Again

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Good luck with the big panel interview, I'm hoping that your toxic sleep goes away first so you don't feel hungover during it. Maybe try to avoid the unison? I tried some of that a few years ago and it made me feel like death, like a synthetic alcohol hangover with antidepressants or something strange, never took it again.

I experienced toxic sleep last night as well, I think it's because I bought some French brioche buns with regular sugar in them as an ingredient. Normally I eat sourdough bread to avoid that when I'm making my burgers, but I slipped because I really wanted something sweet and fulfilling. Bad mistake. So instead I ended up sleeping about 6 hours total, instead of seven or eight, woke up lacking the extra hour and setting off my ear buzzing and sweating.

As for earlier, I feel a little immature for engaging with the moderators. I feel like the whole vibe of this post got thrown off, whereas before it was good. I'm not saying it was my fault, but at the same time, I know I didn't help either. I think I might just need a break from this website in general soon, I can only handle about a few weeks at a time max. I'm so far out and almost healed, that it's like a stressor instead of help much of the time. After almost 5 years of this nonsense, you can only look back so much instead of moving forward. Benzo buddies is really bad at taking you back, for any of those who have been here a long time.

Thanks Justin x fortunately it’s later in the day so my brain usually plays nice then. 
I can never really pin point what effects me, but I’m glad that u are able to Justin. 
don’t worry about earlier, like I said I appreciate all opinions and never felt like it was getting uncomfortable. But others did and because of that it’s best to move on to safer topics ❤️ Not because I don’t like an argument coz trust me I can really get going, but I just don’t have the energy sometimes u know? I think I learnt during Covid when to rain my opinions in. Also because I am vegetarian and have been since I was 16, and have had to suffer thru constant examination and ridicule of my diet, I would never push my thoughts or opinions on others, coz I sure don’t like having to deal with that myself. 
Ill never take what I said about the Kardashians back tho. 😂
I agree being here can pull u down at times that’s why I usually try to just have a laugh. For anyone new who sees this post and thinks omg. They are so far out and still doing it tough , I’d just say it’s like night and day how I felt at the beginning, and looking back what I’m dealing with now really doesn’t compare because I am so much better. But I think having an occasional vent is good here coz it allows people to be open about how they are feeling too. We can’t be brave all the time. 

Edited March 18 by [Sh...]

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Xray, Decatur, Colin, Anti, let's all forget about earlier, cool?

At least I can appreciate some good contradicting views. I like seeing everybody's opinions from around the world, whether good or bad. Progress can never be made without expressing your points and making opinions heard.

At the end of the day it's the moderators website to do as they wish, they have the ultimate control of it. As at the end of the day I have the right to express myself how I wish, and maybe it needs to be somewhere else.

I genuinely wish there was a website where we could 100% bash doctors and bash the a$$hole legislators that put us in this irresponsible bind. Apparently this isn't the place. I wish a lot more on them as well, I believe some of them need prison sentences for the lives destroyed.

I might check back to see everybody's progress, and wish everyone well. But the weather has finally cleared up for the season, Seattle skies are bright and blue again and the weather is getting dry and we will be without clouds and without rain for about another 6 months soon. Pacific Northwest summers are the best, low 60s at night and 70s throughout the day with hardly any humidity and load dew points, not a drop of rain in sight (unless heat domes come through occasionally). Take care.

Justin u sure shouldn’t leave because of anything that happened on this post. I think everyone should agree it’s water under the bridge. The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same. Or like the Kardashians 
 

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Sounds good, I like the positivity. Believe it or not, Seattle only rains about 30 in per year on average. I was living in the southeast before moving here, the Carolinas and Florida get close to 60 in per year I'm almost double the amount of rain. Seattle is like a light mist all winter, it's like turning on a grocery store mist, most of the time.

But yeah, I actually need a break from everything in general, it's not just the website. I've got major life issues to work out. As a lot of you already know, I'm a little bit in a different corner than everyone else. I recovered from massive amounts of substances and partying from the time I was a young teenager until in my thirties.

I was in and out of jails and Mental Hospitals, not for anything violent or bad, mainly for substance abuse. I ended up homeless later on, ended up losing children, ended up destroying my credit, tried to get off of all the alcohol and pills and cocaine and all the other stuff multiple times, kept ending up in psych wards, had my driver's license revoked and gun rights taken, had organs taken out and ended up with several sutures and stitches, suicide attempts on my life, the whole nine yards. The majority of my friends from when we were little, they all died for the most part. There's only a few left. It's no joking matter, it's serious stuff.

But on the bright side, I haven't had any substances in almost 5 years, I'm almost healed from the benzos, I'm living in a luxury Waterfront place on the Puget Sound overlooking the islands and Mount Rainier and the Olympic Mountain range, I've got direct views of the famous Rockstar hotel across the street with limos dropping off famous people, cruise ships dock right outside of my living room window, and I've got endless good food from the farmers market and tons of famous concerts a couple blocks away. You could say life improved, good credit and good finances and good health minus this sleep and remaining physical symptoms.

The reason I'm bringing this up, is because if I can heal from all of that, you can all heal too! Nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. Unless you actually die permanently, everything is reversible. We are made out of human materials, we are biological, we are part of nature, that means we can evolve, that means we can heal, that means good diet and proper lifestyles can create a good future again. I just want everyone to forget about the negativity, remember things could be worse, and to strive for the best lives you can. And if you're like me and you can no longer party the way you used to when you were younger, find a new area and new hobbies like I did, life can still be great.

Justin u my friend are a f$!ken badass. 
you are a truly inspiring person who’s feedback is very important here. Wow. I never knew I had been thru so much. 
I was a bit naughty when I was younger too, but from my experience street drugs were a cake walk compared to this shit. 
I haven’t touched any illegal drugs in over 17 years, but definitely had a battle with alcohol until around the time I started using Benzos. So I know alcohol definitely lead me down the benzo path. 
I try to think of it as a lesson now, a nasty one, but I’m basically sober mostly, except I sometimes have a light beer or 2. But like, maybe once a month. 

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I appreciate it. Yeah essentially I was a party boy, without getting into the specifics since there's rules about it, let's just say I was a recreational party boy. Almost every day of my life, the biggest wildest parties, the fastest motorcycles, the high rises, the oceanfront living, the mountaintop condos, all that stuff.

But I also couldn't control my partying, it went way above the average person's. This came with a lot of downfalls, I would make a ton of money, and then I would lose a ton of money quick. I would get a brand new place, and I would party my way to eviction and have to move again. I would throw massive parties, and I would make massive neighbor enemies. Sort of similar to my mindset on this website, it was all or nothing, there was no moderation.

Anyhow, the benzos were my ultimate demise. Instead of healing within a few days at recovery homes like most people, I would have to get out of there as quick as possible to start taking my prescribed pills again. The doctors kept claiming mental conditions, I kept believing it. I kept going back on them, and it was a repetitive cycle of addiction. Yes it was prescribed, but that was my ultimate addiction was the benzos, that's what I was most dependent on physically and mentally. It was So bad, eventually I was counting them and I had piles of them in my cabinet. Thousands of them stored away, and irresponsible doctors to provide that many.

Anyways, I got into quite a few cop chases on my Kawasaki Ninjas and Honda cbrs, ended up with a bunch of felony charges and misdemeanors. I got those all dismissed, but it cost thousands and thousands of dollars. I put myself in debt, had to go through bankruptcies, had to start jobs all over, had to keep moving. I started living it up again, but then screwed it all up again with benzos and Recovery homes non-stop, couldn't keep a job.

After all the ups and downs and moving from mountains to coastal areas and regular Apartments back to luxury condos, and doing the whole cycle about a million times, eventually I gave up mentally. I moved West and ended up in the mountain west, it was too expensive. I wasn't prepared, I went there on a flim and it was the worst decision. Ended up on the streets, didn't have the thousands I needed to secure housing, ended up going through the first major benzo withdrawal that was prolonged while living in homeless shelters and Street Alleyways and climbing to rooftops to avoid people. I was sleeping out in the Mountain West dry cold, getting snowed on and trying to take shelter with plastic tarps.

I ended up getting trespassing charges and out past curfew tickets from the corrupt police officers, who had no sympathy for those without money. So I was in and out of jail cells, had a lot of gang member and violent people in my jail cells, while I was going through massive benzo withdrawal and paranoid. The jail guards and nurses promoted antipsychotics and antidepressants as if that was going to solve the problem, and only made it worse. It was a hell hole, I'm sure you can imagine exactly what it was like.

Anyways after getting discharged from jail a few times, I started drinking a bunch to get rid of the benzo withdrawal. I started Downing bottles of vodka like it was water, and it would alleviate the symptoms temporarily, but increase them tenfold upon cessation. I started having lots of seizures and ending up in the icu, they had to place PICC lines in my armpit and inject me with liquid benzos and phenobarbital every 15 minutes to prevent me from dying. I was having delirium tremens and all that. Eventually they ended up putting me back on the pills, because it was an emergency.

So without including all the other details of the whole events that would take days to explain, basically I finally had enough. Back in 2019 I was so tired of the reinstating and the kindling and the financial woes and the state criminalizing me for the doctor's irresponsible prescribing and everything else, that I attempted my own life. Ended up with stitches and lost half of my blood and got tazed by the police and ended up getting thrown into my floor by five police officers with guns, thrown into a mental ward and injected with meds against my will and strapped down with leather straps and transported across the state with a sheriff's prison van with no windows, locked up for over 30 days.

Fast forward until now, and I'm living it up again, credit is fixed, license is back, criminal record gone and expunged, overlooking islands and eating the best foods, extra money in the bank, exploring the islands and going for boat rides again. I've got a high-rise rooftop that overlooks the volcanoes and mountain ranges and cruise ships and the City skyscrapers, I've got endless concerts to go to, Pike Market Farmers Market down the street. Things are pretty good, can't complain about that. Of course there's a lot more because I'm 40 years old, it's a whole lifetime worth of craziness basically. But yeah, either way things pretty much worked out.

The thing I was saying about I still have a lot to work on, is I still majorly distrust doctors, I still hate the government policies that put me in that mind, such as the evictions and civil records. Things like criminal records for nonviolent offenses and ridiculous things like substance related charges, all of those government protocols keep people from housing and purposely keep people down, it's like a lifelong prison sentence outside of prison. There needs to be major Criminal Justice Reform.

Anyways that's why I have major problems with authority and being controlled, because I was controlled for too long for ridiculous things. After losing my daughter at 9 months and experiencing homelessness and benzo withdrawal in jails and forced cold turkeys over and over, keep in mind I've been through benzo withdrawal at least a dozen times, you'll learn to hate the system. So I'm working on getting some kind of trust back I guess you could say, I have to regain life and society's trust.

Justin I have no words. U a a trooper mate. You should be very proud of urself u have made it to the other side. Amazing 🥲 

I just wish Kim Kardashian was around to help u out back then with ur prison stuff, since she’s so learned in that area. 🙃

[[Ju...]]

23 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Justin u my friend are a f$!ken badass. 
you are a truly inspiring person who’s feedback is very important here. Wow. I never knew I had been thru so much. 
I was a bit naughty when I was younger too, but from my experience street drugs were a cake walk compared to this shit. 
I haven’t touched any illegal drugs in over 17 years, but definitely had a battle with alcohol until around the time I started using Benzos. So I know alcohol definitely lead me down the benzo path. 
I try to think of it as a lesson now, a nasty one, but I’m basically sober mostly, except I sometimes have a light beer or 2. But like, maybe once a month. 

From Australia to America, sounds like we got started the same way. Even though I was born in Boston Massachusetts, I was raised in the south. Southerners drink a whole lot, probably on par with Australians. I was someone with an Irish and Hungarian background, growing up in the Southern United States with tons of alcohol and pills around.

Just like you, I was downing beers and drinking shots on a daily basis. I would wake up with massive hangovers and shakes after several months of Non-Stop partying, and found that benzos solved that problem quick, just a quick Xanax or two in the morning and I was good to go for the day. Well it became day two, day 3, month 5, year two, etc.

Anyways I went to the psychiatrist because I couldn't figure out what was wrong in the morning, even after several years I didn't know it was because of the substances. I thought it was anxiety or something, because a lot of my friends didn't have that problem. The psychiatrist labeled me with generalized anxiety disorder and substance use disorder, and started prescribing me benzos. I took them off the streets for a couple years first, and then the doctors prescribed them with greater frequency and quantities. Basically the doctor became the new drug dealer.

But yeah that was a really bad idea going to the doctor, because then it turned into an endless Pharmacy that I could access anytime, and I would combine them with everything else. The alcohol, the cocaine, the ecstasy, all that stuff that I can't get into on this website. And yes colin, I'm aware of the rules, and I'm not trying to discuss substance abuse. It's just that the moderator asked earlier, and I felt appropriate for this conversation to explain what got me into the bind anyways. But yeah, it was a whole slew of central nervous system depressants for a couple decades straight. Bad idea.

Weed, opiates, cocaine, any of that stuff, it's all a central nervous system medicine or illegal drug or whatever you want to call it. Depends on how you're using it and for what purpose. But if you're just acting ridiculous and partying like I was and maximizing everything at once like it's an endless Buffet at thanksgiving, eventually you're going to pay the price. It would be great if the moderators would let us talk about substance abuse on this website, because it's pretty important stuff.

I feel we would probably attract a lot more people, and everyone would be more open to what happened. I could be wrong, but I believe a lot of the members on here ended up here for similar reasons, maybe having too much wine, Maybe trying to much weed, whatever the case, I don't think everybody was all innocent like they say. It's just that I'm not afraid to speak it, I like others to have awareness and I think it's good for other people to benefit from real healing, instead of fake government mandated non-substance discussions.

Luckily these days the government is paying attention to substance abuse a lot more, treating it more like a health condition. Like here in Seattle for example, they stopped Prosecuting people for drugs. Anybody that's carrying under 2 G of any illegal substances, even felony substances, they do not get in trouble. And just recently Oregon down below us on our Southern border, they just recently legalized and decriminalized drugs as well. It's a move in the right direction for the majority, of course some will abuse it and use it to their advantage, like anything else.

I think the goal in life should be to prosper and be your best self, not to be held down by judgments or opinions or fake laws. That's counterproductive, that's not helping anyone. And look at all of our favorite actors and musicians, they do the same thing. Look at the Geniuses throughout history like Einstein or Elon Musk or anybody else, they've all had their experiences as well. Even the presidents and their children, they were in and out of detox as well. This is no secret, but some people feel Superior to it for some reason. At the end of the day, whether it's prescribed or not, it's the same thing. The substance is a substance and your body doesn't know the difference to the legal status or prescriptive status of it.

[[Ju...]]

35 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

Justin I have no words. U a a trooper mate. You should be very proud of urself u have made it to the other side. Amazing 🥲 

I just wish Kim Kardashian was around to help u out back then with ur prison stuff, since she’s so learned in that area. 🙃

Oh man, that whole entire Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and Donald Trump and Paris Hilton and Taylor Swift and whatever other mainstream nonsense is constantly on the tv, it pisses me off to the fullest.

I was essentially living in a daze for years and years, and when I came out of it, that's all I heard about. It's like it became a form of ptsd, like the ultimate inconvenience, like a pest you just want to smash.

And yeah, what would those rich entitled actors know about prison reform? They grew up with silver spoons in their mouth, not to say they haven't been through anything in life, but I'm sure they haven't been through the criminal justice system. It's just another marketing tactic, hopefully it goes away permanently.

And yes, we are the true troopers. And you're absolutely right, benzo withdrawal is far worse than any of the illegal stuff. You should also be proud of yourself, we're both making it through the other side.

[[he...]]

On 16/03/2024 at 23:14, [[J...] said:

Exactly guys, that's why I want to move to the top of a mountain like I've been preaching for the last month non-stop. Everybody's probably wondering who's this crazy guy that keeps talking about moving to a remote Mountain and never returning to society? I'm like yep, that's me.

I am dreaming to buy a plot of forest in the middle of sweden, so i get it lol.

[[Ju...]]

Just now, [[h...] said:

I am dreaming to buy a plot of forest in the middle of sweden, so i get it lol.

I'm jealous! I would love to live in the Scandinavian areas. I've always said if I could choose any location up there, I would pick one of the Norwegian Islands surrounded by snow-capped mountains, like a cabin sitting right in the middle of the water on an island surrounded by mountains. Get the best of both worlds. I even looked into Norway once, but it seems they don't want us Americans.

But I love sweden, such a great place. The people are down to earth, the culture is great, and I like a lot of the music.

[[Sh...]]

3 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I forgot to add, I guess you could say my major gripe and problem with society and the government, is they are too judgmental. I felt the same from moderation on this website, but maybe I was incorrect.

It's like this, why is somebody hated on for abusing substances? Yeah they already accepted their own bad decisions, and they already paid the price for it personally. Why rub it in? The substance abuser also had the highest highs, also lived better than anybody at some points. Why talk down on somebody who's lived a better life?

But to be fair, yes we also lived the lowest lows. We almost destroyed our lives, and many of us died. But why be reprimanded for dying and living lows? That would be like punching your old grandma in the face for getting sick or cancer. That wouldn't make any sense.

Or imagine looking down on somebody because they don't make enough money, telling them that they ruined their own life because of their job choices. That's essentially what people are doing when they look down on substance abusers, just because they don't want to put themselves in the same class. It's almost as if regular Society feels superior, just because they didn't violate any man-made laws.

This is why I get into many arguments with so-called regular society and the people on the pedestals. I always tell them, yes but remember who had all the money and the best highs in life, and remember those who also got through the lowest lows and persevered through anything. Those people really shouldn't be judged, people such as myself.

Anyways, I hope that clears up what I was saying about regaining trust with people that haven't lived those life styles. For some reason if you're a rockstar and you're famous, everyone looks up to you. But if you live that exact same life without the concerts and without the media attention, everybody criminalizes you for the exact same thing. Double standards? I guess so. Anyways, I'm glad we had the talk and I'll check back from time to time as I heal.

I know living the life I’ve lived, I’ve seen the best of both worlds, and it means I have a level of empathy that others don’t. People forget we are all from different backgrounds, and we handle things in different ways. It’s all perspective. I come from a loving family, my parents are still together, there was no abuse. We weren’t poor. Yet I pushed the limits in terms of, maybe not in the way u did Justin, but I look back and wonder how I didn’t die. I was crazy and it was a big joke. Invincible. 
so why did I do it? What pushed me to be so reckless? Coz I felt like it I spose. 
Some gamble, some people have sex with strangers. Maybe we do crazy shit to feel more alive. 

[[Sh...]]

43 minutes ago, [[J...] said:

From Australia to America, sounds like we got started the same way. Even though I was born in Boston Massachusetts, I was raised in the south. Southerners drink a whole lot, probably on par with Australians. I was someone with an Irish and Hungarian background, growing up in the Southern United States with tons of alcohol and pills around.

Just like you, I was downing beers and drinking shots on a daily basis. I would wake up with massive hangovers and shakes after several months of Non-Stop partying, and found that benzos solved that problem quick, just a quick Xanax or two in the morning and I was good to go for the day. Well it became day two, day 3, month 5, year two, etc.

Anyways I went to the psychiatrist because I couldn't figure out what was wrong in the morning, even after several years I didn't know it was because of the substances. I thought it was anxiety or something, because a lot of my friends didn't have that problem. The psychiatrist labeled me with generalized anxiety disorder and substance use disorder, and started prescribing me benzos. I took them off the streets for a couple years first, and then the doctors prescribed them with greater frequency and quantities. Basically the doctor became the new drug dealer.

But yeah that was a really bad idea going to the doctor, because then it turned into an endless Pharmacy that I could access anytime, and I would combine them with everything else. The alcohol, the cocaine, the ecstasy, all that stuff that I can't get into on this website. And yes colin, I'm aware of the rules, and I'm not trying to discuss substance abuse. It's just that the moderator asked earlier, and I felt appropriate for this conversation to explain what got me into the bind anyways. But yeah, it was a whole slew of central nervous system depressants for a couple decades straight. Bad idea.

Weed, opiates, cocaine, any of that stuff, it's all a central nervous system medicine or illegal drug or whatever you want to call it. Depends on how you're using it and for what purpose. But if you're just acting ridiculous and partying like I was and maximizing everything at once like it's an endless Buffet at thanksgiving, eventually you're going to pay the price. It would be great if the moderators would let us talk about substance abuse on this website, because it's pretty important stuff.

I feel we would probably attract a lot more people, and everyone would be more open to what happened. I could be wrong, but I believe a lot of the members on here ended up here for similar reasons, maybe having too much wine, Maybe trying to much weed, whatever the case, I don't think everybody was all innocent like they say. It's just that I'm not afraid to speak it, I like others to have awareness and I think it's good for other people to benefit from real healing, instead of fake government mandated non-substance discussions.

Luckily these days the government is paying attention to substance abuse a lot more, treating it more like a health condition. Like here in Seattle for example, they stopped Prosecuting people for drugs. Anybody that's carrying under 2 G of any illegal substances, even felony substances, they do not get in trouble. And just recently Oregon down below us on our Southern border, they just recently legalized and decriminalized drugs as well. It's a move in the right direction for the majority, of course some will abuse it and use it to their advantage, like anything else.

I think the goal in life should be to prosper and be your best self, not to be held down by judgments or opinions or fake laws. That's counterproductive, that's not helping anyone. And look at all of our favorite actors and musicians, they do the same thing. Look at the Geniuses throughout history like Einstein or Elon Musk or anybody else, they've all had their experiences as well. Even the presidents and their children, they were in and out of detox as well. This is no secret, but some people feel Superior to it for some reason. At the end of the day, whether it's prescribed or not, it's the same thing. The substance is a substance and your body doesn't know the difference to the legal status or prescriptive status of it.

It doesn’t matter how or why, we walked the same line, and it brought us to the same place.

[[Sh...]]

This one’s for us Justin 🫢

[[Ju...]]

2 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

This one’s for us Justin 🫢

Right? And I take risks and go without the multivitamins even...danger.

[[Sh...]]

Yeah I don’t take the multivitamin either. Just makes ur wee fluro yellow 🤗

Edited March 18 by [Sh...]

[[he...]]

7 hours ago, [[J...] said:

I'm jealous! I would love to live in the Scandinavian areas. I've always said if I could choose any location up there, I would pick one of the Norwegian Islands surrounded by snow-capped mountains, like a cabin sitting right in the middle of the water on an island surrounded by mountains. Get the best of both worlds. I even looked into Norway once, but it seems they don't want us Americans.

But I love sweden, such a great place. The people are down to earth, the culture is great, and I like a lot of the music.

Well if my brain recoveres enough and i can financially and then one day make it happen, i will invite benzobuddies over for a forest retreat 😁

[[he...]]

6 hours ago, [[S...] said:

This one’s for us Justin 🫢

9:45 AND multivitamins, thats wild, 9:30 is pushing it and i just freaked out cause i saw a chocolate chip cookie i had has added vit D🤪

Edited March 18 by [he...]

[[Th...]]

I took Vitamin D throughout my withdrawal.  10,000 IU daily and I never stopped.  That and fish oil (Omega 3s) were something I took daily and still do.  They never caused me any issues.  I know everyone is different, but Omega 3s and Vitamin D3 were recommended by a Naturopathic doctor I was seeing at the time.  Peace!

[[Ne...]]

I try not to equate reasons for flare ups to causes.  I have waves while not altering anything I do or eat.  For me, I just look at it as my CNS is further healing.  I take vitamin d, b6, b12, calcium, magnesium. Omega 3. Vitamin c and zinc. I drink decaffeinated green tea daily (l-theanine).  Based on so many postings of other buddies, it seems that there is so much difference in level of sensitivities.  I have not had any alcohol since CT (33 months  out) and am still reluctant to try alcohol due to my lingering broken sleep and tinnitus.

[[Ju...]]

Yes we all very greatly in these symptomatic triggers. I ate some supposed all natural no preservative French brioche buns over the last few days to go with my hamburgers. It was a bad idea, they weren't actually organic. Normally I only eat real foods and occasional organic sourdough bread. This time I slipped, ended up looking at the ingredients and it had a bunch of fake sugar and beta-carotene and some other supposed all natural stuff. Threw me into a major wave.

I think the reason for my food sensitivities is mainly due to my extremely Clean Diet though. The only sugars I ever eat are from natural fruits, like apples and oranges and pineapples etc. For some reason this kind of sugar doesn't affect me at all, only the processed sugars and added sugars do.

I'm not sure about magnesium and all that kind of stuff, or fish oil or vitamin D supplements. I haven't experimented with all of that since I went cold turkey almost 5 years ago. I see supplements in a different way than most people, I look at it like why take it in the first place? Fresh food has better vitamins, so why not just go with the fresh food instead?

For example, why take fish oil when you could just eat fish? Why take vitamin D, when you can just eat sour cream or drink milk or go outside in the sun? Or why eat magnesium instead of eating a banana? Stuff like that, not that there's anything wrong with supplements, but it's not possible that it's a higher quality than the real food. It was all extracted from the real foods, and probably lost its efficiency when it lost its pulp and other necessary fibers Etc extracted out of the food.

Think vitamin C for example. Yeah you can take vitamin C tablets when you're sick, but it's not going to work as good as an actual orange with the pulp and the acidity and the natural sugars and the vitamins and everything combined. There's something about the real deal, the actual food that's superior to the pills and supplements. I might be wrong on this, but all of the naturopaths and dietitians agree. I had this discussion with quite a few naturopath doctors some years back, and they all agree that if you can access the real food, then yes by all means go with that instead.

[[Sh...]]

6 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I took Vitamin D throughout my withdrawal.  10,000 IU daily and I never stopped.  That and fish oil (Omega 3s) were something I took daily and still do.  They never caused me any issues.  I know everyone is different, but Omega 3s and Vitamin D3 were recommended by a Naturopathic doctor I was seeing at the time.  Peace!

I think I took vit d at some stage, but if u saw my skin, there’s no need for me to take it. I get plenty from the sun. I took so many different sups over this period I just don’t think they really work. Only in my experience. None of them made any difference to me. I just try to get all mine from diet now. 
I do chia and hemp seeds for my omega 3. 

[[Sh...]]

5 hours ago, [[N...] said:

I try not to equate reasons for flare ups to causes.  I have waves while not altering anything I do or eat.  For me, I just look at it as my CNS is further healing.  I take vitamin d, b6, b12, calcium, magnesium. Omega 3. Vitamin c and zinc. I drink decaffeinated green tea daily (l-theanine).  Based on so many postings of other buddies, it seems that there is so much difference in level of sensitivities.  I have not had any alcohol since CT (33 months  out) and am still reluctant to try alcohol due to my lingering broken sleep and tinnitus.

Yeah I get waves regardless too. Last night I had zero perceived sleep. I didn’t eat or drink anything bad, I excercised but not too late, before bed I did some study so I wasn’t overstimulated. Now I feel like death for yet another day. 
I’ve given up trying to figure it out. Today I wonder how the hell im going to do shift work if I get this job I’m going for. 

[[Sh...]]

5 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Yes we all very greatly in these symptomatic triggers. I ate some supposed all natural no preservative French brioche buns over the last few days to go with my hamburgers. It was a bad idea, they weren't actually organic. Normally I only eat real foods and occasional organic sourdough bread. This time I slipped, ended up looking at the ingredients and it had a bunch of fake sugar and beta-carotene and some other supposed all natural stuff. Threw me into a major wave.

I think the reason for my food sensitivities is mainly due to my extremely Clean Diet though. The only sugars I ever eat are from natural fruits, like apples and oranges and pineapples etc. For some reason this kind of sugar doesn't affect me at all, only the processed sugars and added sugars do.

I'm not sure about magnesium and all that kind of stuff, or fish oil or vitamin D supplements. I haven't experimented with all of that since I went cold turkey almost 5 years ago. I see supplements in a different way than most people, I look at it like why take it in the first place? Fresh food has better vitamins, so why not just go with the fresh food instead?

For example, why take fish oil when you could just eat fish? Why take vitamin D, when you can just eat sour cream or drink milk or go outside in the sun? Or why eat magnesium instead of eating a banana? Stuff like that, not that there's anything wrong with supplements, but it's not possible that it's a higher quality than the real food. It was all extracted from the real foods, and probably lost its efficiency when it lost its pulp and other necessary fibers Etc extracted out of the food.

Think vitamin C for example. Yeah you can take vitamin C tablets when you're sick, but it's not going to work as good as an actual orange with the pulp and the acidity and the natural sugars and the vitamins and everything combined. There's something about the real deal, the actual food that's superior to the pills and supplements. I might be wrong on this, but all of the naturopaths and dietitians agree. I had this discussion with quite a few naturopath doctors some years back, and they all agree that if you can access the real food, then yes by all means go with that instead.

I think ur right about it being coz ur so clean. But I’d rather be clean too. U can use some coz lettuce leaves to replace the burger bun,  I do that a lot. I used to make buns from coconut flour and eggs. I’ll try to find the recipe for you. 
im not to strict now. I do eat very healthily but if I want some chocolate I have it. I eat it during the day tho never at night and I only have like 1 square. 
I agree getting vitamins from diet. I do take iron tho, liquid iron it’s a fairly natural one. I don’t eat meat so I need to take that coz my iron is always low even tho I make sure to have plenty of leafy greens, I have oats every morning and eat tofu and tempeh and plenty of other veg. But for my stores are always low 

Edited March 18 by [Sh...]

[[Ju...]]

28 minutes ago, [[S...] said:

I think ur right about it being coz ur so clean. But I’d rather be clean too. U can use some coz lettuce leaves to replace the burger bun,  I do that a lot. I used to make buns from coconut flour and eggs. I’ll try to find the recipe for you. 
im not to strict now. I do eat very healthily but if I want some chocolate I have it. I eat it during the day tho never at night and I only have like 1 square. 
I agree getting vitamins from diet. I do take iron tho, liquid iron it’s a fairly natural one. I don’t eat meat so I need to take that coz my iron is always low even tho I make sure to have plenty of leafy greens, I have oats every morning and eat tofu and tempeh and plenty of other veg. But for my stores are always low 

Your diet sounds pretty healthy. I had to eat vegetarian one time when I broke my ankle and couldn't get to the store, all I had was eggplants and tomatoes and peppers and all kinds of vegetables at the house, along with fruits. This lasted about a week, but my stomach was growling a bunch because it was missing all the meat protein. Maybe this is something that your body has to adjust to, I'm not sure because I've never tried it prolonged.

Normally I eat organic sourdough toast from the bakery, I just get a whole loaf of bread and slice it and pop it in the oven at the same time when I'm reheating my burgers. Usually it tastes better than any kind of burger buns, and for some reason organic sourdough starter and the sourdough ingredients don't cause any problems. It's as if I'm just eating meat and vegetables and fruits, even though I've got bread included. The other bread I'll eat is organic taco shells, whether it is corn or flour. The organic ones never cause any problems for me, but the ones that are not organic and have all the preservatives and added vitamins, those things can set me into a wave.

I never knew any of this or paid attention to ingredients at all, until benzo withdrawal. I always knew that if I was getting something with a million different preservatives on the back of the box, that was bad. But aside from the majorly bad ones, I thought no biggie. As soon as benzo withdrawal started though, I could actually feel it, it was literally setting me into hellish waves. It's as if benzo withdrawal was literally trying to teach me something, sometimes I wonder.

Benzo withdrawal teaches me things about meat and fruits as well. Like chicken digests better than beef, keeps me full longer. Things like apples keep me full as opposed to pineapples, which make me hungrier. Or that certain magnesium foods like bananas sometimes cause me muscle cramps, whereas other magnesium foods like avocados don't. Weird right? There's got to be a lot more to these Foods than we know and benzo withdrawal is telling me.

That's why I'm not big on supplements. I used to take them when I was younger, but then I started finding the actual food is different than the vitamin. Think about it like THC from marijuana, you can just extract the THC itself and buy it at the dispensary, but it gives you a completely different medical benefit than the entire full plant, different effect and all. How does it do it? Well apparently it's because of all the other stuff, just like food.

Nature has a lot of secrets, or I guess you could say undiscovered human potential. There's so much more to this world that we have no clue about so far, imagine all the discoveries we will find in the future. Plant medicines, etc.

[[...]]

5 hours ago, [[S...] said:

Yeah I get waves regardless too. Last night I had zero perceived sleep. I didn’t eat or drink anything bad, I excercised but not too late, before bed I did some study so I wasn’t overstimulated. Now I feel like death for yet another day. 
I’ve given up trying to figure it out. Today I wonder how the hell im going to do shift work if I get this job I’m going for. 

That’s how it works on me as well. I make no changes and shit goes south. I’ve given up trying to figure out a pattern as well. I just eat what I feel like and drink what I feel like.  
You’re a badass Shayna. You’ll kick the shit out of the new job. Even with the shift work. 

[[Sh...]]

Thanks X-ray. Yeah that’s what I do too. I eat well 90% of the time and the rest I have little things here and there. It’s always short lived, I don’t do it all the time. 
I have always struggled to sleep during the day but I guess if I’m tired enuf I’ll sleep. I expect it to be very mentally and physically draining so I’m trying not to catastrophize too much. 
man today was challenging I’m not gunna lie. My head feels like it’s in a vice. I’m looking after marketing for a construction company atm and seriously trying to get anything done is kinda like beating ur brain in with a hammer. Tradies 🤦‍♀️
 

[[Be...]]

On 18/03/2024 at 00:48, [[S...] said:

 For anyone new who sees this post and thinks omg. They are so far out and still doing it tough , I’d just say it’s like night and day how I felt at the beginning, and looking back what I’m dealing with now really doesn’t compare because I am so much better. 

Exactly. Things still are happening, the benzo beast keeps nipping at our heels. I felt pretty horrible before doing the NAD+, felt decent right after I did it and jumped off the remaining 2.75  mg of diazepam. Then all hell came through once acute set in. I really toughed it out that month. Once in post-acute, that's when things started happening. Rather than focusing on what was still bothering me, symptom-wise, I focused on what wasn't. I am most definitely in a better place now, than I was almost a year ago. Way better. It really does get better with time;  once the poison is out of your system, is when the brain can finally heal. I look at the return of some symptoms being the sign that there's some fine-tuning going on. I am doing way more than I was then. Way more than my entire taper.