Forced To Fight...And Win! 15 months Healed Yes....

[[ja...]]

Wow! what a quick reply, thankyou. I know you said before you had your big break at 7 months. Here you said your anger and rage and motor function was better at 3; that is so encouraging, when could you drive?

Your so welcome I felt your pain in your post .. I wanted to try and help rt away. I never really had windows I was bedridden and very sick until month 7.Month 7 is where the strength came back and I was able to start walking for lengths of time again.. But after month 3 allot of my acute horror scary off the charts sxs eased. I was left with things like muscle loss,strength.I became fatigued, I had allot other sxs but the rage and anger went away after month 3  3 1/2 or so. I had that god awful akethesia so bad. That un easy unwanted energy started to ease to. then would just come and go.I was able to drive about month 4 much better and felt my coordination back.My brain was sending better messages the part that controls motor function. I couldnt even remember my name in the first few months off. Or get the words from my brain to my mouth it was so scary .I was so happy when that got better at month 3 as well.

 

It will happen for you and that will bring you sold proof that you will be all better when this ends

[[ja...]]

Hopeful-One,Charlene or anyone who needs some hope pls read

 

I have a thread for you that I wrote awhile ago to try and help with what I learned in this experience. Im gonna post it for you since you said you read my other thread "Battlefield"

 

I hope this helps you. its called "The Unknown...And the Reveal..."

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=50942.0

[[Ho...]]

Thanks Jenny,

 

That was an amazing thread, very powerful! you are a fighter like no other.

 

I am amazed you could drive at 3 months; I am completely disoriented and dizzy yet, would be a disaster on the road for sure! My depth perception is still off and my head feels unattached from my body, not to mention the fear and anxiety with the inner tremor. I think when some of that eases I will try to drive a bit.

 

I will be 4 months off late next week, maybe something will let up by then! God bless you1

[[Ch...]]

Jenny the HOPE you bring is unbelievable.  Thank you for sharing.  I can't wait for the Reveal... can't wait

[[ja...]]

Jenny the HOPE you bring is unbelievable.  Thank you for sharing.  I can't wait for the Reveal... can't wait

awe thank you Charlene! That makes me feel good.

[[ja...]]

Thanks Jenny,

 

That was an amazing thread, very powerful! you are a fighter like no other.

 

I am amazed you could drive at 3 months; I am completely disoriented and dizzy yet, would be a disaster on the road for sure! My depth perception is still off and my head feels unattached from my body, not to mention the fear and anxiety with the inner tremor. I think when some of that eases I will try to drive a bit.

 

I will be 4 months off late next week, maybe something will let up by then! God bless you1

Thanks so much Hopeful-One

 

I know all about the dizzyness and disoriented feeling,I had it so bad. But the reason I couldnt drive was because I couldnt get the messages from my brain to my body.Like I had to make a rt turn and my arm couldnt move. It was scary . But all the dizzy and disfunction went away.I know urs will to. 

[[Bi...]]

Just stopping by to say hello. I haven't been on in several months.

 

Hope all is well in Jersey.

 

Billy.

[[ja...]]

Just stopping by to say hello. I haven't been on in several months.

 

Hope all is well in Jersey.

 

Billy.

Billy!

 

Hi .Im so glad you stopped by to say hello. Things are good in New Jersey. How have you been? I am so glad for how much you recovered.I hope this summer is being good to you!

[[Ja...]]

Hi Jenny: getting all sorts of weird pains  like my nerves are being pulled apart, sharp pain through teeth, muscle aches, vibrations... Every other day. Almost 9 months and 3 weeks out. My good days which last for more then 24 hours are close to perfect. I'm scared as to how viscious this drug is. It has no limits. Is this normal to feel this way. It is so depressing. When will this end? By the way I am in Italy now on vacation. Having great days and then this crap in between. It is so scarey....

 

[[ja...]]

I'm glad to read that you're doing so well. I remember a lot of the grief you went through and am so happy you have "come out the other end" of this experience successfully!

 

Best wishes,

 

Tucson

Tucson Thank you ...

 

I think this w/d is one of the scariest things to have to go through .But I am so glad I did. I learned allot about what my brain and body can fight through.. I know your struggling Tucson but I also know you can get through this..

 

Thank you for the nice words

[[ja...]]

Hi Jenny: getting all sorts of weird pains  like my nerves are being pulled apart, sharp pain through teeth, muscle aches, vibrations... Every other day. Almost 9 months and 3 weeks out. My good days which last for more then 24 hours are close to perfect. I'm scared as to how viscious this drug is. It has no limits. Is this normal to feel this way. It is so depressing. When will this end? By the way I am in Italy now on vacation. Having great days and then this crap in between. It is so scarey....

Jazzy Hi

 

Im sorry it took me so long to get back to you Im on vacation to and my service is super choppy here by The Jersey Shore..

 

Jazzy Im so sad your hurting ..But I really want you to know what your saying about having some bad days mixed in with some really good ones is actually a great thing..That how I knew I was healing. I had probably about equal days . Your getting better I know it.

 

Just remember this ..If you can have even One day where those sxs are easing then that means your brain is working it out and everything is in synic again. If it can do it for one day it will learn to do it everyday again . Thats what got me through the last end of my w/d .I just keep reminding myself that over and over again..

 

Italy!!!!! Nice Jazzy I hope your getting to enjoy the best you can..Have you ever gone there before? I want a pair of skinny jeans from Italy 

 

Your doing very good Jazzy hang in I hope those bad days and pain ends for you so soon...

 

P.S I had all those sxs you just said and I had them at 9 months out to..There all gone now .So will yours soon

[[Ja...]]

Tx for writing me on your vacation. That is so nice of you. Jenny my good days are pretty much perfect. I usually feel good late afternoon or early evening through the next day into the evening. I get hit sometime around 2 or 3 a.m. I can't understand why it can't hold me over more then a day and a half. Last week I was good for 48 hours which was a first. Italy is beautiful. My husband and I are here with friends. On my good days I can do anything, sleep well, eat everything..on my bad days I trudge through. It just seems never ending.

 

Visited Rome and Capri many years ago.

 

Have a wonderful vacation. I love the Jersey Shore.

 

Tx again for your support. I will keep in mind what you said.

 

[[No...]]

Congrats!

 

Your thread comes in a right time for me. I'm on my 5th month and I was starting to lose hope until I read you.

 

This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done on my life.

 

What really scares me is reading people who are suffering even after years...

 

Thank you!

[[ja...]]

Congrats!

 

Your thread comes in a right time for me. I'm on my 5th month and I was starting to lose hope until I read you.

 

This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done on my life.

 

What really scares me is reading people who are suffering even after years...

 

Thank you!

NoMoreValium

 

Thank you Im so glad my story was able to bring you hope. I remember me at month 5 and it was so upsetting how bad I was and I didnt see a break anywhere in those sxs.

 

You stay strong and dont let this w/d make you think your not going to get better. You are !

 

Keep pushing through you will see brighter days .

 

~Jenny

[[Me...]]

So glad to see you are well !!! :thumbsup:  Hey ya ever hear from our old pal Jeff  aka Woodrow?? We used to stay in touch but he just fell off the earth   

[[ja...]]

So glad to see you are well !!! :thumbsup: Hey ya ever hear from our old pal Jeff  aka Woodrow?? We used to stay in touch but he just fell off the earth 

Hey Meljo sorry your still in this mess.. I talk to Jeff every day.He didnt fall off the earth hes just limited his social activity. Hes doing ok and fighting through the rest of this w/d .Ill let him know you were asking about him.

 

[[St...]]

Hello Jenny,

 

I haven't talked with you for awhile, but thought I would stop by tonight to tell you I'm headed out tomorrow to go camping and then zip lining Saturday morning.  Yelp I remember last year reading that you had done it and I thought I would never be well enough to do such a thing.  Well here I am, 2 years out and I'm well enough!!! My husband and 3 children are going with me, we are doing it as a celebration to mark the two years and more so the celebrating of my health.  I'm so excited to be going.  We are going to make a weekend of it.  I'm getting so close Jenny. Most days I am sx free, or so slight the sx. I have a wave every now and then, but they are so much more tolerable.

 

I'll come back after my weekend and let you know how the zip lining went. I hope you are doing well and your kids are happy with being back in school and will have a good year. 

 

Thank you for all your support, not only to me but to many,

love,

Sally 

[[ja...]]

Sally!!! 

 

I am so happy for you ! This is so exciting for you and your family. I know getting to where your at felt like forever. I know you suffered so much and I felt terrible for what you were going through . But I knew with all my heart you would get all the way through this. Now look at you 

 

You always reached for help when things were so tuff and I really am so proud of you. Thank you for always trusting me and believing in me. Enjoy this weekend so much. You earned and deserve this so so much.

 

Zip lining OMG!

[[mp...]]

Hey Jenny - guess what? I am going to be writing my success story very soon! I can finally walk with you!!! 

 

Remember how frightened I was of everything? No more!! I'm walking upright everyday!! Upright and straight ahead. 

 

M. 

[[ja...]]

Hey Jenny - guess what? I am going to be writing my success story very soon! I can finally walk with you!!! 

 

Remember how frightened I was of everything? No more!! I'm walking upright everyday!! Upright and straight ahead. 

 

M. 

Amazing Miss M!!!!

 

I am so happy for you and I know you fought so hard for so long. You did it! You did it! This is beautiful news. This makes it so worth wild for me to still be here after seeing so much pain . I hope I was able to give you some understanding and peace when things seemed so scary and never ending! I knew you would make it to this side . 

[[mp...]]

it's like you had a clear voice holding up a lantern with pure light to guide us all out. Many thanks to you my friend.

 

M.   

[[ja...]]

it's like you had a clear voice holding up a lantern with pure light to guide us all out. Many thanks to you my friend.

 

M.   

Awe thank you so much 

[[Ho...]]

Jenny,

 

I just wanted to check in on your "blog" b/c you were a great support to me awhile back.  I am still mightely struggling; housebound and bedbound most of the time and almost 14 mos off.  Ugh.  It is a really challenging time for me.  The dizziness, weakness and jitters are killer, and now the mental is taking over (not in a good way); so I am reaching back out to my buddies for support. 

 

Much love Jenny, thank you for all the support you provide to us who are still in the thick of it! 

 

And M, WHOPEEEEEEEE!  I am so happy for you?  When do you think you started to see improvements?  No windows for me yet, just groundhog day for the last 14 mos and I'm starting to get discouraged b/c I haven't seen improvement. 

 

xoxoxox friends!

 

HF

[[ja...]]

Hi Hoosierfans

 

Oh no I am so sorry to hear your hurting like this. I hate this w/d so much. I know how debilatating it can be. I became bedbound and housebound myself. HF dont let this get you discourged  you are healing so much everyday. Even when it feels like this w/d is getting worse. I remember how this was weaking my spirit to fight . I promise you this will start to ease and the waves become much lighter and then the windows start to make you feel more and more like you did before this w/d started. Its amazing when this happens. It is a hard and scary exhausting experience but your brain knows exacting how to fix it all,

 

Your doing so good by reaching out to positive people and keeping your self in strong. You come visit me anytime you need a boost or some hope .I know exacting what your going through and I cant wait for you to know exacting where I am now. 

[[Ho...]]

Hi Hoosierfans

 

Oh no I am so sorry to hear your hurting like this. I hate this w/d so much. I know how debilatating it can be. I became bedbound and housebound myself. HF dont let this get you discourged  you are healing so much everyday. Even when it feels like this w/d is getting worse. I remember how this was weaking my spirit to fight . I promise you this will start to ease and the waves become much lighter and then the windows start to make you feel more and more like you did before this w/d started. Its amazing when this happens. It is a hard and scary exhausting experience but your brain knows exacting how to fix it all,

 

Your doing so good by reaching out to positive people and keeping your self in strong. You come visit me anytime you need a boost or some hope .I know exacting what your going through and I cant wait for you to know exacting where I am now. 

 

Jenny,

 

Thank you so much.  The doubt starts really creeping in when you see so many folks who have healed or are healing so much faster than you are.  But I keep telling myself that I basically c/t off the Ativan, and I had 18 months prior to that of my brain being jacked around on different doses of meds every 4 weeks....so I have a very confused brain!!!  And then add the birth control pill I took about 3 mos off, and that really set me back.  So it is logical that it is taking me longer than most to heal.  I am encouraged to see Prettydaisies starting to heal as she has had a lot of the head stuff like I have had.

 

Many thanks for sticking around.  After loosing WFR, I think one of my biggest fears is that those I have befriended and rely on to help me through will disappear, and I won't have it in me to do this myself.  But I know deep down I am stronger than my messed up brain is telling me I am!!

 

HF