My Journey

[[li...]]

Hello Magrita 

Thanks for the lovely reassuring messages on here.

I am sorry to keep asking but it really does help to keep me going.

Your story is so inspiring I read it a lot and I am

so pleased that you are recovered after going through this and having such a tough battle.

Thank you !

Love from lib x 

 

[[ma...]]

Hello Magrita 

Thanks for the lovely reassuring messages on here.

I am sorry to keep asking but it really does help to keep me going.

Your story is so inspiring I read it a lot and I am

so pleased that you are recovered after going through this and having such a tough battle.

Thank you !

Love from lib x 

 

Lib I was just like you, recovery was slow and it stopped a few times,, nothing happening, nothing changing. It is so frustrating.  I also wanted constant reassurance...I needed to be told every day that it gets better.. so don't apologise Lib

 

Keep hanging in, I am sure I wont be long for you, You will soon be dancing again http://www.picgifs.com/mini-graphics/mini-graphics/dancing-and-singing/mini-graphics-dancing-and-singing-356442.gif

                                                                                                                        Lib

 

[[li...]]

Hi Magrita 

 

Thanks soo much.

I am struggling a lot at the moment.

Still finding it difficult to do much because of the horrible pain.

 

It helps so much to read your story and thanks for the reassurance.

you are right reassurance is something we seem to need constantly.

 

Thank you.

 

Love from Lib x 

[[ma...]]

Thank you Magrita for comiming back to give

so much hope & encouragement.

I re-read everything again today, as I need some reassurance here, at over 2 yrs out.

Thank you for your understanding words,

& congratulations on getting through & getting your life back!

 

margaretisabel

[[Fr...]]

Read your story again.

It helps me to be reassured.

 

Peace...

 

Jeff

 

[[Mi...]]

Congrats on all your success did you follow any special diet ? Cut out caffeine sugar etc? Did you find certain things to help ?

[[ma...]]

Hi Magrita 

 

Thanks soo much.

I am struggling a lot at the moment.

Still finding it difficult to do much because of the horrible pain.

 

It helps so much to read your story and thanks for the reassurance.

you are right reassurance is something we seem to need constantly.

 

Thank you.

 

Love from Lib x 

 

Lib! I know you feel your never going to get there, I did!  It’s so easy to lose hope at this point. I remember thinking “everyone around me is getting better, it does get scary.  You have to dig your heels in and keep going…. you will recover from this

 

Remember this Lib http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/mini-graphics-flowers-812908.gif, When you were bedridden I had you using tins of beans as weights, just like I did lol, it seems like a long time ago. Your going to make it Liberty, it just going to take a bit more time

 

Magrita xx

 

[[ma...]]

Thank you Magrita for comiming back to give

so much hope & encouragement.

I re-read everything again today, as I need some reassurance here, at over 2 yrs out.

Thank you for your understanding words,

& congratulations on getting through & getting your life back!

 

margaretisabel

 

Hi Margaretisobel, thank you for your words of kindness.  I know how hard it is for you, we have these glimpses of wellness and then it goes again. It will change for good one day so hang in there, sorry your struggling at the moment. Try and keep positive,  I don’t know the reason why but some of us take that little bit longer, it will all come good in the end.

 

Magrita http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/mini-graphics-butterflies-247201.gif

 

[[ma...]]

Read your story again.

It helps me to be reassured.

 

Peace...

 

Jeff

 

Hi Jeff,  I am proud of you,  well done with your taper. Take your time and  remember the only way out is through. I know the withdrawals are awful, but remember they are temporary It really does get better

 

Magrita

 

[[ma...]]

Congrats on all your success did you follow any special diet ? Cut out caffeine sugar etc? Did you find certain things to help ?

 

Hi,  Michelle The only things I avoided were, coffee and sugar when I could. The only other thing that helps is time!  It doesn't seem to matter how long you were taking this drug, recovery comes when its ready and not before.  If I had the choice I think I would have avoided much more.  I was sick and bedridden for a long time and depended on my husband, to wash and dress me and he did the shopping, and cooking. 

 

We did eat fairly healthy anyway but of course he thought all my concern about certain foods were nonsense, I was too weak to argue anyway. He was all I had left and the truth of it, I was so scared to lose his care, I ate what he gave me, rather than upset him.  I used to hide food when I could lol  when I look back now, it was like something a child would do Lol.

 

I was so scared of annoying my hubby, without him, I wouldn’t be here, everyone else disappeared.  He was on the edge all the time, benzo withdrawal is not the easiest thing for an onlooker to live with, it didn’t only change me it changed him too.

 

I am back to me again now, I do what I want to do…and hubby does what I want him too…most of the time anyway! 

 

Sorry for  long winded reply Michelle, It brought back memories. Keep going, it will get better.

 

Magrita http://i1193.photobucket.com/albums/aa351/margarita1959/flowerysmile.gif

 

[[Mi...]]

I have a half a cup of coffee in the morning do you think that's a problem in healing? Otherwise I eat very healthy very limited sugar no processes foods. I get back reactions to processed foods msg vinegar so stay awY from all that... I'm just getting frusturated at 1 9 months. Month 17 I really thought I turned a huge corner but I didn't. Seems I'm the worst around my period and two days during ovulation.  I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.   I know where your coming from its a lot on my hubby and we have a two year old this entire things a nightmare

[[ma...]]

Hi Michelle, I love coffee and never touched it for a long while. When I started to feel a little better, I used to have the occasional coffee, me being me I would say "right I am going to have a coffee I know I will pay for it later" and I always did!!

 

Might I have taken less than 2 years to heal if I had not had the occasional coffees... I don't know!.. Maybe!  Its up to you really, can you live without it for a while, you will see the proof yourself!

 

I have found it quite common to turn a corner and slip backwards again...you are on the right path..one day you will turn that corner and never go back. Well done to you looking after a 2 year old...I don't think I could have done that, you should be so proud of yourself.  Yes period times do make withdrawal worse for our girls here...Its a bad enough time without benzo withdrawal on top.

 

Stay strong and keep going

 

Magrita

[[li...]]

Hello Magrita 

 

Thanks so much for the reassurance.

I am still going through a really rough journey and things are still just as bed as ever, 

 

Yes I remember when you got me lifting the tins when I was stuck in bed.

It was hard and your messages kept me going, they still do.

 

Thanks for understanding. It is really tough when nothing seems to be changing.

As you say even though it feels as though we will never get there,  we do.

 

Thanks so much for keeping us all going  !  !

 

Love from Lib x   

 

 

[[br...]]

Hi Magrita,

 

Well done and thank you for keeping us all updated, so many members forget about us once their healed, which of course is understandable, I'd really like to see some more updates, I think I've read every success story top to bottom and once more just for good luck. Its really good to read these kind of success stories, you are so right in saying benzo recovery is slow, so so slow, so slowwwwwww!

 

To give you an example, just last night, I sat down a touch to fast, now usually this would really aggravate my lower back w/d pain, which leaves me standing up and sitting down very slowly, similar to that of a 90 year old man lol, however last night when I sat down to fast I would usually expect to feel pain and muscle spasms, instead the pain was kind of gone, I felt something different and new but only for a split second, it was only a small amount of pain relief, never the less, it was relief, not just any kind of relief though, something felt much much better, it was as if my back woke up a bit, out of the trap its locked inn, completely healed for a mili second. Does that make any sense to anyone? Yeah so, it was a small but very significant window.

 

The best way to explain it, it was as if the back pain just vanished for split second, blink and you'd miss it! This happened with my ear pain too, I had moments through out my taper and the early stages of acute w/d where it would just almost stop hurting me very briefly, like a switch being switched off, is it hurting, is it gone, is it hurting again? before I knew all about windows/waves, these were all very frustrating, confusing and scary times to say the least.

 

I know for certain that my GI and back pain issues will recover in the same way as my ear pain did, very slow, very small windows, very subtle at first but you always feel the move forwards if you know what to look for, then the windows keep getting bigger and then eventually the window never closes. Its an exciting time for me, as crazy as that sounds.

 

We all just need to hang in there, we all have hope which is far more than others with debilitating conditions have, we should all be thankful, we will all eventually heal, I am thankful for my life every single day, treat each day as if it were your last, you never know whats around the corner.

 

Magrita, thanks again for coming back and not forgetting us, I can speak for everyone and say we all appreciate it very much.

 

[[ma...]]

Bring it on Thank you for your kind words, yes we need more updates and more success stories. We will be reading yours soon

 

The little brief moments of wellness are glimpses of the future, Symptoms can disappear as quickly as they came. We are all different, I didn't experience windows, but one day, right at the end of my taper. I woke up and felt near normal for the first time in years. It took a while for it to register in my brain... The constant pain I had 24/7 gone...the whole day!!

 

It was back to suffering the next day, never happened before and it never happened again. Its amazing how quickly it can change. You have a great attitude, keep hanging in it wont be long until you reach the finish line

 

Magrita

[[Mi...]]

Did you experience any really bad head symptoms like boa tines and electrical feelings in your forehead it bothers me to watch tv and I can feel it when I close my eyes in ever experienced this before... Not sure why a new symptom would pop up. I'm currently dealing with that and food sensitivity..

[[ma...]]

Hi Michelle, I had electric shock sensations from head to toe. Its always worth mentioning to your doctor if your worried. Its not unusual for you to get new symptoms. Some bizarre symptoms lol  I used to get a creaking noise in my head, and it felt like my scull was moving. 

 

Benzo withdrawal bring on some weird symptoms. Of course my doctor told me it was my imagination!!  It was scary and it drove me crazy, Loads of food sensitivities, these drugs leave no stone unturned.

 

Keep positive

 

Magrita

[[Mi...]]

Yeah there so scary I've been to neurologist throughout this entire thing MRIs etch they said benzo withdrawl and damaged nervous system I don't like these new head symptoms a all! My family doctor is no use though he doesn't believe in withdrawl he says drugs are out if you system every time I have seen him about a symptom he tried to give me an anti depressant

[[ma...]]

Yeah there so scary I've been to neurologist throughout this entire thing MRIs etch they said benzo withdrawl and damaged nervous system I don't like these new head symptoms a all! My family doctor is no use though he doesn't believe in withdrawl he says drugs are out if you system every time I have seen him about a symptom he tried to give me an anti depressant

 

Stay strong Michelle I know this must be so hard on you, I do commend you for going through this with a little 2 year old to care for. In the end you will be glad you did this girl!!  I know how really scary withdrawal can be...remember these weird sensations wont harm you and they are temporary. Keep on keeping on! You will get there!

 

Magrita

[[Mi...]]

Thank you so much for the kind words!!!! I can't wait till I'm on the other side! It's so hard to tell how much I have healed cause the symptoms cycle every month sometimes I think I'm doing good then get hit

[[ma...]]

Thank you Magrita for responding to everyone & keeping the hope

& encouragement going.

It means so much

xoo margaretisabel

[[fl...]]

What dou you mean by-"Dont go searching recovery,your body will bring it.if you step out of the way and let in"

What does it mean -If you step out of the way?

flavio

[[ma...]]

What dou you mean by-"Dont go searching recovery,your body will bring it.if you step out of the way and let in"

What does it mean -If you step out of the way?

flavio

 

It is a quote I found Flavio! I guess it could mean different things to different people.

 

I worried all the time obsessing, about how I was feeling , constantly trying to figure a way out of the torture.  It only resulted in my body being more tense, causing even more pain, the anxiousness  started to eat me up inside.  Negative thinking also made symptoms a lot worse. 

 

I started telling myself not to question what I was feeling anymore and just wait it out … Stop  stressing over finding quick fixes.. because there are none!  I kept telling myself be positive and to remind myself its temporary,  as hard as it is.. to go with it and just keep hanging on until my  body repairs itself.  “Don’t go searching for recovery, your body will bring it to you, if you step out of the way and let it”.

 

I was fighting against symptoms and making my withdrawal a whole lot worse and so by trying to switch off the negative thoughts and feelings, trying to relax (stepping out of the way)    and letting nature take its course, it did get better once I accepted it

 

I have probably confused you more lol, I know what I mean, and hopefully someone, even if its just one member...will get from it what I did.

 

Magrita

 

[[Mo...]]

i did get it Magrita 

and i am so sure it helped me an awful lot.

 

Flavio, i realized it was pointless to stay on the '' highway'' of desperately finding

a way to recover , if you know what i mean, once i took a side way, like a ''step out of the way''

and realized nature must take its cause, it was, and  still is, much easier to go through

the process. 

[[fl...]]

Thank you Margarita and Morreweg

.All the time I wonder what I do bad?Where I make mistake?Maybe I do too less?Sorry for my english girls.I  even cant try too observe my thoughts.If are they negative or agressive.I dont know .I cant concentrate and observe my way of thinking.Its like constant torrent.I dont know what means possitive thinking.I go to AA meetings.Its only way for me to relax and catch smth possitive.Do you know what I mean??I run ,walk ,go to AA but I cant work.I worked  for15 years as actor .Now I cant work for 2 years.I feel guily that I dont work and dont earn money.This feeling guilty is killing me!!

  I fell irritated and angry all the time .Of course this feelings decreased but all the time there are tedious.

What I do bad?Why I sit in front of tv?Go to work!!Do something!Go to people!! There are my thoughts.

I think I  will never learn thinking possitive.

flavio