I Look LIke Hell

[[Ch...]]

Hi Minnie,

Sent you a PM but thought I'd post an update here, too, in case anyone else is going through the same.  Doctor didn't prescribe any new meds  and wants me to take .25 once a day instead of .125 twice a day.  I'm trying that, got a little anxious and shaky by the time 24 hours rolled around but it was manageable.  Saw a drug and alcohol counselor last night who said the end is the most difficult.  Oh yeah, knew that already after my failed attempt to quit completely!

 

BP is spiking and dropping.  I'm able to be out and about, joined a gym and finding that exercise is a guaranteed quick relief from side effects.  Sleeping better at night and generally coping better just by reminding myself that these are withdrawal symptoms and WILL pass.  Almost constant dull headache and jittery-ness are the only things going on right now...part of the process.  I'm hoping to be one of the lucky ones who comes out of this relatively easily, especially considering how long I've taken this stuff.

 

This forum is so very helpful.  What a great community of people here...

 

Challis

[[Mi...]]

Billy, do you mean you use the rogaine shampoo and conditioner?  Does it help?

 

Gardenia, because men care less than we do about the whole appearance thing.  Sometimes "ten miles of bad road" looks attractive on men, unlike us.  I'm thinking about Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones.

 

Jrvmc thanks for the info about inositol, I will have to check it out.  Okay, maybe you have inspired me to kvetch a little less.  Maybe its time to offer each other some tips that help.  Here's mine.

 

Living Proof hair thickener.  I think I posted this on another board too.  A dab after shampooing, work it through good and blow dry.  It makes a difference.  I have tried all kinds of hair thickeners over the years and this is the best one I have found.  It is at Sephora, read all the glowing reviews.  It is pricey.  $26 but shampooing every 3 days and using it, one bottle lasts about 3 months.  Sometimes you can find it on ebay for a better price.

 

MiniMinnie

[[Mi...]]

Challis, all this sounds so encouraging.  Yes, the hard sad truth is that there's no way out of this except going through it.  I found the same thing as you have found.  Exercise DOES help.  I get on my treadmill and work up a sweat for 45 minutes and afterwards I have a window that lasts a couple of hours.  My BP did the same thing, spikes and lows, had all the doctors baffled and that was before I figured out that it was the benzo tolerance withdrawal.  I am on a very low dose of BP med, a pediatric dose, and I'm thinking I might be able to do without that when this stuff passes.  Your BP WILL settle out!  You sound upbeat and positive even though challenged.  I'm so glad!  We can do this!!!

 

MiniMinnie

[[jo...]]

May your hair grow back as soon as possible.

 

love

 

Jx

[[Ga...]]

I think Billy meant the Mane and Tail shampoo. Not too pricey either.

 

My hair is so dried out , frizzy, falling out. I think I need vits or something.

Im drug free 7 mo should be thick and shiny. Oh where is our reward

[[Ju...]]

MiniMinnie and others worried about your appearance, at least you CARE, and that is a good sign!!  I was kind of obsessed for a while, and have kind of given up. I mean, I do the necessary hygiene but don't go out of my way like I used to. I can look good in the AM and then by afternoon I am a haggard MESS..LOL. I have decided I will take more pride in my appearance and make more effort when I can. Right now it's just getting through the day!

God bless!

J.

[[ch...]]

The promptness of the title of this thread made me laugh  "I Look Like Hell" --- but hell yes, I can relate to that.

Sleep deprivation is not helping in this matter. Not at all. I have giant dark eyebags and I look more sullen than I ever have. The lines on my face are deepening. My skin is drying out no matter how often I lather on body cream and the itching is causing my eczema to flare up with great intensity. It looks and feels awful, especially when the wounds are oozing  More white hair than I should probably have for my age, and it's also become very flat. No skin or hair glow to speak of. Sometimes I even notice the shine in my eyes are gone, I kid you not. Basically a very uncomfortable and unattractive mess.

 

Hoping that this will all disappear or atleast improve once the journey is over!

 

[[jr...]]

This is my favorite from the list of things to say to a person in benzo w/d

 

5] Unkempt? NAH... in some 3rd world countries it's commonplace to go 3 months without bathing

[Guest [...]]

Hello mate how r u doing.

 

 

This title is so funny wonder how many responses you would of got with the Title Im coming off benzos and looking fantastic hahaha NO RESPONSES.  I would suggest lovely that you immediately stop washing your hair because im sure that is what is causing mine to fall out everytime i have a shower i see it on my body when i get out.  You may start to stink but you either want to look good or smell good you cant have everything.  hahaha.  Minnie dont know if you will see I updosed back to 2.5 last night with disasterous results.  Just letting you know im just screwed I think oh well another day have a sick little boy so will be doing a double booking for the dr who knows crap anyway but will still go to seek some kind of reassurance.

 

 

love Lizzyxx

[[ve...]]

Hi Id1.  Sorry you had a disastrous night?  What happened?  Also, unfortunate that your boy is sick.  How old is your boy? I have a 12 year old boy.

 

Vertigo

[Guest [...]]

hey Vertigo

 

I know it sucked big time im going to the Dr today (fat lot of good it will do)  yes my darling son is 14 not quite so little but still mums baby.  Do you just have the one son I have another son who is 20 he is the one dont know if you read it he was nearly killed i a major motor vehicle accident last June one week after I went downhill.  So I lost my job in March the fell ill in May, car accident in June 2 hospital admissions and a marriage breakup and a benzo withdrawal.  May do a song to the 12 days of xmas based on this just thinking  you can imagine the last verse AND A BENZO WITHDRAWALLLLLLLL. fml.  So now you know why im so screwed.  anyway im up and having breakfast breathing and my son is alive so at the end of the day all will be good.

 

Lizzyx

[[Ch...]]

Challis, all this sounds so encouraging.  Yes, the hard sad truth is that there's no way out of this except going through it.  I found the same thing as you have found.  Exercise DOES help.  I get on my treadmill and work up a sweat for 45 minutes and afterwards I have a window that lasts a couple of hours.  My BP did the same thing, spikes and lows, had all the doctors baffled and that was before I figured out that it was the benzo tolerance withdrawal.  I am on a very low dose of BP med, a pediatric dose, and I'm thinking I might be able to do without that when this stuff passes.  Your BP WILL settle out!  You sound upbeat and positive even though challenged.  I'm so glad!  We can do this!!!

 

MiniMinnie

 

MiniMinnie,

The drug and alcohol counselor I saw last night said 28 days after stopping is a significant number for recovery...you might be hitting a major turnaround now since you're at 29 days out after short term use!!  And there's a Sandra Bullock movie named 28 Days about drug rehab, so maybe there's something to that time frame.  I'm planning my next stepdown for March 10th and the LAST one for March 23rd...woo hoo! 

Love,

Challis

[[Mi...]]

Aw Lizzy, so sorry your updose didn't agree with you.  What happened?  Please let us know how the doctor visit went.  Geeeez, now I can't get that 12 Days tune out of my head . . . . . ."and a benzo with-draw-aaaaaaaal!" Too funny!

 

Minnie

[[Mi...]]

"The drug and alcohol counselor I saw last night said 28 days after stopping is a significant number for recovery...you might be hitting a major turnaround now since you're at 29 days out after short term use!! "

 

Leap Day!!

 

Why Challis, I think you are right!  I hadn't thought about it that way.  I am feeling pretty good these days.  My daytime windows last pretty much all day and any waves I have are short lived in the evenings.  Can still get a dizzy spell which really throws me though.

 

Locked myself out of the house today, luckily I had my cell phone and called a business associate who had a spare key to my house for some unknown reason.  In my benzo fog was glad he did, but couldn't remember why.

 

So Challis, I hope we will be celebrating your benzo freedom day March 23, and then 28 days later you being symptom free!  Whee!  Whee!  I feel like that annoying pig in the commercial.

 

MiniMinnie

[[Ch...]]

Oh, Minnie, you quack me up!!  Yes, yes, we're going to celebrate my freedom from benzos in a month...woo hoo!   I am SO looking forward to F-R-E-E-D-O-M....

  Challis

[[Mi...]]

F-R-E-E-D-O-M  F-R-E-E-D-O-M!  Feeling like Aretha Franklin today!  I had a long lunch with my one friend who knows what I am dealing with and that was so therapeutic.  She is so kind and supportive.  A big shout out to best friends!  We tend to isolate ourselves whilst going through this and that's not good, it just makes me focus more on myself and my symptom.  Focus on how I look is the last thing I need to do right now, but I can't help it.

 

Anyway Benzo Friends, get yourselves up, slap a little spackle on your face and go out in the world if only for a short walk or a quick trip to the grocery store.  I am on my way there to squeeze a few vegetables.

 

MiniMinnie

[[Ch...]]

MiniMinnie, 

I think you may be over the hump!  Hip, hip, HOORAY!!  But stick around, the rest of us need you and your success story, humor and cheering on...   Now go squeeze those veggies, girl!

 

Challis

[Guest [...]]

Hey Minnie you are sounding so perky today im kind of thinking you need to go to the i feel great about life forum hahaha.  Im glad lunch worked out for you and your friend sounds supportive.  My friendship numbers are dwindling because i have no energy for it at the moment dont want to listen to their fantastic lives.  call me selfish but thats how i need to be.  Its raining and pouring here so another long day at home.  Enjoy your day

 

 

Lizzyxx

[[Mi...]]

Update.  Well I still look like hell but my hair shedding has slowed comsiderably.  I don't feel as bloated as I did.  The eye twitches have gone.  My skin still looks pasty and sickly looking.  But overall I feel and look better.  Still having some nasty waves but they don't last too long.  Had a migraine headache last night along with a return of dizziness and spacey feeligs but got up this morning feeling better.  Onward.  The only way out is through.

 

MiniMinnie

[[Re...]]

OMG!

This thread is cracking me up. I want to join this looking like hell party. I have more than a wig of hair that I could donate to any of you  all that has covered my drain for the last 18 months. I have gotten the "Oh My God" from my hairdresser, and go see a Dermatologist. Aside from the fact that I am still tapering in a frizzyheaded, lumpy, saggy, pale body with my chest hurting and my stomach and intestines tied in knots. clothes no longer fitting as they once did, muscle to flab as any exercise to tone causes undue fatigue Attractive....NOT! Add two teenage daughters into the mix of comments of my outward appearance and wha laa  you'd think I'd want to crawl in hole and hibernate this hell away. BUT I am going to the store to squeeze some vegetables too and get some sunshine on this pale bedraddled bod of mine. The March to Benzo freedom continues................

 

Recover

 

[[je...]]

I feel for everyone writing to this post-

I thought I was goin crazy but now that I see this it seems to be normal withdrawl symptoms.  Once the physical effects started taking place was when I knew I had to get off as soon as possible! I too feel like covering all my mirrors and I am no loner a social butterfly and dread goin out anywhere because I look sooo gross! My hair falls out and has thinned on and off and not only that but the texture feels and looks like straw and grows back in a lighter color other than my natural dark color.....I for the longest time thought it was from birth control which is why I went off it but now I see its the xanax....I have aged a lot in the past 6 months I ALWAYS look tired and have huge permanent bags/dark circles under my eyes! I hope this is not permanent and will go away and I can look normal again!

[[su...]]

I look like hell too!  Pretty sure I smell worse. 

 

I need to be normal looking again someday, or how will I ever meet a man looking like this crazy homeless bag-lady that I am now?? 

[[je...]]

oh my gosh I feel the same way!!!! I look like an old rag! You smell too thou!?!? God is that another symptom!?

[[je...]]

I feel like I have to put make up on everywhere I go  just to look NORMAL!!! and not have people stare

[[su...]]

oh my gosh I feel the same way!!!! I look like an old rag! You smell too thou!?!? God is that another symptom!?

 

Lol.  Oh good.  Well not good, but it's nice to be understood!  Smelling IS another symptom (which I had for a couple weeks at one point) but lately I've just been unable to shower very often.  The sound of the water is too LOUD and hurts my ears and the water hitting my skin is very painful and makes me itch now.  Also the inositol makes me REALLY gassy. 

 

I hope to be able to shower and ditch the inositol when I'm feeling and looking better.  I mean I hope my appearance will improve??  I never realized how pretty I was until I turned into this haggard old looking witch (and I'm not old!)  I took looking healthy for granted.  Never again!!