Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

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What are people's thoughts on supplements?  I've read mixed things about that on the internet.

 

I was diagnosed with copper overload last year (decided to see orthomolecular doctors in an attempt to find out what was really wrong me).  Copper binds to estrogen and some women have a limited capacity to process it--can be common in postpartum depression/anxiety--excess copper.

 

Point is:  I have been on their program for me, for a year (vitamins,minerals,etc.) and it was the best year yet.......until now (with the ativan problem).  I am wondering about experimenting with the calming amino acids, specifically taurine and glycine.

 

Oh, and niacinimide.

 

I take theanine at night and passionflower/tart cherry, though on my panic/adrenaline nights with ovulation nothing touches that.

 

I have also read about Vitamin D helping.  If you have experience with that, what are the highest doses of Vitamin D that are safe to take?

 

I am hesitant to add anything to the mix but I am desperate to stay functional for my children as this year of decreasing the ativan moves along.

 

Whatever advice/experience with these ideas, would be great.

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

What are people's thoughts on supplements?  I've read mixed things about that on the internet.

 

I was diagnosed with copper overload last year (decided to see orthomolecular doctors in an attempt to find out what was really wrong me).  Copper binds to estrogen and some women have a limited capacity to process it--can be common in postpartum depression/anxiety--excess copper.

 

Point is:  I have been on their program for me, for a year (vitamins,minerals,etc.) and it was the best year yet.......until now (with the ativan problem).  I am wondering about experimenting with the calming amino acids, specifically taurine and glycine.

 

Oh, and niacinimide.

 

I take theanine at night and passionflower/tart cherry, though on my panic/adrenaline nights with ovulation nothing touches that.

 

I have also read about Vitamin D helping.  If you have experience with that, what are the highest doses of Vitamin D that are safe to take?

 

I am hesitant to add anything to the mix but I am desperate to stay functional for my children as this year of decreasing the ativan moves along.

 

Whatever advice/experience with these ideas, would be great.

 

June, check out the Ashton Manual 2011 supplement (http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashsupp11.htm) and scroll down to the section on supplements.

 

I guess I'd just recommend checking in with how you feel on the various things you try. Lately I've been thinking I will not add anything new to the mix (having used Holy Basil, theanine, and tried this vitamin B thing called Deplin; Bacopa, fish oil, melatonin). Do what works, if you can tell. When I used the theanine, for example, I found it kind of troubling. Vitamin B-complex feels good, fish oil makes sense, the melatonin is helping with sleep lately (though today I wonder if it freaked me out a little as I felt more crazy).

 

Your bio sounds similar to mine (the nervous breakdown, the many meds - doc has tried 3-4 diff AD's on me, I removed my self from zyprexa in June - and then upped my stupid ativan usage - and another doc has talked to me about lithium and latuda - but this is all beside the point. I'm "glad" -sad- to find someone who also fell apart and has been on a med rollercoaster).

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NYC4--hi.

 

Ugh! Deplin--I remember trying that a couple years ago and it was HORRIBLE for me.

 

Thanks for the advice--makes sense. 

 

I have tried melatonin in the past (probably 2 years or 3, ago) and it just gave me bad dreams and light sleep with a bad headache when I woke up.  But I did read recently that lower doses, like .5 and lower can be much more effective than higher doses.  I thought that was interesting so I got a bottle of liquid melatonin but I haven't tried it yet.

 

Sometimes I use magnesium oil too at night.  These tricks--I also have a homeopathic restless leg thing for the body-speed feeling in the night, but I haven't tried that yet on the truly horrible nights--seem to work much better on "regular insomnia" nights.

 

Don't know if you have heard of Lactium but I think that might be helping at night (and you can take it again when you wake up). 

 

Who knows--just a big mess, really, is what it comes down to.

 

Lithium saved my life, by the way. 

 

My doctor and I have talked about increasing my lithium.  I am not necessarily recommending it to you--the less introduced, the better, right?

 

For the first year I was on it I was on 1500mg. I needed that much to shut down the lamictal.  Lithium shut down my anxious, tight, mind looping and suicidal thinking and sobbing all the time, but not the body-anxiety.  Lexapro shut the adrenaline down, but left me a zombie at 20mg.  I would hate to raise that again, but have been thinking about it.  A zombie for a couple years (if it helped benzo withdrawal) might be better than this--and I've only just begun my taper!

 

I keep reading other places that no other meds. help benzo withdrawal (not that I want to go on more).  I feel so hopeless at the thought of that, though--in case I lose functionality again (like 2010-2012).

 

Can you tell if lamictal is helping?  I hope it does!!--it helps for a lot of people.

 

My doctor prescribed propranalol for the next set of adrenaline nights.  I am going to see if that helps, but after getting on this med train I have learned that the lower, the better for me, so if I try it I am just going to take 5 mg.

 

We'll see........

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Hi June - I don't have any experience with supplementation, I try and get all my nutrients from food. I eat VERY clean. I know you can't get everything, but I feel I get enough to keep me stronger and healthy.

 

There is a section on the main forum called "Other Medications" and there are 100's of threads about supplements. That is probably your best bet. My only advice would be to start one supplement at a time and introduce it slowly (low dose) to gauge your reaction to it.

 

There is no hard/fast rule about medications in w/d. I personally won't take anything unless I'm suicidal or unable to make medical decisions on my own. I think it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole when we start taking more medicine to chase away the side effects or w/d effects of other medications. I have been on an SSRI for 12 years and it does nothing for my w/d. It's just one more thing to taper when I'm done with benzo's. Just my two cents

 

NYC - I'm sorry your afternoon was so troublesome and glad it passed. Please know that suicide is not the answer. If you are feeling that way, please reach out. http://www.benzobuddies.org/resources/suicide-self-harm/

 

As far as tapering goes, I can tell you how I do it, which I found to be the easiest way for me.

 

1. Decide what to taper (10% you said)

2. Figure out the math: 10% of .75mg = .075 (this is your "cut")

    So, .75mg minus .075mg = .675mg

3. You dose 5x per day. So .675mg divided into 5 doses = .135mg per dose

4. Since the scale won't read into the last place, I simply would figure out how to get as close to the

    amount as I needed. In this case I would round up to .68mg and divide my doses as

    follows: 1st-.13 | 2nd-.14 | 3rd-.14 | 4th-.14 | 5th-.13

5. On your scale, you will measure out doses by weight. So the weight if your chips are .13 or .14

6. I store them in pill containers liked I showed you in the picture on a previous page

 

I hope that all make sense. And please, know that what you are feeling is normal. You have to dig deep. Hang in there and read the success stories. Nothing in this life is permanent.

[[do...]]

June:

 

There is a lady on the forums named Parker who has a wealth of knowledge about supplements and also what benzos do to our bodies and what she went through.  I found her blog helpful.  She has links to her supplements etc with her signature.

Sorry cannot provide a link as I am on my tiny cell phone.

 

I began taking  150 mg magnesium,  1000-3000 units vitamin d (depending on how much bright sun I get in a day) and 50 mg of zinc at the end of my taper.  I still take these three at night about half hour before bed and it seems to be calming. I make a green smoothie and take them with that.  My iron stores are low so I take a liquid iron in the morning with food as it can be hard on the stomach.  ( since benzos I have been baving horrific stomach issues and still have flare ups).  I also take a womans multi vitamin and omega three fish oil. Some people take the B vitamins.  I cannot as they hurt my tummy.

 

I also eat very clean.  Lots of fresh veggies, some fruit, eggs,  lean chicken, fresh fish, nuts., seeds, avacado, real salt, lemon juice on most things, molasses, honey and apple cider vinegar.  I drink a lot of artesian well water from my spring as well.

 

Walking helps.  My withdrawl was rapid and I found walking as much as I could during our harsh winter helped immensely.  I started just a block at a time then as I was stronger added more and more. Now a 5km walk is a joy.

Also warm epsom salt baths once or twice a day if you can.  I would briskly rub the salt into my skin. 

Hot packs on my shoulders, feet and tummy.  So comforting.

Massage and chiropractor and reflexology if you can.  I felt during my taper it was all about me, rest and appointments.

 

Wishing you well.

 

Domestic Advisor

 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Hello Ativaners: our little thread was humming for awhile and we seem to have quieted down. I hope everyone is soldiering on.

 

Thank you Domestic for chiming in with information and advice. It's always nice to hear from a buddy who is in recovery. Congrats in getting to where you are now 

 

I also would like to give a shout out to AlkaSeltzer/Fran who is part of this thread and is now a week free of Ativan. Congrats, Fran! Amazing accomplishment. 

 

We've got some new comers to the thread and although we aren't happy to see more people in withdrawal, we are happy to get to know them and watch them successfully taper of this junk  WELCOME!

 

If you haven't checked in for awhile, pleas drop in and let us know how you are doing.

 

Dig deep my friends 

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I'll chime in again. I'm worried I'm getting too obsessed about tapering down. I know from experience (with a small amount of Klonopin a few years ago) that my body needs to take it slow. But lately it's all I think about. And I'm obsessing about seeing my doctor on Monday and him wanting to drastically reduce my dose ("force taper" he last said). And obsessing about cutting up tiny pills into crumbles and keeping track of them in each day's dosage. Maybe I'm able to taper faster than I thought? 15% every couple of weeks? (I did do the big drop from 1 to 0.75 mg about 2-3 weeks ago now; it sucked but was mixed up with new meds at the same time).

 

Besides my usual anxiety and difficulty, the dread and panic feeling seem to be rising lately, in the past two weeks, when I've been on 0.75 mg. Is that "typical", something to just try to weather? I went to a sort of interview today and felt like an impostor, and I felt this kind of veil between me and the person, as if I wasn't all that real. Is that totally weird? (Part of my depression I think too).

 

I don't know. I got the scale but haven't tried it yet. Feeling pretty hopeless. Terrible sleep last night too.

 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

NYC - the depersonalization/derealization is very common. Obsessing about your taper, very common. Feeling hopeless, fearful, anxious, depressed....sadly, all very normal. What about doing a simple water titration so you don't have to bother with the scale? Try not to worry about your doc appt until you meet with him and have the discussion. If he pushes you for a fast taper, show him a copy if the ashton manual. if that doesn't work, start looking for a new doctor. You CAN do this. Don't lose hope 

[[pe...]]

Hi

So I am thinking of doing my first cut on from 2mg suspension tomorrow- its been a week since i've been on it from the pills. I've had brutal depression etc. But i feel i need to crack on with this now and feel like I am making some progress.

 

I take the dose 4 times a day- so I'm wondering what my first cut should be?

 

Thanks

Pete

[[Ki...]]

Hi Pete,

 

The recommendation is to taper 5-10% every 7-10 days. This does not work for everyone, some can go faster some need to go slower. I would start at no more than a 5% cut and hold for the 10 days. If it goes really well and you want to drop more than you can try 6% and so on. That's how I would do it.

 

Nobody can tell you what % to cut, that's a decision you have to make on your own.

 

Stay conservative and build upwards would be my only suggestion.

 

Keep us posted on your progress 

[[Sa...]]

I'll chime in again. I'm worried I'm getting too obsessed about tapering down. I know from experience (with a small amount of Klonopin a few years ago) that my body needs to take it slow. But lately it's all I think about. And I'm obsessing about seeing my doctor on Monday and him wanting to drastically reduce my dose ("force taper" he last said). And obsessing about cutting up tiny pills into crumbles and keeping track of them in each day's dosage. Maybe I'm able to taper faster than I thought? 15% every couple of weeks? (I did do the big drop from 1 to 0.75 mg about 2-3 weeks ago now; it sucked but was mixed up with new meds at the same time).

 

Besides my usual anxiety and difficulty, the dread and panic feeling seem to be rising lately, in the past two weeks, when I've been on 0.75 mg. Is that "typical", something to just try to weather? I went to a sort of interview today and felt like an impostor, and I felt this kind of veil between me and the person, as if I wasn't all that real. Is that totally weird? (Part of my depression I think too).

 

I don't know. I got the scale but haven't tried it yet. Feeling pretty hopeless. Terrible sleep last night too.

 

 

 

 

Everything Kiddo said is right. Everything you're experiencing right now is normal. Tapering brings all kinds of uncomfortable sxs and feelings. You've described Depersonalization very well. The key is to understand how normal all of the feelings and sensations are. Tapering is challenging but accepting the sxs as normal is key. I think everyone here has obsessed about their taper. I haven meant many who haven't...I agree with how to approach your Dr. If you find he is unwilling to help in a safer manner of tapering, I'd start searching for a dr who will help. 

 

Saga

[[La...]]

I'll chime in again. I'm worried I'm getting too obsessed about tapering down. I know from experience (with a small amount of Klonopin a few years ago) that my body needs to take it slow. But lately it's all I think about. And I'm obsessing about seeing my doctor on Monday and him wanting to drastically reduce my dose ("force taper" he last said). And obsessing about cutting up tiny pills into crumbles and keeping track of them in each day's dosage. Maybe I'm able to taper faster than I thought? 15% every couple of weeks? (I did do the big drop from 1 to 0.75 mg about 2-3 weeks ago now; it sucked but was mixed up with new meds at the same time).

 

Besides my usual anxiety and difficulty, the dread and panic feeling seem to be rising lately, in the past two weeks, when I've been on 0.75 mg. Is that "typical", something to just try to weather? I went to a sort of interview today and felt like an impostor, and I felt this kind of veil between me and the person, as if I wasn't all that real. Is that totally weird? (Part of my depression I think too).

 

I don't know. I got the scale but haven't tried it yet. Feeling pretty hopeless. Terrible sleep last night too.

 

NYC, I wouldnt worry about getting too obssessed over your taper. Not one bit. The depths of my obsessiveness on tapering were unfathomable, and I dare not ever disclose the gory details. Obsess away, but use the energy for the purpose of precise and systematic dose control, not for anything negative like hoarding a decades worth of pills in an underground bunker, just in case ya know,...like what if? 

[[Gr...]]

NYC4 - I too obsessed about my taper when I first started. It was driving me nuts. The key for me was getting stable. Don't stress about cutting until you feel better. Once I was stable I could think much clearer and I planned my "attack" from there. The switch to liquid was my next breakthrough. Since then I don't feel like I'm tapering at all. I pretty much feel normal. Now I hope it stays this way until the end. Also the help of my fellow BB's has been invaluable. Kiddo and Juliea and all the others took care of me when I first got here and was scared shitless. Just read and listen to these people as much as you can (And on that note try not to read too many other threads on this site. For me it made things worse. I only come here and Kiddos blog now). You're in good hands NYC4. You will heal. We all do.

 

GIT

[[Ki...]]

Green - you are so awesome!!! Love you buddy 

[[do...]]

My tapwe was hell,  but every cut I made, the stronger I became.  Physical symptoms were ever.present, but my mind seemed to get clearer.  I made a chart everytime I cut and studied it obsessively.  I kept cutting as I had the strength to do so.  Reading other ativan users especially their cutting schedule helped me get.through.  post often to get reassurance.  The end is near and soon you will be off ativan.

[[...]]

NYC4  Can you get your ativan compounded into a liquid? Your doctor just needs to call the script into a compounding pharmacy.  I actually get my tablets at one pharmacy and take them into the compounding pharmacy...but your doctor can do it all directly through a compounding pharmacy.

 

Maybe you've already tried that and it didn't work?  I obsess enough myself about this mess--having to do the scale/crumb thang and worrying about getting that right, would definitely exacerbate the obsessing.

 

Having said that, if you have to do it the crumb-way, you will still get through this......that's what I keep telling myself--OK that's what my husband keeps telling me....right before I get pissed at him for not knowing what this feels like.

 

 

My obsession regarding meds was so acute in from 2010-2012 (those were the beginning Zyprexa days--and plunging downhill to all kinds of other meds) and it is sooo profoundly uncomfortable to have constant worries about the same thing run round your head every day.

 

I also really want to communicate to everyone that Hope really is all we can hold onto. 

 

Whacked out on so many meds (way before ativan) I tried to kill myself twice in 2012.  I am not telling anyone that to freak them out.  The point of letting you know is that I started slowly getting better btw. 2012-2013 (albeit because of a med.--lithium).

 

And 2013-June 2014, I actually felt like my old self again!!!!!!  I could feel joy and appreciate all the little things and was Good.

 

I never ever would have believed that would happen.  I must have written dozens on suicide notes to my kids.

 

Of course, now with ativan and the rug getting swept out from underneath me, I have to endure again, and that is sucking!!!!  But I know now --I really know--that it can change and get better.  It has to.  It will.  We don't know the course it will all take for us to get there, but we have to believe that it is possible.  I lived that possibility for one full year!  And even tough the withdrawals are kicking in here with ativan I am still way beeettttter that those super dark days.

 

I know it may not stay that way but we all have to remember how strong we are for dealing with such profound emotional pain.  There are very few people that will ever "get" this kind of pain.  I just think we rock, for having the strength to endure.

 

I also have to go slooooow--my brain is so sensitized to meds.  I think if I can hack this it will take me a full year or more to get off ativan. 

 

Frustrating but one foot in front of the other is all we've got. My husband says that one to me too and I want to smack him.

 

 

[[Sa...]]

Green I'm happy you're doing so well!  Funny how we avoid parts of the forum...there are a lot of sections I find difficult to read myself.

 

June great attitude and it will serve you well. I understand and relate to everything you've written. Been there myself. It's far too familiar. But you will find a way to do this slowly and carefully considering your sensitivity to meds.

 

I agree with [bDA[/b] my taper was brutal, especially the beginning when I had no idea what to expect. I never charted, but I had the attitude no pill would ever win. The lower I got the stronger I became. Never give up hope. Everyone can do this. anyway, lots of positive thoughts here, they are SO important...

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Lots of hope expressed here. In the face of terrible adversity. I was suicidal last December and hospitalized. I'm suicidal in and out now, no attempts, but every day I worry I'm sending signals to my friends and family that I'm opting out. Every photo I send to my kids feels like a suicide note. June I'm impressed with your resiliency and humility and strength.

 

My scale arrived and doesn't work. "Err" and "UnSt" and racing numbers. I just spent all morning over the scale getting frustrated and then cutting up my 0.5 mg pills into 0.125 quarters. I have no idea how anyone gets into the smaller numbers (I guess by weighing). I'm wondering if I should forget the whole thing and just drop by 0.125 every few weeks, or maybe just cut one of the 0.125 pieces into an inaccurate half and go from there. And the water titration, the suspensions, the liquid. I'm at wit's end. It seems like I'm spending all day thinking about this and could well spend more time cutting up pills and making liquids. (PS in the US I've called a few compounding pharmacies and they don't do ativan, although drugstores do sell on special order ativan as a liquid itself).

 

Pharmacy sells liquid ativan in 1 ounce bottles at 2mg/ml. I guess I'd need a very calibrated dropper to create doses. I'm told that 0.5 ml = 1 mg in this liquid and then I guess you'd just keep dividing to figure out the gradual reductions, right? (0.25 ml = 0.5 mg, etc.?). I think this is all beyond my doctor though.

 

You've given me suggestions and for some reason I'm still having such trouble (and fear) with the liquid idea as well as the weighing little chips and crumbs (since the damn scale doesn't work). Really don't know what to do. Awoke this morning suicidal in thinking despite seeing my daughter's face in a photo. Sorry for all this obsessing. My morning is gone now. Not that I had anything else planned....

[[...]]

NYC4,

 

I am sooooo feeling for you.  I wouldn't wish this pain an anyone. 

 

I hate the thought (as I'm sure you do) of you trying another med. (and I don't know how acute your feelings are), and it's a crap shoot with everyone, but lithium shut down my suicidal thinking, no two ways about it and calmed my constant anxiety loops around meds and my chronic worry that I would never get better.  I'm not saying you should go that route one way or the other; I just know for me, it helped immensely--I was zombified for a year on it, mind you--at 1500mg. but that was a welcome relief, frankly. Over time my doctor and I could reduce it.  Reducing lithium is painless, in my opinion, unless you have a history of true mania.  I just became more awake as I lowered it.  But it definitely knocked out the suicidal thoughts and the anxious mind loops.  I could think of nothing---and I mean, nothing-- but medications and that I would never get better.  I cried and paced and begged god to make it stop everyday.  Lithium stopped that.

 

Where are you with the lamictal?  Do you feel like you could just put the ativan weaning to the side right now while you are coming up on lamictal??  It might be just too stressful to tackle right now.

 

Hang in there.  I am thinking of you.

I am annoyed and surprised that there is no compounding pharmacy in your area--I live in the US too.  It was my understanding that every town had one. Does your doctor know of any way to get it compounded for you?

 

My understanding is that .5 mg = 1 mL of liquid ativan

 

There are 1 mL. syringes that either a pharmacy or a veterinarian will have.  There are also 3ml. syringes but that is too big for where you are, I think.

 

Whatever gets you through the day, whatever comfort no matter how small is actually Huge for the state you are in.

 

As weird as it sounds the only comfort I had during my worst days were pelicans and snails.  They kept me alive.  I would walk three times a day because of the body-anxiety, when I first broke down, and I saw snails crossing my path, and I thought, "at least I have snails".

 

I know that's weird but I do like snails.  Same thing happended with pelicans.  I'd walk everyday and see them and marvel at them, and think "at least I have pelicans". 

 

 

You will survive this--like I said, maybe hold with the ativan where you are right now?

 

   

 

 

[[Om...]]

NYC Take a deep breath and relax. Its ok, We will all get through this together. If your area doesn't have a compound pharmacy that will do your meds, I suggest making it yourself. I can give you a link that gives you the jist of it and as someone who does the liquid titration myself every day, I can help you. This goes for anyone thinking of attempting doing a liquid titration making your own dose. (Im personally more comfortable with a liquid titration than dry cutting with a scale, to each their own, do what makes YOU comfortable)

 

I was so stressed out when I first started my taper, I was so scared and there seemed to be so many variables in it all, I kept focusing on the negative. But people like Kiddo Saga GIT Laserjet (don't forget my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ) and others help me with my fears. These thoughts will ease up as you get into a rhythm.

 

My heart and prayers are with you all. God Bless 

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Great advice Omni - I'd like to take you up on your offer. Do you think you could post a step-by-step detailed description of how you make your liquid, store it, etc? That would probably be very beneficial for everyone.

 

And as an FYI: GreenIrishTweed is have a virtually symptom free taper with liquid (compounded liquid) and Rriver has done very well with her method making her solution at home, SophiasNana is doing very well with making her own liquid and AlkaSeltzer just completed a 1mg taper in 4 months and is doing very well a few days free of Ativan.

[[pe...]]

Thanks for the response Kiddo

 

I am really struggling on this suspension- been on it a week, and it seems to not to be holding my anxiety, more having a paradoxical effect. I feel overwhelmed and the depression is getting worse- i feel myself crashing which i didn't have on tablets. I feel like I'm in a hole, i did a cut yesterday and today i feel even more obsessional and disconnected all my resources are being continuously pushed.

 

The problem is with suspension is I don't mind going back up to original dose but here in the UK its costing me about $90 a week to be on this stuff and I feel more pressure to make reductions.

 

Best

Pete

Ps. thanks for the support

 

 

[[Sa...]]

Hi Pete,

 

Sorry you're still having a tough time with the liquid. Tapering is tough, your sxs sound fairly normal, in my opinion. It's nice to hear about people having an easier taper,and I'm really happy for them,but I don't believe that's the norm.

 

I can't tell from your signature how much you've cut. It sounds as though you're pressuring yourself to make cuts because the liquid is so expensive. I would really caution you against making those cuts for that reason. Last I remember you didn't feel better on the liquid and then you've cut again. Maybe just take some time with this to settle down and feel stable. Stable doesn't mean sxs free...

 

Saga

[[Om...]]

Great advice Omni - I'd like to take you up on your offer. Do you think you could post a step-by-step detailed description of how you make your liquid, store it, etc? That would probably be very beneficial for everyone.

 

And as an FYI: GreenIrishTweed is have a virtually symptom free taper with liquid (compounded liquid) and Rriver has done very well with her method making her solution at home, SophiasNana is doing very well with making her own liquid and AlkaSeltzer just completed a 1mg taper in 4 months and is doing very well a few days free of Ativan.

 

I wouldn't mind doing that at all  , give me a day or so to get it put together. Ill start a little blog for it and then link it to my signature.

 

Praise The Lord for all of these people doing well! Whether struggling or mostly s/x free, know that my prayers and thoughts continue to be with each one of you daily.

 

On a separate note, has anyone had bad ringing in the ears? (tinnitus) Mine started when I got up for my morning dose and hasn't subsided yet. It was impossible to go back to sleep it is so loud so I decided to stay up. Any advice would be very helpful. I think theres a support page on it as well. Ill probably go check it out.

[[Ki...]]

Pete - while it's true some people can't tolerate the liquid, I think this is more if a case of you just feeling w/d symptoms. I think you started tapering the liquid before you had stabilized on it. Switching to liquid can feel like a cut. Saga is right, don't feel pressure to reduce because of the cost. Your health needs to be the first priority 

 

Omni - that would be great