Z-Drug Support Group (Lunesta, Imovane, Zimovane, Ambien, Sonata, Zopiclone)

[[He...]]

Lady Den,

 

Congrats on being 27 months! I hope today is a corner turner for you, friend. 

 

Jerry, you are making progress! I know there are many tough days but you are doing all you can do get through it have some enjoyment with your art, your sax and your swimming. Good for you!

 

Jb42 and Sabi,  how are you now?  I hope things are smoothing out for you each day as you go along.  Just know that it can take a while but better things will come.

 

I had a rough few weeks after catching a bad cold.  Once the cold cleared up, I went into a monster wave with loads of burning and tingling and aching and heart palpitations.  I just had two good days and feel pretty decent this morning too so I'm happy to be in a window. 

 

Sending all my best to each of you.

 

Helen

 

Dear Helen

Thanks for asking🙏

I have a really tough time. Sometimes, I survive minute by minute.

There is surely some disorder in my brain. I have constant huge head ache, dizziness, balance problems. Brain feels like it's shaking,  head pressure,  heavy nausea so I think I’m going to pass out. Feeling of constant electrical waves in my brain. Burning acid nervepain in my arms, hands, legs and feet. It's so horrible and so long time.

I try to distract my self. I try to work a little from home, but can't really concentrate on anything. I try to walk every day, but I feel dizzy and nausea when I’m walking. It's sooo hard to believe that this will ever get better. Yes - I know the standard answer to this, that we will heal and that we will get better. But will we really? How knows? Not to be negative, but it's hard for me to keep up hope.

My brain is broken, and my nervous system is on fire, and has been for a long time without any improvements. On the contrary, I feel worse.

I had an appointment with a neurologist today - because in the last month I was beginning to have symptoms of a brain tumor. They investigated me, and concluded that was no sign of that (no MR scan, since I had one a year ago).  I asked if they knew anything about withdrawals - but no - they never heard about it, as expected.

Last night, when I was trying to fall asleep, I had at least 20 brain zaps. My automatic breathing stops, so I have to do it manually, which scares me. When I wake up in the morning, the pain in head, arms and legs is tremendous. The last few mornings, I have been shaking for an hour. My whole body is shaking. Like I have just made a cold turkey from heroin or something (not that I ever tried that). It's so strange that it just continues after so long time.

Hugs and love

Jørgen

 

Ahh Jorgen,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your deep and continuing suffering.  I also took Zopliclone (Eszoplicone the American version) and I took Sonata. Years ago I also had a horrible withdrawal from Xanax.  I did not cold Turkey but I did have every symptom you have listed and then some. It's absolutely miserable. I really didn't feel well for 14 years while on the drugs and during several failed attempts to stop taking the meds.  I've now been off for almost 16 months. I'm still having some symptoms however my situation is improving greatly. My balance was so bad on and off for years that I could barely walk.  I can now walk with relative ease.  I no longer have nearly constant migraine pain or brain zaps.  My gut health is slowly improving as well.  I do still have burning and tingling on my scalp, ears and legs and arms and periodically I have aching and stiffness and heart palpitations. But it's getting better! So instead of telling you, "We all heal", I'll just tell you that I am healing and I was a HEAVY user of the Z drugs for over 15 years and I'm 60 years old now.  My guess is that despite how very horrible you feel right now, you too, will slowly improve. I know you are doing everything you can to heal and doing your best so recognize that in yourself and only focus on what you are doing right now.  No going back. This is a nice support group here so tap into the experiences of people here. I'm pulling for you! 

 

Peace,

Helen

[[...]]

Hi Jerry

Thanks for your reply🙏. Yes - I live in the suburbs of Copenhagen.

I CT'ed from half a pill, since my doctor told me it would be no problem at all. Well, he was wrong. But - on the other hand, I was feeling better one year ago than now. I don’t understand why it shall continue to worsen?

What symptoms did you experience, since you decided to take a slow taper? And good for you that you did.

Hugs Jørgen

[[...]]

Helen,

Thank you for your support again. I really need that and your story about how you are healing🙏

Did you really have all the symptoms, I describe?

I'm now 15 months off, and in the last months it has just gotten so much worse. I don’t understand that at all and I’m scared.

It's morning here now. I am just in my bed having burning acid pain all over. The second I wake up, is just an explosion in pain - and the last days I have been shaking or trembling all over my body.

I am reading around in the posts in this group, but it seems that there are not many with these symptoms...

Hugs, Jørgen

[[Li...]]

Hi Jerry

Thanks for your reply🙏. Yes - I live in the suburbs of Copenhagen.

I CT'ed from half a pill, since my doctor told me it would be no problem at all. Well, he was wrong. But - on the other hand, I was feeling better one year ago than now. I don’t understand why it shall continue to worsen?

What symptoms did you experience, since you decided to take a slow taper? And good for you that you did.

Hugs Jørgen

 

Ha Jørgen, nice that you live in Copenhagen. I studied there from 1999-2000. I lived at Islandsbrygge, close to Amarger and also in Christianshavn. I studied at the Artskole. Is it a nice place you live in? I have mild symptoms; dizziness, depression… my sleep is ok. And grogginess in the morning and noon. But that is probably related to other medication I use…

[[...]]

Hi Jerry

Yes, the place is nice - and 15 min walk to the beach in the southern part of Copenhagen. In 1999 I lived in Vanløse - closer yo the city.

So - seems that you have been relatively lucky with the symptoms, at least compared to me...

[[He...]]

Jb,

 

I'm sorry that the suffering is still so intense.  But yes, I absolutely had all of the symptoms you mentioned. I still get the burning but it's not constant. Today I have the feeling like there is hot oil on my scalp.  But things are becoming less debilitating.  I can function and even enjoy things now because the symptoms are getting milder. Yes, I occasionally have severe symptoms but they don't last for days and days anymore.  I had very bad and constant migraine for years on the meds. It took me several months to stop having the severe headaches. I occasionally have part of a day with a headache now but it is nowhere near as bad as before.  I really hope you start feeling some improvement soon. 

 

Helen

 

PS I also love Denmark! I went for the first time 4 years ago to Copenhagan to visit friends and then to Sweden.

[[La...]]

Jorgen I’m sorry to hear of your troubles. My story is similar as far as feeling better for awhile then getting slammed with worse symptoms. Not all of them became worse but my main ones did. I also felt like you that I won’t heal anymore. I went from walking, riding in the car, driving, going to the store, etc with very few symptoms at first. At the end of my taper all hell broke loose for nearly a year…completely bedridden. Then I improved very much at 10 months. Started walking outside again, riding in the car, going places when I needed to etc. at the end of my 11th month I began driving again very short distance….drove once and the next two days after I got slammed right before my 1 year milestone. I was worse than before with new symptoms added with what I already had as my main ones. I was completely heartbroken. To add fuel to the fire my ex husband of 27 years left me while I was bedridden. We are now divorced. Right when I got slammed again at the 1 year mark, because of the divorce and selling of our home I had to move into my new apartment. It was extremely hard! How can I move completely bedridden and can’t tolerate sitting up, walking or riding in a car? By the grace of God I started getting windows that lasted longer the week before I moved. So I monitored them to see when would be my best time to make a run for my new apartment. With the support of this forum by the God’s grace I got a window after lunch one day. A couple of buddies here was on standby with me by telephone as I made my journey. I made it safely without incident to my new apartment where I am right now. I had a little bit of an uptick in my next wave when I arrived but it wasn’t too bad. Then I had to get used to being in a new environment with a highly sensitive CNS, waves, a child to take care of, noise of neighbors/ vehicles in and out, etc….while going through a divorce and all the drama centered around that. Some time went by I got better and began walking again, sitting up and could push through to care for myself and my daughter. Still couldn’t drive or ride in a car. As soon as I got well enough to began trying again. I started riding in the car in my parking lot. It was going well and BAM I got slammed again last October. Worse than before the last slam. Completely bedridden again and this time I needed a walker and help. I had to hire a caregiver to come everyday and have family help me on the weekends. At that point to be honest….I started thinking I’m NEVER going to heal and I’ve lost my home, my husband, my health, in a new state that I don’t know anyone here, my family was broken, can’t go anywhere, can’t do anything like a dying old lady when I’m only in my 40’s and in danger of losing my child. I honestly didn’t care if I woke up in the morning or not! Abandoned and bedridden…..what kind of life is that? But my buddies here wrapped their virtual arms around me with such love and support. They encouraged me, those who had my number texted or called daily, prayed for me and reminded me that as BAD as things were for me, I would heal. I grabbed on to their words and God’s love. Sure enough after many months I began to improve again. By March I didn’t need a caregiver anymore. I made more improvements until I turned 2 years ( this June). I got slammed again BUT this time it was different. I wasn’t completely bedridden again. I was still able to walk, sit up for short periods and take care of myself. Still can’t ride in a car very far or drive but I was over the moon that I wasn’t back to square one again. That slam PROVED that I have healed a lot. Currently I’m still improving so very slowly. I don’t doubt that I’ll continue to do so. Although so slow and regardless of how it looks….we do heal. You will too. I hope sharing my story helps.

Btw I also have morning dread and night waves. Mostly everyone does. Everything you’re experiencing is common WD symptoms. Time is our friend in this. All of it is unreal and frustrating. Ridiculous and upsetting. The brain heals in its own individual way in its own time. Nothing can speed it up or help it do the repairs. We wait. We distract. We take one day at a time. The only way through this is to go through it. It’s way too slow and mind blowing. It plays mind games and inject all kinds of negative thoughts of doom and gloom. Those are symptoms too. All we can do is do our best to ensure the process as we let our brains do their job. One day soon this will be a memory. We will have a new healed life to enjoy being comfortable in our own bodies again. Trust your brain to heal. Trust the process. Trust in God. That’s what I’m doing daily. If you felt better before, you will again. 

I hope my story helped you.

[[La...]]

Jerry and Helen how wonderful to read your posts. Our Team Z is small but you’re all a great group. Very kind of you to support Jorgen and each other. Jerry I can’t wait until you jump! Wooohooo it’s been a long time coming. Time to get rid of that crumb 

Helen I’m so glad you’re feeling better after that nasty cold gave you a wave. I really hope you feel well enough to get outside in the sunshine today. I went out to get sunlight yesterday for about 10 minutes but didn’t walk because I’m still recuperating from my nasty wave two days ago. This new sensitivity to bass sounds is not fun. I live in an apartment Where people around me play music especially in their cars driving by….boom boom boom so loud! Yesterday evening I had to put in my earplugs and headphones to drown it out so I wouldn’t have an anxiety attack again. This is a new symptom for me. I’ve had sound sensitivity before but not like this….

Jorgen this is what I’m meaning by some of my symptoms are worse as I go along in my healing. They can and do circle back after being gone for awhile. It’s very common.

Well, onward we go, Team Z! Love and hugs! ❤️🤗

[[...]]

Helen, LadyDen and Jerry

Thank you for being so kind. It really means so much to me, in these times where it is hard to keep up hope. Then you bring a little light🙏

Today, I have just been bedridden most of the day. I was desperate for some relief though, so I went to my doctor to ask for some stronger pain killers, which he wouldn't give me, since I don't have a diagnosis, he said. I just wanted a little relief maybe a couple of times each month, so I wouldn't get addicted. I never tried any of these before in my life. But that is how desperate one can get after suffering so badly for a couple of years.

My burning brain and body actually started the day I took my first SSRI, 4 years ago. It was terrible, but doctor said it would go away. It got better, but didn’t go totally away. I started on the AD because of a divorce, so I know what you mean, LadyDen. I was already on sick leave due to stress, and then my partner left me, and boom - I fell off the cliff, starting the AD. After 1.5 years I stopped with a 8 months taper, and it was awful, but bearable. Meanwhile, I had met another woman. She moved on with me during the taper. 5 months after the taper, I got hit with a serious iatrogene infection in my blood. I got in and out of hospitals for two months fighting the infection, and my new partner left me, because I was ill and "wasn’t there for her". Boom, after all this, I went on the AD again, which was a big mistake. After a few months, I began to feel more and more awful. I realized that I might be sick because of the medicine, and I CTed it. After some months, I was still getting more sick and I began to wonder whether it was the zopiclone that made me sick, whivh I had been taking for 5 years. It was there I found out that it was a benzo like medicine, and I couldn’t take one more pill, and then I CTed that one. I now think both meds made me sick and that the benzo influenced my functioning do badly that I ended up with the stress. It's now 19 and 15 months ago I CTed. During that time, I only had a few windows for a few hours, where I felt nearly normalsnd my condition seems to go in the wrong direction and can go from bad to worse, actually.

Thank you for veing there🙏

 

[[...]]

This morning I woke up, even worse than ever. I feel like I have a really really hard flu. Pain all over, and a huge head ache. Both my arms feel numb, as I have been sleeping on them, which I didn’t.

I don't know what to do with my self anymore...

[[La...]]

Jb you’ve been through a lot. And have had 3 different medications you came off of…2 of them CTs so I’m not surprised that you are feeling the way you do even at 15-19 months. This healing is a slow process coupled with all the repairs your brain has to do. It isn’t unheard of that you get new things pop up. That’s what this does…the unwanted cruel gift giver that keeps on giving.  It is a GOOD sign that you are getting windows no matter how short they last. It’s your brain telling you it’s in the thick of repair. I’m sorry your doctor wouldn’t give you a pain medication to give you some relief. So many people come in doctor’s office with an issue and the first thing they do is write prescriptions for benzo, zdrugs, ADs, pain killers or psych meds. They’re favorite is benzos! Most of them are completely clueless what these drugs are doing to people. IMO it’s criminal what they’re doing. Someone like us come in with life issues that are manifesting in the body and they give us pills that damn near kill us damaging our brains. I wish so badly that I’d never listened to that doctor who gave me zolpidem and insisted that I needed it. Oh and insisted that I stay on it then updosed me to a dangerous higher dose. But, I chose not to dwell on it too much. What’s done is done. All I can do now is take one day at a time and let my wonderful brain repair it. If you look at it….every pill we took was a strike to our brains. That will take some time to fix. I’m so grateful that I’m no longer on that poison. Although it takes so long I’d rather it take the average 3 years or so than to be permanently like this. Our lives are centered around our recovery everyday because we have symptoms but we must not let it become our life. This is temporary not my life. If we can, it’s ideal to get involved in something that we can do each day with our hands. If you can sit up, maybe put together a jigsaw puzzle a little bit every day. It’s a great distraction that doesn’t require much effort. Me personally, I paint with acrylics. Jerry is an artist too.

As far as something for pain. Have you tried Tylenol? Or something over the counter? Have you tried meditation? Warm baths?

I hope you feel better today. Hugs 🤗

[[Li...]]

Yes Ladyden is right, my distractions help me. I just played on my tenor saxophone. I go swimming once in two days, so mostly 3 times a week. I play games on my Ipad. In the evening I watch tv. Netflix can be nice too. And I listen a lot to music ( Spotify and Youtube). Two months ago I painted some portraits too. Here you can see some of my work; www.jeroenerkamp.nl

So JB I hope this can help you too,

Hugs  :thumbsup: Jerry

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I have done a lot of distraction previously, but now I am just too sick for anything. However, Netflix is my friend in the evenings. I cant listen to music at the moment.

I any casie - I just found out that I have fever with some virus.

That might explain all the trembling...

 

Jerry - very nice pictures. I am happy you have that in your life.

Hugs Jørgen

[[...]]

LadyDen

Yes, I have been through a lot - and even more...

I don't really get any windows anymore, and the ones I got were few and short. Overall, I just feel, it is getting worse...

Now I am just shaking because of fever...

Hugs Jørgen

 

[[La...]]

Jb you should contact your doctor to inform them that you have a fever. Do you have an at home COVID test? Perhaps ruling that out would be a good start. I agree that if you have a virus then this is why you feel so bad. I hope you feel better soon. Sending you warm healing vibes your way. Also please stay hydrated but don’t overdo it. Please keep us posted.

 

Jerry is a lovely artist! Mine can be found on Pinterest Lady Den’s Gallery. I haven’t posted any recent ones but I’m working on a painting I started this morning.

Jerry I love your art! You’re so very talented my friend. Keep up the good work.

[[...]]

I "only" have 39C/102F in fever. So the doctor wont see me.

And I don't want to sit in a waiting room for 6 hours...

I did a covid test this morning - it was negative, so I think it's just a flu...

Hugs J

[[La...]]

Jb that’s really good that you got a negative result. You’re probably right that it’s a flu or cold. I hope you feel better soon. 🙏🙏🙏🙏  Thanks for the update. Get rest and eat fruit with vitamin c or juice. It will definitely help fight it off.

 

[[...]]

Thanks LadyDen.

I took a new test today, and it was positive. So it's Covid-19. But the fever is not so high today, so it seems not to be severe. Only tired, coughing and a huge head ache - but that is nothing compared to withdrawal.

It's kind of funny, because my three children had covid 5 times in total without me getting it. And now, they are out of the house, I get it... Typical...

 

[[He...]]

Jb,

 

Oh I'm sorry you have Covid.  Good grief! I may take a test tomorrow if I don't feel better because my husband and I have some symptoms again too.  I doubt we have it but it'll be good to check before our oldest son comes home for a visit on Monday.  I hope you get well quickly.  And yes...nothing can be much worse than withdrawal but I'm sorry you have this added to your situation. 

 

Take good care,

Helen

 

[[...]]

Helen

 

Yeah, well it can't be as bad as protracted withdrawal in any way. I already feel a little better today - at least with the fever, so I think it will be ok. Yes, it might be good to take a test, if you feel something is coming up.

 

Jørgen

[[Li...]]

Jørgen and Ladyden,

Thanks for your compliments, that is very kind of you both. Last week my household woman also got covid. Last Thursday I got a temporary replacement woman luckily. Today I went swimming, and yesterday and today I practiced on my tenor and alto saxophone. The tenor is really wonderful instrument, it was made in 1946. So it is 76 years old. It was made in the US. I got it via Ebay.com. Jørgen I really hope your corona will stay mild and will be over soon.

Hugs Jerry  :thumbsup: :smitten:

[[...]]

Jerry - how does one get a temporary replacement woman? 

Wow - sounds like a wonderful sax from 1946. Do you play jazz?

How long time ago did you stop the zdrug? I'm not sure if you told that before?

Hugs, Jørgen

[[...]]

Sorry - I can see it in your sugnature🙏

[[Li...]]

Jerry - how does one get a temporary replacement woman? 

Wow - sounds like a wonderful sax from 1946. Do you play jazz?

How long time ago did you stop the zdrug? I'm not sure if you told that before?

Hugs, Jørgen

 

Ha Jørgen, are you joking about the replacement woman? I get her via the help/cleaning organization she is part off. It is a bit hard for me to find the right words to explain it.

- Yes I play also jazz music, when I have a lesson we play jazz standards once in a while, and also play solos on it.

- I have not finished my taper yet, but I am close to the finish line, I have a crumb left to do.

Hugs, Jeroen

[[La...]]

Morning hugs Team Z. 

Jorgen I’m sorry you have COVID. I hope it remains mild and you get better soon. You probably got it from when you were out going to the doctor? Sending you get well wishes.

 

Helen I hope you don’t have it. Please let me know. Enjoy your Sunday. Get well wishes to you too.

 

Jerry that instrument sounds lovely. I’m sure you are very careful with it. Keep up the playing. Are you planning on playing publicly anytime soon?

 

❤️🤗 to everyone.