Canadian Eh? Pre and post withdrawal support

[[ba...]]

Yikes, 'Chinwind,' that must have been awful losing your house; I guess you can really relate to those in Ft. McMurray. Having a whole city of 80,000 evacuated for the fire is pretty mind boggling, plus a further slow down in oil production affecting the Alta/national economy.

 

At least there still seems to be no loss of life, among evacuees or firefighters (last I heard), so that's one positive aspect to cling to. It's great to see fundraising i.e. feds matching Red Cross donations; at a grocery store today, I saw a sign indicating they were taking donations .

 

My 'other cuzin' (Chopper Dan, as opposed to Farmer Odin) has been sent from Ontario to Ft. McMurray, so good to know Alta. is getting more help. Rebuilding much of a fair sized city seems like a Herculean task, but lets hope the fire gets doused, and the 'Phoenix' effect can begin.

[[sa...]]

Ain't that the sad truth, Navita! I'm glad Canada has socialized medicine (waiting for dentistry on the same basis!), but it sure has it's pitfalls, grr.

 

And S'Moon, frustrating, but good for you for following things up; it's tough to do when you're feeling crummy, but if we don't have someone else to advocate for us, just got to keep on top of things as best we can (squeaky wheel gets the grease-an expression for Navita-the-Car-Guy!).

 

Hope things go better now that you've got your files/address sorted out, S'Moon.  Keep plugging away, and let us know how it goes .

 

Oh I missed your reply.  Thanks!  Unfortunately things didn't turn out well for me.  My GP said he talked to the psychiatrist and she refused to see me again.  She's going on maternity leave soon and would only see people if it's urgent.  She gave suggestions once and it should be good enough, never mind that I developed serotonin syndrome from her suggestion.  I wondered if there's anyone else I could talk to and my GP said nope, that would be abusing the health care system.  Now he insists that I go on another antidepressant and quit olanzapine, even though he just doubled my dose last month.  He was like "DO you trust me or not?"  I wimpered "Oh of course I trust you."  He assured me there won't be withdrawals from quitting olanzapine and I don't need to taper.  Yeah right.

 

When I walked out of his office I got knots in my stomach.  I suppose at least I got the refusal right away instead of waiting for weeks to hear back.  I miss my old doctor so much (who retired).

[[ba...]]

S'Moon, I hear you with the 'whimper' as you answered your less than empathetic and enlightened doc. I haven't been overly emotional lately, but sometimes I think whimpering and weeping :'( are my greatest talents since this whole benzo journey began. (Bonus on the weeping though, after reading on here that crying releases cortisol; dunno if it's true, but I'm buying it!)

 

I'm truly sorry that your GP is messing around with AD's etc. It's bad enough if you're just on one benzo, and want to taper; when you're being told you need to be on an AD and have another drug or two in the mix things get a bit confusing. And he has the nerve to ask you if you trust him ?! Excuse me, but WTF, sounds like a alpha doc power trip move!

 

Do you live in a city, preferably a larger one, or a rural area with some medical choices? I know in Ontario it's not as easy to change GP's as it once was; you have to sign on with a 'health provider,' but if things are not working out, I'm sure you can leave your doc. I've done so once, anyway. I guess it depends what province you live in, but nobody should have to stay with a 'bully doc'-which your guy sounds like, at least to some extent.

 

I know it's not easy to find a great doc; the one I have is okay, but I'd leave him in a jiff if he wasn't supporting me through my v taper (and the c/o before that). I do have to endure him figuratively rolling his eyes  , as he obviously thinks I NEED to have my anxiety et al. treated with drugs and/or should have been able to leap nimbly off v in a trice , but I humour him back HA! and am determined to prove him wrong. Or at least not entirely right !!

 

Have you printed off any good stuff on BB or elsewhere-articles with references and citations from credible med types work best on docs, surprise-and tried to educate your GP? I find it difficult to be assertive yet not aggressive i.e. try to guide him, flatter and all that, but it does seem to work fairly well. Whatever the case, do try not to be pushed into something you intuitively feel is not right .

 

Of course, it's always easier to 'quarterback' someone else's problems, but try to wrest back some control. After all, it is YOUR life. Do some strategizing, and have some rational, calm arguments regarding what you feel you REALLY feel you need, and want to do. Good luck with all that, and let us know what happens . Once again, it's not easy to find your way through the drug maze when you're not at your best, but the bottom line is if you're not 'in charge' of your life at least to some degree, then you'll end up a pawn.

 

That might be okay for a while, if you've got a benzo wise saint of a doc, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. Be strong, and all the best!!

 

p.s. excuse the extended rant of sorts; I'm soooo not an expert, but your recounting of your conversation with Mr. GP really struck a nerve, argh.

[[Lo...]]

Dear SapphireMoon, I am sorry that you are going through so much! May I ask what drug your doctor wants to add? I have been reading that for insomnia and sleep that Mirtrazapine at low dose works well as does Trazadone. Those could possibly get you off the Zopiclone AND improve your sleep making everything seem better.

 

You are on some serious drugs and so no one here can really advise - this is just info for you.

 

I too am wondering where you are in Ontario? A young friend of mine is on similar drugs to yours and has had a lot of support from the hospital in Hamilton. If you are near a large city then perhaps you can find an outpatient clinic at a hospital? CAMH in Toronto?

[[sa...]]

Thanks everyone!  I am looking for another doctor.  Already booked a meet and greet appointment.  I live in BC and we do have a few choices here.  Maybe I was just spoiled by my old doctors before.  My first doctor was an English lord.  He was competent, witty and could cheer anyone up.  I went through injury and depression and he was very helpful.  He visited me in hospital when I had a baby.  My next doctor didn't have the charm, but was very pleasant, too.  She was patient, caring and motherly.

 

Now as these older doctors retire we're mostly left with young doctors who give you 5 minutes' time to talk about one issue only.  Well I hope I can find a good one again.

[[al...]]

Haven't dropped in for a while, again; have been 'horsebusy,' which seems to have helped my taper. I'm quite low now (in terms of dose, although sometimes in terms of feelings ), and diving back into the equine world f/t seems to have helped. I do get stressed at times-ya think!?-but being totally exhausted physically does have it's advantages re: obsessively fretting...just no energy!

 

Anyhow, I was inspired to post right now 'cuz of an article I read in one of Canada, Eh's leading horse magazines this month (May issue of Horse Sport): "Keep Calm and Carry On." Especially in some riding disciplines where a really quiet-and athletic-horse is advantageous, 'drugging' beasts with a sort of calming agent is not new...

 

Hunter classes in jumping (unlike the 'jumper' kind) really require a horse and rider who are technically good, and make going over a course look easy and relaxed...and pleasing to the eye, compared to jumper types. Jumper riders do best if they have a solid earlier foundation in hunter/equitation, as all that makes for a competent person in the saddle, but in jumper rounds you can look a bit wild and not great and if you leave the rails up it's all good.

 

However, in hunter that effortless look of control and ease is paramount. There's been the odd scandal at big U.S. shows especially with pony hunters being 'doped' so their little riders can look good and the beastie behaves well...to the point where at least one pony dropped dead in the ring (I'm pretty sure) from being over medicated.

 

(Thoroughbreds who race are too often somehow 'doped,' although there is drug tests of winners and random horses I believe, but much of that is done during training so they race clean...and TB racehorses tend to be a bit 'hotter' and less calm than ponies or warmbloods or whatever who do hunter.)

 

But back to the hunter drugging issue...there have been some more 'natural' calming agents developed (sort of like 'health food store' products for humans), which seem to help some horses, and are more on the safe side. On the other hand, I was surprised to read BENZOS have also been used by some trainers...actual benzos, yikes! You can bet those poor horses aren't tapered, ick.

 

In light of such problems, a new tranq type drug? has been developed, called 'Zylkene.' I won't quote the whole article, but apparently this drug works in a similar manner as benzos...with the nasty!! sxs many of us are familiar with. So, it's not a sedative, for sure. At the end of the article, the author even noted the she wouldn't mind having access to some of the peptide 'alpha-casozepine' that makes up 'Zylkene.'

 

I gotta say that the mere fact that this peptide ends in the letters 'zepine'!! make me a bit wary...think we've all learned to not be keen of 'pine' ending drug names, for good reason. But it is kind of interesting, nevertheless, I find. ...Vets have been cracked down on re: keeping their steroid supplies for some years (body builders stealing 'em, or buying from baaaaad vets!); maybe now they'll be besieged by horse owners wanting supplies for their beasts...and maybe a bit on the side.

 

Horse amounts of meds are pretty huge i.e. for an app. 1000 lb. animal, so I can see how skimming a bit of Zylkene off Black Beauty's dose could be tempting...not that this is a practice I would condone, I should make clear!! I've posted this only because it's a bit of an intriguing subject...and a bit of an expose for people who aren't in the horse world...

 

p.s. I've known! people who have taken 'bute,' which is a strong horse painkiller which is NOT approved for humans; the one gal I saw was a nut to begin with, eeee.  I've also met the odd person who has taken some of their horse's joint supplement for arthritis, and claimed it really helped; I have been tempted by that somewhat, but when a bottle clearly states 'approved for use in animals only' I figure that it's there for a reason!!

[[go...]]

Good all Canadians!  I haven't posted on bb for a long time.  Ive been off clonazapam now for ... omg... I forgot to count... but over 2 years I think.  What a horrible ride.... words can not explain it as you all know.  I'm feeling better and better...but it's so slow You don't really notice.  I'm here to say that there is a end to this horrible tunnel.  I'm kinda in a protracted withdrawal.  I finally gave in to the depression and upped my wellbutrin to 300 dose and my doctor also prescribed me gabapentin 100mg and I am loving getting my life back for a while.  I never did get to wean off my antidepressant because I always sunk too low.  New plan is get a happy life and then my doctor promised me to liquid titrate me off very slowly but I'm gonna give it some time before I do.  My withdrawal from clonazapam left me in the worst depressed state I've ever been in my life.  But l am here to say life is much better and oh boy does it take a long time after.  I consider myself done with the benzos and I say "Go Canada Go".  Ps anyone from Edmonton on bb?

[[od...]]

I haven't stopped in for a while either, but 'Cuzin Bab' has made it her mission to keep us on page one, so I thought I'd give her a break. Hey gonnawin, good to hear from ya, and glad that things are going pretty decent for you recently . I'm just doing the farming thing, hoping the crops turn out okay re: rain at the right time and all that kinda thing. Been playing some senior (over 21) baseball with a regional team, and doing okay. Good stuff to keep 'athletic' and good guys to hang out with-travel to other towns, so that's cool. "Field of Dreams" or what, EH?! I hope everyone is hanging in and doing alright. It was only somewhere over a year ago that I got off a pretty short time on Ativan, but even that was tough. Cuzin Bab is still doing her snail thing off valium, so I'm cheering her on, along with the rest of us Canucks.

[[ba...]]

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Please consider donating a post the Canadian, Eh? thread, even if it's just a word or two! It would be too cruel an irony for us Canucks to be relegated to the SECOND page, so close to Canada Day, tous pense/ya think?? I know we have our 'polite and not too loud' reputation to uphold, but I also think it's important to maintain our lil' north o' 49 sanctuary here on BB...

[[Lo...]]

Hi All, I don't have much to report except that I am down to 3.2 mg of Zopiclone from about 10. Generally feeling better but sleep is suffering a bit. Can't complain a lot as I get @6 hours - others are getting far less.

I hope you all have a great long weekend.  I'm hoping to go to the beach for awhile. LL

[[...]]

Happy Canada Day!

 

I haven't posted in ages but thought I'd come back and drop a line to my fellow canucks.

 

Allie, I'm not surprised in the least about giving psych meds to horses.  It is QUITE common in the animal world.  My mothers dog has it's own Xanax prescription for crying out loud!

 

Here is one of my favourite TED talks on the subject of medicating animals....

 

[[Vi...]]

Hi fellow Canadians, I'm in Toronto and suffering for more than a year now. Off clonazepam 5 weeks and remeron 11 weeks.hugs for everybody.

[[Lo...]]

Hi Vica 55, It sounds like you have had a very rapid taper. Was this on the advice of a doctor? I am surprised you came off Remeron first. Sorry to hear that you are struggling but now that you are off, hopefully things will get better soon. What are you doing to manage the symptoms? LL

[[ba...]]

No need for me to 'Babble-on' right now, but just wanted to holler a big Canuck-y "THANKS!"  to the familiar  folks that checked in, above-after my poignant?! appeal for a bit of action on our lil' thread. Yay us, and hope everyone had a decent national holiday; we ALL make up our Canadian Sanctuary, even if some of us are at bit more chatty, ahem, than others. I heart y'all  , and wish each of you the best, wherever you are on the 'benzo spectrum.'

 

p.s. and welcome 'home' Vica-I know it's a tough slog, but it sounds like you're hanging in there. Drop in anytime ! 

[[Su...]]

Viva relax your on a journey now.  We all try to share and support each other.  It was a gold mine,. Lifesaver to find this site.  Hang in there.  Don't forget we are stronger in numbers.  Been on here after trying on my own.  It's been over a year now been tapering.  No regrets about that.

 

Have an awesome weekend everybody...we can only do our best.

[[al...]]

Stopped in on my way to shower off barn dirt/horse 'parfum' (hey, it's my aromatherapy, altho' I understand not everyone may share my preference for Eau de Cheval over Chanel No. 5...like anyone but a RICH horse person can afford anything but soap hah !), and was glad to see the flurry of posts over the Canada Day, Eh w'end. 

 

Great to see people checking in, and sharing stories a bit, as well as wishing us all a happy July 1st  ! My main goal on Canada Day is not to get coaxed into going in a parade...only 2 or 3 over the years (first in school band where our tiny effort was eclipsed by the well known touring Burlington Teen Band, argh!/second as part of huge recreation dep't 'kid's parade' in prairie city, where my kids and I and 'male model Matt' program leader had made a cool float, but it poured rain in the last few min. of the event, ugh!/third, riding a 'green' horse owned by crazy and persuasive endurance rider, in HUGE parade sooo hot and nerve wracking).

 

So, enuff of my scary parade memories  ...nice w'end in S. Ont., except we need some rain to get a decent second cut of hay, along with moisture for all types of crops etc. Just not a flood of water all summer! Again, nice to see fellow Canuckskis posting, and giving Bab a break haha ! Keep on plugging, everyone...

[[Lo...]]

HI Allie27, I am glad that you avoided the parade! And happy that you are making good progress now. that upper back pain is the pits! I have it too just now after working a lot on my potters wheel...hunched over/head forward position being a huge contributing factor. I need to take frequent breaks and do the stretches and strengthening exercises that I got from the physio. Do you have any positions/activities that stress these muscles? I imagine that you are in much better physical shape than I am given all your riding and physical work with the horses.  LL

[[al...]]

Hi Loveslife (and everyone in general ). Thx for the 'congrats' on my parade evasion , har. About that back tension/pain, I can see how your potters wheel work would contribute to it...good for you for stretching and other PT stuff! My worst almost unbearable back tension occurred when I was titrating directly off Ativan...but only dosing once a day.

 

OOPS. After 8ish mos. of steadily worsening discomfort-pain, I finally clued in to the fact that I was having bad! interdose w/d's every single day! Yikes. I've had a few weird physical sxs since switching to V and slowing my taper, but the back thing hasn't recurred...so far.

 

Nothing helped that 'interdose w/d' issue, but it looks like you're tapering pretty sensibly. Upper back tension does seem to be fairly common with tapering (even when not done stupidly, like moi ), and some people find Epsom salts baths/hot showers to help along with stretching. Also alternating hot and cold packs to confuse the nerves!

 

If I have a particularly dirty stall to clean, or strong/pulling horse to ride, my back still does get sore, but it's more my whole back; the shower or hot bath does help that. And I'm in decent shape from my horse chores (hours of chores for every hour of riding it seems, unless you're a pro with staff!), but I'm sure I'm not all that much more fabulously fit than you .

 

...I'm no artist, but have tried to throw the odd pot (when I worked in rec, and supervised a pottery program, among other things), and that's not bad exercise, phew! I'll bet the therapeutic value of being creative offsets the back stuff, so keep on potting? and experimenting with the stretching and all.

 

Good luck to us all re: aches and pains intensified by those relaxing benzo type drugs leaving our bodies...it's a sign of healing, I like to think !

[[od...]]

Well cuzin Bab(latrice) asked me to pinch hit for me today-although I busted a bone playing hardball last week, she has a bruised sternum-y sort of thing (she says feels a lot like the 3 horse-busted ribs she's had) she keeps reinjuring i.e. it'll feel better, then she'll pull some physical stunt like she does  , thinking she's being careful but ends up feeling pretty lousy. So there's me, with a cast on but feeling fine now, so she laid on the ol' guilt trip since she's feeling crummier , to keep our Canuck thread from falling off page 1 of support groups. Hope everyone is doing better than the clutzy cuzins right now, and maybe someone will catch us all up with a more fun!!!! tale??

[[Lo...]]

Hi All, I'm just checking in from beautiful BC. I am out in Nelson visiting my daughter and family. Beautiful country. Very different life here than in Toronto!!!  LL

[[Ch...]]

Hi All, I'm just checking in from beautiful BC. I am out in Nelson visiting my daughter and family. Beautiful country. Very different life here than in Toronto!!!  LL

 

I'm glad you're enjoying your holiday! You're right, it really is quite beautiful.

 

Have you had a chance to scout around the countryside? If you haven't been to the Slocan Valley you should, it's pretty too and there's an old silver mining town called Sandon, it's a ghost town, it's fun to poke around there. It's about 10km east of New Denver.

 

There's some really cool coffee shops along the way (Hwy 6), Sleep Is For Sissies in Winlow is awesome!

 

Hope you're doing well and enjoy your vacation!

 

Chinook 

[[Lo...]]

Thanks for the ideas. We have explored the area on other visits when my husband was living. He was from Trail, BC and so we had lots of trips around the area.

 

My daughter and family were planning that we would go zip lining here! Yikes! I did go parasailing in Spain in 2002 and it was fun but I am not really feeling up to zip lining! My nervous system is challenged enough by my taper from Zopiclone. And there are severe thunderstorms forecast.

 

I am off to poke around in the little shops here in Nelson. What an interesting and eclectic town....so different from where I live - Toronto.

 

I hope you all are enjoying the summer.  LL

[[Ch...]]

Happy Holiday to everyone!

 

I didn't know it's called something different in every province. What's it called in your province?

 

It's Heritage Day here in Alberta.

 

Chinook 

[[be...]]

Thanks Chinook,

 

Happy Heritage Day to you!  It's BC Day here.  Guess which province I'm in. 

 

Pleased to find my fellow Canadians here a couple days ago eh.  I started looking around more.  There's lots of good groups over here.

 

Happy ___________Day to everyone.

 

[[ra...]]

Hi, French from Montreal, Quebec here, guess it'a still Canadian... I don't want to talk about my withdrawal, it'a not far from ISIS torturing... In fact they should use this to make prisonners talk, bet it's better than waterboarding

 

Have a good day!