The Klonopin Klub

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Hello, friends -

 

It's late, so I have to limit my response--can't be exhaustive or all-inclusive, but I wish everyone well, as always.

 

Peace2, it sounds like a wave.  It's awful, I know, that depression.  But I think it's a wave--or maybe the trough of one (to develop the metaphor), and the swell that lifts you up again will come, it truly will.  I hope you can get some sleep--it makes such a difference.

 

I hope everyone sleeps tonight--that is always my wish.

 

Peace,

 

Rek

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Njoy- Congratulations on your breakthrough! Driving in the winter has always been a bit stressful for me, much more so now. I'm glad you were able to manage it and to continue moving through your day. It sounds like you are making steady progress it many areas. I think you're right about slowing down. In the moments when I feel better, I just want to do everything! But it's not working, so it's not worth it.

 

Rek - Thanks. I hope it's a wave. I tend to have a low level of symptoms all the time, but it hasn't been this bad for awhile. I was hoping since things had started getting better, they would just continue to do so. I'm not sure why I thought that since my symptoms usually increase after a cut and I read about waves here all the time. Wishful thinking, I guess.

 

Two more days of teaching until I'm off for winter break. I wasn't sure I'd be able to get this far in the school year, but I made it. That feels good. Soon, I'll get a bit of resting time.

 

Peace2

[[Pe...]]

Hi Everyone! I'm going to tackle my Xanax first (2 mg a day) however, once I'm off that poison..I plan to tackle the Klon. I'm on 3 mg a day as you can see in my signature. I take one at about 11 am, then 2 more 1 mg tablets with my Remeron at 8 PM. I have a question and it may sound ignorant, so apologies in advance.

I don't for the life of me know why I started the 2 Klon pills along with the Remeron at 8 PM. Seems like I started it about a year or so ago because of some restless leg or something like that. I cant remember exactly why I started it but it seems stupid to take 2 klon at the same time.( Kinda seems like back in the 70's I'd buy a oz of weed and smoke the entire thing in one night,wasteful overkill) My question is this: Since I've read that Klonopin has a half life of 18-50 hours, is there a safe way to move one of the pills I take at 8 pm slowly daily/weekly around the clock,so that my dosages are more on an even keel so to speak? Maybe while I'm cutting my Xanax (Very very slow taper) Maybe I could slowly start to taper(I'm talking like 1%, maybe less than that) that one Klon at 8pm?

Any feedback would be appreciated.                      Thanks , PepsiMoon

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Pepsimoon:  Absolutely, not only can you but IMO it is best.  I was taking my entire dose at bdtm when I started to taper.  I switched over to 3x/dy for many months and that worked great.  I'm now ds 2x/d.  But my total daily dose is getting quite small.  Keeping equal blood serum levels really made a difference in how I felt during the day. If I needed something at night to sleep , I took Mel. and Mg.  I've been having a little more trouble sleeping lately but when I tried to c/t I got no sleep at all and I'm not sure I ever compeletely recovered from that.  To get a few hours, wake up and have some trouble getting back to sleep but eventually falling back to sleep is okay.  I'm getting older and I suppose its to be expected.  I try to comfort myself that in any 24 hr period I probably get the sleep I need.  I rest a lot so its not like i need I lot of energy but i do like being able to think.      Njoy 

[[ju...]]

So my dr says she can taper me off klonopin safely and comfortably in 3 months. First few weeks, full dose, then taper off, she's  a highly paid shrink and I have some hope

[[Pe...]]

Hi Peace, I'm sorry to see that you're going through such a rough time. If you haven't read this yet, please do. It will help you understand exactly what and why youre going through this. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=79098.0  It'll explain everything!

 

                                                                                      Peace be with you, Pepsi Moon

[[Pe...]]

What is CBT?  Thanks , PepsiMoon

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PepsiMoon: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. A style of therapy that involves paying attention to your mental content as you do the crazy stuff. My ad-lib definition. NJoy knows something about it, and of course you can Google it, maybe without the hyphen.

 

Are those all your guitars?

 

aweigh

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Sorry Pepsi, I had thought you asked about it.  ... forgive my brain... it only works half the time... that being said, that's 50% more than it was working before I began my taper.  it was Wondernova that asked about it.  Njoy

 

[[Pe...]]

TY Aweigh, Yea those are my axes. Someday I'll play them again...PepsiMoon

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A Les Paul Deluxe (with DeMarzio P/U?) and two SGs? I'm jealous  The wd doesn't seem to mess with my playing, just the arthritis 

 

Aweigh

 

 

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Guess everyone has gone home for the holidays.  I'll just close up and to everyone a good night.   Njoy

[[re...]]

Hey, folks -

 

I have been AWOL.  Final exams, holidays--what can I say . . .  except that I hope this holiday brings everyone the gift of sleep and relief.  Wishing all of you windows and an auspicious New Year -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[th...]]

Merry Christmas and happy recover to you all, buddies

 

love 

[[ho...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

Busy, busy time with family. So grateful I feel well enough to enjoy Christmas and all the hustle and bustle that goes with it. It is my heart felt wish that all my BB friends feel well too!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

 

blessings,

hopeful2013

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Good morning K Klub,

 

Busy, busy time with family. So grateful I feel well enough to enjoy Christmas and all the hustle and bustle that goes with it. It is my heart felt wish that all my BB friends fell well too!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

 

Thanks!  Same to you!  Glad to see someone doing well!

 

[[Wo...]]

Merry Christmas folks,

 

I hope everyone feels well enough to enjoy the Holidays!

 

Hopeful: Since it's been some months since your jump, how are you doing? I'm curious cause I'm relatively stable @.5mg, and gathering courage to start my liquid titration soon.

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Well, I made it through the holiday.  Nice quiet day.  I got tired easily but no drama or perceivable sx.  Went 4 wheelin. I am noticing the muscle pain I've been experiencing lately is easing up and the constant cold is going away... or at least is not present the last week or so.  I will start .020 today.   I know some people jump from here... I'm a little scared to do that.  I've come so far and things are going so well.  I won't be filling anymore scripts so I think I'll just keep dropping till its just fumes.  I feel good that I reached my goal to be at .02 at Christmas.  No hustle and bustle this year. It feels so good to feel so close to normal.  I still begrudge the loss of cognitive function but I can see that at least my ability to relearn is improving.  3 mo ago I couldn't do anything that took more than about 3 steps unless I already knew it really well, now I can read extended directions and figure things out.  What a relief.  My whole point of going through all this was to get my brain back and I was beginning to think that wasn't going to happen.  I have new hope.  CC said perseverance is everything.  I concur.  To everyone I wish the strength to get through the day and the peace of sleep at night.   Njoy

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Congrats on your taper sucess Njoy !

 

Did you go 4 wheeling in the snow? I love to 4 wheel and haven't done it for awhile now. We need a good snow storm and then we can go in the snow !!

 

Patrick

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Good morning, everyone -

 

I hope all those who celebrate Christmas were able to enjoy it, and to find some relief.  It's snowing here now--lovely, though I'm glad I don't have to drive anywhere in it! 

 

NJoy, so glad you had a reasonably calm Christmas, and that you are feeling OK.  I have confidence in your continued progress!

 

Wishing you all windows and sleep -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

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Ama731:  yes, in the snow.  Santa brought us a new GoPro camera and we had to try it out.  Great fun... Thanks Rek, for the encouragement.  It has been such a long road.  I can feel the light around the bend. I sing the praises of Ashton and am so grateful. See my grandkids this wknd.  For the first time in over a year, I will be going to see them.   Njoy

   

[[ho...]]

Good morning K Klub,

 

Njoy the 4 wheeling sounds like so much fun. Feeling "almost normal" is wonderful. I feel that I tapered down to fumes too (in my way) and it seemed like the right thing to do. No regrets here. I'm excited for you that you are so close now and very happy that you feel pretty good. It's been a very long journey but the end is in sight  .

 

Wondernova How I am feeling at almost 6 months off I would say is 85% back to normal which is encouraging to me. I decided months ago not to have expectations about my recovery, to just take it a day at a time. For me, keeping stress down (even good stress) and acceptance of my situation have aided in my healing. I still have some hard days. Sometimes set off by outside influences like MSG, a bout of food poisoning, flu, emotional upsets, etc. Sometimes it comes out of the blue seemingly for no other reason than my brain is still adjusting. When I don't feel so good, I still compare how I'm feel ing to how it was when I was in acute w/d and always, always am grateful that it has never been that bad again. I have hope that by summertime I will see much more improvement, yet I'm not setting myself up for any disappointment. It will be what it will be. I still feel the emotional sx are the hardest to deal with. For me now the depression is so much better, hardly ever there. I still use listening to music to deal with occasional depression and anx. The bottom line is... I have experienced much improvement in all areas of healing.

 

To All Klubmates I have so much respect for all of you. You all encourage me in my journey. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your sharing has been the key to my acceptance of my situation, it played the most important role in calming my fear of what was happening to me. I grieve with those who struggle and rejoice with those who improve. What a wonderful place BB is.

 

As we move forward with hope I am sending out compassion, peace and love. I wish you all the very best week ahead that you can possibly have. I wish you to be able to see improvement from the days past to encourage you. I wish you healing. You all are the only people in my life that truly understand my journey. Thanks for walking the road with me.

 

blessings,

hopeful2013

 

PS Njoy Have a wonderful time with your grandkids. They are such a gift, and a great distraction, lol.

[[De...]]

Hey everyone - just popped in to wish everyone a merry holiday season and happy new year!  I just wrote my success story - just in time for Christmas.  I'm having bouts of feeling great, and I haven't felt downright horrible in a while now.  You'll all get here, too. 

 

Much love, respect and love to you all!

 

   

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Deinocote:  great to hear from you and to know you are doing well... I will be checking out your success story!   Hopeful:  your words to Wondernova are so encouraging.   Yes, as long as its never as bad as it was... I still have PTSD like times when I have such a fear of that coming back.  Little sweaty today and still not out of bed... I don't feel depressed ... just haven't gotten up...  I may not get up until spring!   As long as I don't feel bad about it!  No... I'm going to get up soon.  This is a new thing for me.  Before this experience, I had never just laid around in bed... I'd wake up, get up... now... I am able to just let myself rest and amazingly... everything that needs to get done.. still gets done.  I not only was not able to lay in bed or run around in a bathrobe... I couldn't stand others to do it either!  I laugh to think about how much I've lighten up since I've been so humbled by this experience.  If I can just keep that d/p, d/r stuff away... that was quite unnerving... but it also seems to be lifting.  I was accused of being lazy and not doing more to help myself the other day... think I'll just avoid her in the future.   Like you, I am so proud of all of us.  We suffer so much and w/ little support, understanding or encouragement.  We have each other but mostly we are alone in our little corners of the world... taking one day at a time and trying to traverse a wasteland w/ few resources.  I still get headaches occasionally, but not debilitating, I still have problems sleeping but i do sleep, been getting some very mild but apparent tremors lately... not sure what that's about, and still some problems w/ my muscles, but as you say... mostly... better. I suppose in some important ways, I needed to learn to be grateful for some things.  I'm grateful for this group.  I'm grateful that I'm getting better.  I still don't socialize much but at least i can if I want to.  No aggravated ax when I do, i can get out the door and no crying jags.    Njoy

[[re...]]

Hey, folks -

 

Checking in briefly again, to say "take good care everyone, in the New Year and beyond!"  I'm not going away . . . or rather, I am, but only temporarily.  We'll be away for a week (by the ocean--in the cold, but the tradeoff is that hardly anyone else will be there), and mostly offline.  But I hope everyone is hanging in there, finding windows, and all. 

 

Deinoncote, wonderful to hear from you, and to find you doing so much better--more power to you!

 

And to all a hopeful 2014 . . .

 

Take gentle care of yourselves -

 

Peace,

 

Rek