The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

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Hi Baddove,

Thank you again for your kind words.  They mean alot to me. 

 

I am wondering if the issues with my hip and leg are being amplified due to tapering and wd.  I have had arthritis in my back for a while and do think the xanax has made it worse as it has so many other medical issues  I have had.

 

Really proud of you for staying with the bike. Don't beat yourself up when you skip it. We have gotten into a very bad habit of being housed bound and inactive. And it's not our fault. It is Covid, and chaos and constant stress financially , and having to completely  abandon life as we knew it. Plus, life stress. You have so many, I must to remind you how deeply I care about your pain.

Thank you.  I did get on the bike twice a couple days ago and am planning to today too.  It does help.  If for no other reason, I feel like I am doing something good for myself.  Being house bound has been hard but I am glad my husband and I have such a strong relationship so we are not getting on each others nerves.  I appreciate your caring deeply about my pain.  I feel the same about you.  I want to be able to help you so badly.  I keep you in my daily prayers. 

 

The past year has been one of dread, hopelessness, stress, isolation, and despair for almost everyone world wide to some extent. 2020 broke us. We are not designed to cope with so much horror, no matter what.  I totally agree.  Who knew how bad things would get in 2020 !!  We have done as well as could be expected and like you say, add all the regular life problems that come anyway and add on a pandemic and there has been so much hopelessness and stress and for sure isolation.  I pray 2021 will be better for everyone.

 

Good for you about going to your physical therapist next week - that is great.  Although I am sure it is difficult to do something you have not done in months.  But you are so right, we have to do whatever we can to get through ALL of this.  I am happy for you about your going to the gym.  I hope you felt better after you went.

 

I too am one of those that has been house bound and am trying to fix that but with covid getting worse around here and my husband being at very high risk, we are still planning to stay in as much as we can.  We are however, planning to go to feed the fish at the park down the street from us on Tuesday as it is supposed to be 70 degrees here that day.  We do sit on our screened in porch every day, multiple times a day and do enjoy some wildlife and fresh air.  It is nice to be outside even if we are not out and about.  We are still waiting for him to be able to get vaccinated and I will feel much better when he does.  I am so sorry your son got covid and that you have lost 2 people in your life from it.  That is so sad.

 

I am also sorry for you and all those affected by the fires last year.  I remember watching the news about them and praying. 

 

I like what you said about if we all start somewhere, commit to it and move forward - That is where I am at this point.  As you said - the crap from 2020 just kept coming and when at the end of December, my nephew killing himself - that was the straw that broke the camels back.  But - I am getting through it day by day and even though the pain will never go away and I will miss him always, I have to continue to live and be the best person I can be.  I do not believe it is God's plan for me or anyone - to be sad and miserable. 

 

I love your encouragement and you have such relevant things to say and I always love to read your post. 

 

I predict this is going to be a better year and you are right - we all have to make a commitment to make it better.  I plan to enjoy what we have each and every day.  We are far from done with this pandemic but we can get through it.  We also will get off this drug that like the pandemic has taken so much away from us.  Some things we have a choice in and some we just have to do the best we can with. Being positive is a big part of how things will go for all of us. 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia 

 

 

 

 

[[ba...]]

You are my sister 

[[to...]]

You are my sister 

 

Being your sister is an honor!  :angel:

[[Ha...]]

Baddove- I envy your motivation to keep yourself moving. I am also looking for that motivation to get myself out of the house. First two months off was pretty pleasant. Third month started with very bad GI and got homebound until now. I envy people staying outdoor

[[se...]]

Agreed!

[[gi...]]

I think a lot of you, too, Julia. As I posted somewhere else, I think the covid thread, you have been through the ringer.

 

For me, the xanax only keeps me from WD and it has been this way for quite some time.  I do not remember exactly how long it has been that it had any real benefit to me other than holding WD at bay.

 

Absolutely the truth according to my pdoc. And, I trust your experience as well.

 

I have known other people to stay housebound, and within a month or five were much worse not only in regards to wd, but muscle atrophy and tightening. One lady sent me a pic of her feet and it was not good.

 

Cardiac exercise reduces glutamine. And, glutamine is not our friend. This is the best thing we can do for ourselves, if nothing else. Sweat it out, keep the muscles loose. In whatever form or combo of activities is both cardiac as well as stretching.  I still have far to go in this area, but I began at the start of my last cut.

 

Really proud of you for staying with the bike. Don't beat yourself up when you skip it. We have gotten into a very bad habit of being housed bound and inactive. And it's not our fault. It is Covid, and chaos and constant stress financially , and having to completely  abandon life as we knew it. Plus, life stress. You have so many, I must to remind you how deeply I care about your pain. 

 

The past year has been one of dread, hopelessness, stress, isolation, and despair for almost everyone world wide to some extent. 2020 broke us. We are not designed to cope with so much horror, no matter what.

 

[...]

The Better days are already here. We  need to be part of them.

 

This ^^^^. I feel the same way, I don’t think I take Xanax for anxiety anymore, just twice a day when the w/d starts to get unbearable. I’ve been holding for a while at 1mg daily but am hesitant to make even small cuts when everything else is so unstable. Good luck to all of you! I hope everyone is hanging in there. xo

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Hi gildthelily, I completely understand.  I had a hard time going from 1.125 to 1.0 and then once I got to below 1 mg. I started getting better.  Of course with each cut there are issues but I found that once I started doing cuts of .0625  the WD is not as bad and does not last as long. 

Xanax turned on me really bad at 2.75 mg but the pdoc kept raising my dose thinking I needed more meds but that was not so.  I was up to 3.5 -4 mg a day and was still having stroke and heart attack symptoms.  That is when I started looking on the internet for help.  I found BB January 2019 and started tapering and have been ever since.  I have had alot of symptoms from WD but I no longer have the stroke and heart attack symptoms.  I sometimes still have chest pressure and other things but I can deal with them at this point.

Take care.

Julia

[[po...]]

Good afternoon baddove (you are the only one I know here) and to everyone. I am surely the worst poster here. Chiefly because I stayed a little in touch with my Ativan club and I finally ditched that one Benzo last May. So, my second and last BB is now done. I went from 1 mg Xanax to 0 mg in 8 mo, 1 wk, and 2 days. I went very slow to avoid any W/D symptoms. I did have to restart in the beginning as I did not allow my body to heal fully after the Ativan came to end, but after that I was ok. I must be only the person on BB to be taking 2 Benzos just for sleep. I slept 100% last night I think it entirely because I did a 360% turn in my sleep hygiene and that is all it took! On my last dose of Ativan, I had crumbs I could barely see (time to quit) and that was the way it was on Feb 4th three days ago - mere crumbles I could no longer weigh (time to quit). I think at that point it was all a placebo effect. I cannot believe it is all over. To taper off 4mg of Ativan it took me 1 yr. 7wks, and 4 days. This past year was not good, but I did have lots of blessings too, and I am fortunate in life in many ways. I work from home 24/7 and next month I will have been home an entire year. This past summer I worked so hard it took a toll on me. I began to forget things and totally missed my husband's birthday even when he gave me multiple signs. I was devastated. You are not with someone you love dearly for just over 20 years and miss their birthday. My best friend said to me, "you better WTFU and get your act together," which I did. I only got back to the gym seriously this past December after I realized how deconditioned I was. At the end of December, we went to Mexico for 10 days. I took my first surfing lesson (I actually got up in my first hour for about 5 seconds). My coach was throwing his hands up in joy that he amazingly got a 59-year-old (same age as Obama mind you) up on his board in 1 hr (which he promised me).  In Mexico, we had a remote house on the beach and all restaurants were walk up from the sand, so there was 100% ventilation. We felt very safe. And at the Mexico City airport, practically everyone had a mask and shield. As an RN, I find mask deniers and "liberty lovers" a danger to our society and if I had my way (maybe I am stretching it here, perhaps), I would send them to the back of the vaccine line. I will await my turn to get my vaccine - despite my underlying conditions, I am going to take my turn. It is snowing here in Brooklyn today (again) and after that massive storm on Monday.  I like baddove's suggestion- let's aim for a better year, try and do things to take care of ourselves more, and be kinder to ourselves. Take care. Powerball. 

[[ba...]]

Sounds good powerball. I am very pleased at your progress. You are making good choices. Even people not on meds forget birthdays and anniversaries, don't be so hard on yourself.

 

I am having a horrible time, so not very active.

 

However, wanted to reply to your post. Good to hear from you.

[[po...]]

Friday Feb 5th I just quit. I was at 0.190 mg and I just could not figure out how to cut it in half any further on my micro-scale. What I saw was dusts of crumbs anyway.

 

My journey from 1.0 mg to ZERO was 8 mo., 1 wk and 1 day.

 

First night of sleep, not very good. What did I expect? Then nights - 2-4 - FAB, WTF!! I could not believe it. I took Ativan and Xanax both for sleep, so this was a big deal for me. Then 2 nights bad (one was all job stress) and last night really good.

 

On the night I quit, I told my psy that I wanted to reduce my Lamotrigine (he had me on this too slow taper) because I had previously convinced him that my Lamotrigine and Depakote had an almost equal mechanism of action. He said, "You are doing so well, we must stand down until you are off the Xanax." So, I just quit. I am lucky to have a job that gives us off both Lincoln's and President's Day so 4 -day weekend here I come. I shall pray for everyone here and those who may by the grace of God find their way here. Benzobuddies saved my life. Nobody would help me. Nobody. Psys know how to put you on, but completely useless to get you off. Good evening. 

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Powerball that is fantastic! I'm so happy for you!! You've been through a lot and you've done great!! That's awesome about sleeping. I pray you continue to do well and continue healing. It's great to see another success. I'll be so happy to be where you are. I'm getting there, a little more than .5mg to go. I know this will be my year to be off Xanax too.

God Bless and enjoy every day.

Hugs,

Julia

[[ba...]]

Powerball, your free!

 

Hopefully your post taper experience is not  too hard. Congrats on what you accomplished. Amazing

[[Rc...]]

I am a 70 year old man suffering from Sjogrens, multiple autoimmune diseases, depression, migraines, Tinnitus and anxiety. I am, also on a 3-4 month program to taper off of a few years of .75mg Xanax per day.  For one month before I started weaning I upped the dose to 1mg. Then I decided I wanted away from this poison.  The Docs are experienced, knowledgeable, helpful and caring.  They have me on a schedule that reduces .125mg every two weeks. However, nothing is etched in stone. I am willing to adjust and to let time pass.  I am 3 weeks into this. Next week I am scheduled to reduce to .625. We will see.

 

I meditate, walk briskly, practice Acceptance and CBT.  It all helps. The big problem is that I am in a lot of pain from neurology and migraines. It is often difficult to know whether jitters are from the taper, my anxiety, being tired of hurting and so on.

 

So,,,,,, I let time pass and accept what I am experiencing.

 

Best to all,

 

Rcristal

[[Rc...]]

One more thing,,,,,

 

The Ashton Manual does not appear to have anything to offer manual wise as regards a tapering schedule for low dose users of Xanax.  Perhaps it is there and I missed it. I realize that even at a lower dose long term users need a slow taper. However, I am curious if there is any input or proposed schedule in the manual.

 

Any thoughts are most welcomed,

 

Rcristal

[[Pa...]]

One more thing,,,,,

 

The Ashton Manual does not appear to have anything to offer manual wise as regards a tapering schedule for low dose users of Xanax.  Perhaps it is there and I missed it. I realize that even at a lower dose long term users need a slow taper. However, I am curious if there is any input or proposed schedule in the manual.

 

Any thoughts are most welcomed,

 

Rcristal

 

There isn't but we can help you work one out.

[[La...]]

Hello

I was tapering 1.5 mg of xanax which i took for a month. Its been month 4 of my tapering. I started xanax due to a severe adverse reaction to an SSRI inducing serotonin toxicity. The tapering was very rough due to my already sensitized nervous system. But now that i am at 0.37 mg of xanax (the last cut was from .45 mg to 3.7 mg. Severe withdrawal symptoms caught me up including tingling burning, panic, horrible anxiety, depression, rigidity in muscles and many others... But the problem is the withdrawal symptoms are getting worse as i am holding longer. Its been 16 day of my hold and for the past 3 days i am bedridden and worst than previous days.

 

Whenever i made a reduction even more than 10% my worst days were from 3 to 5 and then things started to settle down. At day 7 i was 80% back to normal. But this reduction from 0.45 to 0.37, day 3 to 5 were quite managable. But after that everthing started to decline and is declining continuously. At day 16 today i am a wreck.

 

Could this be because of tolerance withdrawal?

Or it could be due to the severe withdrawal symptoms my body is unable to catch up with?

 

As i am taking 0.37 mg 6x a day to ward off interdose withdrawals. Could this be the reason behi d my deterioration? As 0.37/6 is such a small amount causing paradoxical effect on my nervois system?

 

With this kind of deterioration i do not think i can stabilize even if i hold for months. Its getting worse and worse. Ppease help.

 

[[ba...]]

I'm just going to suggest it. Go back to your previous dose. If you are  in agony for 16 days, that is not helping you taper. It's just pain.

Wait until your stable, then try again.

 

It does get really hard at the end.

[[se...]]

Lastisland,

 

I believe your cuts are catching up to you.  I started at .5mg Xanax and it has taken 12 months to come down to .25.  I am feeling every cut, some weeks are worse than others.  You need time to heal.  Maybe as Baddove suggested, a slight dose up to see if it helps?

 

My heart goes out to you.  Another buddie here reduced 2mg down to .5mg Xanax in one year and was hit terribly as well.  She has been holding now for a couple of months and hopes to resume mid spring.

 

Hang in there, I think things will get better in a month or so.  You can always begin again, try to listen to your body and not rush the process.

[[Wo...]]

How is everyone doing? Seasalt how are you!!  You are doing so good! You are down to 0.25! 

[[Di...]]

Yay Seasalt .25 mg is wonderful!!!  You have worked so hard!!!  I am having to sit on my dose for a bit having a lot of anxiety waiting to feel better so I can continue even more slowly.  I was having a hard time accepting the fact that I can't hurry my taper Pamster helped me so much.

Hang in there you're doing great!

[[Wo...]]

You’re doing so well too Dianedeedee!! 

[[Di...]]

Wonderwoman thank you it sure is a hard road.  You are doing awesome so close to the end. 

[[se...]]

The good news is we are all making progress, at the end of the day it is all that matters.

[[La...]]

I reduced my dosage to 0.32 from 0.37 and majority of symptoms subsided. Now i am back to functional from bedridden. These drugs are beyond my understanding. I am at my wits end.... 

[[Di...]]

Lastisland glad you feel better...I know they sure dont make sense!