I Look LIke Hell

[[su...]]

I feel like I have to put make up on everywhere I go  just to look NORMAL!!! and not have people stare

 

Lol!  I feel like a prostitute when I wear make-up now since I don't normally bother to put it on at home anyway.  But I have a sign hanging on my mirror that says "Put on a little lipstick...you'll be fine"!!   

[[Mi...]]

Welcome Recover, Jenn and Sunnygirll!

 

I'd say sit down and gab a cup of coffee but coffee is off my list.  Ditto alcohol and sugar.  I don't have anything else to give up.  Hate to feel this schadenfreude but am a wee bit glad I'm not the only one who looks like they have gone to hell.  Misery loves company.  Sunnygirl, yes a dab of lipstick and big dark sunglasses help!  Jenn, I can so relate to the frizzy hair thing.  My hair used to be so limp I used the lightest conditioners around if I used any at all.  Now I have to use the deep moisturizing stuff, add a frizz control before blowdrying and then use a little spritz of sleek n shine product.  Even with all this heavy duty grease, hair is flying off my head the next time I look.  Let me be Holly Golightly and say "This is too TOO gruesome!"

 

But I do look forward to the time when I am finally fully recovered.  I hope please God that all this is temporary as I keep reading! 

 

MiniMinnie

[[re...]]

I looked dreadful for a year. I am now able to look at myself in the mirror and see a normal looking human being. You will get back to your pre benzo nightmare self. You may even like the way you look even more as you may be so grateful to just be you again!

 

 

[[su...]]

I looked dreadful for a year. I am now able to look at myself in the mirror and see a normal looking human being. You will get back to your pre benzo nightmare self. You may even like the way you look even more as you may be so grateful to just be you again!

 

THANK YOU!!    I really needed to hear that. 

[[Re...]]

MiniMinnie

 

Looks like you were on Benzos short term so you'll get your bounce back well before some of us...... so  promise as soon as your looks are turning heads again    let us know so we can take the sheets off the windows and mirrors and see some semblance of our  outerselves again and a glow of our inner selves as we are healing.

 

Recover

[[to...]]

My hair turned grey almost overnight and the bags under my eyes have aged me by 10 years. 

[[Ca...]]

Well....I'm a member of this club in good standing!  I was in tolerance withdrawal for two years.  During this time, hair loss was only one of my issues.  Benzo belly is so huge i look 8 mos prego.  When i look at my hands, I dont recognise them as belonging to me.  They are SO wrinkled, they look like a 100 yr old lady.  None of my clothes fit.  Along with the benzo belly, I have managed to put on at least 30 lbs.  EXERCISE?  HUH?? Hell, I can't even walk to the mailbox and sometimes I'm so weak that I cant climb up into my temper-pedic.  When I wash my hair I have to lie down for an hour to get my strength back.  Some days I can hold my arms up long enuf to put make-up on.  Did I mention body odor?  OMG!  U know u smell bad when u can smell urself and the smell raises hair on the back of ur neck (if there is any left)  I used to go to the gym, was VERY sociable and considered attractive by many.  Benzos have reduced me to a weak, fat, bitchy, smelly, ugly, bald anti-social shut in.  (and these r my good points) I threw all my extra benzos away.  I don't want to chance "kindling" this shit!  Candy

[[Mi...]]

Candy, I laughed my butt off at your post.  There has to be a term for laughing at the misery of yourself and others!  I guess I am laughing because I can so relate because I have experienced much of what you have.  And Recovering, THANK YOU for that affirmation.  I look forward to having my old self back eventually.

 

MiniMinnie

[[su...]]

Well....I'm a member of this club in good standing!  I was in tolerance withdrawal for two years.  During this time, hair loss was only one of my issues.  Benzo belly is so huge i look 8 mos prego.  When i look at my hands, I dont recognise them as belonging to me.  They are SO wrinkled, they look like a 100 yr old lady.  None of my clothes fit.  Along with the benzo belly, I have managed to put on at least 30 lbs.  EXERCISE?  HUH?? Hell, I can't even walk to the mailbox and sometimes I'm so weak that I cant climb up into my temper-pedic.  When I wash my hair I have to lie down for an hour to get my strength back.  Some days I can hold my arms up long enuf to put make-up on.  Did I mention body odor?  OMG!  U know u smell bad when u can smell urself and the smell raises hair on the back of ur neck (if there is any left)  I used to go to the gym, was VERY sociable and considered attractive by many.  Benzos have reduced me to a weak, fat, bitchy, smelly, ugly, bald anti-social shut in.  (and these r my good points) I threw all my extra benzos away.  I don't want to chance "kindling" this shit!  Candy

 

Oh my gosh, get outta my head!   

 

I have all those issues too...benzo belly, 30 lbs weight gain, unable to exercise, hair breakage/weird texture, weakness...  I've also had black eyes, puffy lids that NEVER go away, red eyes, loss of eyelashes; lots of skin stuff - crepey skin, weird alligator looking skin on my face, sometimes a sun-burn like color on my face sometimes paleness, mottled skin, dry skin, break outs, cysts, rashes, bug bite type bumps, redness from itching...I can't even remember if I got it all.  I stopped looking in the mirror.   

 

 

Benzos have also "reduced me to a weak, fat, bitchy, smelly, ugly, bald anti-social shut in."  Also threw all my extra benzos away...  In coffee grounds so no poor rats or sea gulls also become dependent on them and have to go through this! 

 

[Guest [...]]

omg can only want to laugh cant but want to at the description of all of you.  Im worried about my looks for sure as you know Minnie people will only comment on my weight loss they wont be cruel enough to say anything else.  So ill just stay inside until i feel better when is that day coming i dont know.  I miss my old self and im sure you are missing yourselves to.  Candy you are so funny you have made my day.  Is your mind screwed to? do you cry and feel depressed like me or are you ok??

 

Lizzyx

[[Sc...]]

This thread is certainly entertaining while I'm having a bad night. 

 

I am 7.5 months out and I just want to say that I've had major weight loss (I looked ill), hives, hair loss, brittle nails, dry skin everywhere, hands that aged (I'm 33...they did NOT look 33), puffy eyelids, dark circles around eyes, broken hairs, etc...and I am seeing a lot of this vanish.  My hands are still a mess, but my hair is actually better than EVER.  Around the 4 month free mark I noticed a big change with my hair and now I'm excited to grow it long again.  My eyelids are still puffy from lack of sleep, but the dark circles are gone.  Nails are great.  Hives come every now and then, but not often.  I've only put on about 5 lbs, but even that made me look a lot more healthy. 

 

Know it will pass eventually.  It's not bad enough with how horrible we can feel INSIDE...boy oh boy.  This is quite the journey...unbelievable, eh?

 

Hugs to all,

Schatje

[[Ca...]]

  I'm glad to have made some people laugh.  I too laughed at some of these posts!  I was able to laugh about this for the first time....AND it felt GOOD!!!!  Now I'm NOT ready to squeeze veggies quite yet, BUT this is a start!  lol  I have searched the internet over and seen docs for two years to find out was was wrong with me.  When I read some of the posts on this thread, I died laughing.  My husband said, "What?"  Probably because I don't laugh at too many things these days.  I was laughing because I could relate also because I finally can put a name to something Ive been going thru for 2 1/2 yrs, when doctors could not. (it's called withdrawal)

 

  AND YES my head is VERY screwed UP. I cry during American Idol, when I think someone is doing a good job singing.  :/  The depression is brutal.  It feels like someone hijacked my brain.  I give my daughter a pencil and tell her to "take 2 puffs out of this."  I mean to grab her inhaler and give IT to her.  I cant follow a conversation, I cant remember from minute to minute, cog fog....although being able to read and watch tv is back.  My insides r SO screwed up that when I look in the mirror, as bad as I look, I'm surprised I dont look worse!  Candy

[[mi...]]

I look great and feel good most of the time. Why? Because I am seeking the true healer to heal me and not trusting my body to heal itself. The word needs to get out! I hate coming to this site and seeing so many suffering and NOT allowed to tell the truth why they are. Here is the reason I am not suffering. Give God a chance through His one and only begotten Son. Seek the REAL healer who created your body and you will be so amazed at how much better you will do and how quick He will work in your life IF only you believed and trusted Him.

[[jo...]]

I look great and feel good most of the time. Why? Because I am seeking the true healer to heal me and not trusting my body to heal itself. The word needs to get out! I hate coming to this site and seeing so many suffering and NOT allowed to tell the truth why they are. Here is the reason I am not suffering. Give God a chance through His one and only begotten Son. Seek the REAL healer who created your body and you will be so amazed at how much better you will do and how quick He will work in your life IF only you believed and trusted Him.

You know, I have seen these posts before and as I understand it we are not to be posting things religious but on the section dealing with spirituality. I also know that people have been kind and directed you to the proper place to post this stuff.

 

I don't shove my beliefs down your throat and tell you that you must live kosher and worship only one G-d in order to get well, so please don't shove yours down my throat.

 

 

[[mi...]]

Not being "shoved" and that's a nasty phrase to use towards someone who is just trying to help you. I guess this is the end of what I had to say and when you suffer enough you might remember this post.

[[Mi...]]

Miss Kim, why not just jump off your current dose of Librium and trust that your beliefs will heal you?    Or is your faith "strong" but not that strong?  Because no matter what your personal philosophy and/or religion it does not trump science based knowledge.  Otherwise you are in the same group as those who will allow their kids to die before allowing medical care.  I am glad you are so sure of your faith and you feel it is working for you but please take it to the appropriate forum

 

MiniMinnie

[[Mi...]]

Not being "shoved" and that's a nasty phrase to use towards someone who is just trying to help you. I guess this is the end of what I had to say and when you suffer enough you might remember this post.

 

And that's another thing Miss Kim.  This type of smug condescending attitude does more to repel us heathens than anything else.  If you want to be a "testimony" for your faith, try practicing some of that famous Christain charity.  Oh wait, that's an oxymoron.

 

MiniMinnie

[[mi...]]

Have a wonderful day. Time for me to move on...

[[Mi...]]

Have a wonderful day. Time for me to move on...

 

Buh Bye

[[Re...]]

Seriously.  A friend told me jokingly that I looked like 10 miles of bad road.  And you know what?  She was right.  I know I look bad.  From head to toe I look like I have survived a catastrophic event.  Half of my hair has fallen out and what's left looks like a fright wig.  My skin is broken out and I have new big honking under eye bags and wrinkles.  My left eye twitches.  I am bloated up like a toad.  My nails are all split and cracked and have those ugly white deposits.  I weave around holding onto things like a toddler.  My arms and legs are full of scratch marks where I have scratched myself from the itching.  My feet look like tanned cowhide they are so tough and leathery.  This despite doing all the recommended things like grooming, healthy diet, exercise etc.  Now I know this seems superficial and self centered but really???  I just want to hide until I both look and feel better and have my mojo back.  Can anyone else relate?

 

I definately can relate. But not nearly as severe. I started taking a multiviatimin everyday and drinking lots of milk. Benzo withdrawal depletes vitamin D and B really bad. Once I start taking the vitamins and drinking milk a lot of the symptom you have explained went away.

I do however have have the bags under my eyes and I always look tired. I also feel spacey and I feel like a toddler too. I drop stuff all the time! In fact I have managed to break all but 4 glasses and a jar of jam!

 

MiniMinnie

[[jo...]]

I can so relate! My hair fell out too and it is so thin in the front I am embarrased by it. All my curl is gone. Trying rogain but no results yet. Look tired, dark circles and bags my trainer told me to get more sleep, and I get 6 to 8 hrs a night of uninterupted sleep. Skin looks nasty, pale and sallow. If that isn't bad enough I am almost 50 and having a mid life crisis, don't need the other stuff on top of that 

 

On a good note, the old libido has woken up now that I am free...my poor husband. lol

[[Pa...]]

Just wanted to let everyone know, I'm a christian, I pray daily and still look like shit! Wanted to put that out there.

[[jo...]]

Just wanted to let everyone know, I'm a christian, I pray daily and still look like shit! Wanted to put that out there.

Your funny...thanks for giving me a laugh 

[[Ch...]]

Wispy hair, red cheeks, bloodshot eyelids (inside, not outside    )  dry skin, chapped lips...

Challis

[[Pa...]]

Just wanted to let everyone know, I'm a christian, I pray daily and still look like shit! Wanted to put that out there.

Your funny...thanks for giving me a laugh 

 

You're very welcome. Laughter is the best medicine right?