The Xanax Club, Let Us Know How You Are Feeling Today

[[ti...]]

I may have been CT, but I appreciate my little Xanax family here. I posted in Celebrations - feel free to read and God bless you all!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=157715.0

looking back at how far you have  came are you glad you went ct?

[[ti...]]

WOW did you say 45 months?

 

Sure did.....September 10 will be 4 yrs. I would not recommend a c/t from any dose if one was on it long term, such as I was.

you are so strong.  congrats.  Sleep will find you my friend.

[[La...]]

Thank you Timebomb, it's getting there. A couple things that help me with sleep are milk and honey and Benadryl. Now that I've begun the niacin, it's going from 4-5 hrs to 4-6 hrs with a 7 hr night last night. This niacin is really making a difference.

[[ti...]]

I cannot figure this out but this is 3rd day from dropping from 2.5 to 2 mg xanax a day and with the exception of not falling asleep till 2 am last night i feel zero wd symptoms.  Has anyone else ever made such a large cut of xanax and not feel any negative effects on the 3rd day?  Usually the 3rd and 4th days are worst.  I feel good yo and its only getting better.  All my positive vibes and super human will power goes out to all of you struggling.  Its very important that all of you realize xanax wd is 75% psychological an addiction specialist told me that and i kinda doubted its validity but is true. 

[[Fl...]]

I haven't been here in a while, and lately...I have felt the need to come back...as I am needing support.

 

I've tapered from 2.5 and today I'm at 1.42mg (liquid taper)

 

My daughter has been sick with a virus and now I have it...it's making my SX's worse.

 

Feel like I want to cry/scream/punch something/isolate to protect my family from ME    That's not a good feeling....at all.

 

I keep praying for a window...not even a huge one...just a tiny little window that will allow me to re-group and continue moving forward.

 

At this time...I feel alone 

 

FB

[[on...]]

Hang in there FluterByee- these bad waves do pass ...when you are in one it seems hopeless and you want to quit- I had  a really bad one  two days ago - I broke down sobbing- wasn't sure I could make it- the feeling of desperation is overwhelming-  but today I feel better. You will get a window or improvement soon too .  I am free of xanax after 30 years  and you will be free  too.

[[Fl...]]

Hang in there FluterByee- these bad waves do pass ...when you are in one it seems hopeless and you want to quit- I had  a really bad one  two days ago - I broke down sobbing- wasn't sure I could make it- the feeling of desperation is overwhelming-  but today I feel better. You will get a window or improvement soon too .  I am free of xanax after 30 years  and you will be free  too.

Oh my goodness...you are free! What MUSIC to my ears.

What a great word *DESPERATION*! That is how I'm feeling! Desperate to stop this madness and be free, and oh to feel PEACE and some JOY...or how about some *SERENITY*!

I'm so glad you are feeling better. I will hope that tomorrow brings me some peace.

Thank you so much for your reply!

Fluter 

[[ba...]]

Newbie Here. 53 year old woman with severe anxiety disorder and some PTSD. I have been on xanax 2 years, also seroquel. I have hated the xanax the entire time. My dose started at 3 mg, and has grown to a minimum of 5.5 daily. I tried numerous tapers, mostly out of anger, and would wait 6 or 7 hours without a med, or cut out an entire dose for a while. I did not know what I was doing. This time, I educated myself first. I shared the information with my therapist (He is not my prescribing doc,) and he agreed to work with me through this. His hesitation was because of the radical quits I have done before. This time, I will go slow, I will titrate down until I adjust, and even allow myself to go up a bit if its a bad day. No strict rules.

 

Some days I needed less, some more, and I am sure as my anxiety waxes and wanes, that will hold true, so I accept that.

 

I am in day 5 of my goal of not going over 5 mg a day. Had some horrendous episodes and attacks. I am hesitant to commit to anything as I dose, because sometimes the dose is awful. I am re-learning how to live with xanax while doing the taper. I started with a max of 5 mg, which is 10%. I plan to slow down to 5% after this. I am in no hurry to make the next cut, if it takes a month before I reduce again, that is ok. I know I will have days when I go under 5, and some where I bump over a bit, it's the nature of anxiety.

 

Experienced horrifying rebounds, several massive attacks that surpassed attacks I have had before, and pretty constant brain fog. I am not committing to any lunch dates, trips, or activities as I learn how to deal with this. If I take a dose and it is behaving within reason, I go ahead and resume my regular activities. I am very athletic, an avid long distance bicyclist, and I work at the Botanic Gardens. I take my day and actions dose by dose.

 

I wrote a mission statement I wish to share (It is something I hang onto when it gets awful, or I want to get frustrated)

 

Your reading your anxiety better, and discovering you can tolerate more than you thought.

You have also learned to accept horrible patches and just let them be. Acceptance.

Your doing good. Your doing as much as you can on a heightened state of anguish, you are still getting many things done.

You have learned when to just stay in and retreat while the process rages when that is the best option.

Some bad times are ahead, but they were there before the taper.

This is the long game, the big picture and taking control.

The process IS an ordeal, accept.

Think of it like recovery from chemo, a battle against chronic painful disease, only the outcome is life, not death.

It's getting your life back, not loosing it.

 

I am just starting, just learning to live within this new experience of controlled withdraw.

 

Just wanted to introduce myself in this forum, and let you know a bit about me. Thank you for being here, I am sure I will be active here through the process. Thanks, and Zen to all.

 

 

 

[[on...]]

Welcome to the club you never wanted to join - the xanax withdrawal club-  but we all have one common enemy- XANAX!  You mission statement is very insightful. thanks

[[Fl...]]

Working on Re-training my brain to hold longer...if need be.

 

I would love to get some enjoyment out of my life, and stop walking around day to day in AUTO-PILOT and basically feeling ticked off about everything 

 

FB 

 

 

[[ba...]]

As a newbie, I find that forcing longer waits between doses is more tolerable than reducing my dose so much that it's ineffective. I steer myself to know I will have 2 hours or more of difficult rebound,  but it will end. Just a thought for you. Customize your taper so your getting some relief. I cut my dose by about 10%, I am less than a week on. At 3 hours, the horrid rebound starts, but I started making myself wait 4 hours, snd c am now pushing that wait longer, anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. It doesn't feel good, but I have decided that I can tolerate the pain, so I do. Be flexible as your just starting like I am. I spent a week experimenting with different ways to start my taper, and settled on this method, to start. Try different things, be flexible. And be open to changing your taper method as you move along. You can do it. I have accepted that I am.in zombie model and decided that's ok. Acceptance has gone a long way. Panic, yes, so what. Cant remember anything, that's fine. Have to lay in the dark for an hour every day to calm down my overactive amygdala, it's  fine. This is recovery. Accepy, experiment, and remember the big pictute: your healing your brain and body from addiction, just like someone healing from chemothetapy. The difference is, our outcome is living, for a cancer patient, it's more likely to be death.Excuse any typos, doing this on my phone with blurry eyes.

[[La...]]

The idea of tapering is the reduction of benzo in the system. When one bounces their dose, IMO it can cause kindling. Once your dose is reduced, it is best to not ever increase it, or else the brain does not adjust to a lower dose. IMO badlove, you're dragging this out to be a longer endeavor by teasing your brain along in such a manner. Forgive me if I misunderstand what you're doing here. But to increase a dose to feel better does nothing in healing the brain to get off benzo's. When one cuts, they stick with it and endure the side effects.

 

 

[[ba...]]

Thanks Lakeside, I appreciate the input. I will remember not to increase my dose. I was speaking in a broader perspective actually. As I did a week of experimenting before officially tapering, found that a 10% reduction as opposed to a larger one for each dose, and a longer wait period between doses was better for me than a larger cut. In my first week, I have dropped under the 10% a few times, and found that I need to stay there still. I typed that one my phone early this morning, and it may not have been clear. Remember, I am a newb, less than a week in, and learning.

[[La...]]

Ok, just wanna make sure and I didn't mean to sound off key, it was early. But just don't want to see someone suffer needlessly when they're doing their best, but maybe a mistake that could be avoided.

 

I know a lady who reinstated 3 times and the last one got her really, really bad. We use to talk on the phone a couple times a week and now I've not heard from her in 2 yrs. She checks in here now and again and asks questions, but that's it. I don't want to see anyone go through what she is.

 

Jim

[[ba...]]

Lakeside, I needed to hear what you said, although my post was not specific to not allowing yourself to updose. In thinking about it, I have changed my mind. I think updosing during a really harsh patch is a mistake. Today has been rough since I woke up. I have not experienced a break from the anxiety, and it is now into the afternoon. I want to cheat so bad, and get relief. My "cheat" is to take a small bump during the rebound to ease it. Taking a larger dose is not attractive to me, I really prefer the smaller dose I am on to what i was taking previously-but, the rebounds are so long and so intense. In large part, due to your comment, I am not going to allow myself to do this. My body/brain has to adapt to this reduction, and that's all there is to it. Saw my therapist 2 hours ago, we talked about this. He asked me to come up with plans to get through the pain if I am having trouble just accepting it. My first one was to post in here, my second is to call my crisis support line if I am starting to have a meltdown. My biggest strength is acceptance, but sometimes it's a challenge. Any fresh ideas beyond exercise, etc that we all know are appreciated. My mantra is I can, I can, I can.

[[on...]]

Baddove- I had many times I wanted to take an extra xanax- thought I couldn't make it- but I knew if I did I would sabotage all my hard work and the suffering to date would be for nothing- that is how I resisted that urge- I never took a rescue dose or an extra pill during my taper. Some coping strategies I used- and still use now during my recovery  are deep breathing, meditation, praying and talking to myself - telling myself  you are  strong you  can do this!  Please try to stay strong- taking extra does or upping the dose will prolong your agony and may make you feel worse. You can do this! The feeling of being free from xanax - of no longer being a prisoner of that tiny little pill is priceless. Think of never having to worry if the pharmacy won't fill your prescription- think of not worrying whether your doctor might stop prescribing it at some point- think of not worrying if someone might break into your house and steal your xanax or your house might catch on fire and your xanax might  be up in smoke.... I had all those worries and more  and now I am free... I wasted  so much time obsessing about my xanax- now I don't have to......Imagine how good that will feel once you are done.  . During my taper I thought often  of how that freedom might feel - that kept me going during some really tough patches. I can say now that the feeling of freedom is even better than I imagined. Hang in there! Be strong- you can do this!

[[ba...]]

On the road, I am going to copy and paste a lot of what you wrote into my  survival manual. I am new at this, not even a week in, and you are all so spot on. I really appreciate getting sound advice and guidance on tapering. Thank you.

[[Fl...]]

DIZZY

TIRED

RESTLESS

HEADACHE

BORED

BLURY VISION

TOLERABLE

 

FB

[[ho...]]

Hi everyone,

I've come to this board to get help for a friend who has been trying to taper of xanax. Doctor won't cross to klonopin or valium. My friend wants to use liquid titration. I used this method 3 years ago to get off klonopin. My question is: does xanax dissolve or suspend in water. Thanks in advance

[[Fl...]]

Feeling frustrated!

 

I'm having this buzzy feeling. Perhaps it's mixed in with some anxiety & nausea. I try to keep myself in a calm place (if that means self isolating) than that is what I do. I don't want this feeing to escalate!

 

I try to be accepting of (ALL) these different changes; however, for me...I often find it so hard to accept this evil. 

 

Honestly...counting down the min's till 1p.m. when I get to take my next dose.

 

Hoping for PEACE, and wishing everyone here continued healing!

 

Fluter 

[[on...]]

Fluter - I remember feeling that way during my taper- desperately counting down the minutes- staring at the clock till my next dose...thought I couldn't make it sometimes- especially when I went from three doses down to two. That was hell on earth!  The good thing once you jump is you no longer have to be controlled by that thought- it was so so  scary at first but now I am so grateful I don't have to think about when my next dose is...you will get there too..hang in there!

[[Fl...]]

Fluter - I remember feeling that way during my taper- desperately counting down the minutes- staring at the clock till my next dose...thought I couldn't make it sometimes- especially when I went from three doses down to two. That was hell on earth!  The good thing once you jump is you no longer have to be controlled by that thought- it was so so  scary at first but now I am so grateful I don't have to think about when my next dose is...you will get there too..hang in there!

Yes OTRM,

It can often feel desperate. I made it to 1...now, just waiting till 5 Than 10

I will jump for JOY when the time comes that I don't have to worry about this drug anymore.  Well, worry about when to take it.

My HOPE...like everyone's here...Is when I jump I will have a pretty smooth landing.

Thank you for your reassurance

FB 

 

 

[[cj...]]

Hi....I'm new to the Xanax Club, but certainly not new to Xanax...it's been my friend, my lover, my companion and it's also been my worst enemy and my downfall for most of my life.  I never realized how much Xanax changed my personality until I Jumped January 10, 2016.  Even my children tell me how different I am...for the better.  I'm experiencing some difficult side effects...Fatigue, dizziness, perception and memory problems...although memory is better than on xanax. I feel very slowed down and the days seem very long.

 

  I had a good day today.  I went down to the park for a walk and my sxs were minimal. 

[[ba...]]

My progress update. my first week was pure hell. Talked to my doc, and listened to my body. Decided to take a bit larger dose of xanax less frequently. My doc feels the really bad first week did acclimate my body to less med, even though I wasn't sure I was doing anything but torturing myself. This is day 3 of the next taper. I am now taking 4 doses a day, instead of 5, and they are a full 1 mg instead of  a 10% cut. So, I am at 4 mg, allowing 2 (.25) "bumps" in the morning if needed. It still drops me down from my initial 5mg taper to 4.5 mg at most, and it's been better. The in-between times can get rough, but I know I will survive. I am now going 5-7 hours between doses, and that feels amazing (psychologically, not always physically, it can get rough). Will stay here until my body tells me to cut again, I have learned that listening to my own instincts is the best way to go, and flexibility in how I do each taper is valuable. No idea yet if my next cut will be  a decrease in dosage, or another drop from 4 to 3. Will figure it out when the time comes. I was at 5.75 a month ago, I am now down to 4.5, I am very proud of myself. I chose this next taper because I felt my body could handle it. I am not setting a timetable, but when I get that instinct again, will make the next cut. It may not be as fast, but it's all getting me to the same place.

[[Fl...]]

Hi....I'm new to the Xanax Club, but certainly not new to Xanax...it's been my friend, my lover, my companion and it's also been my worst enemy and my downfall for most of my life.  I never realized how much Xanax changed my personality until I Jumped January 10, 2016.  Even my children tell me how different I am...for the better.  I'm experiencing some difficult side effects...Fatigue, dizziness, perception and memory problems...although memory is better than on xanax. I feel very slowed down and the days seem very long.

Hi Cjagen,

Welcome

I think we can all relate to the above feelinga (friend & foe).

What a major accomplishment *YOU JUMPED* on 1/10/16. Congrat's to you 

I often say one day seems to bleed into the next.

Glad to hear you had a good today  and, here's to a better tomorrow 

Fluter ~