ASHTON TAPER / CUT & HOLD SUPPORT

[[Sh...]]

Yes I do but I probably can't post it here. Thanks for being here for me. I know this will pass and I'm tapering at a fairly rapid level. Hope I feel better by Monday. It seems when I'm out straight at work and I don't have time to think it's better.

I know I'm healing because I'm still sleeping really well and I feel more alive than I have in a long time. But being ALIVE and waking up form a benzo coma is painful but so worth it. jus trying not to make any big decisions about anything right now because chances are they'd be wrong.

Than

Thanks again jealous you can hike but happy for you. I'm going to try again this week.

The worst of my job stress is almost over. I'm on vacation the second week in July. Going to Atlantic City with my husband I hope to be at 6 mg by then. Should be a great trip LOL

Sharon

[[Bi...]]

I'm still here. It's been a week now on .5 and this means next Monday I'm going to jump. Maybe. It's as terrifying as it is exciting. I'm a reader and have been reading some great books on brain science and mindfulness to get me through my taper. Next one on my reading list is Buddha's  Brain. The science behind mindfulness, Just read the first chapter on how our thoughts become us. So I'm working on strengthening my neural pathways into more helpful areas. Sharon was it you who thought of their taper in terms of what you are NOT taking. It's the coolest idea. When you look at where you were and how much less poison is going in to you. Every day is an achievement even if you are holding. Every one here is moving forward from their original dosage,

Ingrid, sorry that the vertigo is causing you so much worry. It is almost as though we are all on a quest. Each of us had a different reason for taking the drug in the first place and we have to search for an answer to the problem that doesn't involve drugs. Sounds as if you are doing that with the exercises. I think of you hiking like a warrior.

Anyway I'm feeling great. My mind is trying to throw me into self doubt but I have no physical symptoms at all. I'm pretty sure the V I'm taking now is doing nothing. I used to wake up craving v and get relief when I take it, both those things have gone.

Wishing you all love and healing.

 

[Guest [in...]]

Ingrid, sorry that the vertigo is causing you so much worry. It is almost as though we are all on a quest. Each of us had a different reason for taking the drug in the first place and we have to search for an answer to the problem that doesn't involve drugs. Sounds as if you are doing that with the exercises. I think of you hiking like a warrior.

Anyway I'm feeling great. My mind is trying to throw me into self doubt but I have no physical symptoms at all. I'm pretty sure the V I'm taking now is doing nothing. I used to wake up craving v and get relief when I take it, both those things have gone.

Wishing you all love and healing.

 

So glad ur feeling great!!    I love that u referred to me as a warrior, as I do say that to myself "worrier to warrior" to get thru tough times  Yes, our minds need positive stuff swirling around, no doubts or thoughts of what's to come...Im trying to do that--Believe really Believe, Im getting thru this, No matter what 

[[bo...]]

I'm still here - still checking in. Just not doing anything.

Have extended my hold at 5mg, as I've had this flu-y virus-y thing for several weeks and I don't feel well enough yet to do the next cut. I'm pretty sure while I've been ill stuff isn't metabolising quite the same - both my A/D and V, and it's made me that bit more fragile for a bit.

 

Will do the next cut hold once I have a full week feeling reasonable at least.

 

[Guest [in...]]

I'm still here - still checking in. Just not doing anything.

Have extended my hold at 5mg, as I've had this flu-y virus-y thing for several weeks and I don't feel well enough yet to do the next cut. I'm pretty sure while I've been ill stuff isn't metabolising quite the same - both my A/D and V, and it's made me that bit more fragile for a bit.

 

Will do the next cut hold once I have a full week feeling reasonable at least.

Hi bolders Sorry ur not up to par. Seems alot of people have a sinus thingy going on, is urs benzo flu or just plain old sick? When is ur trip? I was thinking in July? Sending u healing thoughts...

[[Sh...]]

Well I ended up at the Drs I have sty's in both eyes I'm on antibiotics have to put in my eyes very painful. Doing hot compresses every couple of hours. My sxs are through the roof. Have had all I can do to not up dose. If I thought it would help mid do it.

First time I wanted to take a Valium for relief and to relax was after the Drs yesterday.  I didn't take any but this is awful.

I'm out of work the entire week and possibly Monday. Work actually helps but I'm just one hot mess right now.

Pearce and healing to all Sharon

[[Ju...]]

Oh Sharon.  I'm so sorry.    You sound miserable.  I can't imagine going through this during withdrawal.  Hang in there and I hope your eyes heal up quickly. 

[[no...]]

Well I ended up at the Drs I have sty's in both eyes I'm on antibiotics have to put in my eyes very painful. Doing hot compresses every couple of hours. My sxs are through the roof. Have had all I can do to not up dose. If I thought it would help mid do it.

First time I wanted to take a Valium for relief and to relax was after the Drs yesterday.  I didn't take any but this is awful.

I'm out of work the entire week and possibly Monday. Work actually helps but I'm just one hot mess right now.

Pearce and healing to all Sharon

 

Hi Sharon,

I feel for ya... I have had three sty's in my left eye during my taper. They are horrible so I feel your pain. Mine always went away with time, hopefully yours will as well. I have read of others having them, I guess it is not uncommon.

Hang in there

[[Ne...]]

Fast Question to the Group, I have used cut and hold all the way from 22 Mg's of Valium to 0.75 and I am preparing to cut. Does the 10 % recommendation still hold which would be for me to 0.62 and the 0.5 before jumping or should I go direct to .5 from the current .75.... and my symptoms are the same. TINNITUS is the major one.

How long are the recommended holds here?

Thanks

[[Bi...]]

Hi NSH

I cut all the way .5 every fortnight. And two days ago I jumped at .5, I couldn't even wait for the fortnight. I was terrified but i couldn't prolong the agony anymore. It seems to me jumping is not the end but the halfway point. I will see what happens, but for me I just didn't think the pills were doing anything but keeping my chained to something psychologically. I looked at the post jump thread and people seem to suffer no matter where they jump (within reason). I just want the end to begin if you know what I mean. I also had more symptoms when I started tapering and got less at the end. Good luck to you all.

Sharon how painful for you and Iggy glad to hear you are past your vertigo barrier.

Good luck and healing to you all. What a nightmare.

[[Ne...]]

Hi NSH

I cut all the way .5 every fortnight. And two days ago I jumped at .5, I couldn't even wait for the fortnight. I was terrified but i couldn't prolong the agony anymore. It seems to me jumping is not the end but the halfway point. I will see what happens, but for me I just didn't think the pills were doing anything but keeping my chained to something psychologically. I looked at the post jump thread and people seem to suffer no matter where they jump (within reason). I just want the end to begin if you know what I mean. I also had more symptoms when I started tapering and got less at the end. Good luck to you all.

Sharon how painful for you and Iggy glad to hear you are past your vertigo barrier.

Good luck and healing to you all. What a nightmare.

Glad you are OFF. Sounds to me like everything you did was RIGHT ON. I think I am probably hanging on too long. I don't think the pills are doing anything for me either except feeding the accumulated Valium/ I have had a plethora of symptoms but they do keeps us chained. The only way for the end to begin is to be OFF. Best of healing to you.

[[Bi...]]

Yeah that's what I thought NSH. I found that thinking about the future cuts was giving me more anxiety than the cuts. I made the decision to jump after I went into a meltdown a few days ago on a morning I planned to cut, I thought this is crazy I am throwing up over something I haven't even done yet. In the manual it says jump at 0.5 and I thought well Professor Ashton has been right so far. Of course I speak only for myself what other people do is totally understandable. You have to be ready. I am pretty sure I will have some after effects but I have better strategies now. I have been lucky with my taper. The less I took the better I felt. When I got below 1 i didn't get that feeling of relief I got before that. I figured it was doing nothing. I really want to stress this is NO reflection of others. I wish everyone here nothing but freedom from this evil monster however they choose.

[Guest [in...]]

Yeah that's what I thought NSH. I found that thinking about the future cuts was giving me more anxiety than the cuts. I made the decision to jump after I went into a meltdown a few days ago on a morning I planned to cut, I thought this is crazy I am throwing up over something I haven't even done yet. In the manual it says jump at 0.5 and I thought well Professor Ashton has been right so far. Of course I speak only for myself what other people do is totally understandable. You have to be ready. I am pretty sure I will have some after effects but I have better strategies now. I have been lucky with my taper. The less I took the better I felt. When I got below 1 i didn't get that feeling of relief I got before that. I figured it was doing nothing. I really want to stress this is NO reflection of others. I wish everyone here nothing but freedom from this evil monster however they choose.

 

Bigmistake Another congratulations from me, and as I noted on other thread, I love the simplicity of ur taper! That's the way I want to do it....

Plz keep us updated on how it goes, and like I said, ur free, free, free as a bird now!! 

[[Sm...]]

Down to 9.5 now.

 

Feel a bit rough but is about day 3 and I always do.

 

Anyway into single digits

[[Sh...]]

Congrats on single digits Small I'm at 9.

I was back at the Dr yesterday a gland in my right eye is blocked. They discontinued the oral ointment thank God. I'm much better today and feeling more stable than I have in awhile. Ready for my next cut looking forward to moving forward. This was a real bump in the road but it forced me to rest a lot and I think I needed it.

So back to work tomorrow not sure when I will cut probably Wed.

Thanks to everyone here for caring.

Peace and healing to all Sharon

[[no...]]

Down to 9.5 now.

 

Feel a bit rough but is about day 3 and I always do.

 

Anyway into single digits

Hey Small,

I remember when you first started your taper, look how far you have come. Nice work my friend, below ten is great. Hope you are well. 

[Guest [Mo...]]

Down to 9.5 now.

 

Feel a bit rough but is about day 3 and I always do.

 

Anyway into single digits

 

Alright Small!!

Good to see you're in the single digits.

Wishing you many windows and keep going. Hope you're okay otherwise...

Moo

[[Sm...]]

Congrats on single digits Small I'm at 9.

I was back at the Dr yesterday a gland in my right eye is blocked. They discontinued the oral ointment thank God. I'm much better today and feeling more stable than I have in awhile. Ready for my next cut looking forward to moving forward. This was a real bump in the road but it forced me to rest a lot and I think I needed it.

So back to work tomorrow not sure when I will cut probably Wed.

Thanks to everyone here for caring.

Peace and healing to all Sharon

 

Glad your feeling better Sharon.

 

I have a sty in my left eye,I reckon its the benzos making us feel run down.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

Small

[[Sm...]]

Down to 9.5 now.

 

Feel a bit rough but is about day 3 and I always do.

 

Anyway into single digits

Hey Small,

I remember when you first started your taper, look how far you have come. Nice work my friend, below ten is great. Hope you are well. 

 

Hey Nosery,Thanks for the pat on the back,I need it today,Feeling a bit edgy.

 

Just the usual crap that you get in the 1st week of a cut!

 

Hope your feeling good my friend?

 

small.

[[Sm...]]

Down to 9.5 now.

 

Feel a bit rough but is about day 3 and I always do.

 

Anyway into single digits

 

Alright Small!!

Good to see you're in the single digits.

Wishing you many windows and keep going. Hope you're okay otherwise...

Moo

 

Thanks for the support Moo,Kind of need it today.

 

Should be fine in a day or two,Not to bad just the usual benzo blues.

 

Small

[[Sh...]]

Checking in my eyes are better back to work this week sxs are manageable. I'm cutting 1 mg today hoping it won't be too bad I expect to get slammed Sat always day 4 for me. Hope you're all here for me. I'm going on vacation starting tomorrow. Leaving for Atlantic City Monday I hope I'm feeling more stable by then.

The ringing in my ears is getting really bad any suggestions?

Peace and healing Sharon

[[Bi...]]

Hi everyone

Thought I'd post here as have followed Ashton's advice jumping at 0.5. Anyway I jumped on July 4. It was pretty much hell. Nothing for the first two days. Then. Vomiting like there was no tomorrow. Anxiety to the roof. On Sunday (confession) my partner talked me into taking a 'rescue dose'. I did feel as if I was dying. I took .5. Then (partly because I'd publicly said I was jumping and because I know the only way out is to keep going) I haven't taken anything. BBs it was bloody hard. Biggest problem is nausea so went to doc who gave me Stemetil (don't say it's bad don't care). But today Thursday I am feeling better. No sickness at all. Of course I know that it's not over. But this window gives me strength. So happy I am not taking benzos. I have not missed a day of work and this is what has kept me sane. Having to get out of bed and act like a 'normal' I believe has saved me. Otherwise I focus on my anxieties and feel worse. It's been hard and I wake at 3, 4 or 2am writhing with nausea and anxiety. Thank Goodness for my $100 treadmill. Anyway find strength in my positive story. I am seriously OK. And very, very happy that I am taking this path OUT. We are all heroes for finding the strength to keep going through the pain, but it's worth it. Goodness it's really worth it.

Love and courage to you all. 

 

[[Sm...]]

Well done bigmistake.

 

I wish you all the best with your like without benzos.

 

You give us all great hope in reading your post,Please keep us updated.

 

Small

[[Sm...]]

Well this cut has been a shity one,Now at 2 weeks in and just starting to feel average.

 

Im ok and can do things like my exercise and walking the dog I just feel like shit and plenty of anxiety.

 

Any way it should start to pass soon.

 

Take care buddies.

 

Small

[[Bi...]]

Sorry that you are not doing well right now small red . I'm in my morning hell right now but it is lasting less time now. It is so sad that we must do this but we are strong and the end prize is worth it. Have hope. I am already having good moments two weeks off. Stay strong and do anything you can to distract yourself to make time pass. Healing thoughts to you.