The Klonopin Klub

[[ig...]]

Hi Hopeful-One,

it was hard until I resumed (after a several years-long hiatus) EFT. It's really helping.

There's an EFT thread here at BB. So many acronyms...

 

Strange universe we live on, eh? Doctors are supposed to know what they're doing.

And they seem to have conveniently forgotten the Hippocratic Oath....

 

I finally found a cool doctor..took a looooong time. They're out there.

 

You know, your screen name is a mantra-and it's a good one. Every time you post,

we see it and it makes us all feel better. You too. Good choice.

 

Keep the faith,

Ig

 

 

[[Ju...]]

HopefulOne,

In the past when I tapered close to your rate under the guidance of a pdoc I was hit with a lot of those symptoms at six weeks out. The doc told me it was because I still ha anxiety and put me right back on klonopin. I didn't know any better. At ten weeks out I believe the ashton manual suggests that reinstating is more likely to make things worse than better. Only you and your doctor can make that decision. Speaking just for myself I wish I had stuck it out the first time because it has only gotten harder to taper since then. So- know that what you are feeling is very common and do what you can to be kind to yourself while you heal. EFT, yoga, meditation plus just talking to someone who understands can all help. Stay in touch!

JKS

[[Ho...]]

Thanks JKS,

 

I am almost 11 weeks out now and don't want to reinstate, its not an option for me. My pdoc is supportive of me getting off benzos but also thinks I have "other things going on" (he says I'm bipolar). He seemed dubious about the intensiy of my withdrawal symptoms several mos. Ago even when they weren't as bad so I feel if I tell him how bad this is he will want me on other drugs.

 

Who else is so dizzy disoriented and fatigued and can't drive or function much at all? When do I get a break? I have not had a window yet. I have bad days and really bad days. This is my 5th month home living as a quvering dazed zombie!

[[Te...]]

Thanks for the replies to my question a few pages back guys

 

I'm about to cut down to around .015mg and then jump after 2 weeks on that dose....I've already started to feel like my old self again, that's why I asked about what these low doses are even doing. I've read on this site that you can't start healing till you're completely off but I've already made so much progress since I got below .125mg.

 

Hope you're all doing well with your tapers and other adventures in life 

[[Mo...]]

Terraform- While repair of the CNS system might not begin until one jumps there are 2 major things you get from your tapering. 1 is the psychological effects like feeling free and being proud of yourself. Both are very well deserved congratz! The other is something you gotta try to remember and hold onto IF you get some symptoms after you jump. You are proving you do not need benzos to feel good and operate. You are on too low of a dose to think its the reason you are feeling the good and clarity you are feeling, so your brain knows how to operate correctly. The trick is if symptoms flare up after the jump to remember that your brain knows what to do, it just might need time to get back to that. Perhaps the only good thing my psychiatrist said to me about his practice of giving benzos is if you haven't been suffering from anxiety your whole life, then your brain knows how to not be anxious on its own. Then again you might jump with 0 symptoms and be home free . That's a real possibility!

 

As for me I am going to give it until Sunday to make any big assumptions, but being gluten free has had some interesting changes. Going to give it more time before I am willing to say these changes are staying or it has helped me because I am not in a window but the wave cannot seem to overtake me either. Kind of in-between which is ok .

[[aw...]]

... I'm much more compulsive about my dosing now and things are better.      :smitten: :smitten:to all  Njoy

 

And to all a good night  By compulsive about your dosing, do you mean getting the time and the dose right on every time and writing it all down? Wish I could do that 

 

aweigh

 

"cats are the best thing ever" - Evan, 8 years old

[[...]]

awiegh:  all of the above, except I left my notebook home and I've been here on the mountain for a couple of weeks... i missed a dose yesterday because my phone alarm didn't work... bummer

Ignatious:  bad news on the car... needs module and transmission....bummer

Mogeii:  I smile to think of what a young sage you are becoming!

I'm finishing up at .22 Friday and on to .20.  i like making the change on Friday because then I have a couple of days before sx hit.  I'm slightly more social on the wknds so it works better... I used to cut on Mondays... bad idea. 

I aree that things are definitely getting better... not as fast as I like... I'm itching to get out and do some things on my own... it hurts me to think how I let my brain hurt me like this... perhaps deeper self destructive habits that need to be dealt w/...I've been being good to myself and at the same time... getting out of my comfort zone as often as I can.  Pushing myself a little more and able to push myself a little more... I only read those pages that were available free on Google Bks about Acceptance - Commitment Therapy and I think its helped alot... I'm still quite entrenched in avoiding social situations but I have not given up the idea that I will get my life back.  i just don't get it... I like my life.. its, perhaps, the best its ever been.  Well, except for the car.  Rek spoke of her beloved car that had to be let go... I love this car.. its the most fun car I've ever owned.  Its so old so waiting for the right transmission could take weeks but getting something else seems like an overwhelming task.  :'( njoy

[[po...]]

I had a some very bad bouts at the beginning of my taper. They were mostly gastrointestinal, panic and fatigue. Then for about a month on .5 and .25 mg I was ok. When I cut back to the final dose of .125, the terrible insomnia that I somehow avoided throughout all of this reared its ugly head.

 

Its been almost a week on .125 and am getting maybe 3 hours on average of sleep a day. Wake up feeling totally exhausted, cant sleep during the day and terribly anxious. At night my mind goes absolutely bonkers. I start thinking the craziest stuff all night. They are mostly very bizarre OCD thoughts of like selling everything I own, redoing the house, just nutty nonsense stuff. I take l-theanine and l-glutamine and sometimes benadryl, which all seems to only somewhat work.

 

I was wondering if anyone ever tried Kavinace and Mountain Peak Tranquility formula? Ive read some good stuff about it, but want to hear more opinions.

 

How long did intense insomnia last for everyone, from what stage of the taper did it start? Anybody have anything that helps them get to sleep?

 

It makes me feel worse than normal days where I couldnt sleep pre benzo and during my full dosage. It really makes you not able to do much the next day, which I think contributes to not sleeping again the next night.

 

Help! Tell me something.

 

Thanks

 

[[aw...]]

hi, portiabrown:

 

Here's what helps me for insomnia. Exercise, but not right before sleep. That's the time to do relaxation stuff--yoga, TM, PR, dawn breathing. A very warm but not hot bath.

 

For drugs, I like Sleepytime herbal tea, but the most effective aid for me is melatonin. 1-3 mg, taken 1-2 hours before bedtime. No hangover.

 

Aweigh

 

NJoy: I just happened to notice that your leaving me in the dust, taper-wise. Good for you  A lot of hard work is paying off 

[[Sk...]]

Hey Klub!  Just a quick update..

 

My taper schedule is going well and I seem to be getting better and better as I taper down.  I sure hope this trend continues.  I am going on vacation to Florida and I have a dose cut during that time.  I might hold my dose while on vacation.  Am still unsure...  Hope you are all well.  Love to all of you!

 

-SZ-

[[Ju...]]

Does anyone else daydream about writing their success story? I think I already know what I am going to call mine... but I am not telling!

 

SkyZone- in case you are accepting votes.... I say go for the cut. I hope you have a great vacation!

[[ho...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

Hope all of you are hanging in there. I am nearing the end of my taper and the last couple of weeks have been the hardest since I started. I have to say however that the sx although stronger have been nothing like the first (50%) cut I stupidly made in Dec.

 

Anyway, I'm jumping in 13 days. Riding that train all the way to the end of the line. Thank God I found BB and learned about titrating. So I'm excited about being done with the taper, yet nervous about what may happen when I'm totally off the K. I guess I have no choice but to take it a day at a time.

 

It seemed when I first began that this taper was going to go on forever. Looking back, 4 months actually went by pretty quickly. I"m very thankful that for the most part I was able to eat well and sleep pretty well. The sleep part is now what (my) normal, before benzo sleep was like which is interrupted but I'm so happy considering what others go through.

 

I don't post allot but I do read here most days and am aware of the joys and struggles of all who post. I pray for you all every day. Wishing you all wellness and want to send encouragement to keep fighting the good fight. We are strong.

 

Take good care of yourselves!

hopeful2013

[[Hu...]]

Hey Klub!

 

I sometimes feel like all I do is whining here about my symptoms.. Well, I have good days too. But as you all know this K withdrawal is not all flowers and lollipops so we kinda have to talk to someone sometimes 

Well, anyway I had 3-4 bad days and then I had 3 semi good days with some random pains and stuff. But the past few days have been pure hell. And I do wonder why is it because I'm supposed to make my next cut in a week+ and now I'm getting in this weird wave with new symptoms kinda.. So, I probably told last week that I have back aches and muscle pains. Well, last night I had only 1.5 hours sleep and today I had to go overseas visit my relatives and I was very tired and angry and the usual stuff. This was very horrible day. I started to get this weird joint and muscle pain waves mixed with nerve pain kinda feelings.. all over my body.. my wrists, legs, knees, back of my head, well basically everywhere..   I have had this same type of pain back of my head and my knee randomly for few weeks and I thought.. what the hell just another symptom. But today I was having a whole day with those same feelings. I started to think.. Ok, I had very little sleep and lots of stress yesterday so today was going to be hard anyway, But I noticed like every time I walk, my knee starts having these pains.. every time I used my hands I had it in my hands or fingers etc. And as I have been having muscle fatigue and overall I have not been doing much workout and don't go out much.. (well I cant do much workout because my muscles get fatigued very fast). Just thinking if it's just a bad wave or so I possibly have to welcome some new painful withdrawal symptom to my list.

I today had like 10 times the thought racing in my head "I can't do this anymore". These days I really feel like I sit in middle of hell in flames and in shackles and can't get out.

I'm sorry being so whiny today but this stuff is hard you know. And I'm so far away from the finish line and keep getting more symptoms.. 

 

HPC

[[fi...]]

Hey Klub!

 

I sometimes feel like all I do is whining here about my symptoms.. Well, I have good days too. But as you all know this K withdrawal is not all flowers and lollipops so we kinda have to talk to someone sometimes 

Well, anyway I had 3-4 bad days and then I had 3 semi good days with some random pains and stuff. But the past few days have been pure hell. And I do wonder why is it because I'm supposed to make my next cut in a week+ and now I'm getting in this weird wave with new symptoms kinda.. So, I probably told last week that I have back aches and muscle pains. Well, last night I had only 1.5 hours sleep and today I had to go overseas visit my relatives and I was very tired and angry and the usual stuff. This was very horrible day. I started to get this weird joint and muscle pain waves mixed with nerve pain kinda feelings.. all over my body.. my wrists, legs, knees, back of my head, well basically everywhere..   I have had this same type of pain back of my head and my knee randomly for few weeks and I thought.. what the hell just another symptom. But today I was having a whole day with those same feelings. I started to think.. Ok, I had very little sleep and lots of stress yesterday so today was going to be hard anyway, But I noticed like every time I walk, my knee starts having these pains.. every time I used my hands I had it in my hands or fingers etc. And as I have been having muscle fatigue and overall I have not been doing much workout and don't go out much.. (well I cant do much workout because my muscles get fatigued very fast). Just thinking if it's just a bad wave or so I possibly have to welcome some new painful withdrawal symptom to my list.

I today had like 10 times the thought racing in my head "I can't do this anymore". These days I really feel like I sit in middle of hell in flames and in shackles and can't get out.

I'm sorry being so whiny today but this stuff is hard you know. And I'm so far away from the finish line and keep getting more symptoms.. 

 

HPC

 

I hope you see a turnaround soon ...

[[Im...]]

Human I'm so sorry you are going thru such a rough time. I had a rough day today too    This is awful sometimes. I don't mean to complain either but sometimes it's good to have folks that will listen to you here! I went down from 2 and 3/4th's pills a day to 2 and 1/2 a day and the sx are awful. I wish you all the luck in the world and will be praying for you Thanks guys for listening

                                                                                                    Imsaved

 

Cold turkey off Klonipin 2mg three times a day

A month later found a Dr to listen and started me all over on Klonipin (2mg three times a day)

Since I had been without it anyway started out on 3mg a day (1mg three times a day)

First taper to 2.5 mg a day Couldn't handle it (1mg twice a day 1/2mg once a day)

Went up to 2 and 3/4 pill a day ( 1mg twice a day 3/4 mg once a day)

Down to 2 and 1/2 pill again Please pray ( 1mg twice a day and 1/2 once a day)

[[ja...]]

Just letting you guys know that I'm still here, reading all of your posts and excited about all your successes. I've got a lot going on here - we are moving a week from today so things are a little nuts. Also, I'm headlong into a very sharp career change, and really trying to lay the groundwork for a successful year. If I was on Klonopin now - forget it!

 

Happy 13 months to me!!! 

[[ig...]]

Hey HPC and Imsaved,

sorry today is painful...you are on the right path and you are not whining!

 

Sending gentle healing vibes to you both...

 

Feel better, and let us all know how you are doing.

 

All my best,

Ig

[[Im...]]

Thanks ignations Having a little better morning altho my b/p is out the roof I take Lisinapril for that Just wish I was totally off and doing good I'm really trying It just gets tough sometimes and I'm usually not one to complain but I have never in my whole life faced anything like this I read folks post that are off or really close and I find myself wishing I was there Then I worry to if the sx will be as bad when I'm off completely If it isn't 6 of one thing it is half a dozen of another I really am trying to be more positive tho I love you guys You are a life line for me and I thank you so much for your input and the care you seen to have for one another I pray for ea of you guys all the time that your days will be bright and free of sx

 

                                Imsaved

 

Cold turkey off Klonipin 2mg three times a day

A month later found a Dr to listen and started me all over on Klonipin (2mg three times a day)

Since I had been without it anyway started out on 3mg a day (1mg three times a day)

First taper to 2.5 mg a day Couldn't handle it (1mg twice a day 1/2mg once a day)

Went up to 2 and 3/4 pill a day ( 1mg twice a day 3/4 mg once a day)

Down to 2 and 1/2 pill again Please pray ( 1mg twice a day and 1/2 once a day)

[[...]]

yes, Aweigh, it is getting down there.I'm  now below any previous jump and so far things have been manageable and some things are better.  I had to get another car on the road when mine died.  They wanted $8k to fix a $1800 car and i negotiated the whole thing... had to drive to another town to get it... this was a big step for me... getting out on my  own was a big step.  Now, just glad its Friday. My prayers are w/ all who are suffering... Jaxy, good luck w/ the new job.  Imsaved, I came here for months, just to whine.  HPC:  remember, sx are not linear...there's not a lot of rhyme or reason to a lot of why sx present the way they do. One day it will be better. Njoy

[[Hu...]]

Thank you all for answering,

Had 16 hours sleep... no kidding.

I was sooo tired yesterday. Njoy: Yeah I have noticed how nonlinear they are.. that's kinda scary sometimes but then again sometimes it is good it's like that I think for some weird reason.

It's a bit better now thanks for the long sleep I guess but one thing I still can't get over with.. the idea that I used to be athletic person who went outside lot. Now my body hurts if i go to the toilet a bit too fast or take a 15min walk  And I'm only 27 years old(28 in a few days tho). I'm supposed to enjoy life and stuff. Yet I have 9 years of benzo history 

I hope buy 30 I'm better a lot and can start my new life.

 

HPC

[[...]]

HPC When i was where you are ith my dose, I had similar sx.. they don't go away.. . they just change..no more jaw pain for me but mental sx are down right scary on occasion, especially when i think they are going to last forever... last winter, i couldn't get out of bed, couldn't get out of the house, crying all the time... etc, etc... but lately, I've gotten out, taken care of some things and am able to control my mental sx  better... you got to get that drug out of your sx. I'm walking more, doing some gardening and taking a yoga class (for social interaction.)  I know there are so many dayss when you think it will neverget better but it will!    ;)  Don''t wait for it to get better, practice patience.

[[Im...]]

Human and Njoy I'm so thankful you guys are doing better. I have had a better day today as well 

Njoy I love your name by the way!!!!!

                                                                      Imsaved

 

Cold turkey off Klonipin 2mg three times a day

A month later found a Dr to listen and started me all over on Klonipin (2mg three times a day)

Since I had been without it anyway started out on 3mg a day (1mg three times a day)

First taper to 2.5 mg a day Couldn't handle it (1mg twice a day 1/2mg once a day)

Went up to 2 and 3/4 pill a day ( 1mg twice a day 3/4 mg once a day)

Down to 2 and 1/2 pill again Please pray ( 1mg twice a day and 1/2 once a day)

[[ig...]]

It's positively great you are feeling better, Imsaved!

That goes for you too, Human and Njoy!

 

Find some joy today everybody,

Ig

[[li...]]

Thanks, Ig!  "Find some joy today" is a great message.

 

I know I have been quiet on here recently ... but it's all because of that infamous kidney stone I told you about.

Unfortunately, it is stuck at the base of the ureter ... I am so hoping I can pass it without surgical intervention.

 

Anyway ... kind wishes to all! 

You are one day closer and always remind yourself that you are healing ..... and that you will feel well again.

It's only a matter of time and taking very good care of yourself.

 

Bye for now,

Lizie

[[dr...]]

Hi guys, new member here. I just got done reading the Ashton manual and was curious if it is possible to withdraw from K without switching over to Valium (not sure if this topic has been brought up before)? I realize that the switch over would make the withdrawal process "easier" (if there is such a thing), but, I don't believe my current physician would approve switching me over to another Benzo. I've hassled him a lot over the last several months trying to figure out ways to cope with my depersonalization and derealization problems...little did we both know it was from my interdose withdrawal from K (I was taking it "as needed" every 2-5 days for over a year).

 

Also, I'm curious if anyone has coping mechanisms to deal with my withdrawal symptoms of depersonalization and derealization while they still exist. It's quite uncomfortable and causes great paranoia for me.

 

Thanks! It's been a pleasure being referred to this thread/forum.

 

-DS