50 and over club- withdrawal and recovery issues for the aged :-)

[[an...]]

Intend, I also had a bad reaction to K.  It made me feel so bad and I knew it was toxic in my system as I woke up every morning with the worst BO- and that is something I never have, don't even wear a deodorant.  Switching to Valium really helped me.  I still get so frustrated that doctors don't tell you the truth about Benzos- they know how to get you on them but no one can help you get off them! Thank goodness for Ashton, although I think it needs some updating.  She suggests taking an A/D and from everything I have researched it seems to make matters more complicated.  Also, I am highly sensitive to meds so afraid to take the Gapapentein and Paxil my psych doc wants me to take.  I have been going to a Naturepath for a few months trying to preparing my body for this w/d and we will see how it goes!  I try to take it one day at a time.  This is my third week of tapering and so far no symptoms.  I was also quite HORRIFIED to realize that I had become dependant.  I just wish the docs would give you everything you need to know to make an informed decision about our health.  I am considering a formal complaint against the doctor who RX'd me Xanex for a year and a half.  This will have to happen after I am healed as I can not waste the energy on that right now.  I had a dream once where I shot him in the head but I think. . . . most of my anger is gone, at least for now as I know it is doing harm to no one but me!  I hope your day turns out ok.  Angelluv

[[In...]]

Angel,

 

Thanks for your reply. I'm still just trying to get back to X and feel somewhat "normal again. At least I did feel that way on X; no I/w or anything. I just felt it was time to get off back in 2009.

 

Now almost 2.5 years later, I'm back to square one on this. I know the doctor doesn't get that ALL benzos are addicting even though her receptionist does. How ironic that is to me.

 

I guess I may be up on an even higher dose of X if I have to up dose. It depends on how I feel when this K is gone. I wouldnt even think it could still be there if I hadn't done so much reading and research about what a long half life it has; in the same category as Valium.

 

So I'm posting today again, but each day I vow at night to just stop posting as I know ultimately this whole thing is up to me helping myself. But I hope all goes very well with you also. None of this is any picnic for any of us.

 

Intend

[[ve...]]

Intend, I also had a bad reaction to K.  It made me feel so bad and I knew it was toxic in my system as I woke up every morning with the worst BO- and that is something I never have, don't even wear a deodorant.  Switching to Valium really helped me.  I still get so frustrated that doctors don't tell you the truth about Benzos- they know how to get you on them but no one can help you get off them! Thank goodness for Ashton, although I think it needs some updating.  She suggests taking an A/D and from everything I have researched it seems to make matters more complicated.  Also, I am highly sensitive to meds so afraid to take the Gapapentein and Paxil my psych doc wants me to take.  I have been going to a Naturepath for a few months trying to preparing my body for this w/d and we will see how it goes!  I try to take it one day at a time.  This is my third week of tapering and so far no symptoms.  I was also quite HORRIFIED to realize that I had become dependant.  I just wish the docs would give you everything you need to know to make an informed decision about our health.  I am considering a formal complaint against the doctor who RX'd me Xanex for a year and a half.  This will have to happen after I am healed as I can not waste the energy on that right now.  I had a dream once where I shot him in the head but I think. . . . most of my anger is gone, at least for now as I know it is doing harm to no one but me!  I hope your day turns out ok.  Angelluv

 

Hi Angelluv.  I complained to my former internist about his nurse and his own behavior in a letter which never got a reply.  I considered taking legal action a few years ago but my wife discouraged it.  I think I could have gotten a settlement, even if small, but I decided it wasn't worth more energy and time away from my family.  I did at least write the letter and probably gave him a little scare that I might sue him!

 

  After a fairly new neurologist agreed to reinstate the valium that Fall 2008, my vertigo went away.  My next internist tried to tell me I could just add lexapro and go off the valium after 3-4 weeks, NOT!  I told him I was working with a neurologist and was not going to take any new medications.  I should really find another internist but this guy is close by and seems pretty good regarding other health matters.  Unfortunately, he is a bit aggressive with medications, wanted me to double my statin dose ( I told him I'd lose some weight), suggested beta blockers when I had temporary BP issues during that first year off the benzo (I declined the beta blockers). 

 

We need to be proactive sometimes since doctors are trained to fix some of our "old age" issues with a pill.  I'm not saying to ignore your doctor's advice but sometimes it helps to get 2nd or 3rd opinions and to research some of this on the internet and become as informed as possible before taking new medications.  I wish I had researched valium before I took it 4 years ago! I've been off it 2.5 years now and am very glad to be medication free, at least for sleep and anxiety.  I'm not a loony against all meds.  I do take a statin due to a family history of heart disease.

 

Vertigo

[[an...]]

HI Vertigo, I think about that doctor every day.  He was our family GP and I trusted him.  I considered writing him a letter also but I spoke with a woman on the phone who says she has all the forms and will help me with the complaint when I am ready.  Are you feeling well?

[[ve...]]

HI Vertigo, I think about that doctor every day.  He was our family GP and I trusted him.  I considered writing him a letter also but I spoke with a woman on the phone who says she has all the forms and will help me with the complaint when I am ready.  Are you feeling well?

 

Hi Angelluv.  I have a few minor issues which I had to some degree before benzos (less than perfect sleep, some anxiety, some fatigue).  I think my health was set back by the Shingles virus two years ago which I had a couple months after my taper ended, but the nerve tingling seems to finally have subsided.  I've been pretty much back to where I was before benzos, for the last year.  When things get particularly stressful, I seem to react a little more strongly than before though.  I think my CNS is still a little sensitive still,  but I believe it's mostly healed.

 

Thanks,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

 

I did the Xanax taper thing for awhile(and actually did well) and then it got harder cause I didn't know how to really taper correctly (5-10% per 14 days). Just kind of "winged it". For a couple of years.

 

Then I tried to cross to klonopin cause it has longer half life and I thought it would ease the w/d sx. But then it made me super sick so I'm back on X, and at higher dose than ever cause of trying to go to K and not getting how to do it. And now I've got to handle these horrible K w/ds till it's out of my system, even while I take more X than I've ever taken. I don't know how much anything is hoping me anymore. I can tell K is still there cause of the way I feel. Not just X I/W, but that could eventually prove true. Just wonder how long " mortal man" can cope. And believe me, I've been through plenty of tough stuff in my life. I'm no spring chicken here, but this is "taking the cake " at this point in my life.

Intend

 

Have you considered a slow crossover to valium?  I think it might be smoother than xanax or klonopin.  You don't seem to get the interdose withdrawals with valium.  However, a crossover ought to be done very gradually as it takes a while for valium to build up in your system.

 

Vertigo

[[In...]]

Vertigo,

 

This cross to V that you suggest has been mentioned many times here on BB by many people. My doctor wasn't too much in favor of it which is how I got started on cross to K. That has proved to be disastrous for me.

 

I believe I finally have the K out of my system, and now I am dealing with X, (I think). My brain has been through quite a bit here, and I think I need to "take it easy" and see if I can be completely stable on X again. I can't begin to say how uncomfortable this past 6 months have been; certainly way more difficult to endure than my X taper which preceded my attempt to cross to K.

 

Since it seems I must start over (which is discouraging), I am thinking of liquid titration using X, perhaps prepared liquid X, and a cross to V is not out of the picture. However, since I have spent so much time here just trying to survive this K adventure, I'm not really sure what my doctor would say now about any of this. I think she would Rx the liquid X preparation, but who knows about the

Valium.

 

And I'm not sure how I would tolerate the V or the cross to it either. There's a lot "up in the air" here so to speak.

 

Intend

[[Fl...]]

Intend I agree with just stabilizing for now as you have been through allot and your health has taken some stress from it.  I often think of crossing over also but I am struggling so much with my health issues right now and just trying to get through one day at a time I can't deal with anything else at the moment.  Take a breather and get your strength back and you can decide all this down the road?  I do hope and pray you feel better soon!

blessings & wellness,

fb

[[In...]]

Flutterbye,

 

I totally agree with what you just said. Sometimes it's all so overwhelming to just think about it.

 

When I first started the cross to K back in Nov. 2011, I was very optimistic about how it would go. Now I am totally worn out mentally and physically and somewhat discouraged. It's time to "recoup and regroup."

 

My best to you.

 

Intend

[[an...]]

Not saying this to influence anyones decision.  I know for myself after having been in tolerance w/d from X, not tolerating Ativan and then then my body really didn't like the K- the c/o to Valium was the best thing for me.  cross over went smooth and I feel the best I have felt in months.  My psych doc has decided to leave at the end of June and has referred me to someone in her office who has even less experience that she did.  I have been on the phone ALL DAY hoping to find someone who specializes in drug addiction/dependency- I have come up with no one.  The three I found are not taking new patients.  I even found myself begging one who is close to me. . . .begging!! Being into my third week of tapering- I feel just so frustrated and alone in this as far as any professional help.  WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BENZOS DOCTORS, THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EPIDEMIC SOON!!!!!   I am very happy to have all of you knowledgeable people here though, what would we do without this site??

[[In...]]

Angel,

 

This can all be so hard and so discouraging; you want to do the right thing and just be done with these drugs, and it's so hard to find a drug that is tolerable, and a doctor to help.

 

Perhaps the doctor you have been referred to in your doctors office will just stick with your program. This person is in the same office, and has your records and has no real reason to change course now. Maybe you should have an appt. with this doctor before your doctor leaves. And I would think that if you see this doctor, they will certainly read those records and see what you are doing.

 

You don't absolutely have to be going to an addictions specialist to do this. The ones we have here are all specialized in illegal drugs and pain meds. I tried to make an appt. with an addiction specialist last winter, and I was able to easily get an appt., but they just insisted that I needed to take suboxone over and over again. Suboxone is for opiate addiction and when I explained what I needed, receptionist just said they could also give me anxiety meds. So, HELLO; not what I wanted or needed.

 

I would just speak with that doctor you've been referred to before you spend any more time calling around. I cant imagine that that person would want to interupt a course of medical treatment that is working for you.

 

As far as the V in my situation, I just need some time to rest up before doing anything. I don't even think my doctor would do it, but I'm not going to deal with that now. I agree that BB is a place we need to literally keep our sanity.

 

Intend

[[an...]]

Intend, I was able to get through to the head of the psy dept where I go and explained the situation and said I did not want to wait until July to see my replacemnet doc. Especially since I can not find a specialist.  So he made an earlier appt for me to meet him!  Think it is June 5th.  So I have one more appt with my original psych doc the end of this month, then meet him on the 5th of June.  Just really want to meet him before I am stuck with him.  I know I don't really need an addiction specialist- I just need someone who is going to do it MY way, Ashton style only slower.  I don't want anyone telling me how to go about this, suggestions yes, but I need to be in control, you know what I mean? I was just hoping to find someone who knew SOMETHING about Benzo W/D because of all the symptoms that come up with it.  I am frightened.  I fired my GP and will file a formal complaint against him when I am well so I don't even have a GP for any medical problems that come up. Just really wanted someone who was Benzo Wise.  I do not think he will change anything that my old doc and I have set up.  He may even RX me the liquid Valium that I so badly want when I get down lower.  She would not do that.  I just feel so alone in this, except for you all here.  My friend today said she could't believe the trouble I was having trying to find someone to help me- if I had cancer there are specialists all over eager to help!!  God Bless us all in this journey!

[[In...]]

Well Angel,

 

I think you've done the right thing by getting that appt. On June 5th. And I think it will be fine. I understand how upsetting this is for sure, but I feel you've solved that problem so don't worry.

 

As far as the GP, just call the state medical association and ask who is taking patients in your area. Usually there's a new one around, maybe young, but good. That's how I got my husbands current internist. And he's very good.

 

I think you deserve a relaxing weekend. Just get in your hot tub, swim, do something with your hubby. Take it easy. You're getting things accomplished.

 

Intend

[[Fl...]]

Just sliding in here, Angel and Intend,

 

Re addiction specialists - in some ways, they are or can be less flexible than regular GPs. They have special training and that training can make them more "knowing" and set in a certain paradigm.

 

The doctor who ran my detox was a nice, interested guy. He treated homeless people and meth addicts gently and respectfully. The day I left, he told me that benzos were the hardest drug to stop taking and he had had virtually NO success with it. In fact, one of nurses who was a staff member at the detox facility had used that facility to try to come off benzos: She stayed off benzos, but started doing meth. This astonished me. She was a young, vibrant professional. You could tell she had lost all her teeth and was wearing dentures. We had a short conversation where she told me she just "couldn't get right with the world" after her detox and started meth as an escape.

 

But, as the doctor said, meth addicts can be cured.

 

The only way I made it through that detox experience was the promise of the new miracle drug suboxone. I had to be drug free for a certain length of time, then they could try suboxone for the pain. I even kept an appointment the day after detox with one of the few prescribers of suboxone in my area. They gave me a sheaf of papers to sign where I would agree to no use of many drugs, including some OTC and where I consented to random drug testing. Red flags raised. I had the presence of mind to stop the proceeding and leave without signing anything or taking my sample dose of suboxone.

 

All this, to say both these guys were addiction specialists of sorts. All they did day in and out was deal with addicts. They were helpless in the face of benzos.

 

My Primary gave me Librium in the next few days, trying to stop the visual hallucinations. His idea was a rapid 5 day taper. I barely remember this. I kept making calls. People seemed scared or unwilling to take me on as a patient. Finally I was sort of referred and sort of stumbled upon a psychiatrist - really, her compassionate receptionist, who got me in the very next day.

 

I sat in this lady's office and described how the walls were undulating with color and when I stood up, after my body reached full height, "I" kept going. I felt like I was about ceiling level. And when I closed my eyes, I was watching a slide show or a home movie, alternately. I couldn't see to read or sign anything, not even with the strongest of glasses. My husband was with me and did all the signatures.

 

I distinctly remember asking why I just couldn't go back on Valium and stay on it forever I had plenty at home. It wasn't like I was depending on them at that moment for drugs.  She said, "Because, Valium is a benzodiazepine. They are addicting. You will need more and more of it to get the same effect. Your organs will not be able to tolerate more and more and your health will become more compromised." I felt desperate and lost and communicated that.

 

In answer to the question of what the hell do I do, then? - she calmly told me we were going to reinstate at a dose slightly higher than I had been on and taper "slowly" over a period of weeks. She wasn't an addiction specialist. I'm very grateful to have found her.

 

And she has adjusted my tapering schedule many times, based on how I was doing. She doesn't use the Ashton method. Had not heard of it and isn't interested. She simply treats the patient. For the last 10 mg, she told me to go at my own pace. As long as I reduced each time, she was happy. She has told me she thinks what I'm taking now is a placebo, in effect, but if I'm convinced this is what I need, then it's true for me.

 

Well, sorry to go on. I think I just needed to say these things. My point was, specialists are not always beneficial to us. Sometimes, just a warm hearted person who can prescribe is what we need.

 

Thanks for listening. 

Flip

[[In...]]

Flip,

 

I'm glad to read what you just wrote. I agree again with the addiction specialist idea. It is upsetting to think that so many (probably most) here in the US don't understand it, or perhaps it is what you said, no success in getting people off benzos.

 

I was so happy when the pharmacist gave me the name of a doctors practice just literally around my area here that was helping people off benzos. When I called, they were confused, but then said "oh you must mean Dr. Ponce." I knew he was the specialist so I said yes. Well he wasn't taking any patients at that clinic, but ran another, also very close to me. So I called, made the appt., and the suboxone subject just kept coming up.

 

I said I didn't need it cause this was not for opiates, but they were insistent. I decided to keep the appt. just to speak with him. The day before the appt., I got a call from the receptionist saying I needed to speak with their social worker to understand how I got hooked on these drugs. I said I knew how this happened and the suboxone issue came up again. I stated emphatically that i would not be taking something for opiate addiction when I wasn't even using opiates. By then, red flags were waving for me also.

 

The next morning, I just decided to cancel both the social worker appt. and the dr. appt. I called, and the receptionist was mad and said they specialized in suboxone and I would definitely need it, and if I also needed anxiety meds, they were also able to do that and did it all the time.

 

So much for this locally widely heralded addiction specialist. You are right. We just need a doctor willing to help us w/o their own agenda being more important.

 

Intend

[[Fl...]]

Intend - I also think there is a mindset of wariness or suspicion among the addictionologists  and really, who can blame them. They deal with people "jonesing" for meds every single day.

 

And it's probably not possible to convince them with words that we are serious. I think actions speak louder to them and all medical professionals, don't you? When we approach this with confidence and have a game plan in mind, they are more likely to assist us on our journey. I've had more success with my doctor by telling her what I thought would work for me than being weepy and submissive and doing whatever she thought I should do.

 

ADs are a good example. She has mentioned several. In fact, she did try lamictal and trazadone. I tried them each for 2 doses and wasn't comfortable with the effects. Now, when she mentions one, I say I'm not resistant, but that I want to be off benzos and find out what's underneath the benzos. This seems to satisfy her.

 

They have guidelines or benchmarks when evaluating us. Being in the profession you're  in, I'm sure you are more aware of this than I. Even simple things like grooming can be a red flag. I was practically in pajamas the first time I saw her and my hair was long unwashed, simply because I couldn't do it. I make sure I'm clean, at least, when I see her. She has commented that I am looking better pyhsically. 

 

As far as crossing to Valium, Intend, I can only imagine what a quandary you must be in. Yes you get the longer half life. But then you have to contend with the metabolite issue that Xanax apparently doesn't have. And you have to risk another adverse reaction like you had with K. You're in uncharted waters, here.

 

I hope you will document everything while you can still remember it. It could be useful to others. Surely you aren't the only one in the world this has happened to, or will happen to.

 

And I hope you'll just rest and try to stabilize without experiencing the tolerance issues. You could use some rest! If you're like me, your mind is never very far away from the benzo issue. It seems to have taken up permanent residence in my brain.

 

Are you working today?

 

Flip

[[an...]]

Flip and Intend.  Well, seems you have opened my eyes to really not needing a specialist.  In one of my conversations with a nurse yesterday who runs an out patient clinic she mentioned they used that drug, suboxone- I had never heard of it before but when I looked it up it stated it was for opiate w/d.  Did they misunderstand me? I am sure I mentioned the word BENZOS several times.  ALL I WANT IS FOR SOMEONE TO KNOW about benzos and what I will be up against, someone who has some knowledge to help me through the rough patches.  Liquid, titration, different schedule?  Some help. . . I want someone kind and someone I can respect.  In the last 6 months I have been through hell, read my blog.  I was treated by robots that did not even look me in the eyes.  I was also misdiagnosed by a few differend doctors, if they had known anything about benzo w/d they would have seen that I was in classic ACUTE BENZO W/D, not a kind or compassionate professional talked to me like I was a person.  I was just a number in bed #4 and lined I up three times a day for my medication just like everyone else there.  Have you ever seen the movie, One Flew Over the Cucocs Nest? (don't know how to spell it.. I am sorry I am ranting and feeling sorry for myself today. Some days are just like that.  I'll try to make my day a more positive one.  God Bless you all!  Angelluv

[[In...]]

Flip and Angel,

 

I have worked today. Just got home and I am tired. And once again, I agree with what you have said about the addiction specialists, and just about everything else.

 

I too have had the experience with my doctor of her wanting to Rx me ADs. When I last went to her in Jan to go back on X, she was convinced I had adult onset ADHD and gave me some kind of verbal test requiring figuring and memory. After passing that test, she then was satisfied that I could go back on X. But it amazed me how she ready she was ready to put me on another drug when I was in some distress from the drug change in Nov.

 

I saw her again in April and this time it was her wanting me to see a neuropsychologist that she works with for the possibly still ADHD problem. I don't know if this is just about generating money as both doctors are not on my insurance plan or if this is really just a mindset about giving more pills to help with problems caused by pills. Of course, there still is a denial about there being any real problem with benzos other than some recognition of how hard they are to come off of. This is the original doctor who Rxed the X, and the one who has seen my husband for his TBI for years.

 

She and I have had a good relationship over the years, but we have often disagreed also. And you are right; one does have to present to the doctor with a certain amount of knowledge about ones own situation. Right now, I am planning on trying to just rest and stabilize. I see her in the fall, and will formulate some plan by then or sooner I hope. I have a feeling that I can get some cooperation from her if I say I just plain want off this stuff. But I can't be rushing right now as I know my mind literally can't take any more changes right now.

 

And the benzo issue is always on my mind now. Angel, I know we all want the same thing as you say; just some respect and kindness. I have seen "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" several times and believe me there is no need to be treated like that. There is still a lot of resistance to acknowledging how benzos affect the brain, so I suppose we all need to be prepared to "explain" some of this to doctors. And appearance and demeanor are very important when speaking with any doctor, a psychitrist or any other kind. They do gauge a person by the way they act, speak, question, dress. That's very hard on us going through w/d when fatigue and often fear rule the situation.

Signing off for now.

 

Intend

 

 

[[ka...]]

hi im 55 years young and im 10 months out withdrawls are mild and my life is getting back to normal was on 0.5 grams xanax twice aday for 1 year taper 1 month bad idea but im glad in off those evil little pills thanks for posting this club ....kate7

[[La...]]

Hi, I popped in early on in this thread and was just reading some more of it tonight and thought I would give some background about my life to anyone interested in reading some of my story.

I am getting low in my taper , down to 6 mg from 30 mg of temazepam and a c/t of Ativan.  I am still struggling with insomnia and on and off breathing difficulties, blurry vision in the evening and some on and off labile emotions. I find I am thinking of my past and allot of the poor choices I made over the years mainly related to alcohol but also the benzos although at the time I didn't know it.

I actually had a wonderful childhood and I know some will find this hard to accept but I was molested twice when very young and never told anyone about it till I was much older. but I still consider myself to have a great childhood. The first molestation was by a stranger and the second the father of a friend.

My parents were very loving and caring, rarely argued, didn't drink, and I had a very stable childhood barring the two incidents. I do wonder now if the molestation in any way impacted the rest of my life and my alcohol abuse and subsequent benzo use. and relationship issues.

I was in a very loving marriage and have two wonderful adult sons, but I had an affair and divorced their father,  a huge mistake as he  was a wonderfull husband and father. Second marriage to an alcoholic, office romance, had an affair, divorced , married present husband, alcoholic, non supportive, emotionally abusive, cold and non caring, we live like brother and sister , rarely communicate. During this third marriage my elderly father became seriously ill with heart problems, was in hospital for over 6 months, had 4 major surgeries. I spent up to 12 hrs a day at the hospital with my mother, many times we were told he was dying, he himself begged us to let him die and then he would change his mind and the will to live overcame all odds and he came home. My elderly mother waited on him hand and foot and 6 months later she passed away.  3 weeks following my mothers death, my father, who could hardly get up from his bed, got himself a passport and booked a flight to England to meet up with a woman he dated during WW2!!!!! Not only did I just lose my mother , now my father was up and leaving for England, I had no time to grieve, and all I had was severe anger and my emotions were just all over the map. Horrible , horrible time but actually I was glad to have the benzos to get me through it all. I was also drinking heavily to help me deal with all the emotional roller coaster of my life .

When I got through the anger stage I was able to grieve my mothers death to some degree and that's when I decided to work on getting my life in order, I quit drinking cold turkey , had to, only way for me. that was in 2008, been sober ever since. Last year I sustained an bad injury to my shoulder during a fall, had to take a leave from work, spent agonizing nights in pain, up all night and realized that the benzos were not helping me sleep any longer, decide to stop taking them, in Dec c/t off Ativan, in Feb of this year started my taper off temazepam. The first few weeks were horrendous, no sleep, night sweats , vivid dreams, cog fog, eyelid twitch,  trouble breathing, heavy aching leg muscles, very labile emotionally, anger, tears, no short term memory BUT, I am getting better every day for the most part. I still have insomnia, no longer have night sweats or nighmares. eyelid has stopped twitching, heaviness in thighs is gone, my memory is improving by leaps and bounds, I have occasional breathing probs, and my emotions are stabilizing.

I am basically going through this on my own, my husband couldn't really care less, he just sits in an alcoholic fog most nights and when he is sober his attitude is one of total indifference and walks away if and when I mention any thing about what I am going through.

Strange as this seems, I do love life, I appreciate being alive still after what I have put my body through, I have not been depressed or suffered any of the mental anguishes others have experienced in withdrawal.

I have started a yoga class and I am trying to take some time to meditate, just being calm in myself, in the moment , its the only life we have , what is in the past stays there, the future is unknown, what we have is this moment in time, every moment to savor fully and appreciate, mindfullness, if you will, for years I was mindless, but now that's changing, its time for me to concentrate on ME.

I so appreciate this community of caring supportive individuals and  want to thank you all for being here for all of us.

[[Fl...]]

Ladygrace, you have been through quite allot.  It really seems like you are at a place of peace now with yourself.  I think many of us are at that place where we no longer use alcohol or anything else to deal with life.  I appreciate your sharing your story with us.  I also am sorry you are not getting more support on the home front.  You will find support here on BB.  I deal with breathing issues also and that can be challenging. I'm glad some of your other sx have dropped off and hope you continue to heal. I'm so glad you are taking a yoga class.  I really want to do yoga and Tai Chi but haven't gotten to it yet.

wishing you wellness & blessings,

FB

[[an...]]

Ladygrace, wow, your story really affected me, I have tears. . . You have been through quite a lot.  I am sorry you husband is not more supportive of you at this time when you could use it- well, you do have all of us here!  You have an amazing attitude and spirit that comes through your story and I think you are one brave and strong woman.  I would imagine that the molestations did affect your life in a negative way more than you realized.  You are getting well and you love life, that is all that matters right now.  God Bless you, Angelluv

[[mt...]]

HI Ladygrace,

Thank you for trusting us with your story.  It appears you are in a period of "rebirth" and reclaiming your life.  Birth is always a painful process but in the end brings new life and great joy.  I send you my blessings for continued healing.  May you find the love and appreciation you deserve for all your dedication and perseverence in your quest to heal.  You have come far and I am sure your sweet mother is watching over you.  Keep up the good work.  Transformation comes in tiny steps.  One foot after the other and eventually you will be wherever your dreams take you.

 

All my best to you

Mimi

[[Fl...]]

Welcome Kate7. Congrats on being free of benzos!  How awesome is that! I am also glad to hear your wd are very low and your life is getting back to normal.  this gives us all hope to keep moving forward.  I am so glad you stopped by and hope to talk to you again,

blessings,

FB

[[on...]]

"Too Young" by Nat King Cole was the number 1 hit in the U.S. on my birthday and, despite the title,  that absolutely makes me eligible!  Is it too late to sign up for Disney World?