Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

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Still at 0.14mg Cheated two nights ago because I ate way too many carbs after taking my Ativan Last night on track. Powerball

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Lisa, keeping your son in my prayers.

 

Luey, Powerball, glad to hear things are still going well.

 

Haimona, how are you doing?

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Thanks Comitted , hope you are well .

Lisa

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Committed, thank you for checking in.  I am struggling hard still with sleep -- I've tried everything from basic sleep hygiene to trazadone to cbd oil, and only once in a blue moon get a pretty okay night's sleep with benadryl.  Lack of sleep makes everything so hard, but I am chugging along, working with some vulnerable folks during this pandemic and trying to stay calm and help them do the same.  Work has been pretty chaotic in the past week, and so have stores and other places where I live.  I haven't broken my long hold yet, although I've been tempted more than once to updose but I worked so hard to get here, I keep thinking at some point my GABA receptors will go back to normal (I think I remember those being the culprit with the insomnia).

 

How is everyone else doing? I'm thankful for this board.

 

Haimona

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Haimona, I feel so awful to hear about your sleeping difficulties. That would absolutely do me in. If you don't mind I will throw some ideas your way. I did the whole 6 week CBT-Insomnia program last year but the sleep therapist I could learn the material but being on 2 benzos wouldn't really help me. She said to return when I am nearly off of them and have some additional sessions too. Powerball

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Powerball,

 

I would love to hear any ideas you have! I tried an app for CBT-insomnia (there is a free one through the VA that I found), but it didn't help.  Last night I even tried a sleeping pill.  I was hoping and praying that 1) it would let me sleep through the whole night for the first time in months, and 2) I wouldn't sleep-drive or sleep-cook (apparently, these things do happen).  Unfortunately, I didn't sleep through the night, although I did sleep about 4.5 hours; and, as far as I know, I didn't sleep-drive either (the car keys are still where I hid them last night).  I do have a grogginess hangover today.  So much for that being a panacea.  At least I have today off, and I'm already stocked up for the pandemic.  The birds are singing where I am, and it's a beautiful day.  We go forward and do the best we can and support each other.

 

Thanks for your caring and support.

 

Haimona

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Hi all, been a while since I posted.  I started at my taper at .75 mg daily.  I've been cutting 0.01 mg about every 7 days.  Currently at 0.20 mg when I weight it.  I tried to back to use that online calculator to figure out how long it will take me to be off it...but missing something.

 

Tablet size is 0.5 mg

weight of 10 tablets 6.1

planned quit dose 0.01

 

Planned reduction 0.03 mg

5% every 7 days

 

 

My daily doses when I weight them are

.2 mg

.2 mg

.2 mg

 

Does that sound right that my daily dose is = to .60 mg? 

 

In the event I end up in hospital, I want to be able to tell nurse how much of dose I need, and I'm confusing weight of the pill for what my dosage actually is if that makes sense.

 

 

 

 

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Hello Today,

That is good thinking to figure out your dosage ahead of time. I wish I could help you but my benzo brain isn’t so hot at math nowadays. There are others here who are very good at math. Hopefully they will check in and help you out.

 

Haimona,

Wow! Cooking and driving while you are sleeping! Does that happen very often? I am so sorry to hear you are still struggling so much with sleep. I hope you find some relief soon!

 

Praying we all come through this virus unscathed.

 

Committed

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Hi all, been a while since I posted.  I started at my taper at .75 mg daily.  I've been cutting 0.01 mg about every 7 days.  Currently at 0.20 mg when I weight it.  I tried to back to use that online calculator to figure out how long it will take me to be off it...but missing something.

 

Tablet size is 0.5 mg

weight of 10 tablets 6.1

planned quit dose 0.01

 

Planned reduction 0.03 mg

5% every 7 days

 

 

My daily doses when I weight them are

.2 mg

.2 mg

.2 mg

 

Does that sound right that my daily dose is = to .60 mg? 

 

In the event I end up in hospital, I want to be able to tell nurse how much of dose I need, and I'm confusing weight of the pill for what my dosage actually is if that makes sense.

Hi Today is Tomorrow,  I hope you don't ever have to go the hospital.  I have worried about that myself and have been trying to keep my on-line medical records up-to-date w/ my GPs office re: my current Ativan dose.  Since they don't understand the whole micro-taper thing, I've been telling them each time I lower by another .5mg, the lowest tablet available. 

 

I might be able to help you with your math but first I have a question.  When you talk about how much your amounts weigh on your scale, do you mean grams?  Rather than mgs.?

 

Haimona, So sorry to hear about your sleep )-:  It's so difficult to function without sleep.  I pray you get some relief soon. 

 

Committed, How are you doing? 

 

Thinking of everyone and hoping you are faring ok with the added stress of the coronavirus.

 

Luey

 

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Hi Luey,

 

I am doing ok. One foot in front of the other. Thank you for asking. Finally getting some sun here in the beautiful PNW! We have been busy getting things stocked for ourselves and our animals (horses, chickens, dogs, cat) in case they shut us down for a while. Our daughter and her dog would also come and stay with us. It is truly amazing what we are able to accomplish during withdrawal when given no other choice. We are all SO STRONG! Like everyone else, anxiety is a very big challenge for me during these uncertain times.

 

Hoping everyone is still healthy and able to find moments of calm in all this.

 

Love to all,

Committed 

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Dear Committed,

 

Good to hear from you!  I'm happy you're doing ok, getting some needed sun and finding the energy to take care of your home and animals.  It must be lovely there now and the animals can bring so much joy. I know it's also a lot of responsibility. One step at a time like you say....Good you have your daughter nearby for support too. 

 

Yes it truly is amazing how strong you (we all) are and what we can accomplish even while tapering.  I'm amazed at the people in this group who go to work everyday despite difficulty sleeping etc. 

 

Praying for everyone to stay healthy and find positive ways to cope in this new reality we are all finding ourselves.  I find stress of any kind can make everything harder. I know I say it often- walks in nature are my best medicine.  I also think it's so important to keep in touch with people even if it can't be in person, especially now.

 

Hugs to everyone,

 

Luey

 

 

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Hi all ,

Hope everyone is keeping safe as possible., I am in a wave and I am so upset that at this point its happening. I have had trouble the lower I go and I have been going slow. I just may hold for 2 weeks at 0.179. I have been getting horrible chills and shakes in the middle of the night just like in the start of my taper, not a good feeling at all.

All this news is a real trigger for me along with worry about my son in ny. I hope we all pull thru this awful time.

Glad for everyone here.

Lisa

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Hi Lisa,

 

Thanks for checking in even though you're not feeling well.  So sorry to hear about the wave you are going through- it's terrible what this poison can do to our bodies. I think your idea to hold until you feel better makes sense, I would do the same thing.  I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if it takes a long time as long as we can do our best to keep our symptoms at bay and allow our brains/bodies to heal along the way.  An uptick of symptoms is very upsetting, I hope you start to feel better soon.

 

Like Lisa said I hope everyone is staying as safe as possible.  Also grateful to everyone here and know we are going to get through this.

 

Haven't heard from Powerball for a while which is unusual.  Powerball, I hope you are ok and hope to hear from you soon.

 

Love,

 

Luey

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Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much! All this stress over the virus makes things so much harder. Please know I am praying for you and hope things smooth out for you soon!

 

FaithNot Fear, How are you doing?

 

Haimona, Hope you are finding some much needed sleep.

 

Powerball, Praying things are going well for you.

 

Luey, Thank you for being you and always being so encouraging!

 

Also very grateful for everyone here. Again, hoping everyone is able to find moments of calm in all this uncertainty.

 

Love to All,

Committed 

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Haimona: the one to use is sleepio.com It is out of the UK. and free. My problem was the cognitive behavioral therapy for sleep isn't really effective when you are dosed up. When I did CBT-insomnia I had the same problem. Drug metabolism interferes with cognition! No F...!!! What I do think, however, is to establish great sleep hygiene techniques that you will be able to continue once we are nearing being drug free. I am the only person here taking Ativan just for sleep. My sleep hygiene is pretty important. My nightly regime is pretty good. My morning hygiene is harder to maintain since I never had one, I always got up, made breakfast and rushed out the door. At least now I can get up and relax before I have to get up and cook and prepare my clothes.

 

I recommend starting a nightly ritual. Actually for any of us on thus S one of the best things is to give your body, your biorhythm, is constancy. Evolutionary man was thought to live this away, doing the same thing at the same time everyday.

 

I walk my dog every night at as near as 730pm as possible. He likes the same route every night (lots of grass for him). He goes the same pace. I walk into the apartment and cut off the two major lights. I go into the bathroom and cut on the shower and cut on the heater (except it is 930pm now and at 730 it was 71 degrees!)  After I shower I immediately put my pajamas on. My brain is saying "prepping for bed." Lately my reading has gone south  (Tony Robbins says at minimum you should read at least 30 pages a day) as I am sucked into MSNBC pandemic coverage. If I am on the computer, almost always, I am wearing my blue light blocking goggles. Most folks here know I post about this same time. Now. I do my guided spiritual meditation just after 10pm 75% of the time. I wish I could I could do it everyday without fail. I really would like that. I am off to bed 1030 during the week and Saturdays and 11pm Fridays. I take Xanax 1 mg taken every night at 9pm and then 45 minutes later the Ativan.

 

Off to bed. I have a weighted blanket which I got over a year ago and I am completely attached to it, even in the summer. My whole room is nigh blocked. COMPLETELY. There is T-shirt on my  husband's side of the bed to block his clock.  I cut my bedside fan on I have used for 30 years (I need the white noise except when I travel-  odd, no?). I even block that tiny, tiny red light on the turned off TV set. You need a totally blocked room in order to secrete the hormone Melatonin. Melatonin  enhances cellular immunity, and women actually need more of it. In bed I put my earplugs in -I have special ones and then put my night blocking mask on. When I get in bed the big cat leaves and about 10 minutes after I retire the dog jumps in the bed beside me. I cannot go off to sleep until I feel him there.  Shortly thereafter I sleep 100% throughout the night as much as when I was on 4mg as I am on 0.14mg now, wow. Thanks Luey, my little time away was unintentional. Good night, Powerball. Off to meditate.

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Hi Powerball,

 

Good to hear from you!  I was wondering how you are doing in NYC w/ the covid-19 cases hitting the city right now.  How are you, (given the current circumstances of course)?!

 

You sound like you are doing well.  Thanks for all of your sleep hygiene tips. I have definitely noticed I need dark to sleep more and more.  I'm about ready to start using my sleeping mask again with all of the increase of daylight.  Also a routine seems to be super important for me.  Stress can really throw me off.

 

I went through a couple of kind of low mood days- I guess the normal ups and downs of dealing with this epidemic and trying to stick with the social distancing.  I live by myself, which normally I enjoy as I often meet up with friends.  Now I'm going to need to get used to more isolation.  Phone, Skype, etc. are going to be more important for me now.  I'm trying to set up some zoom meetings for sharing music, Spanish and to continue a little book club I'm in.  I hope people on our little support thread will stay in touch too.

 

Good thoughts, good night,

 

Luey

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Lisa, Committed, Powerball, Haimona, Hearts, Faith, AF1, Today, and Anybody I've Forgotten,

 

I'm thinking of you all and wondering how you are all doing with the added stress of Covid-19.  It has been quiet around here.  Are you still tapering?  How are things in your area?  How are you? How is your health?

 

In the last week or so since I've gotten very strict about social distancing, I have been feeling more isolated.  It's hard not to wake up to a bit of a bad feeling.  It's like a bad dream.  My energy has been much lower and today I had a headache.  In the past I attributed these to withdrawal symptoms.  Now I wonder if it is psychological stress.?? 

 

I am still tapering a little bit each day.  At this pace, I could reach 1mg in a little over a month.  It would be nice to reach that milestone. Of course I will hold if I need to.

 

Hopefully some of you will check in.  The connection is important for me right now. What are some of your best distractions or coping mechanisms? 

 

Stay safe everyone,

 

Luey

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Hi luey

I am also having a hard time with the news on COVID-19 it is very distressing for me

I try not to watch it as much as my husband does . We live in Maine but my husband it an essential worker so he has to go in and it stresses me out . I make him take all his clothes off at the front door then right into the shower . My elderly mom lives with us and I have a real problem with sickness it makes me very nervous . Not good for any of us especially while trying to taper . I am also still moving forward but I cut and hold for 3 days my sleep is really hard to Handel . Also have had the added stress of a cold and the worry of my son in Manhattan .

Also thankful for the support of my friends here .

Even at this low dose I have a way to go . It’s exhausting at times .

We can look forward to spring and flowers 🌺.

Also I so enjoy my dog 🐕 Humphrey he is my savior . I am thankful for him in my life .

Wishing you and everyone here better days to come .

Luey hope your listing to some Bowie to brighten your days !

Lisa

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Tech and Luey tonight Tech if your son totally isolates for about 15 days he should be fine. It is epicenter because of our density. I hope he lives alone, if not, that person should stay home too. I live in Brooklyn. Two ago it was 71 degrees at 730p! I could not believe it. I saw one man in a tank top another with no shirt on at all. I counted 62 people outside and 1 mask. There were even two parties going on at the end of my block (where I never go unless I am walking Wayne). Last night it was 41-43 degrees. What a drop! I counted 32. Tonight is was cold and rainy. 16 people. My husband goes out just to the grocery shop and he wears a mask. If I get it I am dead. I told my husband that if he bring it home to me, my death will mean nothing to him since my 401-K is probably worth shi….!! I expect over the nest 10 years it will go back up, but a depression is surely coming our way, but it is possible it will a relatively short one. My job as Associate Provost is answering emails 24/7 from 9am until 530pm. Since I oversee academic IT and we totally online, my areas of contact are about the whole College. But it is challenging.

 

Tonight I go to 0.12 mg of Ativan. And I decided to begin my first Xanax cut. From 1 mg to 0.95mg.l  I cannot find a dam.. helpful group on tapering off a low dose of Xanax but I found one woman who it seems did it in 2 months so I copied her taper. She never said she fully jumped so I don't have the full picture. Her taper was pretty aggressive, but you know me, I love the micro tapers. It is Spring now and the world is in a Pandemic. Who in the F thought what happens in China would not effect us at all????????????????????????? Good night to both of you and all the others here, and to the world at large. I read it is possible that Italy has reached its apex. There has been a slight decline in new infections and deaths in the last day. But we are just beginning.

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Good Morning All,

 

Luey, this has my symptoms flaring up too. The added stress is so hard on our bodies. I wake up ok then start thinking about everything that is going on and the anxiety sets in. I too am just continuing to press on with my taper. I try and do more things outside now that the weather is warming up. That helps a lot. My husband and I plan to use the next two weeks doing spring cleaning on our property. We got a couple puzzles that we are looking forward to working on too. We work on them while listening to audio books.

 

Our governor has finally ordered a shelter in place. The public was actually signing petitions asking him to instate it! I am not sure how serious everyone is going to take it though. He named in ‘Stay home, Stay Healthy’. Sounds more like a vacation than a pandemic. I guess we will just have to wait and see. In the area we live, some places people are very mindful of what is going on, in other places, not so much.

 

Lisa, praying your family stays virus free and healthy!! It must be very stressful for you worrying about your mom’s health.

 

Powerball, Good luck on your new taper!!! So many people still hanging out together. Wow. I wonder why people aren’t taking it more seriously? Sounds like you are very busy.

 

It is a fine line between staying informed about what is going on and letting it become overwhelming. I struggle to find that balance.

 

Grateful for our group. Staying in touch with people is so important through this!

 

Hugs to All,

Committed

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Hello all. I'm actually the opposite of Luey--usually I spend a LOT of time by myself on the couch, but now my sons are home from college and doing class online. My daughter is a paramedic so I'm praying for her to stay healthy. She's taking some herbal immune system formula. I also got a little more lysine and vitamin c because for years that's what we've used to knock out colds and flu.  I got the idea from earthclinic.com .  They used to have a swine flu protocol that involved something like 500 mg lysine and 500 mg vitamin c once an hour for 4 or 5 doses and sometimes it will totally kick the cold or flu that same day by doing that.  Do your own research; I have no idea whether this would be safe or effective with corona.

 

I'm on several other psych drugs and have started tapering Risperdal. I had tapered halfway off at the beginning of my Ativan taper but got stuck and decided to finish tapering Ativan first. I have 1/2 mg a day to taper and I'm spreading it over 90 days. I'm 26 days into the taper.  I tried doing the scale thing, but for me it's easier to crush the pill and mix it with water. I just keep stirring it while I'm withdrawing the right amount. Not extremely accurate but works for me.  No water shaming, please, hahaha. Being silly.

 

I live in a small town and am sure praying for those in NYC and other densely populated places (like prisons.)  I normally don't watch the news--just look up online how things are so stay basically informed without being overwhelmed with it.

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To all:

night 1 was about 62 outside (warm)

night 2 was about 31 outside (very cold)

night 3 was about 70 outside (not too cold)

 

Brooklyn is acting like nothing is going on. And don't forget if Brooklyn were its own state, it would be the 6th largest in the US. I went to the grocery store today not next door, but a bit farther away since they have the best store bought bread ever. Coming home I felt very bad. Actually earlier in the day. I was on the train coming band and wondered if I had corona. I was then thinking, who was I around before we stayed home from work? Then I thought maybe I was just feeling from not enough sleep. Yes, I am getting to bed a little later and it is not good for me. I am fine. I think it is all the nausea I guess from my low dose Ativan or my Xanax. I think I am ok.

 

Luey and Today and anyone else? Is it possible my low dose is all placebo? I sleep like a rock. As much as on 4mg as I am at 0.12mg. How is this possible?. My husband (teasing I think) says, "Can't you just blow those crumbles I can barely see, away?" I do wonder. Will I sleep like a rock at 0.11, 0.10,.0.09, .08, .07, 0.06, 0.05, 0.04 - then I cannot measure any more, I would need a microscope to cut any further. Will I still sleep? Will I hit a sudden wall? The scientist/nurse in me knows the placebo effect, pretty powerful.

 

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Powerball

If I thought that was the case I would stop now myself .

If you are still sleeping well you could lower down below 10 then try and stop if that is what you think .

Nobody but you knows how you feel . Your so close I would just continue doing what has been working for you . Just my opinion . It’s a stressful time for all make small correctable changes .

Lisa

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Powerball, I don't know if it's placebo effect or not. When I was down to crumbs (0.01 mg or something like that) I tried to jump and felt it a few days later.  It doesn't seem like a therapeutic dose so maybe it is placebo, but like you said placebo is powerful. Placebo effect doesn't mean not real.

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Hi Everyone,

 

It was good to hear from you!  I'm just doing a quick check today to say hi and will write more later.  I am amazed at all of your resilience. We have had a lot of practice! 

 

Lisa and Powerball, Thinking of you with NYC being hit hard.  Please keep us posted about how things are going.

 

One person in our group who I'm thinking about is HeartsonFire as I know she works long hours in an emergency room.  I hope we hear from her!

 

Powerball, the placebo effect is such a good question.  I don't feel like any of my four daily doses do anything except keep symptoms at bay.  Fortunately I have been almost symptom free since I slowed down.  I would be too afraid to experiment and rock the boat so I'm accepting many more months of tapering. 

 

Be safe everyone,

 

Hugs, 

 

Luey