~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[La...]]

You’re welcome Fruity. To answer your question. I once thought it was that but actually I started observing it when it happens and it’s just random. If I get up to walk around a bit, when I lay back down then i get the sinking. If I sit on the toilet I feel it. After I eat about  30 minutes up to an hour afterwards, I feel it. When trying to go to sleep I feel it.

So try just observing it making a mental note of when it occurs. That will better answer your question. But I will say that some things we do will make our symptoms increase. It’s nothing to fear. What helped me is pretending. LOL I know that might sound crazy. But if I’m boaty, I pretend I’m being rocked by my mother like I’m a baby. Or you can pretend it’s one of those old school water beds. If I’m sinking I pretend I’m laying on a cloud. When I get a looping song in my head, I jam to it. If it’s one I get tired of I change the station lol thinking of a better song I can jam to LOL

Hey…if you can’t beat it, join it! Right?

[[Fr...]]

I am getting this severe heavy cement feeling that comes with the sinking. Like my arms and legs feel like 1000 pounds and I can’t lift them and also like a cement slab on my chest so that I feel like I can’t expand my lungs and you are right I’d seems to come on 30-1 hour after eating or after getting up to walk around the cement heaviness is very scary to me. I feel paralyzed like I can’t move and then I start to have anxiety about what is wrong. Do you get this heavy cement feeling as well? So you just try to accept this is what is happening and breath through. I keep trying to figure what is causing it and avoid it like if it’s food go longer in between meals and eat less I just can’t really tell but I think food triggers it huge.

[[ho...]]

Hi girls….I just am jumping on….I noticed BB’s didn’t log me out….but I haven’t been on.  I went into a bad wave and just hid under the blankets. Ugh.  I don’t do well when I am in my waves.  I will try and catch up tomorrow and engage.

 

 

Marie

[[La...]]

Hugs Marie. I’ve been wondering where you’ve been. Lol under the blankets hiding!  In waves, that’s a good place to be. I totally get it. Hope today is better for you. I’m in a wave right now so I’m also under the covers.

 

Fruity yes I get the heaviness too. Not as bad as yours. I assure you that it’s nothing to fear. It’s just another unpleasant symptom. Like all the others, it will fade away. Not fun I know. Scary yes. But it’s common. We’ve got to just keep distracting and get through each day. Every day is a day of healing and one day closer to being back to normal. When you feel heavy, just acknowledge it and distract to ignore it. This will help with the anxiety. Do you have any series to watch? Netflix has really good ones.

[[Fr...]]

Thank you LadyDen. It’s such an awful feeling that I try to do what I can to keep it from happening. Food seems to bring it on so I try to eat less.Also when I am upright for to long . I will keep working on accepting. A lot of time watching tv is hard for me but I keep trying. Thanking of you today and hoping things even out. Hugs!

[[La...]]

Thinking of you too deary. Remember to be extra kind to yourself. Sending you hugs 🤗 and thank you for the well wishes

[[ho...]]

Hi girl’s - I woke up with a window, but it didn’t last very long….I slept a lot today, I so needed it.  I love NETFLIX!  If I didn’t have my shows, I would have lost it.  :'( :'( :'( :'(…….I think I have watched more TV in my life in the last year.  Lot’s of good series on Netflix/Prime and HULU.

 

I’m sorry you are in a wave too Lady, and Fruity you are obviously in a wave too…. :mybuddy:  These are the worst times….but we will make it through.  So many have done this before us, and they have made it   I found a lady on Tick Tock and watched her video’s and it took her years, and she lost everything.  But she is now healed and has her life back.  There are so many of these stories.  So we have hope

 

I have to go back and see who I missed on here. 

 

Marie

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

[[Fr...]]

Hi girl’s - I woke up with a window, but it didn’t last very long….I slept a lot today, I so needed it.  I love NETFLIX!  If I didn’t have my shows, I would have lost it.  :'( :'( :'( :'(…….I think I have watched more TV in my life in the last year.  Lot’s of good series on Netflix/Prime and HULU.

 

I’m sorry you are in a wave too Lady, and Fruity you are obviously in a wave too…. :mybuddy:  These are the worst times….but we will make it through.  So many have done this before us, and they have made it   I found a lady on Tick Tock and watched her video’s and it took her years, and she lost everything.  But she is now healed and has her life back.  There are so many of these stories.  So we have hope

 

I have to go back and see who I missed on here. 

 

Marie

 

Hi Marie-

Some days tik tok is what helps me get through the day. My attention span can only have for that short of a video. Do you make content on there?

[[Fr...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

 

Thank you hugs to you!

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

 

Thank you hugs to you!

 

Thank you ❤

[[La...]]

Hi girl’s - I woke up with a window, but it didn’t last very long….I slept a lot today, I so needed it.  I love NETFLIX!  If I didn’t have my shows, I would have lost it.  :'( :'( :'( :'(…….I think I have watched more TV in my life in the last year.  Lot’s of good series on Netflix/Prime and HULU.

 

I’m sorry you are in a wave too Lady, and Fruity you are obviously in a wave too…. :mybuddy:  These are the worst times….but we will make it through.  So many have done this before us, and they have made it   I found a lady on Tick Tock and watched her video’s and it took her years, and she lost everything.  But she is now healed and has her life back.  There are so many of these stories.  So we have hope

 

I have to go back and see who I missed on here. 

 

Marie

Hugs Marie! Yes I don’t know what I’d do without Netflix too while going through this. Such a great distraction. And Sanford and Son. Lol hilarious!!! Good to hear from you as always. Yes we’re all having waves about the same time. Now where’s our much deserved windows? Lol

[[La...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

Welcome back Dianne. Thanks for joining us again. I appreciate you reaching out so kindly. Sorry you’re in a wave too. You’re not, not fun is an understatement. Lol but I look at them as necessary because they are. Brains are hard at work fixing the damage those evil pills did to us. One day this will all be just a bad memory.  Hopefully that one day will be soon.

Are you able to do much?

[[Fr...]]

I could use some support just on basic care. My heaviness is so severe I can’t even life my head or arms and legs. The days where you say you under the blanket hiding in a wave how do you manage normal food and water making your pills etc… My husband is getting frustrated and wore out. We have a caregiver coming only two days a week from 10-2 while he is at the office. The other days he works from home to help me. The heaviness seems so bad lately.

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

Welcome back Dianne. Thanks for joining us again. I appreciate you reaching out so kindly. Sorry you’re in a wave too. You’re not, not fun is an understatement. Lol but I look at them as necessary because they are. Brains are hard at work fixing the damage those evil pills did to us. One day this will all be just a bad memory.  Hopefully that one day will be soon.

Are you able to do much?

 

Hi Ladyden,

Thank you for the warm welcome.  I keep telling myself that these bad times are healing times.  I spend a lot of time on the couch lately.  I've been holding for 20 days and feeling worse.  I get dressed everyday and try to do a few things in the house.  How are you today?

Hugs

 

 

[[Fr...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

 

I am sorry you are feeling bad. I feel worse holding too but am so sick I don’t see how I can taker like this. I just go back and forth with my looping brian all day about wether to cut or hold. What equivalent of Valium is your dose and how do you taper? Praying we both get relief soon.

Welcome back Dianne. Thanks for joining us again. I appreciate you reaching out so kindly. Sorry you’re in a wave too. You’re not, not fun is an understatement. Lol but I look at them as necessary because they are. Brains are hard at work fixing the damage those evil pills did to us. One day this will all be just a bad memory.  Hopefully that one day will be soon.

Are you able to do much?

 

Hi Ladyden,

Thank you for the warm welcome.  I keep telling myself that these bad times are healing times.  I spend a lot of time on the couch lately.  I've been holding for 20 days and feeling worse.  I get dressed everyday and try to do a few things in the house.  How are you today?

Hugs

[[Di...]]

Hi Fruitypop,

I am so sorry you are suffering so badly.  Did you feel better when you dropped from 5.6 to 5?  Sometimes IMO I think holding too long causes problems.  I struggle with looping thoughts of to cut or not to cut.  I do the DLMT I taper using liquid Lorazepam deluted with water.  I hope you start feeling better.

Hugs

[[Fr...]]

Hi Fruitypop,

I am so sorry you are suffering so badly.  Did you feel better when you dropped from 5.6 to 5?  Sometimes IMO I think holding too long causes problems.  I struggle with looping thoughts of to cut or not to cut.  I do the DLMT I taper using liquid Lorazepam deluted with water.  I hope you start feeling better.

Hugs

 

Dropping from 5.6-5 was tough that is when I hit a wall and started holding. I got to where I was reacted to food and physical activity couldn’t leave the house any longer and had to rest until 5-6 in the evening but I could still make my own food. I did a rescue dose and a 14 day dose correct in August hoping to get a little better and that is when the pots and adrenaline wake up every few hours throughout the night started happening. I have been mostly holding since Audgusr 17 but holding makes me feel so bad that occoasioanl inwould do a small daily micro taper for a week or so here and there. I just did two weeks of cutting a very slow 2% rate and then started holding again the past two weeks because the cutting was giving much more adrenaline and blood sugar swings. But I know I need to get off and holding gives me agitation almost akathasia type and toxic in the brain and makes me so nauseous I can hardly eat so I don’t know what the answer is. I feel so scared and confused.

[[Di...]]

Fruitypop,

I am so sorry I wish I had the answer for you too.  I understand being scared and confused.  I have tried and searched for so many ways to feel better.  I have had a lot of stressful situations since June that have thrown me into waves.  Sounds like you have tried to help yourself too.  I have trouble with eating I have lost close to 50 lbs since this all started.  I just wish I had something to tell you that would help.  Please just know you are not alone.

Hugs❤

[[ho...]]

Hi

 

Dianedeedee- Sorry to see you over here too.  Boo boo. 

 

Lady- I use to love Sanford and Son growing up (dating myself).  You know I went back and read through some old threads, when I was MIA and I am so sorry about you and your husband.    I went through a divorce 10 years ago, but it was something that was long coming. Still it was hard with “kids”.  Anyway, you are a very strong women

 

Fruitie- The under the blankets is just because I feel like I have the “flu”…so “benzo-flu”.  I can get up and do stuff, but I just don’t feel like it.  It’s all I can do to brush my teeth, brush my hair and shower, or rinse off, and some days I don’t shower.  I drink water or my green tea ( I didn’t feel like my green tea today) and I haven’t eaten anything all day.  I have had no appetite today.  I will eat something in a while…..I’m also forcing myself to drink my water (I don’t want to).  My skin is burning today and my tinnitus is mild, but my joints are really hurting and just don’t want to do anything…..so that’s my “under the blankets”.  My poor dog’s are not getting the amount of attention they normally get.  I’m so thankful that I don’t have young kids.  I’m so very sorry about your heaviness.  I don’t have that….. I’m not sure what that would do to me.  Just try and hang in there, that’s all we can do.  It’s just “time”.  I keep telling myself the same thing.  My brain/body is just healing and trying to relearn how to function without this drug.  I couldn’t sleep until 5:00AM…..and then I woke up at 8:00AM.  UGH  

 

Praying for a window!  Sending Prayer’s too 

 

Marie

[[La...]]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted on here before just thought I'd pop in and say Hi and that I'm so sorry everyone seems to be in a wave right now.  I'm also in one it's been a few days sure not fun. 

 

Wishing everyone a better day tomorrow.

 

Hugs❤

 

Welcome back Dianne. Thanks for joining us again. I appreciate you reaching out so kindly. Sorry you’re in a wave too. You’re not, not fun is an understatement. Lol but I look at them as necessary because they are. Brains are hard at work fixing the damage those evil pills did to us. One day this will all be just a bad memory.  Hopefully that one day will be soon.

Are you able to do much?

 

Hi Ladyden,

Thank you for the warm welcome.  I keep telling myself that these bad times are healing times.  I spend a lot of time on the couch lately.  I've been holding for 20 days and feeling worse.  I get dressed everyday and try to do a few things in the house.  How are you today?

Hugs

O sweet Dianne you’re welcome. I’m doing ok as can be expected. Waves off and on throughout the day and at bedtime. Windows as well. Just going through each day distracting with positive fun things.

How long are you planning on holding?

Good that you push yourself a bit. I don’t know when is the last time I got dressed and just sat up like a normal person. I really miss doing those little things. But I know I’ll get there soon.

Today isn’t as bad as yesterday…..so far lol

[[Fr...]]

My husband went to the office today and my caregiver is coming for the first time at 10am-2pm which is my worst time. He left me cooked eggs in the fridge and I just had to warn them this morning since she won’t be here for another hour. I did change out of my nightgown into sweats and semi made my bed pulling the covers up. I lay on top of the bed made with a new blanket during the day. Just this little activity and my heart rate is 120 sweating and this horrible burn in the adrenal area in my back. I continue to feel so heavy after eating this is a new symptom since holding and it’s very bizarre and uncomfortable. After about 2-3 hours as the food digests it lifts only to come back when I eat again. I wonder if I have low cortisol or something and holding on the benzo is lowering it more and eating is lowering it more where I am flat lined. I just lay here feeling paralyzed and trying to breath because it freaks me out. A lot of times it comes with a cement feeling in the chest as well and I feel like I can’t breathe. Maybe it’s lower the adrenaline response with holding and food and I should welcome it but it feel so scary like I can’t breathe. When I am actively taper I feel more hypoglycemic and more adrenaline/cortisol heart racing. I looked at my signature and I have been doing this portion of the taper three years now and my mind just loops on wether holding or continue to taper. So many have told me you need to hold to stabilize and that you could feel worse and it takes a long time and then others say you won’t find homeostasis until off so go at a reasonable rate and keep going. I feel very disconnected from myself to intuitively feel what to do. I am in such a low dose at this point. Less than 2mg of v equivalent which I know are usually the hardest. Sorry I am just speaking my thoughts out here. My mind just loops and loops.

 

I find my brain wants consistency and I haven’t been actively tapering since August when I crashed I will hold for 2-4 weeks can’t handle the increased agitation stimulation depression heaviness from holding and then cut and can’t handle the swings of adrenaline and surges. I am highly reactive and everytine dinething doesn’t feel good I change my mind. But I am in a really bad spot and think if I sm going to feel like hell and be bed bound I may as well be moving forward. I just loop like this all day long. The heaviness in the body is really preventing me from doing any distraction but my mind feels more mental stamina or evenness since holding if that’s makes since but I have more heaviness agitation depression almost like akathasia run of skin fear the past few days at different times of day That causes me to pace until I fall over in exhaustion.

 

Praying everyone has better days ahead.

[[Di...]]

Hi Ladyden,

I hope today has continued to be better than yesterday.  I always pray that the tomorrows will be better.

 

I'm glad you can distract and have windows.

 

Hugs ❤

[[Di...]]

Hi Fruitypop,

I am so sorry you struggling so hard.  I hope things went well with your caregiver today.  So hoping you are feeling a little better.

 

Hugs❤

[[Fr...]]

She was nice and will be very helpful. Talking her through things since she is new put such a strain on me and gives me body burning nerve pain it’s so weird that just talking does that. She is gone and my son is home. I am just laying low recovering this afternoon as it is stimulating to have someone new in the house.

 

Hope you are all having a better day today.