An experience like no other

[[pa...]]

Our Dearest PJ,

 

With a tear in my eye, you will be so missed.  With your creative way of expression in words, you have enlightened so many, not just with wonder, but with strength and courage.  I commend you for lending this to one and all.

 

Thank you for welcoming me to the "Story"... you'll never understand the strength I gained within myself having that wonder to look forward to each day.  I'm just so sorry, due to situations, as you understand, that I could not continue.  It truly was wonderful.  What an inspiration you are to others.

 

I share these with you:

 

We're on a planet called Earth, suspended in outer space

One by one, we found this special place

Little did we know, we would become entwined

From a journey that is so unkind

Each one prevails to that healing door

Then they are able to say no more

They feel fine, they feel safe and life awaits.

 

My last to you, is something that has always been so special to me:

 

"May the road rise up to meet you

May the wind be always be at your back

May the Sunshine warm your face

And the rains fall soft upon your fields

And until we meet again

May God hold you in the palm of his hand"

 

Where ever that special, magical next plane of life is, we will all be brought together...  Then, we will meet again.

 

The very, very best to you always dear friend.. "Happy trails to you until we meet again"!

 

Love, Pattylu  :smitten:

 

(P.S.  Then you will be able to tell us... "Were you a published writer".  Yep, sure you are!  ;)

[[mp...]]

Fare thee well my gracious friend.

 

M. 

[[pr...]]

pj,

 

thank you so much for all your kind and gracious help! you will be sorely missed :'(

 

love, pretty

[[Ja...]]

I wish you only the best. You will be missed 

[[ja...]]

So long ... goodbye ... farewell ... exit stage left. 

 

It means the same.  It means we are leaving.  Sooner or later, we all leave BenzoBuddies.  We leave knowing that this place will always be in good hands, because all the folks who have ever been a part of this great site, are some of society's finest. 

 

It's time for me step away from this unique place.  A place that has meant so much to me since that day three years ago when I stumbled upon BenzoBuddies.  Another lost soul ... hurting, and confused ... a victim of Benzodiazepines. 

 

Because of all the kind, unique, and marvelous folks that I have met here, my life has been enriched in so many wonderful ways.   

 

I wanted to say goodbye, because it always concerned me when folks who were here for a very long time, left without saying a word.  Mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghost ship. Never to be heard from again.  I guess they left as quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary, not wanting to ever again, relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals.  Maybe that's the way it's suppose to be.   

 

Many of those kind folks, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of your heart with them.  They have also taken a piece of my heart with them.  I often wonder, and I often ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"  "Are they okay?"

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.

 

Being here has confirmed my belief in just how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.

 

Their wounded, and weakened spirit may have cracked a little, but it never broke, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed at something ... like recovering from benzo withdrawals.   

   

BenzoBuddies has supported people when no one else in their life would or could support them.  It has been an honor for me to have been able to have played a small part in that support.

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or you have been here for awhile, take heart.  You are going to heal.

 

As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal. 

 

Wherever that ever-changing road of life leads you - I wish you the very best.

 

pj 

PJ...

 

You and I have pretty much been through this together and you have given me the most heartfelt and everlasting words of encouragement when I needed them the most.

 

Your time here has made a difference to many. But for me Youve blessed me with your kind heart..

Be well my friend and Im sure It wont be long before im right behind you.. Your very special person and Please dont ever let Life get you down..

 

Xo~Jenny

[[tu...]]

PJ:

 

You have given so much to this forum.  What a gift you have been to all of us needing validation and support during our healing.  Thank you is not a big enough word for all the encouraging posts and PMs you have directed my way, but I will say it anyway "thank you".  I will never hear the name PJ without smiling and thinking of horses and imagining the kindest soul - a treasured friend.  I am so grateful to have crossed paths with you.  I wish you only the best and I am sure being the person that you are, that you will find it. 

 

Love,

Turtlegirl

[[pi...]]

pj,

 

I'm sad and happy at the same time. You are a special person with a giant heart.  What you have done to help members here, well, I can't even put it into words. I wish you all the happiness life has to offer.

 

Yes, we all move on at some point, I know I will as well.  There will be a empty seat at the table here though without your presence.  You have made a huge impact on BB and our members and I am honored to have known you, even virtually.

 

PG 

[[...]]

I was thinking about how fate often brings people together.

 

If Colin, a gentleman known for his honesty, his integrity, and his patience, had never started this unique website, all of us, and the thousands of other folks who have come and gone from here throughout the years, would have missed out on an incredible, life-changing experience.  I tip my hat to you, kind sir. 

 

If the friends in my life could see me now, they would not believe their eyes.  The guy they always thought of as the rock that would never crumble or break, has been humbled, and brought to his knees, not by a miscreant roaming the mean streets, but by the strength of words written to me by you folks, God's Angels, who live and love right here on beautiful Planet Earth.     

 

All of your heartfelt words have cast a warm glow on the deepest recesses of my soul, a place where I have never been before.  Your words have touched me deeply.   

 

I Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 

 

May the Bluebird of happiness be your constant companion as you enjoy all the delightful sights and sounds of the upcoming summer.  May the warm, gentle summer wind chase away all your cares and concerns. 

 

To you who are still following that long, winding path that will lead you to a  complete and lasting recovery - a journey that is often fraught with many ups and downs, and twists and turns -  may acceptance and patience be your guide. 

 

May peace and contentment be your friend. 

 

May all your dreams and wishes come true, making your happiness soar higher than even the mighty Eagle dares to fly.

 

May you always light up someone's life with your smile.

 

A smile costs nothing but gives much.  It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give.  It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. 

 

None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it.  Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. 

 

Some people are too tired to give you a smile.  Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much than he who has no more to give.

 

- author unknown - 

 

ama - New Journey - hope56 - gettingthere - Galea - Conzumed - stillstuck- patty - m - prettydaisys- Jazzy - Jenny - turtlegirl - pianogirl - 

 

Your words of kindness will follow me every day of my life.

 

A happy and healthy life to you all. 

 

pj  

[[Te...]]

A beautifully written story, PJ! I'm so happy for your success!

[[...]]

Thank you for your kind words, Terry.  I wish you much success and happiness.

 

pj

 

 

 

[[Fl...]]

PJ, I'm going to miss you. I'll miss your humor, yes, but I think, most of all, I will miss your generous heart and your amazing capacity for empathy. I have always been so profoundly respectful of the way you took the time to carefully, graciously and honestly answer the many questions and cries of help.

 

And there will never be an OU/Fighting Irish game that you don't come fondly to my mind.

 

This decision is a healthy one, I think. I'm sure we will all follow suit in time. You have been of valuable and honorable service here.

 

I wish for you much happiness, much success, amazing relationships and complete engagement in life. I hope your life is lived with meaning and imagination and passion up until the very last second!

 

If karma is real, then you, my friend have many rewards waiting for you.

Go boldly!

Love,

Flip

 

[[St...]]

Dear PJ,

 

Like so many others I can only express how much you will be missed.  I understand your moving on in life, wishing you the best.

 

I thank you for the kind and supportive posts you made to me.  You always gave me such hope to my own healing, being that you were also a c/t as myself. 

 

You have a gift of words PJ, I loved reading how you expressed yourself to so many.  Your words were so comforting and soothing. Those posts will be so greatly missed.

 

Move on to your real life and live it fully.  I hope you all the happiness and health you so deserve.

Your story is here to help all that follow and need your words to hold on to until they also recover, as we all do. I am so close myself, most days I am sx free and living life fully.

 

Thank you again for being you, one special man you are most definitely,

love,

Sally 

[[Fr...]]

Dear PJ,

 

Thanks for posting your success story.  It gives me great hope as I have had a similar experience to the one you describe, with all the weird symptoms, not feeling well and not having anything conclusive come of doctor appointments.  My illness began quite the same way.

 

I'm so happy you recovered from that long drawn out ordeal.  You sure persevered and made it through to the wonder.  What a relief.

 

Enjoy your life ahead!

[[...]]

PJ, I'm going to miss you. I'll miss your humor, yes, but I think, most of all, I will miss your generous heart and your amazing capacity for empathy. I have always been so profoundly respectful of the way you took the time to carefully, graciously and honestly answer the many questions and cries of help.

 

And there will never be an OU/Fighting Irish game that you don't come fondly to my mind.

 

This decision is a healthy one, I think. I'm sure we will all follow suit in time. You have been of valuable and honorable service here.

 

I wish for you much happiness, much success, amazing relationships and complete engagement in life. I hope your life is lived with meaning and imagination and passion up until the very last second!

 

If karma is real, then you, my friend have many rewards waiting for you.

Go boldly!

Love,

Flip

 

 

Hi Flip,

 

I'm going to proclaim you to be Oklahoma's favorite daughter.  If Will Rogers, Oklahoma's favorite son were still living, he would definitely concur with that proclamation.  He could always spot a class act.

 

Thank you for the memories, Flip. One memory that stays with me is when you told the story on the childhood memories thread where you talked about being a little girl ( I bet you were a real cutie) sitting on a sack of grain, while you steered your dad's truck.  A Norman Rockwell moment, for sure. 

 

Peace and happiness to you and yours, forever.

 

pj

 

 

 

[[...]]

Dear PJ,

 

Like so many others I can only express how much you will be missed.  I understand your moving on in life, wishing you the best.

 

I thank you for the kind and supportive posts you made to me.  You always gave me such hope to my own healing, being that you were also a c/t as myself. 

 

You have a gift of words PJ, I loved reading how you expressed yourself to so many.  Your words were so comforting and soothing. Those posts will be so greatly missed.

 

Move on to your real life and live it fully.  I hope you all the happiness and health you so deserve.

Your story is here to help all that follow and need your words to hold on to until they also recover, as we all do. I am so close myself, most days I am sx free and living life fully.

 

Thank you again for being you, one special man you are most definitely,

love,

Sally 

 

Hi Sally,

 

Your going cold turkey caused you to suffer greatly.  I am so happy to read that you are getting close to the finish line, close enough to being almost ready to declare yourself a winner over benzos, an opponent you have fought so long and so hard to defeat, an opponent who does not fight fair.

 

Sally, me and Dixie, my faithful German Shepherd who I got from an animal shelter, went for a long walk last week beside a meandering creek below the hills that were alive with the magical sights and sounds of Springtime.  I find that walking or riding on a horse is a wonderful way to clear one's mind and appreciate all of the beauty entrusted to us by our creator.     

 

I stopped to listen to the songbirds singing songs so beautiful, that Mozart, had he been there with me, would have been compelled to sit down upon one of nature's chairs, a tree stump, and let his mind absorb every enchanting note that was floating through the trees. 

 

I stopped to watch the red squirrels who were searching for the acorns that they buried last Fall.  I heard the rat-a-tat-tat of the Downy Woodpeckers searching for insects beneath the bark of the aging trees.

 

Me and Dixie were not walking alone, Sally.  You and all the other folks who have not yet healed, were walking there with us in spirit.  Before the next Springtime arrives, you, and many other kind folks will be walking somewhere just as beautiful as the place where me and Dixie were walking ... not in spirit, but in person ... healed and happy.

 

You will be as free as the butterfly who escaped from it's cocoon which had imprisoned it in darkness for such a very long time.  You, and everyone else, just like that butterfly, will also escape from the darkness of the benzo withdrawals that have imprisoned all of you for such a very long time. 

 

Freedom, how sweet it is.

 

Peace and happiness to you and your family.

 

pj 

[[...]]

Dear PJ,

 

Thanks for posting your success story.  It gives me great hope as I have had a similar experience to the one you describe, with all the weird symptoms, not feeling well and not having anything conclusive come of doctor appointments.  My illness began quite the same way.

 

I'm so happy you recovered from that long drawn out ordeal.  You sure persevered and made it through to the wonder.  What a relief.

 

Enjoy your life ahead!

 

Hi Free,

 

Thank you for your kind words to me.

 

My going to the doctor over and over again, and never getting an answer as to what was wrong with me, was mentally harder on me than some of the withdrawal symptoms were.  I can totally relate to all that you are dealing with.  If I could be granted just one wish, it would be that no one ever had to experience withdrawals from benzos.

 

When I discovered that all my strange symptoms were caused by the benzos, I was positively elated, because once I knew the reason why I had all those symptoms, they were much easier to accept, and to cope with.

 

The only people who really do understand how painful, and devastating withdrawals can be, are the folks who have had them.  Friends and family, trying to be kind, may say that they understand, but unless they have felt the pain or dealt with the mental anguish that are synonymous with withdrawals, they just can not understand. 

 

Thankfully there is a BenzoBuddies.  The folks here do understand.  Because they do understand, no one has to suffer all alone. 

 

I sincerely wish you the very best, and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

 

pj 

[[Mo...]]

Hi PJ,

i just realized it is time to say good bye, we don't know each other well, we met

on Nina's (cowdung) thread remember ? i shall be bumping your success story

now and again, in order to give others hope.

all the best to you and thank you, you are a very special person.

ciao Claudia.

[[...]]

Hi Claudia,

 

Of course I remember you.    You were always so kind and patient when answering Nina's pleas for help.  I admired you very much for being that way. 

 

I'm not so very special, Claudia, but thank you for saying so.  We are all brothers and sisters seeking the same things from life.  We all need love.  We all need understanding.  We all need kindness.  If we can find these things, happiness will follow.

 

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around.  - Leo Buscaglia -

 

Thank you for acknowledging my departure from this unique and wonderful place.  I will miss it.  But, there comes a time when we all must move on to other things in our life.  My time is now.

 

Have a good day today, and an even better day tomorrow.   

 

pj

 

[[ca...]]

Congratulations on your complete healing PJ, and thank you so much for coming back here to help those of us that continue to suffer.

 

I wish you much love and continued healing,

Causing

[[ma...]]

Oh PJ!!

 

I am going to miss you so much :'( I do understand that we all will leave here one day. You are a wonderful, caring  funny talented guy and I feel privileged to have met you.  You have helped so many members here, me included and I know how grateful we all are to you.  We had such fun didn't we!! I will never forget you.

 

My wish for you is to have a wonderful life, you deserve all the best things life has to offer.

 

love

 

Margo

[[...]]

Congratulations on your complete healing PJ, and thank you so much for coming back here to help those of us that continue to suffer.

 

I wish you much love and continued healing,

Causing

 

Thank you, Causing you are very kind.  I hope you are soon healed and I hope that you have a happy and healthy life.

 

I wish you much love, too.

 

pj

[[...]]

Oh PJ!!

 

I am going to miss you so much :'( I do understand that we all will leave here one day. You are a wonderful, caring  funny talented guy and I feel privileged to have met you.  You have helped so many members here, me included and I know how grateful we all are to you.  We had such fun didn't we!! I will never forget you.

 

My wish for you is to have a wonderful life, you deserve all the best things life has to offer.

 

love

 

Margo

 

 

Hi Margo,  

 

I will miss you, too.

 

Yes, we sure did have fun.  Sometimes, while reading the posts on the party thread, I would get to laughing so hard, I could barely catch my breath.  Laughing like we did was good medicine.  I think it made us forget about the withdrawals for awhile. 

 

Writing the 'cowboy story' with pattylu and hanna is something I will never forget.  And then there was the chicken story.  So many fun times, it's hard to recall them all.

 

I have crossed paths with many wonderful folks in this world, Margo, and I must say that you are one of the most gentle, the most kind, and one of the most genuinely nicest people I have ever met.

     

Wherever you go in life, and whatever you do, may the sweet Angels of peace and happiness always be by your side.

 

pj

[[Fl...]]

Reason, Season, Lifetime

 

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

 

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

 

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

 

PJ, you are all of these, even the lifetime, because you shared with us all  your profound gentleness, deep empathy, high creative playfulness, and enormous strength of character.  I'll carry these lessons with me. I'll put to use what I've learned from you. I'm grateful. We are all grateful.

 

Auvoir, Friend.  :'(

Flip

[[...]]

Flip,

 

Every day, we are given 86 thousand and 400 precious seconds along with the freedom to do or say whatever we want with them.  This evening I choose to use one of those seconds to say to you - the two most important words that I know ... "Thank You" 

 

pj

 

[[Su...]]

pj,

 

It is sad to say goodbye.   I guess it would be selfish of me to wish that you would stick around longer.

I always liked to stop by your place when I needed encouragement from a guy who always knew the right things to say.  It was okay to cry or laugh....or kick up my heels when I felt like being a kid, again.  You stir something inside people that makes us really stop and think about the things that really matter in life.

 

Thank you for caring about the suffering of others, and reaching out with warmth and kindness that makes us all feel like 'Everything is going to be alright'.

 

I'll never forget you....friend !

 

Love always,

Sunny girl