The Klonopin Klub

[[re...]]

That's great, Ama!  And the more of us get to where we feel that way, the more encouraged--I hope--those still on the road will feel!

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[th...]]

........ and it takes a serious leap of faith to believe that "this too shall pass."  But it shall, it will, and folks, it really IS worth the struggle.

 

Hang in there, my friends--persevere.  You're getting there, and you WILL get there.  You'll defeat the demon and send it packing, back to its nasty little cave. 

 

Wishing you all relief and windows -

 

Peace,

 

Rek     

 

I am having bad times this week and the last one was even worse.. your words are so warm to me, they are making me cry

 

Thank you so much Rek and all you buddies, I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning with half the tiredness I feel

 

bye, keep on

[[Co...]]

I posted this on another thread but need to post it for kklubbers,

 

Tell me what you think about this:

 

I will stick my head out of the sand and say hi. So, I started getting sick yesterday (10 days after my cut) and was feeling a bit down. Today I am feeling better than yesterday. Gives a soul a bit of hope. I have been overloaded at work also and it gets tough to carry on when you are sick.

 

But...I was off work today and went for my prescribing Dr. and for a complete physical. I need some input here. Physical went well. My r/x Dr. confused me. I was originally put on klonopin for a chronic and debilitating facial pain problem that took me 5 years to get a diagnosis. I have a traumatic neuroma in my face caused originally when a nerve was transected in my face. Fast forward to last year. I always had a pronounced thudding in my face. Even with the meds. Last year the thudding stopped. I waited 3 or 4 months and decided to d/c the klonopin. We all know what happened then. In the year since I have tapered and d/c'd the meds I have had no pain. It was amazing. I have been in denial. I started getting twinges a few weeks ago. It has gone from that to real pain--intermittent--for about 10 days. I am pretty scared. It goes away completely for hours sometimes. This is also the way it started many years ago. So I told my Dr. and asked--Is there any meds for neuropathic pain that are not narcotics and not benzos? She said yes. She told me--Gabapentin and gave me a new r/x. I came hme and googled it. I am not happy. I was on Wiki and I am always secure with their information. Gaba is Neurontin. And.. quote:

 

'Gabapentin should not be discontinued abruptly after long term use. Abrupt or over rapid withdrawal may provoke a withdrawal syndrome reminiscent to alcohol or benzodiazepine withdrawal.'

 

Are you kidding? What part of this is hard to understand? Neuronton is an anti seizure med. Klonopin was billed to me as an anti seizure med that works well on neuropathic pain. It worked great but made me an addict. Can anyone weigh in on this? I will not take this medication. Am I wrong to think that the Dr. that has witnessed my downfall should know that this med results in w/d?

 

All she said was that it can make you feel sedated. Isn't this how it started for so many of us? Take this pill. Trust me. Not feeling very happy right now.

[[pe...]]

CC-

I'm so sorry and frustrated along with you about your doctor's lack of judgement. I just can't believe how cavalier doctors are when prescribing medicine. I'm glad you did some research. I guess that's one take away from the whole benzo mess, we know we have to look out for ourselves when it comes to these things. I'm sorry to hear you're having pain. I'm wondering if you can find a second opinion as to how to manage it. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. You're a strong one, CC. I have no doubt you'll find a way through this, too.

 

Peace2

[[re...]]

Good evening, folks -

 

Hi, Trader!  I am sorry you are struggling--I hope you get some real REST tonight and that you do indeed wake up tomorrow feeling distinctly less tired!  Fingers crossed for you.

 

ColoradoChick, boy do I understand your reservations about Gabapentin.  When, in the middle of 2012, I was in a kind of pain that no one could figure out or effectively treat (resulting in my being put on clonazepam, and what a nightmare that turned into), a friend said I should take Gabapentin--her husband has chronic pain from Parkinson's, and I guess that's one of the medications he takes.  So I went home and did a Google search, and it scared me.  I discarded any idea I might briefly have entertained of taking the stuff.  Not that what I did end up on was a good thing, either, but at any rate I steered clear of Gabapentin.  The thing with pain, though--I understand why that, too, alarms you; the pain I was in was frightening.  It was a lot like acute interstitial cystitis, but the urologist I saw did all the tests and said, "Nope."  No one had an answer, and that can be really scary, to be in pain and not to know clearly why, or be able to see a clear terminus to it.  In the end, I think what helped me more than anything (besides BenzoBuddies  ) was meditation.  You may want to look into the teachings of Jon Kabat-Zinn, who is a medical doctor, a longtime Buddhist practitioner, and an expert on pain and stress--specifically, non-medicinal approaches to the treatment of chronic pain.  He has books and CDs that are available at libraries, and there are also many programs all over the country, affiliated with various hospitals, that have been modeled on the very successful Stress Management Center Kabat-Zinn established in Massachusetts back in the 1990s.  The programs are intensive, and they do cost money, but this may be worth looking into.  I didn't take a Kabat-Zinn course, but I took a (considerably less expensive) meditation class that I think was helpful to me in much the same way that Kabat-Zinn's program might have been.  This is just a suggestion--I'm wondering whether even just knowing that there may be alternatives to yet another medication might help you to calm down, and whether calming down might perhaps also ease the pain somewhat.  I would hope so.  But I do completely understand the fear.  And I don't know whether meditation is something you're already doing--if you've mentioned it here, I'm afraid I've spaced it out, and must apologize.  At any rate, I hope you don't find yourself up against pain like before, and I hope you can find natural solutions to whatever does crop up, so that you don't feel locked into the pharmaceutical vicious cycle. 

 

Take care of yourselves, everyone.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[Co...]]

Rek...thanks for your input. I do not know what is really going on with the pain. Like you, my original pain, years ago, was so debilitating. I was suicidal after 5 years of it. The hard part is that klonopin worked. I could live with what it is right now. I am just scared silly that it will increase. But for now, I am just going to keep on going forward. I am going to address this with the Dr. This has to stop. I am a pt.that is an addict. This should never have happened.

Feeling so irritated but grateful to BB.

 

[[ju...]]

 

 

180 1 mg klonopin tablets. I cut my 1 mg tablet into halves and take .5 mg in the early morning an.5 mg in aftenoon.  I really feel it when I miss a dose. My signature info tells my story, I wonder how hard this is going to be. I know what benzo wd feels like but I'm tapering off klonopin directly this time. Any suggestions on how with the supply? Thank u:)

[[da...]]

Hi everyone,

So much good love coming around here wow trying to get caught up been off awhile.. I've been at .25 for about a month and feel stable  husband told me to hold off on cut till after  surgery and recovery... they found a mass on my uterus ( sorry guys)  my husband gets sensitive on stuff like this so if you r too I 'm sorry.. doc will remove it ...cancerous? They will do biopsy.. he did state I might be down for six weeks and.. I don't know if you guys now my brain doesn't remember if I told you I have a disabled son who's 11  and 110lbs  he crawels and does most transfers but he's on homebound due to neglect and abuse at a severely disabled state school so now this all came out I'm very very over protective of him.. we have caregivers that come in and change his diaper ,bath him play with him feed him.. god has truly blessed me with them they will be here to care for Kaleb during and after my surgery and till my husband gets home from work ... at first it was stressful trying to figure it all out and one thing piled upon another.. it seems that's how my lives been since the taper ..I get rest once in awhile  when I do I cry a lot and think a lot my mind won't shut up when I'm not busy I'm constantly worried or trying to figure it all out lol and what happens frustration ,tears,but its a release then I realize my focus is off the positive then I reflect on that and find peace ... such is life I'm feeling normalcy  at times......:-)  ginko huh I'm 50 I'll have to read more..you guys keep up the cheerfulness .. many window to all...sorry for carrying on I don't get on much cause busy with my kids ...some days I feel so defeated and others happy and a over comer but such is reality a true life

[[aw...]]

Hi, Julie:

 

If you're have w/d symptoms, you might want to try taking your Klonopin 3 or even 4 times a day, at equal time intervals. I would change over gradually.

 

Aweigh

[[...]]

Darcey, I've sent a little prayer off that you continue to be blessed w/ the help you are receiving.  I think this is going to be difficult no matter how you do it but as Aweigh says, take it slow.  You seem to have a fundamental grasp of meditation where just staying in the moment is primal.  Don't worry about the tears... I hear they are  a gift   Julie, figure out how many doses you have ... 180 might be enough to make it, I'd go to the taper boards and see what you can find out.  As Aweigh suggests, dividing it into 2 or more daily doses will help you manage sx.  Cutting 10% of my current dose every 10-14 days has worked for me and i dry cut.  Just take it slow and see what you can tolerate.  CC:  if it is a cut nerve... it will likely never go away although if it is damaged enough, it may; you can learn to live w/ it.  As Rek suggests, meditation is more powerful than I could have ever imagined before this experience.  I've meditated regularly for the last 40 some years and it was helpful in calming and setting a great pace for my days and occasionally I had used it for pain relief but nothing dramatic until this last year.  Things were so bad in the early months of my taper and I was forced to take every thing I knew about meditation and concert it into a viable pain relief.  It worked.  My meditating skills have really benefited from it and I can naturally fall into that state even if I'm out and about now.  Its been a godsend    I would also encourage you to explore its benefits.  I have done a little research and know there are not many good avenues for pain relief outside those that work on nerves or dulling the pain that don't also have nasty side effects.  About Neurotin.  I was taking 1600 mg of N along w/ 2mg of K when I started my taper.  I immediately cut 1200 mg of N thinking the K would mask the sx.  Ouch   But I got through it.  I am still taking 400 mg of N and will cut it at 10% intervals once I'm through w/ the K and stabilized from my jump.  Its an awful drug.  I had confirmed pancreatitis from it on 3 occasions and other horrible problems ... they do seem to be gone now that I'm on the lower dose.  GABApentin w/d may not be as severe as K but I would not start it knowing what I know now.   These doctors are cavalier!  My own original pain has returned w/ a vengeance and it exhausts me dealing w/ it and I don't know if the meditating would be enough if i had to deal w/ small children or a working environment, but I'm dealing w/ it because i can't stomach going on anything at this time.  My doc has offered opiates....no way.  What I am doing is trying to work on those issues that keep me from being fully invested in my life even though I'm in pain.  My condition is degenerative and so its worse than it was 10 years ago when i went on this junk but my ability to handle it has greatly improved.  Ah...hindsight     Snow falls outside, cat sleeps at my feet.  Good morning all.  My regards for a bountiful day.  Njoy

[[be...]]

Thanks Njoy. Had a very good day yesterday. Slept without any gravol. But it often is a pattern with me. A really good day is followed by a bad one. Feeling awful right now. My night seemed to be nearly all REM. I think I would feel better if I hadn't gone to bed. Woke up heart pounding, fists clenched and jaws clamped. Seriously feel like I haven't slept in 3 days.

[[bu...]]

I took a break from thinking about withdrawal. I am posting this to reassure those that may ahve too much work or family to push through quick withdrawal. I found out something that I though rather positive about my process. A few years ago I was apparently up to 3 mg per day. I don't even remember why other than presuming pain and anxiety of course.

 

So, at some point I dropped down to 1 mg. per day- not sure when or how. Just on a whim I guess.

 

Finally this past summer, again on a whim- don't know exact date, thinking June, I again cut a large amount down to .625 where I have now reinstated to and remained since my last post on here. I had reinstated since trying to reconcile marriage, work part time and deal with my 17 year old's very busy schedule.

 

All of the above are still going on but my body is just slammed despite my somewhat strict diet, regimen of digestive enzymes, meditation, yoga, running etc! My body needs off these drugs but I accept that I need to take it slow. I am going to attempt another cut after Christmas when I can take some time off and then I plan to sit with it again while I continue on healing the rest of my life.

 

So that is my next point, I thought that I was ready to deal with all that was going on and it became too much. I felt so much shame in reinstating but i know now it was the right thing to do but this journey does not end! Must keep on!

 

Wishing everyone the best through the cold and the holidays- be kind to yourself!

[[ho...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

Julie I don't see any reason why you can't follow a titration method of tapering that would get you off the K with the amount of pills you have. I see that aweigh has suggested dosing 3 or 4 times a day, and some members do this and it works well for them. I dosed twice a day as you do but my doses were 12 hours apart. Titration is easy once you do it a couple of days. I did not buy special equipment via the net. I used measuring devises that you can get from the drug store. If you are interested in " daily titrating " which IMO is a slow ride down and off I will be happy to go in more detail, just let me know.

 

butterfly1 You are on a journey. Not everyones journey is the same. We all have different life circumstances. I had the luxury of tapering off with out the worries of kids, work, whatever. I was able to be as quiet with myself as necessary in order to muddle through. Let the shame go. Look where you are at compared to 3 or 4 years ago. Working toward freedom already makes you a champion. Get through the holidays and then carry on as best you can. We are here for you and we will get this done together.

 

beezee Sleep issues are what got me on the K Krazy Train. During tapering and still after jumping I have interupted sleep issues. My body tenses during what sleep I do get and I wake several times a night, have to get up and walk it off before returning to bed. I clench my jaw so hard that I bit through and broke a "hard" night guard that my dentist made me. "It;s supposed to prevent clenching." I now have a soft one and it really helps with jaw, face and neck pain. Hope you get relief soon.

 

Njoy Sorry your pain has returned and such a struggle. Thankfully your positive outlook and coping skills are beneficial to your overall condition. I deal with daily pain too but I doesn't sound as if mine is a bad as yours. It is so draining.

Thanks for being here with all that you are dealing with. I appreciate you.

 

darsey What a trouper you are with all that you have on your plate. It's good that you feel stable in your taper thus far with your pending surgery etc. I will be keeping your situation in my prayers. Do try to rest and be kind to yourself. The remainder of your taper will be waiting for you when you are able to continue. All my best!

 

Colorado  I'm shaking my head. Doctors.... If we've learned anything at all in this mess, it's to look into these drugs ourselves and thankfully you did. I hate pain, I'm tired of pain, I want it to go away but I hate what these drugs do more. I still haven't figured out what is up with these doctors. I think they just look into a drug book and match sx to drugs and that they really don't know squat about the meds. JMHO

 

To aweigh,peace 2, rek, thetrader, ama hope I haven't missed anybody... You are all in my thoughts and PRAYERS and I wish all of you the very best.

 

About me: The wave I experienced I now feel that I messed up and brought it on myself. Yesterday I realized that I had eaten Chinese food the night before the wave. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I have avoided it for almost a year because of MSG and it totally escaped my brain. I love Chinese food. I won't try that again for a good long time. So, I've been feeling back to normal for a couple days now. I started my Christmas shopping yesterday and hope to finish today. I'm going to start baking cookies hopefully today too. This year I'm scaling WAY back though. Two kinds of cookies and some fudge. I plan to go through all of this at a snails pace, no stress, no expectations, what gets done gets done and that's just the way it is.

 

Sending love, hope, peace and wellness to ALL here at the KK. I'm proud to be a part of this group.

blessings,

hopeful2013

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

beezee Sleep issues are what got me on the K Krazy Train. During tapering and still after jumping I have interupted sleep issues. My body tenses during what sleep I do get and I wake several times a night, have to get up and walk it off before returning to bed. I clench my jaw so hard that I bit through and broke a "hard" night guard that my dentist made me. "It;s supposed to prevent clenching." I now have a soft one and it really helps with jaw, face and neck pain. Hope you get relief soon.

 

 

About me: The wave I experienced I now feel that I messed up and brought it on myself. Yesterday I realized that I had eaten Chinese food the night before the wave. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I have avoided it for almost a year because of MSG and it totally escaped my brain. I love Chinese food. I won't try that again for a good long time. So, I've been feeling back to normal for a couple days now. I started my Christmas shopping yesterday and hope to finish today. I'm going to start baking cookies hopefully today too. This year I'm scaling WAY back though. Two kinds of cookies and some fudge. I plan to go through all of this at a snails pace, no stress, no expectations, what gets done gets done and that's just the way it is.

 

That's the way to do it. I can handle anything if I sleep decently. If like today forget it.....would like to hide until tomorrow.

 

Sending love, hope, peace and wellness to ALL here at the KK. I'm proud to be a part of this group.

blessings,

hopeful2013

 

Thanks so much for this tip. I should have done this. Early on I was in such a shallow sleep I could have gotten up. Will do this next time. I did it 2 nights ago when I got the brain zaps. Will take a 20 min nap MAX shortly to get through the day. I have a party I have to take my 3 kids to tonight. Wish me luck.<br>

Semi-related question. Not cutting yet but when I do I'll be using whole milk. How long does Clonazapam take to adequately dissolve?<br> All the best to you as well. So glad I found this thread/group.

 

[[ho...]]

breezee,

 

when I began titrating I wasn't aware that K did dissolve, that is why I would stir it for 3 min. before drawing off my cut so that it would be evenly suspended in the milk. Since then I have read here that it does dissolve and it is suggested to put the K in the milk overnight. I always just crushed, mixed and dosed. It's totally up to you.

 

hopeful2013

[[be...]]

breezee,

 

when I began titrating I wasn't aware that K did dissolve, that is why I would stir it for 3 min. before drawing off my cut so that it would be evenly suspended in the milk. Since then I have read here that it does dissolve and it is suggested to put the K in the milk overnight. I always just crushed, mixed and dosed. It's totally up to you.

 

hopeful2013

 

I think I'll meet that in the middle and do it maybe an hour or so before I need it. <br>

I see you jumped at .125mg earlier in the year. How is your sleep these days?  Has it improved since being free of this poison?

[[ho...]]

beezee,

 

I didn't jump from .125. It looks that way on my signature unless you read the above that I did daily cuts all the way down to zero reducing by 1 ml. each day. Hope this clears it up.

 

As to my sleep... I am back to what it was like Pre-K, which is interrupted through out the night. I accept that that is what it will be from now on and would rather it be like that then to rely on benzos to temp. FIX IT and then kick my butt later.

[[ho...]]

I just added a bit more to the bottom of my signature, hope this clears up any misunderstanding about my taper.

 

[[be...]]

Makes sense to me. I may do this as well.

 

Gotcha. I think that it may be this way with me too. We'll see. Who knows.  Having learned so much about this medication I very much want to be benzo free. If I had the resources to have checked it out in advance back then I would never have considered it. It's odd too. I ran out of it after moving about 3 years in to taking it. It was terrible. I had to take a leave of absence from my work. In fact I changed careers. It was very bad. Cold turkey from 2MGs/ daily. In fact it may have been 4 per day due to a mix up getting the prescription transferred. Little did I know that it was the withdrawal and then tolerance withdrawal. Hard to believe nobody told me. Just kept on feeding me the RXs.

[[pe...]]

Hi KK,

I'm in this weird state right now where I can't be of much help. But I am reading this thread each day and keeping up with you all. I have such respect for my kk friends! My emotions are coming back in force after being dull for so long. It's intense and I do best keeping busy. I'll be making candy this weekend with my kidlets and I'm looking forward to it. I hope you all have lovely weekends.

 

Peace2

(Emoting like this  :'( ... and repeat)

 

[[be...]]

All the best Hopeful. No explanation needed as far as I'm concerned. I look forward to the day that my emotions don't feel so muted.

 

Cheers,

[[ho...]]

Hey Klubmates,

 

I need some help with my profile if anyone can give it.

I would like to write-up my taper plan and attach it to my profile (like summermeadow and others have) but I don't know how. I'd also like to attach a link to Parkers paper and the link to the KK as I feel these are important threads to pass on especially to new members. I wish I was smarter about these things. If anyone can help I'd really appreciate it.

 

beezee I think all of us would have done things differently if we would have KNOWN in advance. Cold turkey... I can't imagine, sorry you had to go through that. After finding BB I don't find it hard to believe that "nobody told you." It's the story over and over again here. Doctors... I can't get started... I could rant on for pages  .

 

peace2 Rock on. Thanks for the update and Merry Christmas to you and your family. I will not be here as much either as we get closer to the holiday. Busy can be very good. Peace to you.

 

blessings,

hopeful2013

[[be...]]

I meant Peace..... 

[[cl...]]

Hi there JKS-

I saw where you posted @ saunas. That's a big detox treatment and I was wondering how it was going? Is it a far-infared sauna? My doc suggested taking some supplemental support to help w detox when doing those: vit C 1000 mg, L-glutathione 75 mg, and oils such as flax seed.

Are you having some better days? I hope so.

Take care-

Clgre4

[[bi...]]

Yeah the klonopin is wicked.  On it 11yrs plus. Prior to that ativan for 6.

In the taper for four months.  My dr sort of controls the taper.  Wanted me to take

1mg cut this month.  Got half a mg cut.  W/D  A lot.  I seen someone mention muscle

spasms and twitching.  Sometimes right as I am falling asleep sometimes

bam  leg twitch.

 

Hang in there.