Knackered Sorts Normal with Benzos

   Hey there, Knackered here. It’s been said that normal is highly over rated. Yet the majority of us seek to achieve that end.  It’s true that being normal coincides with what type of pack we're running in.  It is probably the safest way of getting around in our society.  If you’re the weirdest of the flock,  they tend to bite you and attempt to drive you away.

   Most of us here say that we just want to heal up and return to normal.  But yet, we’ll never be able to get back to whatever we think that was.  What is normal in one instance at one place with one crowd can be declared strange when we go out to dinner with another.  Judgement is the key thing here and we are always the worst when it comes to evaluating ourselves.

   The reason that we’re here in the first place is that the reality of our lives proved to be too much.  This led to some type of desire to escape from all that.

   When we’re dealt more than we can cope with the easiest way out tends to lead to behavior (mental) health problems.  These in turn result in visits to the doctor, which lead to prescriptions, which lead to medications (Benzos) and here we are again.

   If reality is anchored in real time; then so is normality.  Nothing is the same way from one moment to the next.  With no static entity to “normal” it’s in continual transition.  You just can’t trust this thing.  It’s like Jello, or nowadays maybe that stuff that kids play with called ‘Slime’.   No constant shape, and designed to fit any container or occasion.

   So it’s fruitless to think that there’s any chance to return to what we once thought of as ‘normal’ once we’ve fallen down the Benzo rabbit hole.  We may be able to find our way out, but we’ll be forever changed and not necessarily in a bad way.

   Before this whole withdrawal thing started there wasn’t really anything standard about me.  Trying to stay in that place has led to a great deal of grief in my life and I really don’t want to find my way back.

   The ‘process’ (WD) has taught me a lot of things.  One, I need to slow down my life as bad as I do my taper.  Rather that biting off chunks of things that I’ll never be able to digest, I need to sip away a bit at a time.

   I’ve spent my life trying to get somewhere in a hurry.  It’s never served me well and when I do arrive I’ve usually wondered what I’m doing here in the first place.  Moving slower gives me a better view of the scenery, helps me stay grounded, and I can better see the next place I need to go.

   Trying to stay with the crowd will never get any of us to our destination.  There are as many ‘normals’ as there are people running around on the planet.

   The only safe way to be and accomplish anything is to proceed at our own pace, in real life, with a compass unique to ourselves.  Attempts to run with the crowd of normality is destined to lead to a dead end that will never get us to where we want to be. It’s true that “Normal only exists in Denial Land” (Jim Butcher- Cold Days )