50 and over club- withdrawal and recovery issues for the aged :-)

[[an...]]

My Naturepath put me on 3 mg of Melatonin in the evening,  two weeks before my taper had begun, I do not start taper until Wednesday.  I explained to her that I had no difficulily sleeping and will still be on 10 ml Valium in the evenings for quite a while.  She said it helps with other symptoms too?  She also wants to bump me up to 6 mg soon.  I am just not sure I want to take it on an every night basis, what if it quits working when I REALLY need it?  Can others chime in on this?

[[Fl...]]

I personally would not take it until and if you have trouble sleeping.  I would also start at a lower dose.  I felt I did get tolerant of it eventually.  I use it only when I have to and I have to be careful as one book I read ; Mood Cure:  says melatonin; 5htp and L Tryptophan ) are not good for asthma which I have.  It's good to have on standby but if you are doing a c/o the valium may make you sleepy initially?  IMHO.  Hope that helps some.  wishing you well,

fb

[[Pa...]]

 

  I guess i can belong to your club...lol  im 53 and right now i am in a very bad place it will be 4 months tomorrow  since i took a benzo  and in a huge bad wave been going on for a couple weeks, hoping for a window soon.. When i have a better day maybe i can write more...wishing for a better day tomorrow for all of us....    Pat

[[Ra...]]

I am new to the site.  Feeling like I am 25 (ha) but am meeting the requirements.  Great idea.  I will be 60 in a week. I have read the posts.  Brave people.  I guess you can see under my signature where I am.  It is one tough time.  And I have about 3 surgeries coming up.  I can deal with pain -it's the side effects of meds that scare me.  Had surgery in Nov. and threw out the opiate pain killers because I thought it would be one more problem to have to contend with if I "liked" it too much.  Coming off clonazepam.  Feel awful.  I know this will pass..I'd rather be in labor again...and that was 40 years ago.

[Guest [Be...]]

  Raising hand!! I've been on benzos since I was 35.  I pray that one day I can remember fully what it was like to not be on these b*stards!! Hoping that I will once more be "bright" again!! I used to be relatively intelligent, but after 15 years on SSRIs and benzos, I don't even know who the hell I am any more.  Who might I have been if not for these poisonous drugs... I vacillate between hope & excitement for the future and being totally pissed, grieving over the loss of my mental and emotional functions since starting benzos.

[[Ch...]]

  Raising hand!! I've been on benzos since I was 35.

I've been on since I was 30 ~~  I win!  Or lose... 

Don't do the math... 

Challis

 

 

[move]Betty White's : Off Their Rockers  Wednesday night!  Don't miss it![/move]

[Guest [th...]]

Been on since I was 25.

 

 

29 years of Xanax.

No, I'm not proud but I'm not ashamed either. I'm just sorry for all that I've lost because of them. Not material stuff but rather memory, emotions, etc..

[[ve...]]

Been on since I was 25.29 years of Xanax.

No, I'm not proud but I'm not ashamed either. I'm just sorry for all that I've lost because of them. Not material stuff but rather memory, emotions, etc..

 

Got me beat.  Went on at 47 and off at 48 .  Glad you are getting off the poison, Thrive.  Better late than never!  You're right about not being ashamed.  Anyone who is currently battling a benzo or who has fought their way to benzo freedom is a benzo warrior and can take pride in that to be sure.

 

Vertigo

[[an...]]

Good Morning Thrive!  How is your cross over going?

[[ga...]]

I've been on benzos since 1984 and xanax since 1991. with a couple of breaks in there. xanax messed me up. I remember being 'me' while on valium. I don't know who I was when I was on xanax. maybe Rip Van Winkle. and I lost so much and lost my health as well. I remember 'me' while on valium then but not the 'me' on xanax. I would like to go back to being 'me' that I remember. the 'me' I remember pre-benzos. but honest, if I only go back to the 'me' pre-xanax, I can live with that. I'm not mad at myself, I had PTSD and needed to raise 4 children as a single mother. I made a decision for the better of my children but looking back it is not hard to see the the decision was the worst thing for my children. how would I know? that is why I watch others and pay attention to people around me. try to help that they don't make that same decision.

[[Re...]]

Thrive,

 

I love your slogan under you avatar:  Gone so long ....looking forward to meeting myself.  I am 55 and have been on a benzo for about 12 years, now tapering.  I can't wait for the day to be free and start to be healthy again.  My poor body has been through so much and I really didn't think about how I was filling it with toxins this whole time was just more concerned with ridding myself of the horrible anxiety that has been with me for so long.  As I am tapering I have had to deal with this anxiety and am learning alternative ways to cope with it instead of popping a pill.  Can't wait to meet "me" again, she has been away for way to long now. 

 

Renny

[[Re...]]

Thrive,

 

I love your slogan under you avatar:  Gone so long ....looking forward to meeting myself.  I am 55 and have been on a benzo for about 12 years, now tapering.  I can't wait for the day to be free and start to be healthy again.  My poor body has been through so much and I really didn't think about how I was filling it with toxins this whole time was just more concerned about ridding myself of the horrible anxiety that has been with me for so long.  As I am tapering I have had to deal with this anxiety and am learning alternative ways to cope with it instead of popping a pill.  Can't wait to meet "me" again, she has been away for way to long now. 

 

Renny

[[In...]]

I ended up on X because:

 

My husband had fallen and experienced a life altering TBI requiring 4 years of therapy lasting 8 hours per day 4 days per week.

 

I had returned to college and my first day of class took place the day after he fell. He was in a hospital 50 miles away for a week and each day after class, I had to travel there to see him and help him and then come back to supervise my teenagers. All the services to help him were here in this huge city where we live, but the smaller hospital fought me to keep him there, and it took legal intervention to get him home. Go figure what their motivation was. Money is what I thought.

 

During this 4 year time of his therapy and my schooling, I developed a rare breathing problem that required 14 surgeries to handle. The last one was in 2005.

 

With all my breathing trouble, my insurance started to give me a rough time about going to the only doctor who could handle it because of it's rarity. He is located at the research university here, but they harassed me about staying "down in the valley" and seeing all these other ENTs who did not want to deal with my problem, and kept referring me back up to the specialist at the university. This went on for a good year as I struggled to breathe. I finally sued the insurance co. In Federal Court and won. Not easy.

 

I had 2 teenagers who needed me also. One became a mom at the age of 16 while all this other stuff was happening and she and her baby stayed with us. That did help my husband during his rehab.

 

I was under stress during this time. Xanax did help me. I wish I had stopped it though. Hindsight is 20/20.

 

Intend

[[Fl...]]

Intend, I can't even imagine what you went through.  That is such a journey you were on and  you must be a strong; brave woman.  I pray the rest of your journey is more peaceful and calm.  I wish you many blessings Intend,

fb

[[In...]]

Thank you Flutterbye.

 

I often say this, but it bears repeating. My co-worker therapist says "life's Is always an adventure."

 

She's just completed her masters degree and now is licensed as an LCSW, and is very smart and hard working.

 

I think "youth will out," in that we just handle these adversities better when were younger (and she is), and perhaps don't recognize it at the time.

 

Now I'm older, my husband is disabled, but does ok in some areas (cannot drive which really bothers him, but we would all be at risk If he did), I did finish my education, and I work in therapeutic crisis intervention on the weekends for an agency here.

 

Now and for awhile, I've wanted to tackle this benzo thing. I've been "off track" due to failed attempted crossover to K, and just stuck for awhile while I wait some semblance of ability back on X.

 

I truthfully don't know where I'm going anymore with this. I felt fine on X. I just want to stabilize on it so I can make a decision about that. Really strange how life throws us so many curveballs no matter how old we get.

 

Hopefully, we just keep on keeping on and succeeding.

 

Intend

[Guest [th...]]

Good Morning Thrive!  How is your cross over going?

 

Oh, Angel, hello to you. It's so nice to "see" you again! 

 

My c/o is going fine. Aside from the first couple of nights feeling a bit different than usual there has been nothing of consequence. The valium is actually much kinder to me than the Xanax in that I don't feel a desperate need to take my next benzo (xanax) dose right on time...like on the second, you know? My next appt is on May 8th so I'll be taking away more Xanax and replacing it with Valium.

 

I'm not frightened at all. I'm actually looking forward to it and wishing the appt were sooner. Fancy that!

 

I've been meaning to post on your blog but have yet to do so. You'll see me there soon...promise.

 

How are YOU doing? I think about you a lot and have been hoping that all is going as well as can be expected and, most importantly, that you are feeling comfortable with your decisions.

 

T 

[Guest [th...]]

Got me beat.  Went on at 47 and off at 48 .  Glad you are getting off the poison, Thrive.  Better late than never!  You're right about not being ashamed.  Anyone who is currently battling a benzo or who has fought their way to benzo freedom is a benzo warrior and can take pride in that to be sure.

 

Vertigo

 

Thanks so much for the vote of confidence, vertigo. I send the same sentiments back to you.

 

T

[Guest [th...]]

Thrive,

 

I love your slogan under you avatar:  Gone so long ....looking forward to meeting myself.  I am 55 and have been on a benzo for about 12 years, now tapering.  I can't wait for the day to be free and start to be healthy again.  My poor body has been through so much and I really didn't think about how I was filling it with toxins this whole time was just more concerned with ridding myself of the horrible anxiety that has been with me for so long.  As I am tapering I have had to deal with this anxiety and am learning alternative ways to cope with it instead of popping a pill.  Can't wait to meet "me" again, she has been away for way to long now. 

 

Renny

 

Hi Renny,

 

The anxiety IS a real concern. I was so messed up with anxiety, panic disorder, social phobia, etc., when I started Xanax that I truly, truly needed them. However, over the years after having had a break from my disorders, I should have taken a closer look at what I was doing to my brain. But I didn't. And here I am.

 

I'm not sure what you're doing as far as learning new ways to cope with the anxiety but I plan on starting CBT asap before I get into the worst of the w/ds. I tried it when I was younger pre-benzo and it didn't work but I was so young and my mind was closed to it. I thought it was a bunch of "hocus pocus". Funny how over the years our minds can change so much and become so much more accepting of things that were so hard for us to accept "back then". You know, the "I'm invincible" years. (ha ha)

 

Best to you,

T

[[ve...]]

Any of you 50 and over pepes have a bucket list for things you might wanna do after you're completely off the benzo and healed? 

 

I hope to be able to travel Internationally again, maybe in a year or two.  I first took valium a few years ago because I tend to get significant jet lag even when I fly domestically.  I also would like to get back to a healthier lifestyle.  I lost about 25lbs when I embarked on a low carb diet about one year off.  I lost the weight too fast and have gradually gained much of it back in the last year.  I'd like to maybe lose 10lbs and keep it off!

 

Vertigo

[[Ch...]]

 

 

[move]Betty White's : Off Their Rockers  tonight!  Don't miss it![/move]

 

[[GH...]]

Thrive, anxiety has controlled my life, to an extent. I took benzos for anxiety, but i cant say that it helped. I guess I should have not kept taking them. I dont know about how we can cure it. I know that some how, some way , I will keep living and find a way to deal with it. It may sound extreme, but if i had to live in a box, i would. I am so happy to be off the benzos.

 

Bucket list--yes. I am going sailing!!!!!

 

Verti, i have been eating vegan for 9 months now. I have not lost weight, but it is definitely healthier. It is not low carb, but I dont believe in low card diets anyway. They are another fad diet. Actually, I lost 30 pounds eating potatoes about 15 years ago.

 

good healing, fair winds

[[In...]]

Intend

[[ve...]]

 

Bucket list--yes. I am going sailing!!!!!

 

Verti, i have been eating vegan for 9 months now. I have not lost weight, but it is definitely healthier. It is not low carb, but I dont believe in low card diets anyway. They are another fad diet. Actually, I lost 30 pounds eating potatoes about 15 years ago.

good healing, fair winds

 

I agree that too few carbs can be a problem.  It seemed to rev me up when I didn't eat slow carbs either.  So where are you going sailing?

 

V

[[Fl...]]

I love the bucket list idea! 

*publish a book or two or more!

* focus on my visual arts and have a show!

*travel, travel, travel.

*ride a horse on a beach!

*snorkel ( well my fake floating snorkel as I cannot dive down but I don;t care just want to see the fish; sea life; and beautiful water!)

*move and live somewhere beautiful and sunny!

*set up my art studio!

* learn and teach Tai Chi!

*volunteer somewhere!

ok that's a good start for now!

fb

[[ve...]]

Nice bucket list FB .  I'd also like to do some writing and publish something some day.  I want to add that at two years off valium, I am in the midst of accomplishing one of my bucket list items , which was to coach my son's soccer team/sports team. A lot of rules and plays to learn and names to remember . I don't think I could have done it during taper and still would have had a tough time at a year out (last year) but I stepped up this Spring and am in the thick of it now.  I sometimes get a lot of adrenalin after a game and have trouble sleeping after an evening practice or game, but it's something I wanted to do for my son, especially after not being present during that year of tapering.

 

Vertigo