Benzo Related Loneliness

[[Ba...]]

That makes total sense ❣️

 

Am sorry your in this too...

 

I just feel like have completely shut down,due to all the trauma..

 

The isolation,no family around,no job...

 

I was a sales assistant & very sociable now am wreak & getting triggered by life it’s self.

 

I honestly wonder how am going to get out of this hole am sat in alone.The drive & motavation have gone...2 years have been at this & no where near finished...

 

I guess the depression is extreame & am losing footing!Its like have no control over any-thing then I start panicking..I have nobody to ring or even see any-more!

 

Humans need contact xx

 

Yes, my problem, too.  My life was already rather limited by a severe sleep problem that made my world small.  But this on top of that is just cruel.  And, yes, miss others but feel so sick much of the time what do you do?

 

Someone posted about building social support but i don't know how to build anything right now.  Without family and like only long distance friend or two, where are you? 

 

wah.

[[So...]]

Hello everyone:

 

I had never head for anhedonia until I joined this thread. I don't think I have it...yet. I know with benzo w/d, new symptoms can pop up out of the blue. Right now my main worst symptoms are a GI issue, some insomnia,some anxiety. I went to the therapist yesterday (my third time) and twice I have cried my heart out during the sessions. Is this okay that I have been able to cry? I still find some joy in life. However, I am going through a very difficult situation with my son. His dad has give him an ultimatum to move out the house. This is affecting me so much, and I feel so sad and so frustrated that I cannot do anything to help my son. I guess I can have the choice to not let this crush me to the point of horrible depression and loneliness. I will continue going to therapy, and see if I can survive this.

 

I wish you all healing 

[[So...]]

I have gotten two cute, loving kittens. Their names are Mickey and Creamy. They are already giving me a lot of joy and companionship. I am glad I was able to find them for free. I am still going through a major GI setback that I don't think is just 'benzo belly'. I lost my son and I am devastated. I hope I can survive this.

[[Fa...]]

I have gotten two cute, loving kittens. Their names are Mickey and Creamy. They are already giving me a lot of joy and companionship. I am glad I was able to find them for free. I am still going through a major GI setback that I don't think is just 'benzo belly'. I lost my son and I am devastated. I hope I can survive this.

 

I am so sorry!! My prayers are with you.

[[Fa...]]

I feel so alone. My family is here with me. Heck my children are homeschooled but I feel so distant from them. Sometimes I'm scared of them. I can't understand it. I feel like I'm not even part of this world and never was. I feel so lost. Idk

 

We're you on Ativan for only 3 months and feeling this way five years later?? No other meds?? 

[[Ca...]]

I have gotten two cute, loving kittens. Their names are Mickey and Creamy. They are already giving me a lot of joy and companionship. I am glad I was able to find them for free. I am still going through a major GI setback that I don't think is just 'benzo belly'. I lost my son and I am devastated. I hope I can survive this.

My thoughts are with you Soly, I just connected your posts..  I have just been through the tragic loss of a teen, not mine but as close as... I dont know how or even if im dealing with it amongst other stress events and loss... Has been a year...

All I have is good memories, and I hang on to them to celebrate the lost life as best I can...

But its a drop in the ocean, and the ripples of loss and regret spread far and wide...

I wish there were words, but I cant find them..

All I can say is im so very sorry...

 

[[So...]]

Thank you for your kind words.

[[Ev...]]

That makes total sense ❣️

 

Am sorry your in this too...

 

I just feel like have completely shut down,due to all the trauma..

 

The isolation,no family around,no job...

 

I was a sales assistant & very sociable now am wreak & getting triggered by life it’s self.

 

I honestly wonder how am going to get out of this hole am sat in alone.The drive & motavation have gone...2 years have been at this & no where near finished...

 

I guess the depression is extreame & am losing footing!Its like have no control over any-thing then I start panicking..I have nobody to ring or even see any-more!

 

Humans need contact xx

 

Yes, my problem, too.  My life was already rather limited by a severe sleep problem that made my world small.  But this on top of that is just cruel.  And, yes, miss others but feel so sick much of the time what do you do?

 

Someone posted about building social support but i don't know how to build anything right now.  Without family and like only long distance friend or two, where are you? 

 

wah.

 

 

 

Thank you for this thread. This is exactly how I feel. I sometimes can’t believe how small and lonely my world has become. I’ve lost all romantic relationships, my job, most all of my friends, and my self esteem. I don’t know how to pick up the pieces. When I decided to get off this medication I thought my life would improve drastically, yet it has all come tumbling down. I sometimes wonder if this was all worth it. I also feel I’ve lost my sanity and cognitive abilities. Sorry to be so negative today. I’m just feeling very down and alone in this struggle.

[[co...]]

It's OK to be 'negative'.

 

It's fine to be however you are right now.

 

"Postive THinkingTM" is just another way to blame the individual for structural issues.

 

IMNSHO

[[no...]]

It's OK to be 'negative'.

 

It's fine to be however you are right now.

 

"Postive THinkingTM" is just another way to blame the individual for structural issues.

 

IMNSHO

Very wise Cookie 

 

Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Ba...]]

Wondering if anyone feeling this way cares to talk sometime?

It could be helpful to have a buddy... ?

[[Ca...]]

Wondering if anyone feeling this way cares to talk sometime?

It could be helpful to have a buddy... ?

 

Yes, I am feeling quite the same way as described in the original post. Remarkably so. Hadn't seen it put in such an insightful way, but the way the loneliness seems to be a reflection of how far out of touch I feel to my "higher Self" - the part of me that once was able to connect on another level. I'd always related to the world intuitively. It was the only way I could relate to myself or anyone else. I try to relate to my cat as I once could with animals, but even that relatedness is all but non-existent. I cannot even remember how it felt to be me - as though I'm MIA. I used to play music also, but that's a futile effort as well. It's been over 3 years off of Benzos and, precisely as was put in the post, I seriously doubt I'll come to know my Self again or to feel much of anything - except or course extreme depression and absent in Spirit. I noticed where, 3 years ago here on BB, someone described it as the "death of the soul". I didn't quite understand it at the time but I do now. I used to meditate and was involved in a sort of esoteric metaphysical study but I since the w/d's, I do not seem to have lost access that area of study within my mind. It's bewildering and quite disturbing. That I even exist seems difficult to comprehend!

[[co...]]

Hugs, Catt02

 

:hug:

 

Lots and lots of hugs.  It is hell and you are walking right thru it.

 

Hang in there...and keep going.  It will get better.

[[Ca...]]

Hugs, Catt02

 

:hug:

 

Lots and lots of hugs.  It is hell and you are walking right thru it.

 

Hang in there...and keep going.  It will get better.

 

Thank you, cookienose . . .

[[ea...]]

Catt, I can relate to your post. When I began my journey I had five cats. I loved them all, but because I was on benzos I could not "really" love them. I felt somehow removed. I never ever treated them badly, but my emotions were being blunted by both benzos and SSRIs.

That these drugs can do this is astounding.

But how much I have changed for the better once I got OFF all those drugs is evn.en more amazing. You might want to read my current Blog. I just wrote a post on how much getting off benzos affected me in ways I didn't know were possible. But now I do.

Benzos numb you, dumb you, and rob you of normal emotions and thoughts. So do SSRIs, but that is a really personal opinion, one not shared by many here. I wont ever take one of those drugs again. Benzos are wickedly nasty, because temporarily they soothe you, relax you, let you sleep...but at such an enormous price. But none of us KNEW that. I sure didn't despite 30 years of full time Nursing jobs. Nurse Jackie IS me. So is House. Medical people can and do get addicted to these ugly drugs easier than the general public. Its our "dirty little secret."

RiverWolf was always one of my personal heroes wrote about "the Benzo Lies," and that made so much sense to me even back then. I had bought into all of the Benzo Lies.

Catt, your post really touched me and after seven years of BB, that says a lot. I relate to everything you said. The death of the soul is the absolute perfect way to describe how benzos affect a person. They rob you of who you really are. It is a slow process, one that slowly occurs and its sneaky so you don't really know it is happening. You depend on your little pills. And in the end, those little pills will do you in...and might cost you your very life.

But this stuff is reversible, or so I currently think. The fact that I am still seeing positive changes after SEVEN years is pretty amazing.. A year from now, will I feel even better? I hope so, even thought right now I feel pretty darn good.

Never give up. That has been my motto for years, because it sure was true for me. I went from a totally addicted human mess who almost died thanks to benzos, who lost a LEG due to benzos, into a functional woman who works hard and is able to really connect again.

Please keep on going. You just don't know yet what new changes will happen to you.

east  (and a BIG hug to all of you fellow warriors!)

[[va...]]

Catt has been three years off benzos, so the death of the soul he's suffering is still withdrawal, not while taking the pills. The pills are of course the cause of all this but he's reporting his suffering as an ongoing withdrawal symptom for three years, not as the side effect of the drug.

[[Ba...]]

Which is, I guess, why some decide not to taper off but to stay at a low dose, if that is how you feel for years after being off.

 

[[Ri...]]

 

RiverWolf was always one of my personal heroes wrote about "the Benzo Lies,"

 

:smitten: