You will heal too!

[[Go...]]

I am starting to feel better after a dose reduction.  Is it possible that one feels less withdraw effects even during tolerance withdraw when doing down on small dose amounts?

Are you absolutely sure you're in tolerance wd?  Most people in tolerance never experience any periods of feeling better. Sounds like pretty good wd for now.

 

I think it's absolutely terrific that you are feeling better right now btw! 

 

Hope it stays this way!!!

 

Cedar

 

I actually think it is getting worse.  I was so dizzy this weekend I couldn't move.  We went into a store and i had a panic attack.  My husband is starting to get frustrated with me.  I am working but I can't formulate a thought and don't think I can make it much longer.  I Couldent even remember what my dose was today.  I have pretty far to go and am lost as to how to proceed.  I just want to get this over with.  I am debating whether I should go back to cut and hold and just retire. 

 

Do you have any words of wisdom?  Thank you so much.

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

Okay, my word of wisdom is this. There is only one way out of this. One. That is to keep tapering and get off benzo's for good. Yes it sucks, yes it's hell on you, hell on your family, etc. But I cannot begin to tell you how healthy I am now, how free I am, how amazing it is to not be sick and drugged everyday of my life. Insomnia is a thing of the past. On benzo's it was terrible.  On benzo's I was not myself. I was a drugged, sick, mess. That's really all there is to it. Stay the course and keep pressing forward, otherwise you remain sick and drugged for however long you keep taking it. Benzo's don't solve anything and you're not really living IMHO if you are bound to them.

[[Sk...]]

Cedar is rite.  We must get off of the benzos and not just hold doses for months just to stay on them.

[[st...]]

Okay, my word of wisdom is this. There is only one way out of this. One. That is to keep tapering and get off benzo's for good. Yes it sucks, yes it's hell on you, hell on your family, etc. But I cannot begin to tell you how healthy I am now, how free I am, how amazing it is to not be sick and drugged everyday of my life. Insomnia is a thing of the past. On benzo's it was terrible.  On benzo's I was not myself. I was a drugged, sick, mess. That's really all there is to it. Stay the course and keep pressing forward, otherwise you remain sick and drugged for however long you keep taking it. Benzo's don't solve anything and you're not really living IMHO if you are bound to them.

 

I needed to read these words of wisdom, thank you so much Cedar. It's day 11 of my last cut and the last couple of days have been horrible. Usually I feel the worst on days four through 10 or so but today is the worst so far this time. I was crying to my husband today that I don't know how much longer I can stand to be this way. I am totally agoraphobic and sick. He said I should just cold turkey the rest of the doses but I need to be able to at least get my granddaughter ready for school every day. I read about people stablizing but I never seem to get there. I never feel ok before the next taper even if I hold for over thirty days. I guess I have to just keep on moving forward and hope that some day I will actually "heal". You're an inspiration.

 

Thanks again, Cedar. 

Stevie

[[ce...]]

Hi SZ and Stevie. 

 

Stevie, I'm guessing your husband doesn't understand that tapering is necessary and that's why he said to just stop.  But unless you've lived it yourself it's impossible to understand that you can't just "stop" taking benzo's.  You think you feel bad now? It can get worse and you can risk seizures and protracted wd.  It's not worth it. Stay strong for your granddaughter. She's worth it. 

[[Go...]]

Cedar

 

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom.  I have been sick since before the first cut so today I made a management decision.  I am taking charge.  Since I feel sick no mater what I do I decided to increase my cut to an average of .06 mg per day (1.8 mg per month).  I just need to get off.  I am sick so i am just going to plow forward and you know what I somehow feel happier.  Also, I haven't had stomach pain in 4 days.  Now I have been pretty dizzy, can't think or sleep but I am just going to move forward.

 

I will assess as I go but somehow I feel mor in charge and less fearfu.

 

Thanks again

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

Hi Golden. How are you doing today?  I know you've had it and are really rushing things, but I personally don't think that's a good idea.  All I can say is I hope you're alright. If it gets worse, please slow down again.

 

Lots of love,

Cedar 

[[Sk...]]

Hi Cedar.  Just wanted to thank you again for pushing me on the right path.  I am doing well now.  I am tapering via milk titration @2% down every 5 days, with hold if needed.  So far I haven't had to hold though.  Good day to you my friend!   

[[Go...]]

Hi Cedar

 

Thanks for your words of caution.  I have increased a little bit (average of .06 mg per day).  I don't feel any worse.  I do know that I will have to slow down again and plan on the end being quite a bit slower.  Even with this increase I won't be done until the end of August.  This seems insane to me.  That will mean that I will have tapered for 23 months.  That just seems unbelievable to me.  I will be cautious.

 

I am lower in dose.  Tomorrow will be 8 mg.  did you have any windows before the end of your taper?  I know you said you really didn't feel good until you were off,

 

Thanks for your concern and input.  I will watch it.

 

Golden

[[ce...]]

Hi Cedar.  Just wanted to thank you again for pushing me on the right path.  I am doing well now.  I am tapering via milk titration @2% down every 5 days, with hold if needed.  So far I haven't had to hold though.  Good day to you my friend! 

Fantastic!!!  I love good news like this. You're going to be A-okay Skyzone! 

[[ce...]]

Hi Cedar

 

Thanks for your words of caution.  I have increased a little bit (average of .06 mg per day).  I don't feel any worse.  I do know that I will have to slow down again and plan on the end being quite a bit slower.  Even with this increase I won't be done until the end of August.  This seems insane to me.  That will mean that I will have tapered for 23 months.  That just seems unbelievable to me.  I will be cautious.

 

I am lower in dose.  Tomorrow will be 8 mg.  did you have any windows before the end of your taper?  I know you said you really didn't feel good until you were off,

 

Thanks for your concern and input.  I will watch it.

 

Golden

I completely agree. It is insane that a little pill would do this to us. I really want to see you free from this and feeling better. No one should have to go through this.

 

Much love to you Golden!!! 

[[st...]]

my last cut, the smallest I made so far, is worse than the larger cuts. I have no idea why. I feel horrible and am so discouraged and tired. But I have to remind myself "you will heal too!". And I will.

Stevie :'(

[[ce...]]

my last cut, the smallest I made so far, is worse than the larger cuts. I have no idea why. I feel horrible and am so discouraged and tired. But I have to remind myself "you will heal too!". And I will.

Stevie :'(

Yes Stevie. the smaller the cuts, the more difficult it was for me too.  I can only imagine my body was pretty pissed off at not being drugged after 20 years of it. It went into shock I think! 

 

At least as time goes by recovery happens.  It just sucks how long it takes!!! 

 

Much love,

Cedar

[[ha...]]

God bless you for still being there for us all who are on our way,  Can not tell you how much it means to hear you got your self and your life back.

I will not give up.  This solo mom of two is determid to beat beast and be alive fully again.

today struggeling to stay awake.

Was sleeping in the day with insomnia at night,.  Not able to function for my kids.  Yesterday stayed awake all day and felt a glorious window.

today so tired (it is after eating that I can hardly stay awake.

I fell asleep on the couch after lunch.  Am writing --trying my best to wake up and stay awake till bedtime.

Please I pray to be stronger than its pull,

 

Again, thanks, not that many positive stories to give that crucial enocouragement.  Courage.

hanging in there

[[Sk...]]

Hey Cedar.  Hope you are well.  I am currently tapering down 2% every 5 days.  I feel great.  I was thinking of taking it a bit faster with doing 2% dose reductions every 3-4 days.  I am scared of developing tolerance withdraw going this slow.  What do you think? 

 

Thanks!  http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/thanks/animated-thank-you-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

-SZ-

[[...]]

Hey SZ

I look at it this way. Tolerance withdrawal can be seen as not enough benzo to provide for total GABA receptor activity. It can develop while you're on benzos because they may get less effective, may be metabolized more readily, or whatever, and more importantly, there are fewer and fewer functional GABA receptors on which to bind due to down-regulation. In short, not enough GABA receptor activity and unopposed stimulatory activity. In withdrawal from benzos we create the same condition as in tolerance withdrawal i.e.  not enough total GABA receptor activity by the progressive removal of benzos. So, you will not develop tolerance withdrawal during benzo withdrawal because you are already in it! You would have to hold for a very long time to run the risk of re -developing the problem. Hope this makes sense.

 

Bart

[[Sk...]]

Thanks Bart!  It does make sense. 

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/thanks/bow-down-thank-you-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

[[ce...]]

Hey Cedar.  Hope you are well.  I am currently tapering down 2% every 5 days.  I feel great.  I was thinking of taking it a bit faster with doing 2% dose reductions every 3-4 days.  I am scared of developing tolerance withdraw going this slow.  What do you think? 

 

Thanks!  http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/thanks/animated-thank-you-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

-SZ-

You really want to know what I think?  I think that if you are doing well, then don't speed it up.  I mean don't.  I do NOT believe you will develop tolerance wd. You're tapering and that's the right thing to do.  Stay the course, don't rush it.  When people get overconfidant and rush things that's when they run into problems. 

 

I'm really happy you're doing well btw!  Great news!!! 

[[ce...]]

God bless you for still being there for us all who are on our way,  Can not tell you how much it means to hear you got your self and your life back.

I will not give up.  This solo mom of two is determid to beat beast and be alive fully again.

today struggeling to stay awake.

Was sleeping in the day with insomnia at night,.  Not able to function for my kids.  Yesterday stayed awake all day and felt a glorious window.

today so tired (it is after eating that I can hardly stay awake.

I fell asleep on the couch after lunch.  Am writing --trying my best to wake up and stay awake till bedtime.

Please I pray to be stronger than its pull,

 

Again, thanks, not that many positive stories to give that crucial enocouragement.  Courage.

hanging in there

Hey Hanginginthere!  Great name btw! Sometimes that's all you can do. Stay strong and hang in!

 

Much love,

Cedar 

[[Sk...]]

Hey Cedar.  Hope you are well.  I am currently tapering down 2% every 5 days.  I feel great.  I was thinking of taking it a bit faster with doing 2% dose reductions every 3-4 days.  I am scared of developing tolerance withdraw going this slow.  What do you think? 

 

Thanks!  http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/thanks/animated-thank-you-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

-SZ-

 

You really want to know what I think?  I think that if you are doing well, then don't speed it up.  I mean don't.  I do NOT believe you will develop tolerance wd. You're tapering and that's the right thing to do.  Stay the course, don't rush it.  When people get overconfidant and rush things that's when they run into problems. 

 

I'm really happy you're doing well btw!  Great news!!! 

Thanks Cedar 

 

I will continue my current taper plan that is working.

[[Ma...]]

Cedar, I read ur posts frequently and they are very helpful.  My last remaining symptom is insomnia.  It has improved.  I feel sometimes I am turning the corner only to go back to very poor sleep for a period.  This is very frustrating.  I am 14 weeks off of Xanax.  Did u find ur sleep was up and down or was it a gradual progression.  How was ur sleep at 3 to 4 months off.  Thanks so much ans I wish everyone great success in 2013.        Mark

[[ce...]]

Hi Mark. My sleep was pretty up and down. But it was still very awful at 4 months off. It took a long time for this to get better, but it did.  It is very frustrating to say the least.  Sorry you're suffering. Congrats being off Xanax btw. Everyday you're off, you're getting better. 

 

Hugs,

Cedar

[[ha...]]

Cedar tree

 

God bless you for giving this hope to the ones like me who are in a hopeless place and feeling helpless..

 

can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you are back in the living.  Thanks for the hope.

 

hanging in there

[[ce...]]

Cedar tree

 

God bless you for giving this hope to the ones like me who are in a hopeless place and feeling helpless..

 

can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you are back in the living.  Thanks for the hope.

 

hanging in there

Ahh... Hanginginthere. Thank you for this.

 

Hope you are getting better.

 

Love your heart avatar!   

 

[[Sk...]]

Hey, Cedar.  How are you?