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@KNACKERED

A blog by [kn...] in Member Blogs

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About this blog

Narratives derived from personal experiences while tapering benzos.  Real life scenarios instilled with satire, humor, and a 'different and interesting way of looking at things.  

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Knackered Maxes Out with Benzos

Knackered Maxes Out with Benzos    Hey there,  Knackered here.  Survival, whether we’re lost in the woods or stuck at home during a blizzard is dependent on a few simple things.  To make it through, we’re going to need some water; without which we’ll only last a few days before dehydration sets in and we’re not long for this world.  Food, on the other hand can become a problem only after a couple hungry weeks go by.  If our BMI is a tad over the load limit, we may be ok for a bit longer.
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Knackered Can't Filter with Benzos

Knackered Can’t Filter with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  When we were growing up, my parents were church goers.  To keep peace in the family and not being trusted to stay home alone, we religiously (pun intended) went along.    Classes met by age level for half an hour and then all age levels met for the remainder of the time in ‘children’s church’.  There was no escape until we were let out to meet our parents after church let out.    Amid the Bible lessons and shenaniga
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Knackered Seeks Identity with Benzos

Knackered Seeks Identity with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  During the summer of 1969, having just graduated from high school,  a friend and I spent a month trying to ‘find ourselves’.  The whole thing happened in his ’53 Chevrolet that was purchased for $15.  Yes, that was outrageously cheap, even for those days.  It burned a little oil: each day consumed about half a gallon of repurposed guck that we purchased in plastic gallon jugs.  But, we gave the vehicle a coat of glossy blac
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Knackered Enters and Exits with Benzos

Knackered Enters and Exits with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  I’ll admit it.  I’m just going to come right out and say it.  I am a life long fan and groupie of that comedic trio famously known as the Three Stooges.  Loathed by my mother as ‘terrible role models’, ignored by my father who called them a ‘waste of space”, but adored by my German grandmother, my brother and me, their antics sent us into hysterics.  The three of us sat on the couch and watched the three of them whenever
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Knackered is Lame with Benzos

Knackered is Lame with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  “Lame” has come to mean a lot of different things these days.  According to vocab.com. it currently has three different meanings that vary as to situation.  It can mean:  different in nature or a quality, marked by casual disrespect, or wounded in the feet or legs.    There are so many lame things out there to capture our attention.  Abuses of power in political or societal situations, ridicule of someone who is a little diff
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Knackered Has No Expectations with Benzos

Knackered Has No Expectation with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  Yesterday was the anniversary of an event that made our area famous for awhile.  We’re home to the largest and most destructive volcanic eruption in US history.  I grew up camping and hiking around Mt. St. Helens.  Indigenous people of the area had long ago warned settlers that the area was sacred, strange and ‘spooky’.  Nevertheless they came, built and recreated. And they should have listened to the tribal people who
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Knackered Wonders About Rushing with Benzos

Knackered Wonders About Rushing with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  In 1979, the rock band, “The Who”, were scheduled to play at Riverfront Coliseum in Cincinnati.  Concert goers were told via a radio station announcement that ticket holders would be admitted at 3:00PM.  By 5:00PM the doors had still not opened, but a crowd of ticket holders had gathered in anticipation of the event.  Two sets of doors were supposed to be opened at the same time, but only one in fact did. The resulti
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Knackered Anticipates the Worst with Benzos

Knackered Anticipates the Worst with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  Christmas of 1999 was indeed a scary time.  No, I wasn’t afraid that Santa wouldn’t show or that the relatives would, but if your memory serves you well, the world was supposed to end on New Year’s Eve.  That’s right, when the ball in Times Square bottomed out, the world as we knew it was a goner.    If you partied too hard, you might have gone into that good night feeling like it truly had.  But for the populat
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Knackered is Under Construction with Benzos

Knackered is Under Construction with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  There’s a lot of stuff under construction in one way or another these days.  Yellow cones are popping up like dandelions on the roads, warning signs send us off on detours, major bridges need fixing and websites that have worked just fine for years now have new verification codes, password requirements, and numerous explanations as to what to do with your cookies.  My head was under construction the other day when th
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Knackered Goes Tribal with Benzos

Knackered Goes Tribal with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  When I was growing up in the baby boomer years of the 1950’s (at least 100 kids per block), every one of us could be found in our pajamas on Saturday morning on the living room floor.  Mesmerized in front of what my mother called the “idiot box”, we watched cartoons and super guy shows till lunch time.  There were no super girl shows yet; that type of awareness was way down the line.    The ‘super people’ shows in those d
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Knackered has Sadness and Grief with Benzos

Knackered has Sadness and Grief with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  I’ve had a lot of things to despair in the recent past.  The passing of parents, cancer and recovery, a forced Benzo taper and the pain and struggle that’s all brought about.   My ordeals pale in comparison to those of friends we’ve known through the years.  Losses of wives and husbands, much too early in life, and aging coworkers who were happily retired, but now gone or in care homes have been hard to handle. 
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Knackered Seeks the Divine Feminine with Benzos

Knackered Seeks the Divine Feminine with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  My own mother was indeed a force to contend with.  While like all mothers of her time, she never worked outside our home until my brother and I were well on our way. The lessons she taught and the qualities she imparted have left an everlasting imprint.    My wife and mother to our own children taught the personal and powerful life lessons that served our kids well when they ventured out into the world.  He
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Knackered Seeks Serenity with Benzos

Knackered Seeks Serenity with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  Around the time that the US Selective Service was offering me a one way, fully paid trip to Southeast Asia (Viet Nam war), a film came out that left a huge impression on me and inspired a classical phrase that is still bantered about.  “Catch 22”, released in 1970, was based on a 1961 novel of the same name by Joseph Heller.  The film is a dark, satirical, comedy that takes place on a base in the Mediterranean during WW II
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Knackered Goes Historic with Benzos

Knackered Goes Historical with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  If you’re into daytime TV (for those who can still watch TV), there are limited options.  The Price is Right is still a favorite and if you want to find out who fathered the love child of Sheila’s cousin’s sister’s evil twin, the Soaps are still out there for you.  But the growing favorite of many is the HGTV channels of home renovations.    Home styles are too numerous for me to keep up with, but a remodeled country
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Knackered Hurts and is Stuck at Home with Benzos

Knackered Hurts and is Stuck at Home with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  During my college years, shortly after the ice crust melted, I lived on an interesting block with a unique house nearby.  The place was known as the ‘Serendipity House’ and hosted a very interesting group of people.  The windows were covered with American flags and tie dyed sheets.  The outside was painted with a kaleidoscope of rainbow colors from partially used cans that were found in the shed out back.  Thei
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Knackered Tears It Down with Benzos

Knackered Tears it Down with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  The most exciting thing happening in our locale is just two blocks away from our doorstep.  It seems that the city council has condemned a house in the neighborhood and is in the process of tearing it down.  Next to the 4th of July parade that includes both a fire engine and a logging truck, and the annual squirrel fest (bloody little hoppers have taken over), this is the hottest thing around right now.    I think is s
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Knackered's Minions of the Mind with Benzos

Knackered’s Minions of the Mind with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  Most of the ailments that haunt my feeble mind have done me wrong.  Anxiety, panic disorders, and a lack of impulse control have led me down the wrong direction on the garden path far too many times.    Probably the worst of them all has been OCD.  It’s obsessive, it’s compulsive, and it has definitely not been my friend.  When I was just a wee lad, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and stari
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Knackered Seeks Balance with Benzos

Knackered Seeks Balance with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  Probably the greatest balancing act of all time was done by a Norwegian named Tell Teigen atop a one hundred foot pole and four kitchen chairs on the Santa Monica Beach in the early 1950’s. While he successfully accomplished that feat and more, he fell to his death during a performance in 1958.  While he focussed on just one thing in life you could say that he still lived a very balanced life.    It’s safe to say that l
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Knackered Weighs in on Disappointment with Benzos

Knackered Weighs in on Disappointment with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here. Not far from where we live are two historic landmarks.  They are known as Dismal Niche and Cape Disappointment respectively. If they sound like bad news locations, it’s because they were.    Dismal Niche was a landing spot for Lewis and Clark and their discovery corp when they faced a fierce winter storm that sidelined them during the winter of 1805.  It was disappointing place indeed.  With a horrible wea
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Knackered is Tested with Benzos

Knackered is Tested with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  The beginning of our life’s ordeal with testing starts before we actually arrive on the scene.  It usually starts in the home bathroom setting, where the likelihood of our existence is derived via a test purchased either hopefully or in unbelief at the pharmacy.  Once that is determined and things are a ‘go’, we’ll be subjected to both exterior and interior tests to determine what condition we’ll present ourselves upon touch dow
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Knackered's Learning Curve with Benzos

Knackered’s Learning Curve with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  When I first found this site and logged in, I had an immediate connection with all of you.  I felt your pain and knew immediately that we had much in common.  This was not the case, when it came to the steep learning curve required to keep up with that special language of ‘Benzo vocabulary’. What’s followed has been a continual education when it came to ‘Benzo words’, that has taken much longer and is still going on ever
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Knackered Sorts Normal with Benzos

Knackered Sorts Normal with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here. It’s been said that normal is highly over rated. Yet the majority of us seek to achieve that end.  It’s true that being normal coincides with what type of pack we're running in.  It is probably the safest way of getting around in our society.  If you’re the weirdest of the flock,  they tend to bite you and attempt to drive you away.    Most of us here say that we just want to heal up and return to normal.  But yet, we’ll
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Knackered Sorts the Truth with Benzos

Knackered Sorts the Truth with Benzos    Hey there, Knackered here.  Have you heard the latest?  It’s been reported that the Illumanati has sent an alien army of life force agents to attack the earth with kryptonic  transmitted laser guns.  All inhabitants are advised to don tin foil hats and go out only under the cover of darkness.  It must be true.  I read it on the internet.    Yes, conspiracy theories abound about most everything these days.  They come from all sources. some folks
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Knackered has Confusion with Benzos

Knackered Has Confusion with Benzos      Hey there, Knackered here.  It’s probably safe to say that most of us reading this don’t really know where we’re going until we get there.  If that seems like a strange way to think about this whole process, stop for a minute and reflect upon how we got to this point in the first place. There must be someone out there who researched the whole thing, talked to credible people who have already arrived, and made the decision to proceed.  You don’t
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Knackered Waxes and Wanes with Benzos

Knackered Waxes and Wanes with Benzos    Hey there.  Knackered here.  Did you see it?  It was quite the galactic event.  A once in a lifetime deal.  Alas, the knackered household was not on the path.  Actually, the only path I’m on these days is the one I share with you.  Nevertheless we did reach totality.  It happened in living color right in front of the T.V.  The only atmospheric conditions going on in our part of the world were the usual clouds and drizzle.    If you were in the r
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