good, physically rubbish.  Hopefully the physical side will improve too.

 

Good luck Atro.  Just take it easy with the taper.  I used Ashton as well and wonder if it was too fast after 40 years on the drugs.  Who knows?  I don't think anyone really knows.

 

Hugs

 

Fiona 

 

 

Fiona,

 

Stories like yours really break my heart but make me want to kick this even more.

I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you sooner than later.

Right now I'm doing the full two weeks between dose changes.  So far-so good.  If I feel I need to hold another week at a certain dose, so be it. 

As I told my Psych that is working with me through this: "I am the driver"  I'm gonna do what it takes, just as I'm sure you are.

I wish you well!

 

Rich