Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Hope,

 

I hope you are feeling better. I see you are doing a micro taper. I have come to the final conclusion that I cannot do a daily micro taper without intermittent holds I am experiencing symptoms in which I should have held last week and now I have insomnia and IBS symptoms. Do you taper a certain number of days and then hold a certain number of days? Thank you

[[Ho...]]

Hope,

 

I hope you are feeling better. I see you are doing a micro taper. I have come to the final conclusion that I cannot do a daily micro taper without intermittent holds I am experiencing symptoms in which I should have held last week and now I have insomnia and IBS symptoms. Do you taper a certain number of days and then hold a certain number of days? Thank you

 

I just started so really have idea what I'm doing with the microtaper. I cut 0.25 mg in a little over 2 weeks using a c/c/h pattern but symptoms built up and I held for a week. I'm cutting 0.002 g of pill weight on cut days. I'm going to resume with cutting every other day. If it's not any better I may go back to cut and hold. I seem to have symptoms no matter what I do.

[[ka...]]

Hope,

 

I hope you are feeling better. I see you are doing a micro taper. I have come to the final conclusion that I cannot do a daily micro taper without intermittent holds I am experiencing symptoms in which I should have held last week and now I have insomnia and IBS symptoms. Do you taper a certain number of days and then hold a certain number of days? Thank you

 

I just started so really have idea what I'm doing with the microtaper. I cut 0.25 mg in a little over 2 weeks using a c/c/h pattern but symptoms built up and I held for a week. I'm cutting 0.002 g of pill weight on cut days. I'm going to resume with cutting every other day. If it's not any better I may go back to cut and hold. I seem to have symptoms no matter what I do.

Ugh me too HOPE & i just don't want to slow down this any more than I have already. However, this seems to be an ever evolving tapering process for me. So i get to figure this out as I plug along. But that is what we will do! 

[[Ma...]]

A buddy in the long hold group said a common pattern is 10 on and 10 off. I'm disappointed too. I really thought I could do a dlmt at a low taper rate daily. But after round 4, I realized symptom get out of hand if I don't build in holds. This is a new and disappointing realization. But I was on a Benzo for 25 years.  So 2 or more years getting off is what I will have to do.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hope,

 

I hope you are feeling better. I see you are doing a micro taper. I have come to the final conclusion that I cannot do a daily micro taper without intermittent holds I am experiencing symptoms in which I should have held last week and now I have insomnia and IBS symptoms. Do you taper a certain number of days and then hold a certain number of days? Thank you

 

I just started so really have idea what I'm doing with the microtaper. I cut 0.25 mg in a little over 2 weeks using a c/c/h pattern but symptoms built up and I held for a week. I'm cutting 0.002 g of pill weight on cut days. I'm going to resume with cutting every other day. If it's not any better I may go back to cut and hold. I seem to have symptoms no matter what I do.

Ugh me too HOPE & i just don't want to slow down this any more than I have already. However, this seems to be an ever evolving tapering process for me. So i get to figure this out as I plug along. But that is what we will do! 

 

I'm with you guys with "symptoms no matter what" . Yesterday's  reprieve was short lived. 😕  Will hold for a few days and let this calm.

 

Marija

[[In...]]

I take 5 mg and 146ml 3x a day of Valium.  I cannot remember if I took my morning 5mg pill.  I usually put them in my pill box so I don't forget, but I fell asleep early and didn't.  Should I take an extra pill in case?  Should I take half of one? 10%?  Today is my son's birthday party, so I'm super stressed out.  I *think* I took it, but really can't remember and don't want to be in hell of a 33< cut catches up to me.  Please help.  Today's already sucks. Lol.  Thank you!

[[Le...]]

I've done this myself. I was always advised to take the "possible" missed dose. A one time updose will not harm you, but skipping a dose could cause problems. It will be OK 

[[...]]

Marija- you may have posted this before but in what way was your updose to 5 mg unsuccessful? Like did it give you absolutely no relief at all? Or not enough relief to make it worth it? How long did you then stay at 5 mg before cutting again?

 

I'm so conflicted about whether to updose or not. I'm still holding for almost 6 wks now and bad sxs for almost 5 wks. It's getting better but still not baseline and my CNS is still so fragile. I just don't know how long to wait. I was doing so well a couple months ago - so crazy how easily and quickly this thing can go downhill. I wish there was an "answer."!

[[Ho...]]

Marija- you may have posted this before but in what way was your updose to 5 mg unsuccessful? Like did it give you absolutely no relief at all? Or not enough relief to make it worth it? How long did you then stay at 5 mg before cutting again?

 

I'm so conflicted about whether to updose or not. I'm still holding for almost 6 wks now and bad sxs for almost 5 wks. It's getting better but still not baseline and my CNS is still so fragile. I just don't know how long to wait. I was doing so well a couple months ago - so crazy how easily and quickly this thing can go downhill. I wish there was an "answer."!

 

Hold as long as you feel like you are getting improvement, and once you feel like you have plateaued, I would cut. I wouldn't bother updosing and backtracking. I don't think it will buy you anything. but that's just me.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Marija- you may have posted this before but in what way was your updose to 5 mg unsuccessful? Like did it give you absolutely no relief at all? Or not enough relief to make it worth it? How long did you then stay at 5 mg before cutting again?

 

I'm so conflicted about whether to updose or not. I'm still holding for almost 6 wks now and bad sxs for almost 5 wks. It's getting better but still not baseline and my CNS is still so fragile. I just don't know how long to wait. I was doing so well a couple months ago - so crazy how easily and quickly this thing can go downhill. I wish there was an "answer."!

 

Libr,

I'm in agreement with Hope.

 

My experience was the updose did not provide immediate relief nor enough notable longer term relief.  And, the descend back to 4 mg was much more difficult the second time around. 

I do not understand why.

I held for 6 weeks. I will never know if holding for months would have been successful; I wasn't wanting to try that option but read that several people find improvements this way.

 

Personally, I would hold long enough to feel "stable" then slowly move forward. But, only if you are not in a crisis situation. If you feel unable to cope with your current symptoms, carefully consider all options.

 

I wish there was one answer, too. So much of this is trial and error.

 

Marija

 

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

Thanks Hope and Marija. Idk anymore what constitutes crisis situation. This whole thing is one big crisis situation. And yes it is trial and error. I feel so lonely in this process.  I admire the strength you all have. There has got to be a better way to do this! Hope, are your sxs on MT better than C/h or has it pretty much been the same? I know you held but it was for a short time so I hope that means you're doing ok.

[[Ho...]]

Thanks Hope and Marija. Idk anymore what constitutes crisis situation. This whole thing is one big crisis situation. And yes it is trial and error. I feel so lonely in this process.  I admire the strength you all have. There has got to be a better way to do this! Hope, are your sxs on MT better than C/h or has it pretty much been the same? I know you held but it was for a short time so I hope that means you're doing ok.

 

Libr,

 

I'm not finding a huge difference with microtaper. I am down to 6.6675 mg (but who is counting) and I'm crashing again and need to hold. I probably went too fast at first, but even considering that I just don't think there's any way out for me without symptoms. When I get to 6.5 I'm probably going to go back to cut and hold. We are not strong, we do this because there is no other choice. It just sucks, sucks, sucks! As far as what constitutes a crisis, your definition will change as you go. Mine has. Unfortunately there is no better way. We have to keep chipping away, that's all we can do. One day we will be off this crap and healed. It won't be easy, but we will get there. Hang in there! 

 

Hope

[[...]]

Thanks again Hope. This sucks is quite the understatement!!  Yes, I know we just have to keep working at this....but I have to admit that today my head was filled with the alternative.

I know, hang in there... I dream of the day this is over. That day will arrive, right?

 

[[Ki...]]

Hope is right. We are not strong. We either do this or we dont and the dont has only two outcomes, both bad, so we just taper knowing eventually we will get off it and be better. My best friend keeps saying " I dont know how you do this I dont think I could do that"- as if we have a choice in it. But with a great support group and guidance from those who have walked this path before us at least we have options on how we might have a better outcome. It may not be easy but it can be done with patience🐌

[[Ho...]]

Thanks again Hope. This sucks is quite the understatement!!  Yes, I know we just have to keep working at this....but I have to admit that today my head was filled with the alternative.

I know, hang in there... I dream of the day this is over. That day will arrive, right?

 

Lol libr I would rather use of large mass of expletives to fully describe the situation but then I would probably get kicked off the boards. So sucks will have to do. The day will come I promise. So many times I thought I was a goner but yet I am still here. If the past predicts the future, I will make it and so will you. 

[[...]]

Ok at our cruise party, we will blast the expletives!!

Thanks too Kitty. Yes many have walked our path and come out on the other side.

I don't want others to be miserable but I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't feel "strong" going thru this. Yes, I'm learning life lessons but no the lessons are not worth the agony!

Ok, so we continue onward and forward. Onward and forward!

 

My little girl finished opening all her presents today. (Turned 5). Her fav was a singing card from her best friend. I love the simpleness of this age...

 

Hugs to all. 

[[...]]

Marija- you may have posted this before but in what way was your updose to 5 mg unsuccessful? Like did it give you absolutely no relief at all? Or not enough relief to make it worth it? How long did you then stay at 5 mg before cutting again?

 

I'm so conflicted about whether to updose or not. I'm still holding for almost 6 wks now and bad sxs for almost 5 wks. It's getting better but still not baseline and my CNS is still so fragile. I just don't know how long to wait. I was doing so well a couple months ago - so crazy how easily and quickly this thing can go downhill. I wish there was an "answer."!

 

Hi libr,

I so understand how you feel .... Being really fragile . I can't stand it, it feels so awful, like I'll break. But I haven't yet! I've been holding for 7 months now, well, except for 1/4 mg of V reduction over that time period. I just got to where I knew I couldn't taper more , I have to take care of myself and as it is , I still get days where I can't walk. And then another day I can go for a long walk ! So confusing!

 

I do feel stronger in general though . I'm kinda hoping I can get my strength back enough that I feel ready to taper again. I've reached that place before , and made small cuts . I still get WDs from very small cuts . I guess I've plateaued somewhat , but I just feel way too fragile still. So , for now I'm holding to see what happens .

I don't think 5 weeks is very long to hold, if I were in your shoes I'd give it a bit more time, til you feel ready. For me there's an emotional aspect , where I need to feel ready, strong enough that I can move forwards , even  knowing it may be difficult .

I might not necessarily be symptom free , but I do want to feel more stable in my CNS.

I have had a few better days , and they are most welcome! I wouldn't have had them without holding , I'm sure of that.

MiYu

[[po...]]

I'm looking for advice or guidance.

After reinstating to Liquid Diazepam 5mg in February I have only made it to 4.5mg.  I was taking it VERY slow and I felt good!  I have a 1ml syringe divided into .01 increments.  I went down.02 more a few weeks ago and felt good so lowered .05 more thinking I'm doing good.  2 days later muscle spasms, loud ears ringing, high anxiety and jelly legs.  So I went back to my dose that was just .02 shy of 4.5 mg.  It's been 15 days and symptoms are getting worse.  Why am i not leveling out?  Did I mess everything up by taking that little jump?  Will I eventually level out??  Because its getting worse not better.  I'm a mom of two young kids.  I don't know if I can go through the acute symptoms again! 

Do you think I should update or hold?  I need advice from people who have experienced this in their taper.

[[HO...]]

Definitely hold. Updose? I did. I'm holding. Let's see what others say? I'm seeing symptoms improved be very slowly.

[[po...]]

HOPE

Thank you for responding!!  This drug is going to ruin me!  Some days I think I should just say screw and stay on for the rest of my life.  I hope more people respond.  Hold or updose?? 

 

[[Ho...]]

HOPE

Thank you for responding!!  This drug is going to ruin me!  Some days I think I should just say screw and stay on for the rest of my life.  I hope more people respond.  Hold or updose??

 

I vote for hold if you can tolerate your symptoms. It has taken me up to 4-6 weeks to stabilize on bad cuts but you do eventually stabilize.

[[Ki...]]

And that was not a " little" cut- it may be little for some but that amount would do me in! Hopefully after a hold your own chemistry will have time to catch up to that new dose. Im still paying for an unintentional " cut" I did not mean to take and I can really tell the difference in a smooth microtaper with holds- by no means symptom free but I can live my life- and taking a bigger than usual bite out of a dose. Nasty stuff. Hopefully it wont be too long before you even out!

[[so...]]

Hey everyone! For those who remember me, I am five months post-jump now and I just posted an update in this thread:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=180632.msg2388464#msg2388464

 

Overall, I'm doing pretty well. I'm facing a little bit of a health crisis, but I'm getting through it pretty well. I think the contrast from my CT scan has triggered a return of my WD symptoms, but not all of them, and not too bad so far. It could just be what was meant to happen at the five month mark, but it happened the same day that I had the scan, so I don't know.

 

I'm so far behind on this thread at this point that catching up would be quite the task, but if you remember me, please do shoot me a message or reply to this and let me know how you are doing! I would love to hear your updates. I hope everyone is doing well!

 

[[...]]

I'm looking for advice or guidance.

After reinstating to Liquid Diazepam 5mg in February I have only made it to 4.5mg.  I was taking it VERY slow and I felt good!  I have a 1ml syringe divided into .01 increments.  I went down.02 more a few weeks ago and felt good so lowered .05 more thinking I'm doing good.  2 days later muscle spasms, loud ears ringing, high anxiety and jelly legs.  So I went back to my dose that was just .02 shy of 4.5 mg.  It's been 15 days and symptoms are getting worse.  Why am i not leveling out?  Did I mess everything up by taking that little jump?  Will I eventually level out??  Because its getting worse not better.  I'm a mom of two young kids.  I don't know if I can go through the acute symptoms again! 

Do you think I should update or hold?  I need advice from people who have experienced this in their taper.

 

Pooky, sorry your symptoms are getting worse.... If it helps, I've been mostly holding since last October ! I have tapered 1/4 mg of Valium from 8-1/4 in 7 months, and I'm still mostly in waves . I have improved  and can leave the house more often , but my nervous system is still so fragile I daren't cut yet.

So , my advice would be HOLD.....for as long as it takes to stabilize . I never thought it would take me this long , and it's unlikely you will need to hold this long(!) . I just got to where my symptoms were intolerable and I knew I couldn't cut , and I'm still in that place . Last try was 1/10th of 1/4 mg , it was the final bit of my 1/4 mg , and that was end of March . I still haven't recovered , so , I wouldn't worry , you'll get there, just take your time and cut when you feel ready.

MiYu

[[bu...]]

 

So , my advice would be HOLD.....for as long as it takes to stabilize . I never thought it would take me this long , and it's unlikely you will need to hold this long(!) . I just got to where my symptoms were intolerable and I knew I couldn't cut , and I'm still in that place . Last try was 1/10th of 1/4 mg , it was the final bit of my 1/4 mg , and that was end of March . I still haven't recovered , so , I wouldn't worry , you'll get there, just take your time and cut when you feel ready.

MiYu

 

I know that long holds seem to be the accepted wisdom here, but every now and then I need to point out that probably really doesn't make a lot of sense.

 

Withdrawal symptoms emerge because there is a difference in the amount of benzo the body "needs", and the amount you are currently feeding it.  So, yeah, you can wait it out and be miserable while you wait for your body to "catch up", but it seems a lot more logical to just updose to satisfy the body's needs, stabilize, then restart your taper.

 

If you become symptomatic and a 10-14 day hold has not resolved the  sxs, I would go back to the last dose I felt OK .  Chances are this will actually allow you to finish your taper sooner.